While searching for an old email this morning, I found a message from my California friend Mary, who I've known since I was six. Her message was in response to my blog post Live in the Moment (7/23/13), in which I expressed my frustration at how long my journey was taking while others passed me by and reached their goals. Inspired by her words of encouragement, I want to share the gift of her message with all of you.

December 2000 (my California friend on right)
Going through my email, I reread this piece which feels, to me, so honest. We do so often get discouraged in our journeys and we have to remind ourselves of our successes and remember to keep our eyes on the prize.
Think of it like attending college. Sure, lots of folks finished school before you... and perhaps even the people who started the same time as you finished sooner. Some semesters are better and easier than others—our grades higher, the work is more fluid and easier to learn.
It seems like a long process when you are in it, and like so many sacrifices have to be made. And they do. And you make them because the final goal is what is important to you—more important than being able to buy a new car and eat that big piece of cheesecake.
All you can do is live in the moment—get through that paper, study for that final, finish one semester and then the next, until one day, you’re standing there with that master’s degree in your hand thinking “WOW! I did it!”
You can’t waste time in the middle of it or cry “Boo hoo, I haven’t graduated yet,” because the important thing is that you’re there—focused—and intent upon the reward that you know awaits you at the end—a better life, deeper satisfaction, greater physical and mental health, stronger self-confidence and self—esteem.
So, you are right. Get into the moment and ENJOY every minute of it because it is your WONDERFUL life and you ARE on the right road and heading in the right direction.

 Consider this. Yesterday I spoke with Jane. She weighs 77 pounds now. She has to walk with a walker. Last week she fell and broke a rib. Her MS and the complications from the chemo she did to fight her breast cancer have essentially made her disabled and she is barely 60 years old. She is having a hard time coming to terms with her own self-image; she is no longer the buff massage therapist she once was. But she is still Jane, regardless of her body’s strengths or weaknesses. She is trying to focus on that.

 Think of what a blessing it is to have a healthy body. Appreciate it. Use it. It is a gift.
I agree with my friend—having a healthy body is a blessing. I only need to look back four years to remember how I unhealthy I was and how I could barely walk five minutes in my size 30/32. I appreciate that I have a choice to be healthy or not—many others do not have this choice. This choice is a gift that I proudly accept.

What about you? Will you accept your choice as a gift?


Related Stories

May 15, 2015
I had a conversation with a key friend yesterday that a few of you may relate to. She gave me permission to share this story, but I changed her name in this story to Nikki.

Nikki:
I just ate three spoonful's of ranch dressing. You know, the creamy homemade hidden valley kind. I ate some with my dinner and then I ate three more spoonfuls after dinner. I ate the dressing like a special treat, as if it was ice cream.
This is something that I've never done before! Since I began this program two and a half years ago, I have never eaten anything I shouldn't have. I know ranch dressing is a condiment and that I shouldn't be eating it by the spoonful.
Some people crave sugar, but I crave saltiness. I've always been more of a tortilla/Doritos chip and dip snacker kind of girl with no sweet tooth. I miss tortilla chips. I don't miss cake or cookies or bread or pasta. I miss salty foods.
I'm not really sure what I'm trying to ask you, but I could use some guidance.
My Response:

The way you interact with ranch dressing is similar to how I am with yogurt. I have trouble with yogurt and no matter how much I promise myself (and everyone else) I'm not going to eat it, I still do. I have long periods of time when I'm able to push yogurt cravings away, but then I cave in again.

I convince myself yogurt isn't going to make me obese again. This is a gray area. This is making up my own program and not following the program as I learned it. This can lead to a plateau.

I've been on this weight loss journey for more than four years and I'm SO ready to be at my goal size. Every time I choose yogurt in an inappropriate way (too much) I'm pushing myself further away from reaching my goal.

I must decide a) goal size, or b) yogurt.

You have a choice to make too: a) goal size, or b) ranch dressing.

Each time we choose A over B, we teach our bodies not to trust us and our goal size pushes out further from us.

We must choose A so we can reach our goal. Otherwise, this program this will be like a diet that we never get off.

We aren't meant to stay in the river for the rest of our lives. We're supposed to do this program once and be done. We return to the river as we cycle through maintenance and after that a few times a year to drop back to our goal size.

You've inspired me Nikki!

I choose option A.

What about you? Will you choose A too?
May 14, 2015
Note to self: saying that I want to walk 15,000 steps every day requires having a plan. It does not happen without a plan. Realizing at 10:15 pm that I'm shy 5,000 steps of my daily goal—is not a plan! Having this realization is not a plan either.
Don't let your little mean girl (inner critic) run around telling you failed because you only walked 10,500 steps. There will be days when walking 15,000 steps is not possible. Feel good about the amount of exercise you do and accept the times when it just can't happen.

Last night my little mean girl was all over me because I called it quits at 11,359 steps—I didn't reach my daily goal of 15,000 steps.

Hush little mean girl, hush!

Remember this: there was a time when you couldn't walk for five minutes.

Move on and make a plan so this doesn't happen frequently.

Enough about me—what's you plan to reach your daily exercise goals?
May 14, 2015
I bought corn at a local farm this week and I enjoyed every bite of my fresh sweet corn. This morning one of my key-friends mentioned it isn't corn season yet. What? Say it isn't true! This morning I searched online to find out when is corn season and where does off-season corn come from. Here's what I found, along with some great tips for cooking corn...
When is corn season?
  • Corn season is mid-July to early October.
Where does off-season corn come from? 
  • I couldn't find the answer to this question. If I really want to know, I'll need ask the farm where I bought the corn.
Tips for cooking corn*
  • Buy and eat corn on the same day. The older the corn gets the starchier it will become.
  • Try to not to refrigerate fresh corn. Like tomatoes, when corn is chilled it loses some of its sparkle.
  • If you prefer to boil corn instead of steaming it in the husk on the grill like I suggest, try this:
    1) Cut the top of the ear off with a sharp knife about 1 to 2 inches below where the silk appears.
    2) Next peel down the husk one section at a time and carefully tug the silk along with the husk. 3) Continue until you are all the way around the cob. This is the best way to remove the silk.
  • If you are in polite company or just got your new false teeth, you always can shave the kernels off the cob (after they have been seasoned) with a sharp knife. Simply make sure the top and bottom of the ear have been cut flat, then hold the corn vertically on a cutting board and run the knife down the ear about 1/2 inch into the cob removing just the kernels. If you get into rough territory and the knife just won’t go through the kernels, that means your knife is too far into the cob and all you have to do is start again with the blade closer to the kernels.
  • Always use fresh lime with this dish. The additional acidity makes this go from a good dish to a sublime taste experience that will change your life forever.
How much corn are we allowed on program?
  • Do you want to eat three ears of corn? Go ahead, but make sure you eat three steaks along with it. Eat as much corn as you want - as long as you have an equal amount of protein to corn. 

Related Posts

*Source: Corn, Mexican Style, by By Rocco DiSpirito, MassLive
May 13, 2015
It's summer time and my grill is the focus of my cooking method. I found this Barbecue Mexican Corn recipe and modified the ingredients to fit the key program. You may choose to pass on adding butter or oil since there is also mayo in this recipe. You might also adjust the amount of cotija cheese.


Photo by Matthew Mead
Rocco DiSpirito's easy-to-make barbecue Mexican corn offers big flavor without giving you a big gut.
 

Cooking Time Start to Finish: 20 minutes

Ingredients
  • 1/4 cup mayonnaise
  • 1 teaspoon barbecue spice rub (use your favorite)
  • 4 ears local corn, in their husks
  • Butter or olive oil
  • 1/2 cup (about 2 ounces) cotija cheese, grated
  • 2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro
  • 1 lime, cut into 4 wedges
Directions
  1. Heat a grill or grill pan to high.
  2. In a small bowl, mix the mayonnaise and barbecue spice rub. Set aside.
  3. Place the corn, in their husks, on the grill or pan and allow to steam cook for about 5 minutes per side.
  4. Peel back some husk and check for tenderness. When corn is tender, remove from the heat but leave the grill on or the pan over the heat. Cut 1 inch off the top of the cobs. Grasp the husk, along with the silk, and peel the husks off the cob like a banana. Continue peeling back the husks around the rest of the cob. Peeling them back together in this way creates a handle for holding the cob.
  5. Lightly coat the corn with butter or olive oil and place on the hot grill or pan. 
  6. Grill until the kernels begin to develop grill marks and become charred, about 2 to 3 minutes.
  7. Turn the cobs occasionally.
  8. Using a pastry brush, brush the mayonnaise mixture onto each cob. 
  9. Sprinkle the cheese and cilantro over the cobs. 
  10. Serve immediately with lime wedges.

Related Posts

*Source: Corn, Mexican Style, by By Rocco DiSpirito, MassLive
May 13, 2015
I had just big discovery: I am eating way too much fat. Seriously way too much fat. Why didn't I see this sooner? Because I was living in the grey area of this program. You may be asking what grey area? Great question! There is no grey area —you are either on program or you're off. The grey area is the third program — a program that you and I made up. And guess what — it doesn't work.
Here's my discovery as it unfolded for me this morning...
11:10AM
As I mixed salad dressing into a large bowl with coleslaw and carrots, I glanced over at the plastic containers of ham salad and sriracha chicken salad that I bought from the deli last night.That's when it hit me: I'm not losing weight because I'm eating way too much fat. 
11:20AM
I plated the salads, took the photo above, and then I tossed the jar of dressing into the trash, despite the fact that there's still more dressing inside the bottle. I headed upstairs to my computer to eat lunch and begin writing this post. 
11:22AM
The right thing to do, I told myself as I took a bite of chicken salad, would be to cut back on these salads. It's too much food and it's too much fat. Or not eat everything on my plate. Or toss everything and go for something else.

11:30AM
I made the choice to eat everything on my plate. As I ate my chicken salad, I kept looking at the MOUND of ham salad. I really should not eat all of this. 
11:32AM
Continuing my inner dialogue: I know that I will eat the rest of the coleslaw for dinner tonight, despite the fact that I know I've already had too much fat today and I'm not even done eating my lunch.
Despite the fact that I have more coleslaw than chicken in the refrigerator, I know, as I type this, that I will eat all of that coleslaw for dinner tonight.  I'm leaving town for a few days and my kitty-sitter won't eat it. 
11:35AM
I debated about posting this today or waiting until tomorrow.
I don't want anyone to call me on my choice to eat the rest of that salad tonight.
I don't want anyone to call me right now and convince me to stop eating the coleslaw that is on my plate. 
11:37AM
This weight loss journey is all about choices. I'm going to make the right choice right now. Right this moment I am choosing to stop this insanity of eating too much fat. I'm taking this plate downstairs and throwing away the coleslaw that's on my plate and in the refrigerator. 
11:40AM
I'm done. I fell into this fatty lunch today because I didn't plan ahead. When I stopped for groceries last night I decided chicken would take too long, so I ordered deli salads and picked up ingredients to make coleslaw.
This is what's between me and the size I want to be: fat, fat, fat. I'm done with eating all this fat.

I've been making myself promises and lists of foods I'm going to avoid. I never had a list before. Why do I need one now? I needed a list because something was off. I was off-program. I was eating too much food and too much fat.

I wasn't tuning into the clue that it felt hard to be on program. Anytime this program feels hard, I'm doing something wrong.

I seized the moment and I took my power back. I choose to eat clean right here and now.

What about you? Are you eating too much fat? Are you eating too much food? Are you playing in the grey area? There is no grey area on this program. The grey area is the third program, the program that we make up instead of following Julie's program.

Get the fat out of here —go back to eating clean and losing weight!

May 07, 2015
Do you resent the efforts you have to put into losing weight? It's time to embrace choices that support what you want: to lose weight and reach your goal size! It's time to become enthusiastic about your journey and allow your enthusiasm to energize your choices and your process.

I had a good news / bad news experience this week, but now that I'm on the other side of it, I'm enthusiastic about my journey once again. Here's my good news / bad news story...

The good news: all my Capri's from last summer are too baggy in the waist and they could slide off me at any moment. One pair fit me nicely, so I kept them and put the rest in a bin for consignment.

The bad news: I dropped all my larger clothes at a consignment store last Saturday and yesterday I discovered the pair that of Capri's I wanted to keep were nowhere to be found. I must have put them in the consignment store bins. I have no shorts or Capri's!

The good news: I'm in a size that I can go into just about any store and buy clothes.

The bad news: I discovered that I cannot just walk into any store and buy clothes! Oops! I should have listened to my key friend and had those Capri's altered at the waist.

Yesterday I walked into Marshall's full of confidence that I could buy Capri's, shorts, short skirts or summer dresses. I was determined that size didn't matter. I just wanted to buy two or three items.

The summer dresses and skirts were full-length, so I didn't try any of them on. I sifted through the racks and grabbed Capri's and shorts in size 16 and 18. I really didn't want to buy 18's...I want to be a size 14, but I need something to wear. With nine items in hand, I went into the dressing room. Nothing fit me.

I wore jeans all day yesterday and I was hot all day long, so I know I can't survive the summer in jeans. Summer is here and I have nothing to wear? Do I go back to Lane Bryant or the Avenue?

NO!

To say I was feeling a little panicked is an understatement.

So, what's a girl to do? Finish my weight loss journey — that's what I'm going to do! I'm going to keep eating clean and bump up my daily exercise. Switch up my menu, eat lower fat foods, and have more chicken and fish. Oh, I'm going to do what Julie teaches! Brilliant.

I'm at a point in my journey where my body doesn't need as much food as I used to eat. I'm starting to listen to my body. This means I'm serving smaller portions. I made chili the other night and instead of eating the whole pot for one meal, which is almost a pound of hamburger, I spread it out over two meals. Each meal time I ate the chili I two bowls, so my goal is to make the same pot of chili last for four meals. Instead of a second bowl of chili I'm going to have a side dish of green veggies.

I've stopped eating mindlessly. I was telling myself the things I was eating were okay because "it's on program." That was true, but it was also true that I was eating too much.

A new thing I've discovered about myself is that when I take a break from working on a project or something I'm focused on (other than food), once I go back to whatever I was doing my hunger goes away. I forget about having more of whatever I ate because my focus is elsewhere.

My meals are like a book — they have a beginning (cooking), middle (eating), and an end (clean up). At the end, I close the book (walk away from the leftovers) and I forget about food.

These guidelines are essential for me at this point in my journey, so I made a stickies note on my computer so I can see this daily:
  • 3 coffees a day (to cut back on the amount of milk I drink)
  • No wings
  • Minimal take out
  • No cheese
  • No bacon
  • No yogurt
  • No stress or mindless eating
  • Cut back on how much I'm eating
  • 15,000 steps daily
I know I won't have to keep looking at this list, but for now, it's what I need to do to evolve my weight loss journey. A friend suggested it may be time for me to switch to a different diet. I understand her thinking, but no this is not the solution for me. My solution is to follow this program, reach my goal, learn maintenance, and then live my life without being this focused-on food.

As I write this post, I think about why I'm having to set up these guidelines for myself. Shouldn't all of this be programmed in me by now? Perhaps, but the reality I "got away" with things before now that I can no longer continue if I want reach my goal size. Since I'm no longer a size 30/32 I need to rein in what I'm doing to reach my goal.

This is a solo journey. Julie gave me the tools, but I have to implement them.

None of these thoughts are new to me. This is where I am, once again. No judgement. No little mean girl. I see myself as stuck and that this is an opportunity to change  once again. I'm looking at all of this as if I'm being put through a test of patience and I'm accepting it gracefully. I accept this challenge — bring it on!

Oh, and about that tangerine skirt and white blouse photo at the top of this story — that's the type of look I want to wear. I could have bought the outfit on Saturday, I even tried on the skit and it fit nicely.

The truth is I don't want to spend that kind of money on clothes until I reach my goal, which is why I must stay steady on my journey. If I want to be successful, I have to stay the course. I must see this journey through to the end and then reap the reward of maintaining my goal size.

What about you? Do you need to clean up your eating or kick up you exercise program? Do what it takes to stay on your journey. Let's do this! And let's do this with great enthusiasm!
May 06, 2015