Friend of Julie: Overcome Fear

Losing weight has helped me overcome a number of fears. But what about looking ahead? What fears arise when I look ahead in my life and all I can see is empty space? I've been working on this piece for a few months. Over time I added and deleted stories about how losing weight has helped me overcome fears, but the piece didn't feel finished. A recent life transition has given me the final piece to this story.

Photo by Theresa

The one thing about empty spaces—their very existence seems to send a message that you are ready for something new to arrive. Martha Johnson, author of "Why Not Do What You Love?"

The Ice

Last winter I was walking on ice when suddenly I realized I was walking really fast—on ice. Walking on ice was a big challenge for me when I was a size 30/32. One freezing cold January day, more than a decade ago, I stood frozen in the middle of a hill on a side road. I was literally frozen. I could not move. The road was solid ice and I was afraid to move. No--I wasn't afraid to move--I was afraid of falling. I was afraid I would fall and not be able to get up. I couldn't budge an inch. Suddenly a man appeared out of nowhere, offered me his arm, and escorted me to the other side of the road where the ground was flatter and the snow was softer. He disappeared as quickly as he appeared and I never saw him again.

It's a great feeling no longer fearing that I will fall. I don't know when this change happened, but it was a great discovery to realize I have one less fear in my life.

The Hike

At the end of May a couple of friends invited me to join them on a 7½-mile hike that would take 8 hours. My only hesitation was a project deadline a few days before the hike. Not wanting to make a promise I wasn't sure I could keep, I told them that I couldn't commit until the week of the hike. Meanwhile, I asked for more details about the hike and that's when fear hit me. There was a long list of details, but the first two freaked me out:

• Waterproof hiking boots or trail shoes REQUIRED!
• You will need to be reasonably fit to enjoy this hike. That said, if you engage in a normal level of activity, you should be fine. The first mile is very strenuous however.

I'm confident that I'm in the "reasonably fit" category, but I didn't have hiking boots. I told myself, There's no need for me to freak out, I can buy waterproof hiking boots, but what do they mean by strenuous? Slippery trails? Muddy trails? Rocks? I can do this! I told myself. I am not afraid! 

It was not feat that kept me from going to this event. After learning there were no bathrooms on this all-day hike, I decided this hike wasn't for me. After seeing a photo a friend took along the hike, I was even happier with my decision.

The Hill

It was a gorgeous Sunday morning. My friend and I hiked walked about a half mile from the lake house through the neighborhood to the Mohegan Quarry. At the beginning of the trail lots of tails were wagging at the dog park. A few minutes later, the trail took us over a half dozen rocks, where skunk cabbage announced we were crossing through a wetland. We never saw another person after that until we crossed back over the wetland. It was incredible walking the sunlight dappled trails all by ourselves.

I looked up at steep hill we were about to climb and I realized I was hesitating for a moment and then remembered: Oh, I can do this! Sometimes it isn't until I reflect back and realize I just did something that I used to be afraid of doing, but I'm not anymore. This was one of those times. I had to remind myself that I no longer needed to be afraid of going up a hill and that I would be just fine when the time came for me to go back down the hill.

Two hours later, at the foot of that same hill, I turned and looked back up the hill and smiled. I hadn't hesitated for one second about going down that hill. It was only when I reached the bottom that I remembered my earlier hesitation.

It was the memory my body has of such hills that made me hesitate. My body remembers how physically challenging hills used to be for me. Today I look at this photo and ask myself what hill?

Empty Spaces

My big transition that I mentioned a few weeks ago: I was laid off from my job. I see the empty space (the transition) as an opportunity to dream big and to change my life yet again. I'm not afraid of the empty space. Yes, there are moments when this feels scary, but I tap those fears away the same way I tap (push) away urges for foods that are not on program. Successful methods that work in one area of our lives can be applies to other areas. Tap, tap, tap!

My weight loss journey has prepared me for this transition. I've changed my life in so many ways since starting this program. All those non-scale victories built a strong foundation and not having to deal with all that extra weight is a big bonus.

After more than three years on this program, my autopilot is to set to healthy eating and exercising and that's exactly what I've done through this transition. Not once did I think about meeting up with my old buddies Ben and Jerry or going on an eating binge. Instead I spend my time networking and envisioning my new life.

What about you? What challenges are going on in your life that your weight loss journey has helped motivated and inspire you to take on? Tap away (push away) your fears, whatever they are, and keep moving forward. You can do this - you can do this program and when your life gets interrupted, you can stay the course because you have this.

All those times that you felt it was "hard" and you pushed through the tough time and stayed the course - those moments can help you push through other challenges you have in life. Tap, tap, tap!