Friend of Julie: Tap Tap

There was a recent comment asking what I meant by tapping, that she didn't remember. So, I thought I'd tell what tapping means to me by sharing a story.

Oh, and I got a new haircut too.

Up until yesterday, I would have answered this question in a different way. It was more of a metaphor to me, not something I paid attention to; it just worked independently of my thinking about it. In my mind, I always had a visual of Julie talking about cravings as one of her hands came closer and closer to her face and as she talked about tapping those thoughts away she pushed the same hand back with her other hand.

Yesterday I had lunch with my key friend Karen at Red Robin and then we went Crate & Barrel and then Target; we know how to live it up. It was a fun visit with some good laughs. After saying good-bye, I decided to go back to the mall and hang out for another hour and then go to a movie nearby. That's when it started.

Tap tap.

I tried on a short white skirt at Macy's - boom - it fit! I've been wanting to buy a cute summer skirt for a couple of months and I was elated to zip into a size 16. I decided since summer is nearly over, not to buy the skirt, but I left the store very happy.

Tap tap.

I haven't hung out at the mall since high school and I quickly remembered why: it's not as much fun shopping alone. Karen and I laughed out loud a lot. It's not a good idea to laugh out loud at the mall when you're alone, so I hung out at the Mac store and drooled over 27" Macs.

Tap tap.

The food court and bakery smells were driving me crazy! Now I remember why I don't hang out at the mall. Starbucks Misto (hot coffee with foamy milk) to the rescue.

Tap tap.

When I arrived at the theater, I learned the movie wouldn't start for another hour. My 2:50 movie was playing in Hadley - not West Springfield. Now what? The theater foods are making me hungry. I'm not hungry. I can't be hungry. I ate a monster bacon cheeseburger with an egg on top only an hour ago .

Tap tap. This will pass. Tap, tap. This will pass.

I haven't had urges like this in a long long time! I haven't eaten anything that would bring on this kind of craving, so I could not figure out what was going on. I ended up walking over to CVS and buying some beef jerky and seltzer to quiet down the beast. Once the movie previews started I was fine.

When I got home, I talked with another key friend about my cravings and what she said made a lot of sense "white skirt fits + crazy craving = drop! I bet a food dream and a drop (in weight) are heading your way!"

Now that I think about this, foods started catching my attention earlier this week; I've been chanting tap tap all week (in my head). First it was something in the coffee shop behind glass. A few days ago I looked at every item on the grocery belt ahead of me and I realized that was exactly what my shopping cart used to look like: a box from the bakery, two candy bars, and a hot food item. Tap tap. 

I feel like things are changing inside me. I never had these crazy cravings before. Hunger yes, but not cravings. Perhaps those weren't cravings but hunger. Yup, sounds like hunger to me. 

I started today having a breakfast with eggs, bacon, sausage, and ham. I couldn't eat it all, but I was like "okay hunger - bring it on!"

Tapping is no longer a metaphor for me. It's an internal chant that keeps me alert and helps me not give in to food cravings. It sounds a lot like a heart beat. In fact, it felt like my heart pounding very loudly. It felt like a healthy heart gently reminding me tap, tap it away. This is a test. 

 And I passed the test.