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| Then and Now |
When I saw the photo of me on the right (taken a few weeks ago with the same friend) I was horrified. "I look like an Amazon next to my friend!" I proclaimed. Then I changed my tune.
Wait just a minute. I'm not an amazon - my friend is petite!
Both times I felt like an amazon, but this time around I was able to cut away those negative thoughts and see things as they really are. Yes, I'm bigger than my friend. No matter what size I am, this will always be true. It is also true that I am not an Amazon!
A few years after the photo on the left was taken, I asked a psychic about my weight. The psychic told me that yes, my weight was going to come off, but it would take three years. I was not happy (understatement) with this news. As it turns out - the psychic was right. Within the year I went to see Julie. Two and a half years later-my attitude has changed about how long this is going to take; I dropped from a size 30/32 to a size 16. This journey is going to take me three years. It is what it is.
When I started this program I was a size 30/32. Along the way there have been periods of time when I felt like I was not losing weight. I've heard this from others as well. I'm not going to say I don't get frustrated when this happens, because I do. Then I remind myself my journey is what it is: a journey. I also remember Julie telling us there will be plateaus and plateaus mean our body is healing on the inside.
This is a good thing. I want my body to heal inside and out.
Ah yes, grasshopper, I remind myself, a plateau is part of the journey. Then I get out of my own way and let my journey continue.
It is exactly when I am the most frustrated by a plateau, that if I hang in there just a little while longer, the plateau will end and I will drop another size. The more frustrated I am, the closer I am to a drop in size. I just need to keep working the program and my body will do the rest.
What's great about this program, is that I don't have to think about what I'm doing. I've been doing this program long enough to know what foods to eat and how the program works. I love that I don't have to think about starting or getting back on a diet tomorrow.
It is not about the numbers on the scale or the size you wear. We do care about these things, but we don't get on the scale (it does not effectively measure "success" and the numbers only drive us crazy) and we try not to focus on our size (too much). What's most important is the quality of our lives - inside and out.
There are times when I get frustrated with how slow the weight is coming off. This issue often surfaces for me when I see others losing faster than me or I see others reach their goal size and I'm still not there yet. I can't compare my journey to others and I can't define my success to theirs. When I forget this and I start to wonder why did that person lose so quickly and not me? I'm headed for trouble. There is no right or wrong answer to this question. We do the best we can and we keep going. There is no looking back. There is no comparing my story to yours.
There are however, moments and experiences on our journey that many of us have in common that we can appreciate and celebrate with each other. Here are a handful of milestones others on this journey have expressed:
- I can fit into the airplane seat without my body taking up part of the seat next to me.
- I don't have to ask the stewardess for a seat belt extension.
- I can cross my legs for the first time in years.
- I can see my toes.
- I can zip up a coat that is three sizes smaller than the one I wore when I started this program.
- My doctor is very happy about my health stats.
- Before this program I was on 27 medicines - now I'm only on 6.
- I no longer need to take meds for diabetes.
- I walked around the mall with one of those little pink bags announcing to the world that I had bought something at Victoria's Secrets.
- I ran the Warrior Dash yesterday - 45 years old and I'd never run anything in my entire life.
- I went to my 40th high school reunion and I did not have to focus on how much weight I wanted to lose before the reunion.
- I am not an amazon.
These weight loss milestones and victories, which may not be visible to others, are what keep me on program. That, and I built in success by planning for success; I committed to do whatever it takes. Each time I saw Julie, I signed up to go to a refresher two or three months out. I knew if I didn't need the refresh when they called me, I could push it out another month or more. This is what my refresher schedule looked like:
- 01/27/11 - first session
02/03/11 - second session
02/17/11 - third session - 03/05/11 - refresher - I probably didn't need this so early after my initial three classes, but I was going on vacation and I was freaking out that I wouldn't be able to stay on program. I made the right choice.
- 06/15/11 - refresher
- 10/25/11 - refresher
- 01/14/12 - refresher
- 04/11/12 - refresher
- 12/06/12 - refresher
Here's another more then and now photo. It does us all good to look back like this and see the truth in just how far we have come. It's all too easy to get caught up in how slow we feel the process is going and how much faster we wish it would be. It is what it is.
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| Then and Now |
Earlier posts and comments that talk about losing weight slowly:
- Still Going Strong - by Linda, Feb. 1, 2013
- Key Progress - by Theresa, Nov 19, 2012
- Positive Changes - by Linda, June 20, 2013
- Silence is Golden - by Theresa, Jun 29, 2013
- Be Happy - by Theresa, Jan 25, 2013
- Measuring Success - by Theresa, Jan 14, 2013
Thank you for this supportive and insightful piece (as always) Theresa. I love how "slowly" and deeply you enquire into things.
ReplyDeleteI am also losing "slowly". (although I must say that if a year ago you had told me I would be where I am now I wouldn't have thought that was slow). I began a year ago as a size 16 or so, and am now a 10 on the bottom and waist. My breasts, at 63, after being so stretched out, are not going anywhere, so my size on top has changed, but is not getting much smaller.
Thinking about my timing I realize it is a double-edged sword. Like you I sometimes feel bad when I read about others who have reached maintenance so much more quickly that I have. Or when I am in a plateau for a long time.
And I have realized a few things about this:
1) Comparisons are almost always insidious. I'm not someone else. I have my own path, my own gifts and deficits and that's what I have to work with.
2) More and more I see that I make choices which keep me losing more slowly at this point. I eat more than I need, I eat more fat than I need to eat....if I want to lose more quickly I could change both of those.
So then I have to ask myself, is there some umph missing, some strength of motivation missing in my commitment to reach the next level? And yes, I think there is a difference between the drive I felt initially and what I feel now. I went to one refresher, about 3 months ago, to work with this and although I learned a tremendous amount, it didn't seem to make a difference in this umph.
What I mean by a double edged sword is that although it might be good to feel more driven to get to maintenance, and perhaps I lack some verve about this that some others have, on the other hand, I truly savor and love where I am now.
I'm visiting my oldest friend in Chicago this week. She needed me to come because of some health stuff going of for her and I didn't have to think about whether my health was up to coming and being with her. How amazing! She is very petite - size zero - and walks everywhere, and on my other visits I have not at all been able to keep up with her and we have had to tailor everything to fit my capacities. It was 93 degrees here yesterday and we probably walked about 4 miles. No problem at all. My whole view of distances has altered completely! I also now am able to travel light, with just carry-on luggage, because I'm not afraid that I'm going to feel so bad about my body that I'll need every piece of clothing that could possibly make me feel less awful on a given day.
So, I'm thinking that for me perhaps the fact that I savor the journey so much, makes it feel less critical to "arrive" at a destination. And that may slow me down. And, at some point I may feel it's the right time to put on a full court press and tighten things up .....cut out the dairy, the fat, etc. Right now being more relaxed feels like what I need.
Also, there do seem to be some true gifts of being older. I know that however much weight I lose I am never going to fit cultural stereotypes for perfection. I'm always going to be short. Always going to have saggy bits, going to have some wrinkles, short legs, etc, etc. I also know that "now" is all I have. So I'd better live it fully, as I am at any given point.
Sisters in the Long Run
Eva
Theresa...thx for this post. It helped me. Good reminder that it is useless to compare ourselves to anyone else. Merp/Eva...I enjoyed your post too...yeah!!!!! You could walk everywhere and take less clothing...great measures of success. Theresa you look so feminine and delicate in picture #2 and your poise and smile are beautiful. You look to be half the person you were. Indeed now is all we have and being relaxed is so important. Looks like we have all struggled with self doubt and destructive thoughts at one time or another. Good luck sisters!! ( and Joe Q ... Is he still around?)
ReplyDeleteTo answer the question, "What's different in your life that you couldn't do before losing weight?" I will refer you to this post in my blog about our recent trip to Maine:
ReplyDeletehttp://mymodernhealthblog.blogspot.com/2013/08/90-days-and-few-sizes-later.html
BTW, they called to schedule a refresher for me in September but I'm feeling strong, feeling WELL and still, after nearly 100 days, have yet to cheat on the diet and I'm OK. Physically and emotionally, I'm OK, so I passed on a refresher. There was no pressure to take it, just a recommendation to come in for one when I'm ready to start maintenance. And FYI, nacho lady, it's $100 for the refresher if you go during the day, not $200. Oh, the nerve...
P.S. My wife starts Sept. 11 @ noon. :-)
I think we've all compared ourselves, I did it just the other night. I started at 28/30 and have been doing this for 18 months and feel FANTASTIC. I walk just about every morning for 2 miles and some days it feels like I could walk forever because it feels so good. Those are words that never have come out of my mouth before.
ReplyDeleteHi Joe...so glad your wife is starting...hooooray her!! Looking forward to updates on your mutual success. YAH for your 100 days....keep it up. I did not have a refresher until month 6. Lynn I am glad walking feels so good and am inspired by your 18 months on program.
ReplyDeleteI also was losing slowly. Started in February 2012 and never ever cheated until I went to my first refresher in July 2013. I HAVE BEEN EATING NONSTOP SINCE THEN. I blogged about this previously. Julie mentioned that we would crave sugar at the refresher just as we did originally after the first 3 sessions and to not call the office because it was normal. Well, I never craved sugar originally and I'm so disappointed now. I can't afford to go see her again (and quite frankly, I'm so sorry that I ever went to that refresher since my only concern was perhaps not losing as fast as some of you seem to be doing). But, I had never strayed from my veggies and meat until that refresher and now every day I try to get back on track, but it hasn't worked yet. I'M SOOOOOO DISAPPOINTED....
ReplyDeleteHave you ever had any exposure to meditation? It's a great way to clear out all the extraneous "stuff" and focus on the the important bits. When you can whittle everything down to the sugar and zero in on slapping it away, just 10 minutes of silence and focus on that one thing - and ONLY that one thing will likely let the suggestions flow like they did before.
ReplyDeleteTheresa,
ReplyDeleteGreat post. We sometimes forget that it took us a while to gain the weight, so removing it slowly is really the way to go. The changes in your pictures are so evident. I'm not sure why we all compare ourselves to others, but it's just the way it is sometimes.
You look fabulous. Keep the good work and positive posts.
Thanks everyone for you great words of wisdom and wonderful compliments.
ReplyDeleteI love how we support each other here.
Anonymous, I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time. I don't know what could have caused the sugar cravings after the refresh. Have you tried to tap away the cravings? Meditation, as Joe suggested, is another good idea. This journey is not the same for everyone, but if you keep doing your best and the cravings will go away.
Tap tap.
Theresa, you continue to inspire me. I have been somewhat flip flopping around because of this plateau stage. I have been eating some carbs in form of crackers w/cheese and a breakfast sandwich on Saturdays, but not much of it. Even when I put it in my mouth I made sure to eat very little of it. My reason for that is to break the plateau. I went right back on plan the following day and stayed with it throughout the week. And, I also have to confess that I actually weight myself on Monday. I do plan to cut all this out and offer my free will and sacrifice at this very moment. I will sit down in silence and bring Julie back to my thoughts. That worked for me last December. Theresa, you and the all the good folks from the blog have always been helpful to me. Thank you for that.
ReplyDeleteI'm slammed with overtime at work right now, so haven't been able to get my "bio" to you, but just had to tell you how much this post influenced me. I was getting so discouraged because I didn't "feel" like I was still losing weight- this post helped me a LOT! Thank you
ReplyDeleteThanks Alanna. I look forward to reading your story here and having you become a contributor. Take your time, get through what's happening and we'll hear from you when your deck clears!
DeleteGeez, I am in the same boat as you, Alanna. It's been non-stop work since July and just can't dedicate much time right now. However, I do read a lot of the posts and it helps so much. Always glad to be part of this inspiring group. Oh, by the way, I am fully back on the plan again.
ReplyDeleteDo you find your refreshers helpful? I have not been to one yet and I am just over 1 year into my program. I lost quickly and hit my goal of a size 6. Once I hit my goal I started my first step of maintenence and I gained. Once I gained again, I decided that a 6 was not where I wanted to be and I immediatly went back on program. That was almost 4 months ago and I have not lost the weight I gained from maintenece and I feel like I am stuck. It is very frustrating. I have scheduled a refresher and I am hoping it jump starts me. I have heard that Julie can help you "change" your goal in your head because you stop losing when you reach it. Maybe I am stuck because I hit my original goal, but the weight I put on from potatoes is stuck and I am sad. LOL I am also TERRIFIED of ever starting maintenence again. Any advice? Anything at all? :)
ReplyDeleteAllison, I've always found refresher to be great. I'm scheduled for one the end of this month and am looking forward to it. I haven't been since last Dec.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to point out your comment to a couple of contributors who are on maintenance and see if they can give you more insight from their experience.
Hi Allison – Yes, I have always gotten a lot out of refreshers. When I first started (over 2 years ago), I signed up for one every three months. I just wanted to make sure the message was deeply planted. It was at my first one that I learned I could change my goal size, so you know I did! I too lost quickly (from a 14/16 to a 6 in 6 months), but I didn’t start maintenance right away. I stayed in the river for probably six months before putting that tasteless potato in my mouth! I have gone through the entire “adding things back” steps, although I live mostly in the river. And although I now wear 4/6 (and even a size zero from Chico’s!!!!), I do think my body has filled in somewhat from that “losing weight” look. I don’t think I look as thin as I did before, but that might be because I’m used to looking this way now.
ReplyDeleteI am also going to another refresher the end of this month, because I need to know what happens now. My concern is that it seems to be too easy to get out of the river and eat something starchy. Because the program is planned in stages, (the river stage, then the adding back in stage), I feel a little out of control when I just randomly eat starch; feels like it should be planned. I also intend to ask if I can drop another size even though I’ve gone this far on maintenance; mostly because I’m curious if it can be done by just going back into the river and staying there, or if she has to plant it in my head first.
The nice thing about refreshers is that in the beginning Julie will ask who has been following the program exactly without “cheating”, and if you have, you get to share your concerns with her. It’s like having a one-on-one with her! That’s where you can ask her about changing your goal size and tell her what happened with your attempt with maintenance. In my opinion, you made a smart choice booking a refresher! When are you going?
You mentioned that you gained from eating potato and haven’t been able to lose it again. I’m wondering how long it took you to gain and did you actually go up a size or are your 6’s just fitting differently? Maybe, (and this is just my own thinking), the reason you are nervous about maintenance is because you are not truly at your goal size. The mind is a powerful thing, and your subconscious is battling your conscious right now. So relax and go tell Julie you want to be smaller, and keep visualizing buying (and fitting into) size 4 clothes. It’s important to always show our minds what we want it to do!
Good luck!
Thanks for the feedback, I appreciate it. I am going on Spet 30 at 6. I did actually go up a size with my first round of maintenence and it seemed to happen rather quickly.My 6's are in the back of the closet for now. I am hoping Julie can change my goal. I have also started working out to see if that helps me shed some more. I did a 30 day AB challenge and noticed results after the first 12 days. I know it is partly because of what I am eating (and not eating LOL) that I saw results so quickly. I know I am just not satisfied and I want more! I am sure my negative head space about it all and feeling like I am NEVER going to get there is not helping so hopefully Julie can come to the rescue!!
ReplyDelete