OK, so I have been having fun buying new clothes, skirts, shirts, shoes, bras and undies. Who wouldn't, new sizes in totally uncharted waters here.

The only new thing I haven't bought was a new black slip. Didn't need one. I don't wear it to often, it has always been to tight and now that it is loosening up my lined black Sunday skirt holds it up. Right?

WRONG!!!!

This past Sunday I wore my lined black skirt. It has a slit up the side that is to high to wear knee highs with. So out come the pantyhose, see my post The Pantyhose Dance, (which is a story in itself). If I wear my black slip, then I can wear my knee highs.

It was hot Sunday and I didn't want to wear pantyhose, so out came the slip. Put it on and noticed it was loose. But no big deal.

Made through the morning service, lunch and the afternoon service. Time to go home...

Walked out of the assembly into the fellowship hall which was becoming VERY crowded with people.

When LO and BEHOLD something felt funny.

I bet you know where I am going with this!!!!

MY SLIP FELL OFF IN CHURCH RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FELLOWSHIP HALL!!!

Yup, surrounded by people, it is around my ankles.

I, what I thought was discreetly, bent over, grabbed what I could and quickly walked to a bench and sat down hoping so one saw me. A young girl came over to say hi and I told her to stand in front of me and bend over like she was talking to me, then I quickly took off my slip and stuck it in my pocketbook.

We laughed, and someone else stuck their head over and says, "So what did I just see?!!" More laughter.

Needless to say, I am glad it was my slip and not undies.

Guess I need a new black slip as that one went right into the garbage!!!!
September 04, 2013
Today am pleased introduce to you our newest contributor - Alanna. Alanna contacted me shortly after she started seeing Julie and asked if she could become a blog contributor. I asked her to finish the first three classes with Julie and then send me her story and photos, because we all love to see photos of each other on this journey, and then she could be a contributor. Aloha Alanna!
Before starting program (11/10/12) versus today (week 6 on program)
 As a child and in high school, I was lucky enough to not have a weight problem - I used to jog 6 miles a day my freshman year! After high school, when I went out on my own, things changed. All the pizza, snacks, and ice cream that previously burned off, when I walked or biked everywhere, now sat on my hips…and thighs….and waist. By the time I had my first child at 27, I was up to 275 lbs. (at 5’ 7"), and over the next 20 years that ballooned up to a high of 365 lbs. In 2006, by writing down every bite I put in my mouth and going to the gym 4 times a week, I lost 60 pounds in a year, and made it down to 305. Since then, my weight crept back up and I was back up to 345 lbs. and a size 30/32 - I was out of control, miserable, and out of hope.

Then my daughter told me about her girlfriend’s mom, who had been very heavy too, and now after 2 years with Julie’s program she looked amazing. Maybe there WAS some hope for me. I tried to book an appointment in December 2012 and couldn’t get through. I called again in April and was put on the waiting list. Doesn’t that 3 months of waiting for your appointment seem like FOREVER?
Before starting program; 11/10/12
I had my first session with Julie on July 19, 2013, and left feeling hopeful, but apprehensive. No more coconut coffee?! It’s hysterical that it wasn’t pizza, or chips, or chocolate that I was worried about missing. How the heck was I going to start my morning without my flavored coffee with light cream and 2 sugars?
3 weeks on program (08/08/13) vs 6.5 weeks (09/01/13)
Well, I’m glad to say it’s 6 weeks down the road, and I’ve survived without my coffee “ice cream.” I do use a LOT of milk in my coffee, I would say 2/3 coffee to 1/3 whole milk, but that’s okay - milk is unlimited and it takes that much for me to cut the bitterness of the coffee.
Week 6 on program; 9/01/13
Normally, when you weigh as much as I do/did, it takes almost 50 pounds before anyone even notices you’ve lost weight. With Julie, by the third week I was in the jeans that fit me in 2006! They were snug, but they zipped! People who didn’t even know I was following the program were telling me I had lost weight! I was so excited that I called my mom who lives an hour away and told her how fast I was losing etc etc. Bad move! Danger! Danger!

After telling my mom about my success, she then told the family, and now in my head everyone was going to expect me to look “skinny” at the family gathering coming up on Labor Day weekend. I was putting myself through hell all last week, because I felt like I hadn’t lost enough, and was going to disappoint everyone when they saw me. Mind you, this is all in my head - my family loves me no matter what, and does it really matter if someone else thinks I lost more or less weight than I really have?

That’s when I read Theresa’s great post about our bodies taking however long they need to lose weight. I read about Linda’s struggle with bad pictures that made her want to throw in the towel. Those posts helped so much, because they reminded me about the JOURNEY! There will be ups and downs, and happiness and frustration, and we all just need to chill out, follow the program, and go along for the ride!

So, thank you again to everyone who comments and posts on this blog - what a great support system this is! I look forward to following along on your journeys!

PS - I Just got home from the family picnic - I stayed on program (yay!) and had fun. I had to laugh when someone who didn’t know about this (weight loss) thought I looked different because I had a new hairstyle - I don’t.
September 02, 2013
Someone on Facebook asked for a pic-post yesterday, now someone here today is asking. OK. Here's a "before and during" that will make your jaw drop. The date on the "before" picture is actually a month PRIOR to me starting Julie's program so you are looking at results that actually span 100 total days.


August 30, 2013
Today marks my OFFICIAL 100 days on-program.

No sweets.

No bread.

No dunkin donuts. <---small miracle

No pasta. <---large miracle

No Never-Ending Pasta Bowls this year. <---divine intervention

Just me, my 1/2 lb. burgers, steaks, salmon, tilapia, lamb leg and every other tasty treat that has helped make slapping the cravings away easier.

Truth be told, I eat a LOT.

I have a huge appetite.

But my body is doing precisely what Julie said it would.

Sometimes I eat a 1/2 lb. burger and finish off what my son doesn't.

I eat twice the serving of fish you would be served in a restaurant. Sometimes more.

I can eat a LOT of steak.

I finished a whole crockpot of beanless chili in two days once.

Two pounds of hamburger inhaled in four sittings.

My wife had a little.

I ran a train on that @!$&#@.

Today I noticed that I could feel my cheekbones and my jawbone while applying shaving cream.

Yesterday I noticed that my belly doesn't overhang my belt anymore.

I have a muffin top now.

Granted, it's one of those massive blueberry muffins you get at a Vegas buffet, but it's a muffin top nonetheless.

That whole business got me curious.

Since I'm completely writer's blocked today (hence this diversion - trying to get the words flowing again), I decided to try on some clothes. Again.

I have these two snazzy-looking dress shirts I bought for work while I was still a wage slave. They were the right size, but I needed a tall and these were regular.

The only reason I needed a tall was the extra length in the tails that would accommodate the belly.

The good news is that the regular fits fine now.

The bad news is that I can now wrap those shirts around me like a sarong.

Or maybe that's good news...

The bad news is they were $80 each and I never wore either of them in public.

But it gets better...

The suit that I wore to my grandmother's funeral (before I gained ALL the weight... I was about 320-330 at that point, I think - 2010 was a stressful year) now wraps around me like a bathrobe.

I could never get it altered to fit right. It's just done.

$400 and I wore it twice.

But it gets even better...

I have a blazer that I bought in 2003. At that point in time my weight was holding perpetually steady at 300-305 all the time. My "over 40" switch had not been flipped into the ON position yet.

This was when I was drinking 2 32-ounce Mountain Dews or Coke Classics every day and eating McDonald's for lunch and D'Angelo subs for dinner every day.

And visiting the vending machines on my :15s. I did love my pastry...

By 2004 I was totally addicted to Hostess Banana Dream cakes. I would buy them two at a time from the vending machine at work.

I'm probably the reason they kept stocking them. They were selling 10 a week to me alone.

Who am I kidding... I STILL love pastry. I just love it from afar these days.

SLAP!

Now where was I?

The blazer is now at least two sizes too big. It is rapidly earning bathrobe status, too.

So, in 100 days I've turned back the clock by more than 10 years.

And I eat to my heart's content.

And I balance my veggies well.

And I drink a lot of seltzer with lime.

Seltzer with lime is the new Mountain Dew.

Not sure what I weigh now, obviously, but I do know it's been at least a decade since I've looked like this or was even close to this size.




August 29, 2013
Before Julie:

Confidence / Linda = one of the biggest oxymoron word comparisons ever

Anyone who knows me, knows I would rather blend in with the woodwork or fall in a hole and disappear than to be noticed, ESPECIALLY if I am being noticed because I am FAT!

Could hardly meet and visit with people, whether I knew them or not, and totally forget any pictures being taken of me! My girls are upset about the pictures as there are hardly any of me with them growing up, ONE OF MY BIGGEST REGRETS OF MY FAT LIFE!!!!

My dad and I got into our genealogy years ago. With a lot of work we traced and found relatives in Torino Italy. My dad has been over there 4 times and one of my cousins came over here. My dad has hounded me for years to go with him to Italy. NO WAY, I couldn't go that far from my family, I didn’t want people over there to see this fat American, I could come up with a million excuses. My dad finally gave up.

Inside I wanted to cry. My dad is getting older, my mom can’t walk like she used to and he really wants to go there at least one more time. I really wanted to go, I want to meet my relatives, I want to see where I come from, experience the culture and so on.


After almost 2 years with Julie:

Confidence / Linda = gaining confidence daily


My confidence is building slowly. I try to mingle more and talk more to people. I have always loved giving hugs to people who I think may need one, and was always a bit hesitant. Now today, I give them out left and right!

I find myself opening up more to people, laughing much more, willing to go more places without the panic setting in. I fight the old panicked thoughts. My personality is changing with the weight I loose. AMAZING!

Now for the biggest confidence change in my life:

I AM GOING TO ITALY WITH MY FATHER!!!

YUP! You heard that right, I am going!!! I have my husband's encouragement (he doesn't want to go and my mom doesn't want to go) and I am actually going!! for 16 days!!!

My family is amazed at the change in my confidence! I still have days when that confidence goes back to before Julie days, but I am learning to fight those old thoughts. (tap tap)

I am not afraid of being the fat American there, as I think I will blend in more now. I am not as thin as my cousin who came over here a couple years ago, but at 55 and she is 22, well, lets just say, that thin isn't going to happen anymore in my lifetime!!!

I am a bit nervous about the food (tap tap) but have prepared my family over there about my eating habits. I told them breads, pasta, rice, sugar, four, and so on make me sick. I will be going to a grocery store daily to get meat to get me through. Julie is in my mind big time and I know I will do fine!!!!

Before Julie - Italy, NO WAY!!!

After Julie - I am not going to miss out on a chance of a lifetime!!

JULIE again THANK YOU!!!! Thank you for giving me what I needed to get to where I am on this life style!!!

I am not leaving for a few weeks, and can't wait to fill you in on how it went!!!

Did I mention how excited I am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Italy here I come!!!!!
August 28, 2013
In a recent comment, Andrea asked me to talk about losing slowly. I have a lot to say about this topic, so I promised her I would write a post about this. Those of you who follow this blog know me enough by now to know that I always answer a question with a story or two. This question is no exception.
Then and Now
When I saw the photo of me on the left (in 2006) I was horrified. "I look like an Amazon next to my friend!" I proclaimed.

When I saw the photo of me on the right (taken a few weeks ago with the same friend) I was horrified. "I look like an Amazon next to my friend!" I proclaimed. Then I changed my tune.

Wait just a minute. I'm not an amazon - my friend is petite!

Both times I felt like an amazon, but this time around I was able to cut away those negative thoughts and see things as they really are. Yes, I'm bigger than my friend. No matter what size I am, this will always be true. It is also true that I am not an Amazon!

A few years after the photo on the left was taken, I asked a psychic about my weight. The psychic told me that yes, my weight was going to come off, but it would take three years. I was not happy (understatement) with this news. As it turns out - the psychic was right. Within the year I went to see Julie. Two and a half years later-my attitude has changed about how long this is going to take; I dropped from a size 30/32 to a size 16. This journey is going to take me three years. It is what it is.

When I started this program I was a size 30/32. Along the way there have been periods of time when I felt like I was not losing weight. I've heard this from others as well. I'm not going to say I don't get frustrated when this happens, because I do. Then I remind myself my journey is what it is: a journey. I also remember Julie telling us there will be plateaus and plateaus mean our body is healing on the inside.

This is a good thing. I want my body to heal inside and out.

Ah yes, grasshopper, I remind myself, a plateau is part of the journey. Then I get out of my own way and let my journey continue.

It is exactly when I am the most frustrated by a plateau, that if I hang in there just a little while longer, the plateau will end and I will drop another size. The more frustrated I am, the closer I am to a drop in size. I just need to keep working the program and my body will do the rest.

What's great about this program, is that I don't have to think about what I'm doing. I've been doing this program long enough to know what foods to eat and how the program works. I love that I don't have to think about starting or getting back on a diet tomorrow.

It is not about the numbers on the scale or the size you wear. We do care about these things, but we don't get on the scale (it does not effectively measure "success" and the numbers only drive us crazy) and we try not to focus on our size (too much). What's most important is the quality of our lives - inside and out.

There are times when I get frustrated with how slow the weight is coming off. This issue often surfaces for me when I see others losing faster than me or I see others reach their goal size and I'm still not there yet. I can't compare my journey to others and I can't define my success to theirs. When I forget this and I start to wonder why did that person lose so quickly and not me? I'm headed for trouble. There is no right or wrong answer to this question. We do the best we can and we keep going. There is no looking back. There is no comparing my story to yours.

There are however, moments and experiences on our journey that many of us have in common that we can appreciate and celebrate with each other. Here are a handful of milestones others on this journey have expressed:
  • I can fit into the airplane seat without my body taking up part of the seat next to me.
  • I don't have to ask the stewardess for a seat belt extension.
  • I can cross my legs for the first time in years.
  • I can see my toes.
  • I can zip up a coat that is three sizes smaller than the one I wore when I started this program.
  • My doctor is very happy about my health stats.
  • Before this program I was on 27 medicines - now I'm only on 6.
  • I no longer need to take meds for diabetes.
  • I walked around the mall with one of those little pink bags announcing to the world that I had bought something at Victoria's Secrets.
  • I ran the Warrior Dash yesterday - 45 years old and I'd never run anything in my entire life.
  • I went to my 40th high school reunion and I did not have to focus on how much weight I wanted to lose before the reunion.
  • I am not an amazon.
We celebrate our success our weight loss success in whatever form they come in. I love that this blog provides a place for us to share our milestones and victories.

These weight loss milestones and victories, which may not be visible to others, are what keep me on program. That, and I built in success by planning for success; I committed to do whatever it takes. Each time I saw Julie, I signed up to go to a refresher two or three months out. I knew if I didn't need the refresh when they called me, I could push it out another month or more. This is what my refresher schedule looked like:
  1. 01/27/11 - first session
    02/03/11 - second session
    02/17/11 - third session 
  2. 03/05/11 - refresher - I probably didn't need this so early after my initial three classes, but I was going on vacation and I was freaking out that I wouldn't be able to stay on program. I made the right choice.
  3. 06/15/11 - refresher
  4. 10/25/11 - refresher
  5. 01/14/12 - refresher
  6. 04/11/12 - refresher 
  7. 12/06/12 - refresher
I'm going for another refresher at the end of Sept. The plateau I'm currently experiencing is wearing on me, so I'm going in for more support. Yes, I know this all adds up to a lot money, but I wanted to succeed. Not everyone needs to go in as often I as I did. In my first class, in January 2011, I looked around the room at the other women, who were mostly sizes 14-20, and I knew right then, wearing my size 30/32, that there that my journey would be a longer one than theirs. It only deepened my commitment to succeed.

Here's another more then and now photo. It does us all good to look back like this and see the truth in just how far we have come. It's all too easy to get caught up in how slow we feel the process is going and how much faster we wish it would be. It is what it is.
Then and Now
How do you measure success? What's different in your life that you couldn't do before losing weight?

Earlier posts and comments that talk about losing weight slowly:
August 27, 2013
Hello fellow travelers...I had 3 things happen recently that crushed my optimism and resolve to stay with the program (hopefully this is temporary). I need some words of encouragement, reality testing, or something from you guys.

 FIRST thing was looking at a pic of me taken on 8/15 when I thought I looked good - in the picture I looked really wide and and thick in the middle and was honestly shocked at my appearance. I felt as if all these past 8 months have been for naught and immediately (I know, this is a bad thing) felt intense self-loathing.

Maybe I have been deluding myself, I thought. All the positivity and good feeling with measurable (non-scale) changes and compliments of others suddenly meant nothing. I know this is not rational. Still hurts. Still mad at me.

 SECOND thing that happened was another picture - this one taken by a newspaper during event I attended - was published next day and was a closeup of my face from the side (not the best angle) and again I was shocked - who is that fattie with the extra chin and neck flesh that I thought was all gone by now? And my shoulder looked wide and even my chest.

Yikes I was freaked out. (I take pics of myself pretty regularly to see what I really look like - I like those pictures but maybe because always at a flattering angle.) Not feeling like the "hero" anymore that was posted about my story in June on this blog.

 THIRD thing that happened was I got a Wii Fit for a gift and used the Wii board to do a fitness/body test (thankfully it does not tell you weight unless you select that option but just knowing it was recording my weight was scary!) - and the board said based on my BMI, I was "Obese" - not even "Overweight" - and the beautiful colored Obese bar was colored all the way to the top!!!!!!!!!!!!  Like I have made no progress at all!

THEN, to add insult to injury, it took my little Mii (your meme or icon for your body) and POPPED it out fat instantly just to be sure I got the message that I am obese and then spoke it out loud to me. I felt so much shame. I might not use the board again for awhile, but I do like the other Wii sports such as tennis and ping pong and water boarding - all of which keep me moving and entertained for 2 hours a day every day since I got it.

Here is the big aaargh to share with you - I have been eating "forbidden" foods since all this b/c of the old faulty thinking - "might as well - I am a failure anyway - nothing works for me - might as well enjoy myself - I'll get back on program when I am ready, etc." Maybe I should just take an "allowed" week off and then commit to getting back on.

Anyway - there is a whole lot of honesty and I am sad to tell you that it is not working for me right now. Surely this has happened to others. I know you will suggest a refresher - I did that May 1st and it helped a bit. Don't have the $ right now to do another and somehow I don't think it will help. Gone are the days after my first 3-session program when I just did not even want bread, honey, fruit, etc. Now I want all of those things..............

Why doesn't the hypnosis to not want those thins last longer??????

Help!!!!!!!
August 26, 2013
Heroes and heroines:  Theresa, last night I was left thinking about your invitation to Sara to be a hero on this blog. I'd  be interested in others musing about this. While I was also amazed by her physical transformation, it seems to me that nomination as a hero shouldn't be based on the extent of weight loss, or the way one looks.

There are many people on this program who have faced challenges, hung in there, made emotional changes, displayed extraordinary wisdom, compassion towards others, given so much support to others on the journey (like you for instance) etc and that those merit recognition as heroism as much, if not more, than the concrete weight loss.

I'm concerned that we not make "success" a matter of numbers, whether pounds or sizes. If we do that we join into the societal madness which has ended up hurting so many of us.

 I was also thinking about Julie's comment that she keeps on a bit of additional weight because she looks less haggard that way, and those of us over 50, 60, 70 are unlikely to eve look the part of thin "heroes."

Eva
August 25, 2013
Anyone who has ever expected a child and gone full term can relate to the comment "I can't see my feet anymore"!

Well, when you are a size 26/28 woman, you have to just about bend totally frontwards to even get a glimpse of your feet. And there is no precious baby at the end of the feet-less journey...

See where I am going with this!

This is another non-scale victory for me:
I have feet! I can see my shoes without being an acrobat!
Only someone who has been morbidly obese can appreciate seeing their feet without bending forward.

Another non scale victory happened to me this week...

We went camping.

We don't have a big fancy camper.

Well if you don't have a big fancy camper, that means you do not have a big fancy bathroom.

You have a bathroom the size of a closet with a toilet stuffed in there somewhere.

It's no fun when you don't fit in the bathroom!

I fit! 

I fit in the closet bathroom and I fit comfortably--with the door shut at that!

I am seeing my world through different eyes lately and I love this!

The little non scale victories, AHA moments in my life make this journey so much fun.
August 25, 2013
If you haven't been to The Key Hypnosis website, you should go there and take a look around. The site provides details about Julie Kibe's weight loss program and other services, weight loss testimonial videos, frequently asked questions, and recipes.

Julie Kibe

August 23, 2013
Earlier this year, I went to a refresher. Someone asked Julie to "tell her" to exercise. Julie's reply? Julie spoke to us about "getting off the hamster wheel." She said "I can't make you exercise. YOU are unlike any other animal on the earth. YOU don't need to wait for someone to open the door and 'let you out.' YOU can go outside and WALK any time YOU want. So, that is what you should do. You should get up off of your couch, and go WALK OUTSIDE."
Get off the hamster wheel. Video by Theresa.
So, in the spring, when it was beautiful out, I got my music, my sneakers and my water, and out the door I went. I enjoy my neighborhood. It is beautiful, has hills and for the most part is very peaceful.

Until a neighbor's dog scared the heebie-jeebies out of me.....

Over the past years, while out walking, I have been bitten twice by dogs. Not in the neighborhood I live now, but still - something like that just doesn't leave you after it happens....And boy did this last encounter push me right back inside, back to sitting on my couch. I mean, Julie said get OUTSIDE and WALK!

Even with my little can of pepper spray, I was rattled by that dog. The dog came running into the road, barking his head off. I yelled all sorts of obscenities at the dog and then the owner came out. I continue on, my adrenaline just a flowing. After this incident, I didn't want to go outside anymore. With this kind of assault, it wasn't as much fun anymore!

I have had a treadmill for years and I've used it on and off. After the dog incident, the treadmill remained dormant. I used that dog and Julie telling me to get outside to walk as my excuse to get my butt sitting back on the couch! Oh, really? Those ribbons that I use to measure myself show I've gained weight? Really? Surprised?

No. Epiphany.

I may have been able to lose my weight without exercising, but that doesn't mean I get to KEEP it off just by being in the river.....my lazy paddling around may not be enough for me to maintain!

HELLLLOOOOOOO!
My little corner in Man's Land
I came to this conclusion: I think Julie would be just fine with me using my treadmill, especially living in New England where the weather has been not so great, and while I work on getting rid of my "dog nerves" yet again......

My second conclusion? I LOVE my treadmill! Yes, I can go out and walk, but why not still do what I love? I love having the television on, my music on, my fans on....I absolutely LOVE being on it! It has all sorts of inclines and speeds - I mix it up all the time. I have even been known to run on it! And I still have the CHOICE to get on it!

I owe it to myself to where I have come on this journey, to get on my treadmill, and to allow myself to enjoy it. I owe it to myself to do what I appreciate and what I like to do. Julie would never want me to do nothing! And if walking outside is not my favorite thing, then why not DO what I like?

I hope you all find what you truly love to do-yoga, swimming, walking, whatever, and that you follow what Julie says: GET MOVING!
August 19, 2013
Crust Free Quiche
  • 16 oz of Egg Beaters
  • 2 cups shredded cheese (I change it up between Cheddar Jack and Swiss)
  • 8 oz cooked Turkey Sausage
  • 1 pint of chopped mushroom slices
  • 10 oz package of frozen chopped spinach (thawed)
Combine all 5 ingredients in a large bowl then pour mixture into a 9" pie pan. bake at 350F for about 35-40 minutes. Season to taste. I like hot sauce personally.

Simple Chili
  • 16oz Ground Buffalo Meat (browned)
  • 28oz can Diced Tomato
  • 1 packet of chili seasoning
  • 15 can corn
  • About half a bag of frozen peppers and onions
Throw everything in a skillet and simmer for 15 min or so. Top with a dollop of sour cream or some shredded cheese.

Sheppard's Pie

Bottom layer - Ground meat of your choice (browned)
Middle layer - Can of peas & Can of corn
Top layer - Mashed cauliflower (instead of potatoes)

To make this, I steam a head of cauliflower until it's really soft then run it thru a food processor with a little cream and butter. I sprinkle paprika on top then bake at 350F for 30 min.

Pasta-Free Lasagna

I actually don't have this recipe in front of me, it's something my wife makes for me on occasion. She takes a simple lasagna recipe but rather than using the noodles, she substitutes thinly sliced layers of eggplant and zucchini. Delicious!

Recipes shared by: C. Bruce Froehlich
August 19, 2013
There was a recent comment asking what I meant by tapping, that she didn't remember. So, I thought I'd tell what tapping means to me by sharing a story.
Oh, and I got a new haircut too.
Up until yesterday, I would have answered this question in a different way. It was more of a metaphor to me, not something I paid attention to; it just worked independently of my thinking about it. In my mind, I always had a visual of Julie talking about cravings as one of her hands came closer and closer to her face and as she talked about tapping those thoughts away she pushed the same hand back with her other hand.

Yesterday I had lunch with my key friend Karen at Red Robin and then we went Crate & Barrel and then Target; we know how to live it up. It was a fun visit with some good laughs. After saying good-bye, I decided to go back to the mall and hang out for another hour and then go to a movie nearby. That's when it started.

Tap tap.

I tried on a short white skirt at Macy's - boom - it fit! I've been wanting to buy a cute summer skirt for a couple of months and I was elated to zip into a size 16. I decided since summer is nearly over, not to buy the skirt, but I left the store very happy.

Tap tap.

I haven't hung out at the mall since high school and I quickly remembered why: it's not as much fun shopping alone. Karen and I laughed out loud a lot. It's not a good idea to laugh out loud at the mall when you're alone, so I hung out at the Mac store and drooled over 27" Macs.

Tap tap.

The food court and bakery smells were driving me crazy! Now I remember why I don't hang out at the mall. Starbucks Misto (hot coffee with foamy milk) to the rescue.

Tap tap.

When I arrived at the theater, I learned the movie wouldn't start for another hour. My 2:50 movie was playing in Hadley - not West Springfield. Now what? The theater foods are making me hungry. I'm not hungry. I can't be hungry. I ate a monster bacon cheeseburger with an egg on top only an hour ago .

Tap tap. This will pass. Tap, tap. This will pass.

I haven't had urges like this in a long long time! I haven't eaten anything that would bring on this kind of craving, so I could not figure out what was going on. I ended up walking over to CVS and buying some beef jerky and seltzer to quiet down the beast. Once the movie previews started I was fine.

When I got home, I talked with another key friend about my cravings and what she said made a lot of sense "white skirt fits + crazy craving = drop! I bet a food dream and a drop (in weight) are heading your way!"

Now that I think about this, foods started catching my attention earlier this week; I've been chanting tap tap all week (in my head). First it was something in the coffee shop behind glass. A few days ago I looked at every item on the grocery belt ahead of me and I realized that was exactly what my shopping cart used to look like: a box from the bakery, two candy bars, and a hot food item. Tap tap. 

I feel like things are changing inside me. I never had these crazy cravings before. Hunger yes, but not cravings. Perhaps those weren't cravings but hunger. Yup, sounds like hunger to me. 

I started today having a breakfast with eggs, bacon, sausage, and ham. I couldn't eat it all, but I was like "okay hunger - bring it on!"

Tapping is no longer a metaphor for me. It's an internal chant that keeps me alert and helps me not give in to food cravings. It sounds a lot like a heart beat. In fact, it felt like my heart pounding very loudly. It felt like a healthy heart gently reminding me tap, tap it away. This is a test. 

 And I passed the test.
August 18, 2013
Molly, our newest contributor, started hypnosis with Julie in March 2013. She was "about a size 20" in when she started and today she's two sizes from her goal. This is the first of her blog posts. I look forward to hearing more from you Molly.
Photo by Molly
There are certain things people that are not overweight take for granted. This picture is one of them..crossing your legs. I can't tell you how great it is. I can cross my legs...easily. I am now comfortable in my clothes, comfortable in chairs at the ball park, the airplane, the train, and just sitting at my desk. I can wear shorts without them riding up my thighs. I can shop in banana republic and stores without a plus size section. I can trade clothes with friends. I can go for a bike ride with my family. My life is profoundly different and I am HAPPY.
I know I did it to myself but you don't realize what your doing and you don't realize exactly how bad off you are/were until you look back.

Before Julie, Everyday I woke and said "today I'm going to do better," but by the time I hit the drive-through, I justified why my horrendous purchase was okay.....because I would have a salad for lunch or I thought "I won't eat lunch." Yeah that would make the doughnut, sweet coffee drink, and breakfast sandwich okay. Or a muffin can't be that bad, it has blueberries in it and its low fat. Munchkins are just little donuts, they won't hurt me, you have to eat a lot of them for them to add up.

And while I knew it was bad there was always something in my mind that would have been worse to eat. Guess what. There wasn't. I was killing myself slowly.

It's not that I didn't know. I'm a well educated adult having read my share of health books. I wanted to be thin, to look good, but in the decision moment of whether i should eat those chips i never chose properly....there was always tomorrow. I had desire but I had no willpower, no discipline.

Julie gave that to me. She gave me the mental reset I needed. I'm looking forward from here on out, no looking back. With this post I've cleaned out the closet figuratively and literally. Two more sizes to go! I'm in a really comfortable 14 with a dash of 12 depending on where I shop.
August 18, 2013
Note: it's important that you measure the amount of cabbage, onion, and tomato sauce to ensure that you have more meat than vegetables for this recipe.
Crock Pot Goulmbki, photo by Theresa
Ingredients
  • Fresh cabbage rinsed and chopped into 2 inch cubes (or use cabbage already sliced in bags generally labeled "coleslaw")
  • 3 lbs. lean ground beef (or 1 1/2 lbs. ground beef and 1 1/2 lbs. ground pork)
  • Stewed tomato or plain tomato sauce
  • Salt and pepper
  • 2 Tbs. Bell's seasoning (which is a blend of rosemary, oregano, sage, ginger, marjoram, thyme, and pepper)
  • 1 onion, diced
  • 4 slices bacon
  • 1/4 cup your favorite barbecue sauce or ketchup
Prepare Cabbage
  1. Put chop cabbage into a large pot of boiling water and let simmer for about 5 minutes just to let the cabbage start to wilt. It will cook more in the crock pot.
  2. Drain the cabbage and set aside. 
Prepare Meat
  1. Mix ground beef, salt, pepper and Bell's seasoning and chopped onion. 
  2. Mix well and form large firm meat balls.
  3. In a crock pot, use half of the cooked, drained cabbage to make the bottom layer.
  4. Carefully place the large meat balls on the cabbage.
  5. Add the rest of the cabbage to cover the meat.
  6. Place the strips of bacon over the cabbage.
  7. Pour tomato products, and about 1/4 cup of barbecue sauce or ketchup to add richness.
Turn the crock pot on low and cook for 8 hours (this can also be cooked in a large pot on the stove). The longer this cooks the better. This dish is also excellent the second day. This freezes well and can be placed into one portion containers and used for single meals.
August 13, 2013
In My Mind, I'm Going to Carolina.....well, not really......but the song keeps running through my head!

I heard last night (finally!) that my husband was picked to go on a business trip to Big Sky Resort in Big Sky, Montana in September. Did he have to ask me twice if I wanted to go?!?! I had the airlines cued up before he even got home, and didn't even really care about how much my airfare would be!

I get to go see where the deer and antelope roam! And try a really fresh bison burger!

This trip has been a long time in coming. My husbands company goes to this specific business group every year. They go to a different state every year, to make it new, interesting, and convenient for everyone as people come from all over the US. They have done this for probably 25 years. About 8 years ago, hubby started going for his company, and because spouses are invited (think of it as a "working weekend" where the spouses get wined and dined while the "guys" work, then get to play after) I started to tag along. I have been to 5 different states (the last 2 years, he hasn't been chosen to go), all on the East Coast, and each time, I have enjoyed the trip, the company, and the memories.

Except for one.

My weight.


This is the ONLY picture I could find out of ALL 5 trips that I have been on, and yes, I know it is an awful picture of my girlfriends who I cannot wait to see again! This is from Newport, RI, August, 2010. (I am on the right)

I was the biggest one, the one who struggled to keep up, who didn't do a lot of the activities because I was out of shape....well, you know the story.

Since my weight loss, no one has seen me-except the president of the company who runs the group, but only for a split second last year in Las Vegas, and he didn't give me the time of day. At first I was offended....then I thought-HE DIDN'T RECOGNIZE ME!!!!! Now I Laugh Out Loud when I think about that.....

So, how odd is it to me this year that my biggest concern about our trip to Montana is: What am I bringing so that I can participate in ANY and ALL events? We might go zip lining, rock climbing, hiking, fly fishing, who the heck knows?!?!? It's always a secret......And I can't wait! I will participate in all activities! I don't want to miss a minute! I do know we get to see Yellowstone National Park, and go horseback riding. Everything else (we will be there a week) is hush hush (the president and his wife like surprising us!!!!).

Maybe this year I will have a few more pictures!!!!!

If any of you have been out there in September, and have some suggestions for what to wear-please let me know!



                                                                                                    Big Sky Resort, Big Sky, Montana


August 07, 2013
There were two comments made recently on posts that are worthy of surfacing to a post of their own. One comment was about pepperoni and kielbasa, which led me to do some research on the correlation between high fat foods and plateaus. The other comment encouraged us to embrace the changes in our bodies and to feel confident in our smaller sizes on our journey to our goal size.
Feel great, act great, and approve of yourself. Photo source.
High Fat Foods

Anonymous posted this comment:
I have been on the program since February. I didn't think we could have pepperoni or kielbasa?
In response to your question, I'll tell you my story about meats.

I didn't know this was a meat intense program when I first saw Julie. I was in a bit of a panic my first night of class, because I didn't like meat. I asked Julie if she could help me like meat. She said she can't make us like something we don't like. (Remember her talk about free will?) I asked if I could eat pepperoni and cold cuts, and she said yes and then she cautioned us about the amount of fat we eat in a single day. I asked about meatloaf and meatballs, as they were the only other forms of meat I could think of that I liked. She said we can have them because breadcrumbs are inside, but we are not allowed foods with breadcrumbs on the outside.

In the 2 1/2 years since I started this program, I have come to really love meat. I did this by eating out most of the time when I wanted a steak or ribs. I bought a grill a few weeks ago and I'm learning to get past the raw meat factor: seeing bloody meat tends to ruin my appetite. I still have a ways to go, but I do love grilled meats and I am determined get past this issue. Plus, it's expensive eating out all the time.

I'm focusing on lean meats and cutting back on the fatty meats. I did a little research and kielbasa, pepperoni, and processed meats are all high in fat. In my research, I also found support to Julie's caution (no surprise): if you're experiencing a plateau, you may want to take a look at how much of these (high fat) foods you're eating.

I'm also following Julie's advice to eat healthy meats, preferably organic and wow - what a difference in taste!

The program changes over time, so if you learned in your class that you can't have these foods, then don't have them. The bottom line is this: when in doubt, leave it out. Another option is to ask the office.

Congratulations Anonymous for being on the program for six months. I hope you're enjoying your weight loss journey and I look forward to hearing more from you.

High Self Images

Jane posted this wise wisdom:
Have you seen the video by Dove Soap? It has 4 women sit behind a curtain and a police sketch artist draw them as they describe themselves. Then, a second person comes in and describes the same woman. Each person's drawings were pretty much the same. The person who described themselves, emphasized the negative, while the other person who just met them, had a more realistic account of what that person looks like.

The video is so telling and pretty emotional. We tend to see only the negatives. Wrinkles, lines, chubby cheeks, chin, etc... Why do we do this to ourselves?

What we should do is this: Go to the store, try on our old size pants/shorts, then a size or two smaller. Each week/month going into the store will be very telling as to where you are headed. 
Be POSITIVE, embrace the changes...... Maybe now, you're in smaller shorts, but have a bit of spillage over the waste band... Hey, at least you can get INTO the smaller size.
We need to laugh at ourselves, feel confident and know that we are headed in the right direction. 
I like the way you think Jane. Thanks for sharing your wisdom with us. BTW, I did some research and found the commercial:



August 06, 2013
We can measure success with a measuring tape or see our weight loss success in photos. We can feel successful by how our clothes fit or when we hear "wow - you've lost a ton of weight." But what if our perception of our bodies doesn't allow any of this to be enough?
Reality vs Perception. Photo source.
Ellen recently wrote to me about this topic:
I started on Julie's program back in March.. and found your blog not long after.. I look forward to reading each post as I always find a little something to keep me inspired. 

I finally broke down yesterday and took myself shopping for a few pairs of shorts in a smaller size. When I first started this program I kept thinking how great it would be to walk into a store, head to the racks and pick out what ever I wanted knowing that it would fit perfectly!
I found 2 pairs of shorts after about 4 hours of searching. At one point, I wanted to cry, as I realized it was just as difficult to find smaller sizes as it was to find larger ones. 

Now I am thinking that this has as much to do with our perception of our bodies as it does the reality. 

Has anyone else experienced this? How do you get the head to match the mirror? 
Ellen asks a great questions.

Back in January, I wrote a piece about Measuring Success and I promised I would measure once a month. Six months have passed and I haven't take any more measurements. I've taken a lot of photos, but I'm too critical when I see them. "Oh no--too many wrinkles" I  think to myself. Or, "OMG - look at my belly!"

See, there's that mean voice again. Have I forgotten how far I've come? I think so.

I went shopping yesterday. I had been in the store a few days earlier and I wouldn't try anything on that had an X in front of the size. No surprise, nothing I tried on fit. Yesterday, as I entered the store I told my friend "Just so you know, I'm going to try on clothes, but I may not drop a dime." Even when I said it I thought it was a weird thing to say. I'm not sure if I was more afraid I would find a ton of clothes that fit or that nothing would fit at all.

This time I tried on many different sizes. I didn't find anything that fit right, but I only tried on items that were on sale. Had I gone for the non-summer clothes, I may have had better luck. It was an expensive store and I'm not ready to spend that kind of money on clothes just yet. I left optimistic that I will be back next year and I will have a lot more options then.

I've resolved that I will see the rest of summer through with the clothes I have. Fall and winter wardrobes will be upon us soon enough and I will look for new clothes for those seasons.

Meanwhile, I'll work on my perception - focus on embracing the reality of my size rather than my perception. Some days I feel thin and other days - not so much. But the reality is this is how people feel in all sizes.

In fact, I did a Google search and here's a few articles:
Plus this great Ted Talk (~20 minute video)



August 04, 2013
Note: I cleared this post with Theresa before setting it loose, because there are some VERY negative and unfounded things said about Julie in this story, but it definitely demonstrates why some people fail and why it's so important to keep our eyes fixed on the Big Picture. Enjoy!

My son and I were having dinner at 99 the other night.

I love going there and having the smothered sirloin tips because I can get them on their own with no starch, just veggies.

Apparently, one of the women sitting in the booth across from us (I fit in the booths there now… couldn't for a long time) heard me placing my order.

I asked the server to hold the starch.

I told her I didn't need extra veggies because I had to balance my veggies with my protein.

So the woman sitting across from us hears all this and when the server walks away she leans over and says, "You went to Key Hypnosis, didn't you?"

I told her that I had.

She smirks at me and says, "You're in for a surprise."

I said, "Well, I've experienced several in the last couple months. Being able to fit inside this booth for one."

"Sure," she said, "But wait. You're gonna stop losing in another month or so and when you do the office is going to miraculously call and offer you a 'refresher.'"

I told her that I had requested a followup call in September so that wouldn't be a surprise.

"Yeah but by the time they call you're gonna stop losing weight."

"What makes you say THAT?"

"It's a huge scam. She programs you to lose for a couple months, then you stop. Then, if you want to keep losing you have to attend a 'refresher' and pay her another $200."

I said, "Really… that's quite remarkable. A hypnotist that can manipulate my physiology and make me STOP losing weight while still keeping the diet."

"No," she said. "You'll start cheating on the diet. After a couple months you'll go back to eating like a normal person and then go running for a refresher. It's all factored in to what she does. I went back TWICE for refreshers and each time I was OK for about two months, then BOOM! Bottom line: we're fat. It's how God made us. Accept it. Don't keep paying for false dreams."

I thanked her for the information and told her I'd take her advice to heart.

A few minutes later when the server showed up with her nachos, I said "BOOM!" as she put them on the table. I just couldn't help myself.

Throughout that whole night I kept going over in my head the things that Julie said about this whole thing being an act of Free Will.

I willingly submitted to the hypnosis. I willingly follow the diet and I am subsequently willing my way to health.

Some people just want nachos more than they want to be well but they can't just admit that, can they? It has to be someone else's failure.

I see the holidays this year being very difficult. I might need a refresher to get through them.

Then again, I may not.

What I'm sure of, though, is that if I do need one it'll be because for that month or so between Thanksgiving and Yule there's going to be a LOT of interference and I may need to clear up the signal so I don't get too depressed.

But that's all about me, not the program, not Julie.

I wonder if nacho lady realizes just how much money Julie COULD be charging for what she delivers.

I wonder if she realizes that every time I tell people how much this program cost me they're SHOCKED by how LITTLE I paid?

People who have never done the program see its value and think Julie is selling herself short.

But for some, paying $8 for nachos makes more sense than spending $200 to help themselves continue on a path to wellness and that's just that.
August 03, 2013
When I was a young girt, my best friend and neighbor told me her family sometimes had "skip" for dinner. Her father was in the military and stationed in Alaska, and finances were difficult, so once in a while her mom would announce "we're having skip for dinner" - which meant they were skipping dinner entirely.
Like this bunny, I skip, hop, and jump when I feel like it.
Oh, and I eat when I'm hungry and I skip meals if I'm not. Photo by Theresa
Since I started following this program, my eating habits have completely changed. But skip for dinner? Not for me. I used to eat breakfast first thing in the morning or I would feel faint. Never, never, never could I / would I have eaten only one meal on any given day. I also never imagined I would skip dinner because it was "too hot to cook dinner."

Some time after I started this program, things changed. I no longer woke up hungry and I found I didn't need breakfast most mornings. I have days when I only eat once. Usually this happens on weekends, when I find myself deep into writing or a project and the next thing I know it's 3pm and all I've had is coffee. I may or may not have a second meal later in the day. During the heat wave we had the last couple of weeks, there were a couple of nights I went to bed hungry, because it was too hot to cook dinner. These are new behaviors for me - and I like this.

Eat when you're hungry is what we're taught - don't snack and don't eat if you're not hungry. It all seems logical enough, and quite natural at that. Before I was on this program, my natural instincts about food were way out of sync. It's nice to be in touch with my body as nature intended.

I eat to live. I no longer live to eat. Now that this is my truth, it's time to turn my focus towards enjoying my life in new ways and having new experiences. I have two new activities coming up in September: I'm taking up biking and I just signed up for a 10 week ukulele class.

Now it's your turn:

  • What's different in the way you interact with food?
  • Is it time for you to try something new in your life?
July 31, 2013
About a dozen friends of Julie gathered for a potluck and on Friday night. Our gracious hosts grilled up Fillet Mignon for the main course. Here's the story, plus: the menu, my spaghetti with meat sauce recipe, and a group photo. Spaghetti? Yes - I made spaghetti "noodles" from zucchini.
A photo posted by Theresa Chamberland (@alohatac) on
This was the first time I had used my spirooli (see photo of this gadget below), which a key friend gave me a few months after the Greenfield potluck. I have to pause here for a moment to say: how nice this is - I get to meet and become friends with others following Julie's program, who not only have given me incredible support and shared their stories with me, but also gave me clothes and this great gadget!

I encourage you to reach out to others who are following Julie's program. Strike up a conversation before or after seeing Julie. If you read a post that inspires you, on this blog or on the closed Facebook group, reach out to that person and see if you can get together for coffee, a meal, a walk, or connect on skype, or talk on the phone. The support is incredible. And you may surprise yourself - you too may be of great support to someone else. Either way, it's very rewarding.

Back to my story...

I brought the spirooli and zucchini with me so others could give this a try. We couldn't figure out how to remove the slicer that was in place (where the noodles come out) when I opened the box, so the noodles were thicker than I preferred. Later, I asked the two men who were at the gathering to take a look and we finally figured it out. It was one of those secret handshake things, push on the back piece while pulling up on the top. Next time I will be able to make the thinner noodles.
I used my spirooli to turn yellow squash into noodles. Photo by Theresa
The recipe is pretty simple - make your favorite meat sauce and serve over zucchini "noodles."

We sliced the skin off  the 8 medium sized zucchini. In looking at the photo (above) I realized we didn't have to remove the skin. Actually, the noodles look more interesting with the skin. We then put the zucchini through the spirooli to make the noodles and then put them in a bowl and into the microwave.

Since it was my first time making these, noodles I set the microwave to 2 minutes. After 6 minutes, each time we took them out of the microwave, we took turns tasting a noodle to see if they were done enough. You want them cooked, but not soggy. They softened to our liking after 10 minutes.

(07/16/14 update: I made these noodles on top of the stove in a small amount of water in a veggie steamer and they cook in less than 2 minutes. I highly recommend stove-top cooking them.)
Martha Stewart Veggie Steamer. Photo source: macys.com
We then invited the others to taste the spaghetti with meat sauce. A couple people were hesitant to try the noodles, because they don't like veggies or they don't like zucchini, but everyone had some noodles with lots of meat sauce, to keep the meat-to-veggie ratio in line.

Some loved these noodles, others really liked the sauce, but the noodles, not so much. Other recipe ideas were suggested, such as adding them to a stir-fry. If you google spirooli recipes, you will find a lot of recipes and videos.

At the end of the night, Linda said "I love these noodles. I have to get one of these things." I loaned her the spirooli. This way she can make the noodles for for her family a few times before committing to buying one. Plus, this gives us another reason to get together. Linda, we look forward to seeing you post the spirooli recipes you create for your family. A photo would be great too!

The Meat Sauce

I cooked 2 pounds of organic ground beef with long slices of onion (half of a small vidalia onion), and after the meat was cooked I added a jar and a half of tomato sauce (I used Capa di Roma's Roasted Garlic, which I bought at Big Y). I made the meat sauce the night before, so all I had to do was heat it up at the gathering. I usually use both jars of sauce for my meat sauce, but since I was serving the meat sauce over veggies, I cut back on the amount of tomato sauce - always watching for the meat-veggie ratio.

The Noodles

Adjust the number of zucchini (green and/or yellow) to suit your needs, try to make an amount that will eaten that day. I used 8 total.

Remove the skin from the zucchini (or you may leave it on.) Push the zucchini through a spirooli to make the noodles. Place the noodles in a dish and microwave until the zucchini the texture you like for your noodles. I cooked all 8 zucchini for 10 minutes.  If you're cooking less zucchini, cut back on the cooking time.

Serve the noodles and sauce separate, unless you are sure you've made the exact amount needed. The noodles become too soggy if left in the sauce. (I read this, I don't know this for sure.)

The Menu

So, you're wondering, what else did we eat? Plenty...
  • Fillet Mignon
  • Corn on the cob
  • Bacon wrapped shrimp
  • Shrimp cocktail
  • Pepperoni
  • Salad
  • Barbecue kielbasa
  • Rolled soppressata
  • Veggie sticks and cheese
  • Deviled eggs

The Group Photo
Gathering of friends of Julie 07/26/13
Clothing Exchange

In addition to meeting some for the first time, we had a clothing exchange. This was a lot of fun. In fact, I'm wearing a new blouse from this giveaway in the photo above. The grand finali was when our hostess opened her coat closet and offered a beautiful crimson red wool coat, which was a perfect fit for the recipient!

More Spirooli Recipes
Other Resources

July 30, 2013
I've been singing a song every summer for the past three years. I'm still working on the lyrics, but it definitely has a country-western twang, and it goes something like this . . .
Ukulele photo by Theresa
Tell me
Why am I wearing last summers clothes? 
Maybe I didn't wear them as often as I could have
And maybe I'm not as thin as I could have

Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time 
Girl, I'm sorry I was blind
But they were always on my mind
These clothes are always on my mind

(end of song)

I can see in my clothes that I've lost weight in the past few months. My clothes are looser, but I can't fit into a handful of size 16 carpis someone recently gave me and it frustrates me. A friend pointed out that perhaps those pants may not be a good fit for me and that once I can zip them up - they may be too big everywhere else. This made sense, so I went looking for visual evidence to see my loss in other ways.

First, I went looking for photos of me in the same outfit last summer and this summer, hence the photos below. Although these are not full body photos, the difference in my face and chin is quite visible. When I wear the dress in these photos, I feel the difference in how it fits from last summer. It was never tight, but it certainly has a whole lot more room than it did last year.
Left: July 2012 Right: July 2013
Next up: go on a shopping spree to update my wardrobe. I have a closet full of tops, but I don't have enough pants or dresses. My goal was 1) see if I could fit into size 16 pants or dresses and 2) regardless of size - buy a pair of black pants or capris.

 Hold on...a girl has to eat first before hitting the stores, so I  first stopped to have a late lunch (3pm) at Outback, where I enjoyed a wonderful meal. This is one of those times when one has to leave food on the plate. As large as the steak was, I needed to be mindful of eating bite-for-bite meat and veggies. 
Outback Steakhouse
At Dress Barn I tried on a size 12 black and white empire dress. What a riot. I skipped right over the 16'a and even the 14's. I'm so determined to be a 12. It had a side zipper, so I slid the dress on, but it wouldn't zip up over my hips. The top and thighs were a perfect fit, but there was no way the zipper would go up over my hips. Okay, so I'm not a 12 yet. I took a photo and moved on to other outfits.
This size 12 dress fit, but I couldn't zip it over my hips!
I tried on a skirt and blouse that I had considered buying a few months ago - a blue and white top with a knee length white skirt, both size XL. The outfit looked great in April and I was hoping a sale would make it worthwhile to buy now. Both pieces were only in an XL and neither were on sale. But guess what? It didn't matter - they were both too big! Yeah! Evidence found. Nothing else in Dress Barn fit me right, so I moved on to Macy's.

At Macy's, I headed to the larger woman's clothing area thinking this time of year I may find bargains here in the smallest of their large sizes. I tried on a beautiful black skirt with a top I wore into the store. The skirt fit nicely, but it had an elastic waist and the skirt flared out in a way that visually added pounds. It felt nice, but who wants to look heavier. Snap another photo and move on.
Back skirt with top I wore into the store. Not sure what size this was.
Moving on the Avenue for pants...no luck. Of course I tried on a few 14's, but they didn't work at all. The size 16 pants I tired on fit and looked nice, but were uncomfortable when I walked. They made a "swoosh" sound and the legs bagged up. No thanks.
Size 16 capris from Macy's
The clothing in specialty stores for large women don't work for me anymore. This is something to cheer about, because it's official now: no more large women's stores for me. There's no looking back.

I meandered into Macy's regular women's section, which is hard to identify because they have so many sections  for women. After trying on a size 14 skirt (ha, I'm so determined) and a few other items with no luck until I found a pair of size 16 white pants. They were really expensive and marked down quite nicely too. They fit beautifully.
My new "black" pants in size 16.
I deemed these my new "black" pants, because that's what I really wanted, but the truth is, I wanted a pair of size 16 pants in ANY color. These are longer than my other capris, they feel wonderful, and the front pockets are nice and flat. My capris all have pockets that take up too much room, the pocket fabric is too thick, whereas the pockets on these pants don't show under my blouse.

I had a successful shopping spree, despite the fact that I only bought one item. I realize I need to just get out of my own way. Here's where I stand today, I'm going to:

  • live with the clothing I have for the rest of the season 
  • stop fixating on what I don't have and enjoy what I have
  • remember that all these clothes WILL be too big for me next summer
  • remember that I have dropped weight and the rest of my body (hips in particular) will follow in their own time
  • keep following program and the weight will come off
What's happening in your wardrobe? Have any of you had these kinds of wardrobe malfunctions? How are you moving past what size you want to be and focusing on the more important things in life than what size you are?

July 26, 2013
This recipe showed up on my FB timeline today and I had to share it. I made a couple minor adjustments to make it fit our unique diet. Before you balk at the 3 grams of carbs, bear in mind that if you use condiments or citrus juice at all you're eating sugar, hence you're getting about that per meal on average anyway. :-)
Photo and recipe source: Ricki-Lee Anderson
Philly Cheese steak Stuffed Peppers
  • 12 oz. thinly sliced deli roast beef
  • 4 Slices Provolone cheese
  • 2 Large Green, Red or Yellow Bell Peppers
  • 1 Medium Sweet Onion
  • 6 oz. Baby Bella Mushrooms
  • 2 Tbsp Butter
  • 2 Tbsp Olive Oil
  • 1 Tbsp Garlic - minced
  • Salt and Pepper - to taste
Directions
  1. Slice peppers in half lengthwise, remove ribs and seeds.
  2. Slice onions and mushrooms.
  3. Saute over medium heat with butter, olive oil, minced garlic and a little salt and pepper.
  4. Saute until onions and mushroom are nice and caramelized about 25-30 minutes.
  5. Preheat oven to 400°F.
  6. Slice roast beef into thin strips and add to the onion and mushroom mixture.
  7. Allow to cook 5-10 minutes.
  8. Fill each pepper with meat mixture until they are nearly overflowing.
  9. Top each pepper with another slice of provolone cheese.
  10. Bake for 15-20 minutes until the cheese on top is golden brown.
  11. Serve and Enjoy!!
Makes 4 servings - 3-4 net carbs per serving
July 24, 2013
Back in 2008 I had a moment of "I've had it" and decided it was time to lose weight.

And I did.

Before all was said and done I'd lost about sixty pounds.

It took more than a year.

I went to Planet Fitness EVERY DAY.

I walked on the treadmill. I put in hours on the elliptical. I did the weight circuit.

I was there religiously. I went to OTHER Planet Fitness gyms when I was on vacation and visiting my mother.

I was committed and it was working.

Here's the problem: my diet was still crap. And this led to two other problems:

First, it was taking forever to lose the weight. Second, It was hard to see a measurable difference in my appearance even though my clothes were all fitting better and I was obviously losing.

I just didn't think I looked very good.

So after a while I started going every other day. Then it was twice a week, then I wound up paying for another six months and never went... but I didn't want to "quit" so I kept paying.

Does this story sound familiar?

I just realized that my frame is now smaller than it was then. I can actually get into clothes I fit into then.

(By "clothes" I mean a pair of jeans I used to be able to pull up over my belly because they got too big and are now too big once again)

Logically speaking, there's no way I've lost over 100 pounds in a couple months.

See, back in 2008 and 2009 I was losing weight but it was mostly water weight.

I wasn't losing fat because I kept eating carbs and unbalanced meals and fast food... I slowed it down a little but I was still eating it.

My estimation (based on a few factors, some of which I've already shared, some of which are more personal) is that I'm probably hovering around the 300 mark right now, maybe a little less.

And yet I'm smaller than I was five years ago at about 255.

This is why we all need to stay off the scale.

Because if I convince myself that I'm 255 and I'm 295... game over, baby. I'll be headed for the nearest pizza and washing it down with the first available beer.

So it doesn't matter. I look now like I did then. It's all good.

I remember Julie talking about two people who had about the same physique but one was 20-30 pounds heavier.

She also talked about two people who were the same weight. One looked to be the right weight for his height, the other looked chubby. Same height, same weight, totally different bodies.

It's not about numbers. It's about looking good and being well.

What number equals "well?"

Precisely.
July 22, 2013
I always wonder what my fellow "losers" eat. New ideas and variety are important and always welcome.

My favorites are:
  • Pan-fried pork Loin - Chop coated in cumin or paprika. Cook in preheated pan with little olive oil for 4mins per side..a nice crust forms.
  • Soft omelet - 2 eggs + 1 tbsp water. When beginning to set add fresh thyme leaves and one slice of thin Swiss cheese torn into bits.
  • 2 hard boiled eggs served warm with some meat.
  • Jennie-o frozen turkey burger cooked well enough to be dry like bread.
  • Shrimp sauteed with butter and cumin.
  • Smoked salmon rolled up over dill frond and capers and dab sour cream.
  • Shirred egg - Coat ramekin with butter and chopped fresh herbs...can also add chopped sauteed mushrooms...crack in one egg...pour 1 tbsp evaporated whole milk on top bake til done.
  • Bacon - only once in awhile.
  • Cube steaks with Worcestershire.
  • Veggie omelet.
  • Spinach crustless quiche - 3 eggs + 1 cup low-fat cottage cheese + garlic powder or 2-3 garlic cloves + 1 cup grated cheddar only loosely packed and put mixture in pie plate and bake at 350 about 40 minutes.
  • Dinner leftovers always good. 
 What do you eat for breakfast??
July 20, 2013
It has been fun to notice nontraditional signs of weight loss. Keep your eye out for yours...some examples...seeing the veins and bones on tops of your feet..narrower fingers...bony shoulders when showering...vertical grooves on outside of thighs...hip bones visible and palpable...smaller armpits when shaving...walking with smoother and longer strides... What are your unexpected weight loss signs?
July 19, 2013