Friend of Julie: What's Your Secret?

How much time do you spend thinking about your size? Before I started Key Hypnosis, I didn't walk around thinking how obese I was; I was oblivious to my size. However, since I started losing weight, I walk around wishing I was a smaller size all the time. I need to figure out how to stop this obsession.

July 2009                                       Feb. 2014

Last Saturday morning a friend sent me this photo (above) from the summer of 2009. I looked at that photo next to the selfie I had taken the night night before (above) and I thought to myself "Well, Theresa, there is no denying that you are many sizes smaller today than you were in 2009 - just look at these two photos!"

I remember the moment my friend took that photo in 2009. I did not want my photo taken and I froze; hence the goofy smile. I remember thinking "well, at least I'm wearing my favorite blouse."

Instead of being happy she captured a fun moment in time, what I was wearing was paramount. Until the camera came out, I was having a wonderful lunch with a friend I've known since I was 6 years old. Stopping to take this photo disrupted my fun, because the moments before having my photo taken gave me time to pause and time to remember: I am obese.

It's 2014 and I'm no longer obese. I don't mind having my photo taken. In fact I take a lot of selfies. Looking back at where I was re-energizes me, motivates me, and allows me to feel proud of my journey. It also affirms I am smaller. Lots smaller.

Two days ago, as I was walking towards Tailgate, my favorite deli in South Hadley where everyone knows my name (Cheers), I ran into a colleague and that interaction gave me new insight into my obsession.

What's your secret?" my colleague asked me as she stepped up on the sidewalk and shut her car door.

"What secret?" I had no idea what she was talking about.

"How did you lose so much weight?" she asked.

It was a light bulb moment for me: I don't always walk around thinking about being a smaller size!

I started to tell her about the hypnosis, but she interrupted me.

"Oh no, I'm not going to do that. Just tell me what you eat." she said.

Sigh. Where do I begin? I told her I eat a lot of protein and...

"Oh no, I'm not going to do that either. Do you have anything written down?"

I gently suggested she pick up the South Beach or Atkins diet book. You have to be all in this program or it's not going to work.

I had locked into the idea that I was obsessed with constantly thinking about my size, only to discover, when my colleague asked me what my secret was and I clueless as to what she was talking about, that I wasn't as obsessed as I thought.

Author Rhonda Byrne writes about the stubbornness of thought and how once you think something, it's very difficult to eradicate that idea from your mind. The late, social psychologist Dan Wegner described this as "the great irony of mental control: in order to insure that you aren’t thinking about an unwanted idea, you have to continually turn your mind to that very idea. How do you know that you aren’t thinking of a white bear driving a red Ferrari unless you think about whether you’re thinking it?"

Source: "The Powerlessness of Positive Thinking," by Adam Alter, The New Yorker, 2/19/14.