The good news: all my Capri's from last summer are too baggy in the waist and they could slide off me at any moment. One pair fit me nicely, so I kept them and put the rest in a bin for consignment.
The bad news: I dropped all my larger clothes at a consignment store last Saturday and yesterday I discovered the pair that of Capri's I wanted to keep were nowhere to be found. I must have put them in the consignment store bins. I have no shorts or Capri's!
The good news: I'm in a size that I can go into just about any store and buy clothes.
The bad news: I discovered that I cannot just walk into any store and buy clothes! Oops! I should have listened to my key friend and had those Capri's altered at the waist.
Yesterday I walked into Marshall's full of confidence that I could buy Capri's, shorts, short skirts or summer dresses. I was determined that size didn't matter. I just wanted to buy two or three items.
The summer dresses and skirts were full-length, so I didn't try any of them on. I sifted through the racks and grabbed Capri's and shorts in size 16 and 18. I really didn't want to buy 18's...I want to be a size 14, but I need something to wear. With nine items in hand, I went into the dressing room. Nothing fit me.
I wore jeans all day yesterday and I was hot all day long, so I know I can't survive the summer in jeans. Summer is here and I have nothing to wear? Do I go back to Lane Bryant or the Avenue?
NO!
To say I was feeling a little panicked is an understatement.
So, what's a girl to do? Finish my weight loss journey — that's what I'm going to do! I'm going to keep eating clean and bump up my daily exercise. Switch up my menu, eat lower fat foods, and have more chicken and fish. Oh, I'm going to do what Julie teaches! Brilliant.
I'm at a point in my journey where my body doesn't need as much food as I used to eat. I'm starting to listen to my body. This means I'm serving smaller portions. I made chili the other night and instead of eating the whole pot for one meal, which is almost a pound of hamburger, I spread it out over two meals. Each meal time I ate the chili I two bowls, so my goal is to make the same pot of chili last for four meals. Instead of a second bowl of chili I'm going to have a side dish of green veggies.
I've stopped eating mindlessly. I was telling myself the things I was eating were okay because "it's on program." That was true, but it was also true that I was eating too much.
A new thing I've discovered about myself is that when I take a break from working on a project or something I'm focused on (other than food), once I go back to whatever I was doing my hunger goes away. I forget about having more of whatever I ate because my focus is elsewhere.
My meals are like a book — they have a beginning (cooking), middle (eating), and an end (clean up). At the end, I close the book (walk away from the leftovers) and I forget about food.
These guidelines are essential for me at this point in my journey, so I made a stickies note on my computer so I can see this daily:
- 3 coffees a day (to cut back on the amount of milk I drink)
- No wings
- Minimal take out
- No cheese
- No bacon
- No yogurt
- No stress or mindless eating
- Cut back on how much I'm eating
- 15,000 steps daily
As I write this post, I think about why I'm having to set up these guidelines for myself. Shouldn't all of this be programmed in me by now? Perhaps, but the reality I "got away" with things before now that I can no longer continue if I want reach my goal size. Since I'm no longer a size 30/32 I need to rein in what I'm doing to reach my goal.
This is a solo journey. Julie gave me the tools, but I have to implement them.
None of these thoughts are new to me. This is where I am, once again. No judgement. No little mean girl. I see myself as stuck and that this is an opportunity to change once again. I'm looking at all of this as if I'm being put through a test of patience and I'm accepting it gracefully. I accept this challenge — bring it on!
Oh, and about that tangerine skirt and white blouse photo at the top of this story — that's the type of look I want to wear. I could have bought the outfit on Saturday, I even tried on the skit and it fit nicely.
The truth is I don't want to spend that kind of money on clothes until I reach my goal, which is why I must stay steady on my journey. If I want to be successful, I have to stay the course. I must see this journey through to the end and then reap the reward of maintaining my goal size.
What about you? Do you need to clean up your eating or kick up you exercise program? Do what it takes to stay on your journey. Let's do this! And let's do this with great enthusiasm!
I have been to Saver's to buy clothes while losing. It's a hit or miss with it but prices are reasonable for "temporary" clothes. Check it out if you have the time.
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