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| I wore that pink shirt today and wow - what a difference! |
I've been measuring my path against others who are at their goal size and wondering why I'm not there yet. Oh yeah... today I am the size many of my key friends were when they started but a few moments ago (or 2 1/2 years ago), I was a size 30/32. Today I am a 16/18. I should be celebrating my size 16/18, not agonizing over it! But I've become accustomed to my new size and I've forgotten that I started a lot bigger than I am today.
I was looking at others progress and crying "boohoo - how come I haven't lost that much?" I was feeling sorry for myself because last summer's clothes still fit, "boohoo - how come they aren't falling off me yet?" Well, last summer they were skin tight and this summer they are quite loose. All my thoughts were on focusing my energy in the wrong area. I needed to focus my energies on where I am and visualize where I want to be. That visualization will inspire me to reach my goal, not to serve as a noose around my neck.
It seems like I've been in a 16/18 for a very long time. I looked back at my earlier posts and guess what - I have been this size for a very long time because clothing sizes are way out of whack. I wrote in Nov. 2011 that I was a size 20W, which would mean I've only dropped 2 sizes in a year and a half. The clothes I wore in Nov. 2011 are long gone because they were way too big for me. My body has changed drastically, even if the size on my clothes reads the same.
Things started to turn around for me when I realized there are many lessons on this journey for me to learn; living in the moment is a big lesson. You see, there will come a time, when I am in my size 10's and I'll want to be somewhere else - in my size 8's. Once I'm there learning how to maintain my weight I'll wish I was beyond that lesson, I'll wish I already knew how to maintain my weight, that I wouldn't have to go through the up and down in my size 8 process.
I tried to talk to others about these thoughts and they gave me incredible positive feedback about my success. I wasn't looking for that. I wanted to express what I was experiencing, but I wasn't finding anyone could relate. So, I express myself here in the hope that this makes sense to you.
I started working through this issue a couple weeks ago, and I started writing this piece last week, but the deal breaker for me, the transformational moment, happened tonight when I put these photos from 2006 to yesterday side by side.
Today I choose to live in the present moment and in this moment, according to my clothing labels, I am a size 16/18. Today I choose to give up comparing my journey to how others are doing on their journey.
Do what it takes to get out of your own way on this journey. Do whatever it takes to reach your goal!
LOVE LOVE this post Theresa!! VERY timely!!
ReplyDeleteWe cannot NOR should we measure our individual successes to others. We are all unique and made differently. I am a VERY slow looser also. I need to remember where I came from. Age, how much there was/is to loose, how long we have been overweight, and SO many other things factor into our blue and red Legos as Julie talked about.
We are also human and it is human nature to do the comparison thing. When that starts, it is time to step back, and evaluate where you were a year ago, 2 years ago and so on. Dwell on the positive aspect of your journey, where you came from, where you are today! Dwell on how behaviors have changed, food thinking has changed. We concentrate so much on the loosing part that we forget we are not bingeing anymore, or eating in the closet anymore or eating a whole meal before the meal is even done anymore! So many changes we forget about!!
I LOVE your hero series!! Gives me hope that I WILL make it. I KNOW I am a slow looser, YES I want to be at goal yesterday, BUT I am closer than I have ever been in my adult life to getting there. PLUS I am NOT suffering trying to do it!! Keep that Hero series going!!! I LOVE ALL the info given on it!! and I love their individual time frames!! Someday when my story is told, my time frame will be on there to show others that everyone looses differently and it is OK!!
LOVE your final lines on your post, "DO WHAT IT TAKES TO GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY ON THIS JOURNEY! DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO REACH YOUR GOAL!" well said Theresa!! Thank you!!!
Living in the moment – powerful reminder! I’ve spent most of my life either in the past or in the future, and so little enjoying the present moment. It goes way back to when I was a teen, and would scan the Sears & JCPenny catalogs, daydreaming of all the beautiful things I would have one day. At one point in my life, living in the future was a survival tactic, and totally necessary. Today, that is different. I no longer spend endless amounts of time in the “when I lose the weight” future. I have been at my goal size for over a year and a half, thankfully. However! I do, easily and often, live in the “when I’m finally done with maintenance” future. Being present for what life has to offer on a daily basis is no easy task.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the reminder, Theresa. Today’s goal: Breathe deeply and enjoy today!
What a remarkable journey you are on! Thank you for sharing it with us on this blog.
I shared this post with a friend I've known since 1960 and here's her response:
ReplyDeleteOn wishing you were somewhere/some one/some size different than what you are:
I look in the mirror and fee very discouraged at times. My weight is like a springboard and hasn't been DOWN in a long time (sigh). I feel like a failure because I can't seem to getrid of the excess. I feel like I have lost hope.
Today I opened a book titled "Calling" and it is about listening to you inner voice so that you find your way to your authentic self.
One quote- I'm paraphrasing I loved was that HOPE is not about obtaining that perfect goal, it is about knowing for certain that what you are doing is right for you.
Despite whether you are down several sizes or not, you know that what you are doing is right. Just look at the VITALITY and positive energy you have obtained. That is priceless. The weight is just a bonus.
Another quote "Lasting happiness starts with one question: what can I celebrate?"
TIME TO CELEBRATE, MY FRIEND!!
I sent this post to my friend whom I visited in Italy and just returned from her teaching and travels. Her response was so spot-on that I'm sharing it:
ReplyDeleteThis piece which feels, to me, so honest. We do so often get discouraged in our journeys and we have to remind ourselves of our successes and remember to keep our eyes on the prize. Think of it like attending college. Sure, lots of folks finished school before you... and perhaps even the people who started the same time as you finished sooner. And some semesters are better and easier than others- our grades higher, the work more fluid and easy to learn. It seems like a long process when you are in it, and like so many sacrifices have to be made. And they do. And you make them because the final goal is what is important to you- more important than being able to buy a new car and eat that big piece of cheesecake. And so all you can do is live in the moment- get through that paper, study for that final, finish one semester and then the next, until one day, you’re standing there with that Master’s Degree in your hand thinking “WOW! I did it!” You can’t waste time in the middle of it going “Boo hoo, I haven’t graduated yet!” Because the important thing is that you’re there- focused- and intent upon the reward that you know awaits you at the end- a better life, deeper satisfaction, greater physical and mental health, stronger self-confidence and self- esteem. So you are right. Get into the moment and ENJOY every minute of it because it is your WONDERFUL life and you ARE on the right road and heading in the right direction.
Consider this. Yesterday I spoke with Jane. She weights 77 pounds now. She has to walk with a walker. She fell last week and broke a rib. Her MS and the complications from the chemo she did to fight her breast cancer have essentially made her disabled and she is barely 60 years old. She is having a hard time coming to terms with her own self-image; she is no longer the buff massage therapist she once was. But she is still Jane, regardless of her body’s strengths or weaknesses. She is trying to focus on that.
Think of what a blessing it is to have a healthy body. Appreciate it. Use it. It is a gift.