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| At our goal size, will we still ask "do I look fat in this photo?" |
This sounded familiar to me. I have said this about my weight loss journey. I have often thought "I just want to be done" with the weight loss and be at my goal size. "How long is this going to take?" I wondered and sighed, "I just want to be at my goal size." It will take as long as it takes and spending time on these thoughts doesn't change anything. I tap away these kinds of thoughts, which, if one isn't careful, can become an obsession. When these thoughts arise again, I remind myself this is part of my journey and I tap them away.
What if we treat the maintenance phase of our journey the same way? What if we accept the urge to rush through a phase, be it the weight loss or maintenance phase, as part of our process. What if we tap away those thoughts to rush through this phase?
Questions, doubts, fears - these were part of the journey even before you arrived to where you are today. Why should this be any different now? I imagine maintenance to be the final frontier. The final phase of self-doubt. The phase where we (get to) let go of our self-doubt and negative thoughts. The phase where we learn what once and done really means.
Learning maintenance will take as long as it takes, just as taking the weight off did: at various time frames for everyone. Visualize this to be your truth: you will learn maintenance and one day you will own it.
A day will come for each of us when we will say "I got this" and our doubts, our fears, and our obsessions (which we all have to work out for ourselves) will be behind us. Trust the process that this too will be your truth.
If we trust this process, we only have to do this once and then we're done. If you are at maintenance, you have done everything you learned, you have reached your goal size, so trust the process that you will learn how to maintain your goal size--in the same way you learned to take off your weight. If you are in the weight loss phase, trust that you too will reach your goal.
Julie suggests we visualize ourselves at our goal size - this is part of the process. Apply the same to maintenance: visualize yourself maintaining your goal size for the rest of you life. Visualize: once and done.
Trust the process.
You may not want to post this, but I just wanted to get this off my chest. I just finished my 20th month on Julie's program. I know everyone is different, but after seeing the success stories recently posted (even though I thrilled for them) I realize that I in no way have lost as much as those featured. I always followed Julie's program 100%, exercised and even went to 2 refreshers (not that I was having any difficulty, but after hearing about everyone going all the time, I didn't want to miss out on any new info she might impart). However, reading about all this success has now caused me to go off of program after all this time. I just felt that if I was doing all that I could (and believe me, I'm down a few sizes, but nothing like I keep reading about) -- I Give Up. I'm done -- I'm out... Continued success to you all, but I'm not doing it any more...
ReplyDeleteHi Miss Alyce-Chris and Theresa are provding you good insight into this program......I don't have much to add except that it is tough to hear that our success has made you decide to step away. That by no means was ever any of our intentions. Please reconsider calling Julie's office and asking for another refresher with the intentions of looking into Julie's eyes and saying exactly what you have said here. She has many times helped people unlayer what was causing a roadblock (or in this instance your feeling of total hopelessness)and she wants you to succeed!!!! Whatever your decision, understand that you are not alone, we are all here for each other-the good and the bad, and no matter what you are loved no matter what you decide. I hope you find your answers soon! Good luck to you-Many many hugs.......
DeleteAlyce, I'm sorry to hear you've decided not to do this program anymore. I related to your frustration with having slower weight loss than others, as I too have lost much slower than those featured in these stories. Last summer I moved into 18's and it's frustrating that those clothes aren't falling off me this summer. But the summer before that I was in size 24's and the summer before that 30/32's.
ReplyDeleteIf I were sitting where you are, ready to go off, I would go to one more refresh and give it one last try. Perhaps you already did this and, as you said, your decision is final. I hope others will chime in here with stronger words of wisdom than I have at the moment.
Hi Alyce, I too am sorry that you are feeling defeated and are thinking of quitting. First, I would like to thank you for making me aware of the damage posting information like that can do. I know I'm guilty of doing it; I never stopped to think what affect it might have on anyone else's journey. It will no longer be part of my story, because I now realize it's not revelant.
ReplyDeleteAs I read your post, I thought just the fact that you went to some refreshers, because you didn't want to miss something, told me that you really want to be successful on this program. I, too, want you to achieve your goal! I am a two-time Julie follower - the first time I started seeing her was back in 2005. It didn't work because I truly wasn't ready. After many hard years and lots of weight gain later, I went back in May, 2011. The years inbetween were torture with no success, no matter what program I tried. This weight loss thing is not easy and it's not just about the food either.
Please don't turn your back on this program just yet, Would you consider FB friending me so we can chat? I would really like to offer my support!
Whatever you decide, I wish you peace, love, & good health. Chris Laferriere Rapose
Theresa,great post! Trusting the process through the end is what messed me up years ago. I thought I had it in the bag! Today, there is no question, I'm in it for life. Thanks for all your wonderful words or wisdom.
ReplyDeleteHi Alyce,
ReplyDeleteOf course this would make you feel disappointed and desperate!
I am another "slow loser" compared to some of the race car driver losers. And I know how it can feel to read those accounts. Comparisons are almost always destructive. So when I find myself doing that I remember that I'm going to be doing this for the rest of my life, and that this is the most effective program I have ever been on. Who knows why some bodies react differently than others. It sucks, but is the reality, and even if it's slower for some of us, we still get there!
It sounds as if you have been moving in the right direction. Is it the comparisons to others that are making you feel frustrated or the reality of how much you have lost? Are there other programs that have been more effective for you in the past?
I was wondering if you would want to share a bit more information about where you began and where you are now, so that maybe we could be more helpful?
Also, I don't know if Julie ever meets with people individually, but it seems, given all of the really hard work you have put into this, into yourself, that it would be sad for you to walk away without giving the office a call, telling them what is going on, and asking if you could do a consult with Julie. You've done your side of things...it's okay to ask for help.
I'm really glad that you wrote! And hope that maybe we can find a way to support you.
Eva
Hello Ayce,
ReplyDeleteWell, here is yet another slow loser, but it's coming off. So far I only dropped one size, from a 16 to a (lose) 14, but that's been going on for almost 7 months now. I committed with this plan because it fits nicely in my daily schedules, etc. and it is very user friendly, don't you think. The best part for me is that I am never hungry. I like a good juicy steak with grilled veggies, or bacon and eggs with V8 juice.
I honestly think that Julie can help you if you tell her about your slow weight loss. She wants us to succeed and she can tweak it that it works better for you. I hope you give it another shot and let us know how you're doing. We all want you to be successful.
Alyce, I too have lost very slowly. In fact, I just went off the program this week (after being perfect for almost 18 months). I was going to go to a refresher, but seem to recall someone saying that if you eat anything sweet that you have to start all over again. I don't have the $600 for 3 sessions. Has anyone gone for one refresher and then been able to get right back on program. I had some ice cream, but then resumed my usual program. Should I go for the refresher -- would it help or am I now doomed.
ReplyDeleteNo Maureen, you are not doomed and you don't have go through the full 3 sessions again. While we should not think we can go off-program anytime we want and go to a refresh for Julie to "fix us," the idea behind a refresh is to "refresh" our programming.
ReplyDeleteBefore you pick up the phone, think about what you learned in those 3 classes and apply what you know today - this moment - not "tomorrow" - now.
At a refresh you'll be reminded of what you already know: get back into the river NOW, and, just like when you started, you will have three hard days. You'll learn more than this, but these two things are essential.
I'm not saying don't do a "refresh" (although I am suggesting you don't need to do the 3 initial classes again), I am encouraging you to get back on program on your own by applying what you learned.
Give yourself a set amount of time to "fix" yourself before going in for a refresh. Learning to own your program is part of the process. When you go off program, get back on as soon as possible.
If all else fails, call for a refresher. You may even wan to call now and get on the wait list, as it takes a while to get in. When they call, you can decide if you still need the refresh or not. You can ask them to call you in another month if you feel you're doing good and decide then if you still need a refresher. If you are able to get yourself back on program, you may go to the refresh anyhow, to help you stay on program. It feels good being in a refresher and being able to say "yes, I'm on program."
I went to refreshers to reinforce what I learned, to keep the program strong inside me. Starting at a size 30/32, I knew this journey was going to take me a while and I wanted to be as successful as possible.
You can do this!
Thank you so much for responding. I have never gone to a refresher before, but I did call and was able to make one in 2 weeks. The only problem I have now is that part of me wants to stick with the program and part of me wants to enjoy a few things before I go back. I know that's the old "stickin thinkin", but Chinese food seems to be calling me. You would think that after being "perfect" for nearly 18 mmonths that I would have a handle on this, but I see now that the old habits just come streaming back. HELP!!!
DeleteRight now is the best time to get back into the river. Don't wait until you see Julie. You can do a lot of damage to yourself in 2 weeks.
DeleteTap away those urges.
This is the program - learning to push away these kinds of thoughts ("stickin thinkin").
If you "enjoy a few things" you are back on that horrible thing called a DIET, which is and endless circle of starting and stopping.
This isn't a "free pass" - it's a test.
The big question is: do you want to change your life forever (once and done) or do you want to be on the diet merry-go-round the rest of your life?
Get back in the river right this moment!
Sound advice Theresa!
ReplyDeleteWould someone be kind enough to explain the refresher process. When I went to Julie's classes, I thought she said that you received more individual attention at the refreshers and she "gave you exactly what you need"; however, in reading some posts, someone said that it was much like the orginal classes, in that you only got to ask a question at the end of the session. If that is the case, how does she know what you need. Also, Jennifer told Alyce to look into Julie's eyes and tell her exactly how she was feeling. I do recall that when I initially saw Julie that we only got to ask one question at the end, and even at that time since some people were a little long winded she kind of rushed thae last few people thru. I know she can be somewhat intimadating and I certainly don't want to upset her in any way, but I think I could benefit from a refresher -- just like to know what the current procedure is as I also recall someone saying that she does tweak and change her way of doing things from time to time. So, if anyone has gone to a refresher recently, I would be very much interested in knowing what to expect. I called the office and was told that she changes it up so they weren't exactly too much help. Any info would certainly be helpful.
ReplyDeleteIf you're feeling an urge to go for a refresh - you should go. A refresh class is to help you reach your goal size and to maintain that for the rest of your life.
ReplyDeleteI go to a refresh when I feel I need help reinforcing what I learned and to learn more. For me, a "refresh" is getting re-programmed. I went to a refresh when I wanted to strengthen my program. I didn't go because I went off program, but because I wanted to be reminded of all the things I learned in the first three classes.
Over the time I've seen Julie, she had changed the class format and the changes have always been great. I always left feeling stronger on my path and more confident that I know what I'm doing, that I am going to reach my goal size, and that I will maintain my goal size for the rest of my life.
Don't get caught up in needing to know all the details of what to expect. If you knew what to expect, then there really wouldn't be a reason to go.
I haven't been off program. I only wanted to know if you get to say anything to Julie "BEFORE" she begins. I may have misinterpreted what Jennifer had stated. Sorry -- didn't need to be chastised - was only looking for a little info...
ReplyDeleteRita, the last couple of refreshers I attended Julie went around the room asking those who were staying true to her program to speak. At the end, she went around the room asking if anyone had questions. Some people had several questions and she answered them. I've sat in refresher after refresher listening to people who want to "be fixed", mostly because they picked up sugar. I can only imagine this must frustrate her.
ReplyDeleteI have been doing this program faithfully for two years now. In the first year, I went to refreshers every three months! I wanted to make sure I got it. I've never been disappointed in doing it that way. I love refreshers - to me it's just reinforcing the basic principles. I believe if you to go to one and can raise your hand when she asks "who is doing this with no problems", she will make it worth your while!
Good luck!!
Thank you very much Chris. That's exactly the info I was looking for. Now I know that I will be able to speak with her before the hynosis part begins. Thanks again...
DeleteIf you go to a refresher, is Julie able to "entice" you to exercise more? I seem to be lacking motivation in that regard even though I am on the program and have lost weight. Would a refresher help me?
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, Julie cannot get you off the couch and move (exercise), but she can make you enjoy it when you do!! And you don't need a refresher for that because she put the suggestion in your head already.
ReplyDeleteYes - this is so true. Julie said she give an exercise suggestion at every session. She also said Julie can't make us do something we don't want to do. The first step is to visualize yourself making exercise a part of your life. The second step is making that your reality.
ReplyDeleteCan someone tell me what "getting back in the river" means? I don't remember being told this. My 3rd session is next week. Thanks,
ReplyDeleteRoseann