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| Reality vs Perception. Photo source. |
I started on Julie's program back in March.. and found your blog not long after.. I look forward to reading each post as I always find a little something to keep me inspired.
I finally broke down yesterday and took myself shopping for a few pairs of shorts in a smaller size. When I first started this program I kept thinking how great it would be to walk into a store, head to the racks and pick out what ever I wanted knowing that it would fit perfectly!
I found 2 pairs of shorts after about 4 hours of searching. At one point, I wanted to cry, as I realized it was just as difficult to find smaller sizes as it was to find larger ones.Ellen asks a great questions.
Now I am thinking that this has as much to do with our perception of our bodies as it does the reality.
Has anyone else experienced this? How do you get the head to match the mirror?
Back in January, I wrote a piece about Measuring Success and I promised I would measure once a month. Six months have passed and I haven't take any more measurements. I've taken a lot of photos, but I'm too critical when I see them. "Oh no--too many wrinkles" I think to myself. Or, "OMG - look at my belly!"
See, there's that mean voice again. Have I forgotten how far I've come? I think so.
I went shopping yesterday. I had been in the store a few days earlier and I wouldn't try anything on that had an X in front of the size. No surprise, nothing I tried on fit. Yesterday, as I entered the store I told my friend "Just so you know, I'm going to try on clothes, but I may not drop a dime." Even when I said it I thought it was a weird thing to say. I'm not sure if I was more afraid I would find a ton of clothes that fit or that nothing would fit at all.
This time I tried on many different sizes. I didn't find anything that fit right, but I only tried on items that were on sale. Had I gone for the non-summer clothes, I may have had better luck. It was an expensive store and I'm not ready to spend that kind of money on clothes just yet. I left optimistic that I will be back next year and I will have a lot more options then.
I've resolved that I will see the rest of summer through with the clothes I have. Fall and winter wardrobes will be upon us soon enough and I will look for new clothes for those seasons.
Meanwhile, I'll work on my perception - focus on embracing the reality of my size rather than my perception. Some days I feel thin and other days - not so much. But the reality is this is how people feel in all sizes.
In fact, I did a Google search and here's a few articles:
- How to Change Your Perception of Your Body
- Change Your Story, Change Your Life
- Self Love -The Great Shortcut to Enlightenment
Have you seen the video on FB done by Ivory Soap? It has about 4 women sit behind a curtain and has a police sketch artist draw them as they describe themselves. Then, a second person comes in and describes the same woman. Each person's drawings were pretty much the same. The person who described themselves, emphasized the negative, while the other person who just met them, had a more realistic account of what that person looks like.
ReplyDeleteThe video is so telling and pretty emotional. We tend to see only the negatives. Wrinkles, lines, chubby cheeks, chin, etc... Why do we do this to ourselves?
What we should do is this. Go to the store, try on your old size pants/shorts, then a size or two smaller. Each week/month you go into the store will be very telling as to where you are headed. Be POSITIVE, embrace the changes...... Maybe now, you're in smaller shorts, but have a bit of spillage over the waste band... Hey, at least you can get INTO the smaller size.
We need to laugh at ourselves, feel confident and know that we are headed in the right direction.
Be strong and love yourself!!
Jane you are so right. I started at size 24 pants....yesterday I bought size 18 jeans at Walmart for "later" because I am now wearing size 20 jeans and pants...to see how far I still have to go....the size 18 fit!! I was so surprised. Even tried on size 16 capri jean and they went on!!! (though too tight in tummy). I will get there. Accepting the reality of my weight loss and smaller body is a daily battle. When I was seated later in the day in new jeans I looked down at my thighs and did not recognize them....they were so narrow all the way from knee to hip...truly a strange feeling.
DeleteIt's great to feel and see the changes. I had to work this morning out in the Berkshires and stopped into the Lee outlets. I left with 2 pairs of pants, and 2 sweaters.
ReplyDeleteThese will be my next size down, and hope to had back out there n a few months to drop into another size. Thankfully, we have these fantastic outlet stores where we can get clothes at deep discounts. Because I plan on moving my size down each month.
Linda, how long have you been following Key Hypnosis? Your progress is encouraging to me. :)
Thank you Jane I appreciate that comment very much!!!
ReplyDeleteOn OCtober 24th it will be 2 years.
I have never in my adult life had so much success and been so close to my goal!!! I feel great! I am so happy!!!
send me an email if you would like!! I would love to know where you have started from and how things are going for you!!! We all need support and connections so if you want, I am here!!!
Thank you again for the compliment!
click on my name and my email should pull up!!
Hi Jane...Not sure which Linda you were asking...I have been on program 8 months. Good luck to you on your journey...we are all here for you.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for this post. This has been the part that I am struggling with. I have been on the program since January and went from a tight 16/18 to 8/10. Problem is that when I look in the mirror I still see the fat person from January.
ReplyDeleteI know that there is no way this can be, but I cannot escape the image. Everyone is commenting how I am becoming the "disappearing woman" but I still cannot see it.
I look forward to looking at these links you provided. Hopefully I can change the poor self image and start to see the skinny person everyone says is there.
Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your incredible success! Embrace the changes in your body. You must see yourself as you are today or you risk going back to the heavier size. Have someone take photos for you. Really look at yourself in the mirror. See who you have become and love and embrace her. Own it!
You can find a million online articles and videos on this topic. Explore this for yourself. Use the key words "improve self esteem" in Google to find articles or in YouTube to find videos. I'll add a few more links to the post above.
Your journey has taken you from exactly where I am to where I want to go in size. You inspire me that I too will get there.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and best to you in your journey ahead.
ooops, wrong Linda!!! LOL!!
ReplyDeleteDear Anonymous...I agree with Theresa. The only thing I really believe is photographs. Try putting your old pics next to your new ones. For me, I accept the changes in stages a little at a time. Ex....I finally "know" and believe my face and neck are smaller and my thighs are much slimmer. I think my mind is only gradually letting me "get" that wt loss is actually occurring. Perhaps time will help you too...good luck.
ReplyDeleteDear Anonymous...I agree with Theresa. The only thing I really believe is photographs. Try putting your old pics next to your new ones. For me, I accept the changes in stages a little at a time. Ex....I finally "know" and believe my face and neck are smaller and my thighs are much slimmer. I think my mind is only gradually letting me "get" that wt loss is actually occurring. Perhaps time will help you too...good luck.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe someone has the same issue as I have. I started last June at a size 24 and got down to a size 10 this past June. I'm now trying to just maintain my current weight. Unfortunately when I look in the mirror all I can see is how fat I still am. Logically I know that I can't be as large as I think I still am, but I can't see it. I started maintenance because I had so many people tell me that I was getting to be too thin and that I needed to stop losing weight. I wonder how long it'll be before I can look in the mirror and be happy with what I see?
ReplyDeleteI don't know the answer to your excellent question. Perhaps it will take a few more months for your mind to catch up with your body. I do know that brain "programming" is quite tenacious and "automatic negative thoughts" ("ANTs" per Dr. Amen who writes about healthy brains) happen to all of us...especially those with trauma history and/or Body Dysmorphic Disorder. There was an earlier post about self-esteem resources you may wish to explore. Cognitive therapy is an option. Short of that, I suggest you try the following exercise a few times a week: in a pretty journal or basic notebook, write down all the icky and negative things you think about yourself still being "fat" until you have spilled it all. NOW write a letter to yourself as if you were a friend responding to what you just wrote. Say the kind of supportive, fact-based things you would say to a friend who had just written that stuff. Address it "dear (your name)"....and go on. Now read it aloud. Isn't that nicer? More realistic? If you do this enough, you can teach your brain new "tapes" that are positive and loving and healthy.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous Linda's idea is a good one and I encourage you to do this. Keep in mind your English teacher is not grading you - this writing is for your eyes only!
ReplyDeleteAnother writing process is to draw a line down the middle of a page and write all the negative things you think about yourself in one column and in the other column write statements that are the exact opposite. Fold the paper in the middle and read the positive side to yourself daily. Believe the positive statements and let go of the negative.