Anonymous is asking for advice to her situation (
I Panicked!!):
You are right - it was NOT your free will, and I had learned do not obsess over it and things will be ok.
I
personally have had a different issue all together, and it plagues me a
bit. I finished my sessions with Julie around the end of August. I
have the most horrible cravings around PMS time (does anyone else?) I
have been able to make it through ... until this past weekend. I ate
some Keebler grasshopper cookies. I am attempting to put it behind me
and move on. Doing just as awesome as before - meat, veggie etc.
I
think I am needing a place to admit that I did it and also ask if
anyone thinks I should call and make an appt. again with Julie ... I
don't want to go back to what I used to do. I have lost almost 2 sizes
in just these two months and I have been doing so good ...
MaryJane is also asking for advice (
Roots of Obesity Documentary):
I'm also so grateful to have found Julie. I've been on her plan for 8
months and have never strayed (which is quite a miracle after years of
trying ever diet known to man and never having lasting success). I do
have quite a problem which I'm now facing. Since losing so much weight
(and being in my sixties) my skin is really sagging.
Now, I've seen
this discussed previously, but I'm not in a position for any surgery and
just can't wear any of those compression garments. But the main
problem is that I really am developing a bad sef image due do this
excess skin and massive wrinkles.
At least when I was fatter, I had
prefectly taught skin ( of course it was packed full of fat which I know
is not healthy). I only mention this because recently I'm beginning to
think that perhaps I should not continue with this program as I do not
want to end up just a skeleton with skin hanging everywhere.
Don't get
me wrong, I still have a ways to go (most people would consider me
overweight I'm sure), however, I don't know if this skin problem should
be a deal breaker. There is only so much exercise one can do when your
skin becomes this far gone (must be why all the candidates on extreme
weight loss opt to have the surgery). Since that is not an option for
me, I just wanted a little reinforcement that even tho my skin is far
less than optimal now, that having lost all that weight is still the
healthier alternative.
Does anyone else ever have such feelings; and,
how to you push those thoughts out of your mind. I know we can't turn
back the hands of time, but I am so envious of anyone that discovers
this at a earlier age when their skin is able to "snap" back. HELP!!!
To Anonymous-we are human. We all make mistakes. Some of us have never strayed and had great success. Some of us may have strayed-and still had great success(I put myself in this camp). I'm maintaining my size 8 currently and have for a good six months plus. But, I strayed before the size 8. I did it as a 12...as a 10... I now know what to do to drop the weight-I go straight to meat and veggies. And, I'm close to dropping another size as well. I haven't seen Julie since January 2012(I joined July 2011). That said, I also work out daily and am training for a half marathon, so no doubt that is helping me too. But I can go and do meats and veggies no problem when my mind is set to it.
ReplyDeleteSo yes you caved. You now admitted your mistake. Move on. Leave it in the past. It's all about your mind set. Go back to meat and veggies. If you find yourself straying again, I would call. But own this. You can do it. Remember-we are all human. Don't beat yourself up over it. You've got this!!!!
And MaryJane-I'm 32, and I have lots of extra skin too(twins at 27, another baby 19 months later), and then lots of weight loss. I do wear Spanx though. But I wanted to add, I work out 5+ days a week, and run over 20 miles/week while I train for a half marathon. And you know what?!? That darn skin is still there!!! I think you need to look past the skin. We've all got it, some hide it better than others. Embrace it. And embrace how far you've come. Don't let the extra skin stand in your way. If we did, I don't think any of us would be successful. You've done great! Keep it up!!
Hi MaryJane. I have thought quite a bit about this myself. I am 62, and my skin doesn't have the elasticity that it did when I was younger and lost weight. I joked with my partner a while ago that I was going to look like a basset hound and he said "Then we'll just hang you upside down".
ReplyDeleteI think we each have to feel out for ourselves what is most hurtful, most detrimental, to our living full, creative, and healthy lives. For me, although I don't like the idea of being wrinkled, don't like to even imagine how my breasts, which are very large, are going to look when they are hanging to my waist, I know that those feelings are much easier for me to handle, even to laugh at, than the shame, the terror about serious health issues, the damage to my self-confidence, through feeling hijacked by my food addictions, the incredible loss of precious life time to the constant obsession about what I should or shouldn't eat.
Changing something as deep seated as what we are all attempting to change is huge-an act of tremendous courage, a leap of faith-and whenever we challenge such ancient and strong patterns all kinds of fears come up. They are different for each of us. Part of what has been different for me about this time is that I am really focusing on my body from the inside out-giving it what it/we need to feel good, to have vital energy, to be able to participate fully in what we love....rather than from the outside in. Now of course that doesn't mean entirely that I don't care what I look like. I do. But when I ask myself would I rather have diabetes than wrinkles, would I rather leave my life partner prematurely because of heart disease or wrinkles, would I rather be depressed and tired or have wrinkles, the answer is pretty clear...I'll take the wrinkles any day. I won't like them, but those are the hard choices. For me, anyway.
But there are also ways to compromise. I have an 81 year old cousin who is probably about 10 pounds over her "ideal" weight (whatever that is), but when she loses more weight she begins to look more haggard and feels she looks older, so she has settled on her present weight. It does not represent a health threat to her. She has never had a problem with blood sugar levels, with blood pressure, etc.
So, we can't have it all. It's always about trade offs and the only thing that seems critical to me is to honestly face what those trade offs are and then choose. When I read your words about being a "skeleton with skin hanging off of it" it seemed to me that your mind may be telling you some unduly scary stories. Is there a way to be kind to yourself, to celebrate how much healthier you are becoming, to know that you will not become a "skeleton", and to grudgingly accept the wrinkles?
Good luck!
Eva
Thank you very much Jennifer for your response. I would need head to toe spanx which would not quite work but I certainly do appreciate your insights. I was going to say that I feel as tho I've just changed one malady for another. I have always felt like a second class citizen (and many times been unduly treated) as a direct result of being overweight my entire life. Now, that I don't always feel like the "biggest person in the room" I now have some of the same feelings. I never wanted to go out or be seen because I was so heavy - not I don't want to go out or be seen because I'm looking older and wrinkled. ---- Then, I read Eva's comments and I now have tears in my eyes... What the hell am I complaining about??? I AM HEALTHIER. Diabetes which ran in my family (my grandmother had both her legs removed and my mother was insulin dependent till she had a heart attack and died at 52) will not be a part of my life. That alone makes these wrinkles look better already. I just want to thank all of you for caring and responding. I needed that dose of reality. I can breathe better, I can move better, my health has to be better. I have not had any sugar for 8 months, so diabetes has to be eliminated from my life. For that I am truly grateful --- loose skin be damned.
DeleteI may not look as young or as taut as I did 8 months ago - but I'm still here (which I may not have been if not for this program). Thanks for listening and thanks again for your words of true inspiration.
This is what we are all here for MaryJane - to help each other grow and learn. The shame so many of us have carried flourishes in the dark...and your courage in bringing it out into the light of day is a really important step because once the shame is in the light of day it begins to diminish. I have realized, with some amazement, that in this culture it is more shameful to be overweight than to be morally bereft, alcoholic, stupid, cruel, a corporate criminal, etc, etc. What insanity!
DeleteOne of the things, and there are others, that I like about getting older is that it becomes impossible to hide from the fact that ALL of our bodies are imperfect, that we are all going to sag, wrinkle and yes, eventually die. This culture so prizes youth, is so phobic about physical imperfection. The ads which talk about "staying young" piss me off! No, no one "stays young". We may stay creative, intelligent, become wiser, retain vital energy, but we all age. Sort of levels the playing field.
The other thing about shame, about not wanting to go out because of what people will think of you, is that most people, just like us, are so preoccupied with themselves and so worried about what everyone else is thinking about them that in actuality they probably barely give you and your wrinkles a moment's thought. And if they are shallow enough to be judgmental about your appearance they should get a life.
Eva
Re; "Talking to Julie". Many times in their posts people refer to wondering if they should talk to Julie. Aside from going from refresher sessions, I didn't know that there was any way to talk with Julie. Is she available for individual sessions/consults?
ReplyDeleteThanks,
Eva