Friend of Julie: Always on My Mind

I've been singing a song every summer for the past three years. I'm still working on the lyrics, but it definitely has a country-western twang, and it goes something like this . . .

Ukulele photo by Theresa

Tell me
Why am I wearing last summers clothes? 
Maybe I didn't wear them as often as I could have
And maybe I'm not as thin as I could have

Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time 
Girl, I'm sorry I was blind
But they were always on my mind
These clothes are always on my mind

(end of song)

I can see in my clothes that I've lost weight in the past few months. My clothes are looser, but I can't fit into a handful of size 16 carpis someone recently gave me and it frustrates me. A friend pointed out that perhaps those pants may not be a good fit for me and that once I can zip them up - they may be too big everywhere else. This made sense, so I went looking for visual evidence to see my loss in other ways.

First, I went looking for photos of me in the same outfit last summer and this summer, hence the photos below. Although these are not full body photos, the difference in my face and chin is quite visible. When I wear the dress in these photos, I feel the difference in how it fits from last summer. It was never tight, but it certainly has a whole lot more room than it did last year.

Left: July 2012 Right: July 2013

Next up: go on a shopping spree to update my wardrobe. I have a closet full of tops, but I don't have enough pants or dresses. My goal was 1) see if I could fit into size 16 pants or dresses and 2) regardless of size - buy a pair of black pants or capris.

Hold on...a girl has to eat first before hitting the stores, so I  first stopped to have a late lunch (3pm) at Outback, where I enjoyed a wonderful meal. This is one of those times when one has to leave food on the plate. As large as the steak was, I needed to be mindful of eating bite-for-bite meat and veggies. 

Outback Steakhouse

At Dress Barn I tried on a size 12 black and white empire dress. What a riot. I skipped right over the 16'a and even the 14's. I'm so determined to be a 12. It had a side zipper, so I slid the dress on, but it wouldn't zip up over my hips. The top and thighs were a perfect fit, but there was no way the zipper would go up over my hips. Okay, so I'm not a 12 yet. I took a photo and moved on to other outfits.

This size 12 dress fit, but I couldn't zip it over my hips!

I tried on a skirt and blouse that I had considered buying a few months ago - a blue and white top with a knee length white skirt, both size XL. The outfit looked great in April and I was hoping a sale would make it worthwhile to buy now. Both pieces were only in an XL and neither were on sale. But guess what? It didn't matter - they were both too big! Yeah! Evidence found. Nothing else in Dress Barn fit me right, so I moved on to Macy's.

At Macy's, I headed to the larger woman's clothing area thinking this time of year I may find bargains here in the smallest of their large sizes. I tried on a beautiful black skirt with a top I wore into the store. The skirt fit nicely, but it had an elastic waist and the skirt flared out in a way that visually added pounds. It felt nice, but who wants to look heavier. Snap another photo and move on.

Back skirt with top I wore into the store. Not sure what size this was.

Moving on the Avenue for pants...no luck. Of course I tried on a few 14's, but they didn't work at all. The size 16 pants I tired on fit and looked nice, but were uncomfortable when I walked. They made a "swoosh" sound and the legs bagged up. No thanks.

Size 16 capris from Macy's

The clothing in specialty stores for large women don't work for me anymore. This is something to cheer about, because it's official now: no more large women's stores for me. There's no looking back.

I meandered into Macy's regular women's section, which is hard to identify because they have so many sections  for women. After trying on a size 14 skirt (ha, I'm so determined) and a few other items with no luck until I found a pair of size 16 white pants. They were really expensive and marked down quite nicely too. They fit beautifully.

My new "black" pants in size 16.

I deemed these my new "black" pants, because that's what I really wanted, but the truth is, I wanted a pair of size 16 pants in ANY color. These are longer than my other capris, they feel wonderful, and the front pockets are nice and flat. My capris all have pockets that take up too much room, the pocket fabric is too thick, whereas the pockets on these pants don't show under my blouse.

I had a successful shopping spree, despite the fact that I only bought one item. I realize I need to just get out of my own way. Here's where I stand today, I'm going to:

• live with the clothing I have for the rest of the season 
• stop fixating on what I don't have and enjoy what I have
• remember that all these clothes WILL be too big for me next summer
• remember that I have dropped weight and the rest of my body (hips in particular) will follow in their own time
• keep following program and the weight will come off

What's happening in your wardrobe? Have any of you had these kinds of wardrobe malfunctions? How are you moving past what size you want to be and focusing on the more important things in life than what size you are?