Odd Feeling

I am having the odd feeling that as I become smaller, I will more vulnerable (to what I dont know) and less significant. Does anyone else have this sensation? It is a kind of fear that is surprising to me.

5 comments:

  1. I feel the opposite. I wonder why you feel this way. You are getting leaner and stronger, or do you perhaps associate weight with power somehow? My niece, who has 175 to lose, just mentioned to me that her biggest fear is that people treat her differently after her weight loss. I believe it is psychological. You can help yourself by just taking a few quiet minutes to ponder this matter and hopefully you will figure out why you feel this way. But, don’t forget that you are on the right track.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the taking the time to reply, Trudy. Your support alone is helpful to me. I too think this is psychological - guess I can just notice it, not judge it, and put it aside. Maybe it has to to with being afraid that the weight loss won't continue or is just temporary as in so many times in the past - I may be afraid to succeed as it were. Maybe at some deep, sad level, I don't think I deserve to be fit and trim again as in my 20s and early 30s. Gotta keep working on that self-esteem thing!! Thanks.

      Delete
  2. Bummer... I just wrote a really long reply, but somehow didn't hit "publish" and it all went away! It was all wise wisdom too.

    I'll get back into that mind set in a minute and post it again!

    ReplyDelete
  3. First things first: seeing your fear is the first step to overcoming it.

    Studies indicate people have gained to "protect" themselves, so it makes sense that you might feel more vulnerable. You can work on feeling less vulnerable over time, now that you're aware of this feeling. You don't need to be obese for feel safe.

    Remember Julie telling "I will not die"? You will not die (from starvation like other diets made us feel) and you are safe even though you are smaller.

    Certainly you are not less significant. If anything you are more significant. Because you've successfully lost weight. Because you have changed your life. Because you are an example for others that they too can do this. Because you are more significant.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. wow - tears to the eyes, Theresa - thanks for your words. My former therapist said weight can be a kind of protection which I understand intellectually, but not emotionally. I mean as a heavy person I do not feel powerful (consciously) - in fact I wish I was invisible cuz I always feel like the biggest one in any room and it is very embarrassing. thank you for helping me know I am still "safe" - you are the best.

      Delete

Include your email in your message if you would like to communicate with me, as I rarely respond to messages, as this blog is no longer active.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.