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| Photo source: Etsy |
Congratulations Carol for you success in dropping 3 sizes! You are not alone in feeling the way you do about slow weight loss and how you look in the mirror. I've experienced both and many others who read this blog have too.
Let's looks at your questions up close and personal and see if we can turn this around for you.
Slow Weight loss
I too was frustrated with how slow my weight came off. A couple weeks ago, a little over three years on this program, I realized I was still complaining about this and I decided the time had come for me to change my tune. I was tired of singing Wah, Wah, Wah and I decided to focus on the positive instead of the negative.
How did I change my tune? I reflected back to where I've been, where I am today, and I took a good look in the mirror . . .
You are Down Three Sizes
Celebrate your new size and appreciate where you are today. Plateaus are part of the journey, as our body slows down to heal itself. Ask yourself: physically and mentally - do you feel better in a 16/18 or size 22/24? When was the last time you were a 16/18? Celebrate your success and keep doing what you've been doing.
I'm no longer a 30/32. Hello! This is really big and sometimes I too forget where I've been. Today I'm between a 14-18, in real women's sizes, not large women's clothing. In fact, I can't find anything to fit me in large women's stores anymore, although once in a while I go in and give it another try. Okay, so I bought undies (size 14) at Lane Bryant few months ago, but it was only because I had a gift card. The last time I was able to shop in regular clothing stores was the early 1990's and the last time I was able to wear a size 14 was 1984.
Disappointed in Not Being Smaller
Okay, so you want to be down more. Don't let yourself get caught up playing that song, stop it now! What's the alternative here - quitting and gaining back all the weight you lost? Not an option right?
I struggled with this issue too, cue music: I wanna be smaller, wah, wah, wah. Well guess what? I am smaller and so are you! Celebrate and focus on how much smaller you are today.
One of the things that gets me singing that song again is when I compare my weight loss journey to others; cue music. There are many factors as to why some lose faster than others. I can't begin to understand them, although I have tortured myself trying to figure this out - I stopped trying.
My journey is what it is and I'm so happy to be the size I am today and no longer a 30/32. When I remember where I've been, it helps me be put things back into perspective and appreciate the size I am today.
It's Taking So Long
When was the last time you stayed with a weight loss program for 8 months? How long has it been that you've maintained this size (or any size) for this long? Would you prefer a) taking a long time to drop to the next size or b) going up a size?
Cue music, Why is this taking so long? This is yet another verse and one we need to stop singing. It doesn't matter how long it takes to reach our goal size. What matters is that we keep moving forward. Time is going to pass whether we stay the course or not.
Whining, cue music, When Can I Eat X or Y Again? only keeps the music playing. If not eating X or Y means we get to maintain the size we are today, then let's not worry about when we can have those foods again.
Let's stop all this music and stop feeling sorry for ourselves for not being able to eat like others, as this keeps the music playing over and over again. Eating like others is what put all that extra weight on us. We may or may not ever be able to eat like others, so let's get over this and focus on how good it feels to finally look like others (no longer obese). Our key-food choices allow us to avoid foods that we seem to have allergic reactions to in ways others do not. For us, non-key food puts weight on us; key foods do not. We choose which foods we eat, so let's stop this song too.
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
Mirrors and photographs often reflect what we want to see. Some people look in the mirror and see a thin person when they are quite heavy, and others look in the mirror and see a fat person, but in reality they're underweight. Take photos and take them often. Further along in your journey those photos will show your reality - you are smaller than you used to be. You're probably smaller than you think you are too.
Most people struggle with seeing the changes in the mirror. People at goal size struggle with this too. This is something each of us must come to terms with or we will gain our weight back. We are what we think we are and the sooner in our journey we start to see ourselves as we really are the better.
I'm still working on this issue, but I realize this is part of the journey and I'm determined to work this through. Last week I tried on a floor-length dress and when I looked in the mirror I had mixed feelings. A part of me felt WOW and another part of me only focused on the roundness of my hips, cue music, Oh Those Hips. No, stop! Cue music, Wow! Much better.
Can I Eat This or That?
I continue to refine what I'm eating. Recently I was reminded that Julie teaches us to shop on the outside parameter of the grocery store, where food is fresh and less likely to be processed. This was big and I realized there were items inside the isles that I was eating that are not key-friendly. Step away from the center isles.
The key program has evolved over the years, as do most programs based on research studies. Some of us were told we could have X and others were told we couldn't have X. Go by what you learned in your classes.
That said, I have been persuaded to take a second look at some of my food choices. This morning I cooked chicken and decided to skip the mayo today and have just plan chicken. We can have mayo, but we have to be mindful of the amount of fat we're eating. Today I was mindful and I chose not to have mayo.
Sometimes I think about all this way too much. Everything I need to know about this program is my mind and I don't need to over complicate things. The later is hard to do, but sometimes it comes as a great relief to me when I realize I'm complicating things and I just stop thinking so much.
Wah, Wah, Wah
I'm SO over all the complaining and it feels great! I encourage you to do the same as soon as possible. Don't wait 3 years to stop complaining or worse - don't allow your frustration, with how slow you feel your progress is going, to drive you off program entirely.
Change your tune today!
Great post, Theresa! Good advice for us all.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this. I am one of those 8 months and 2 1/2 size people. I get discouraged by the excitement in others posts (bragging it feels like - cue music) when they lose quickly. You spoke to so many of my personal issues.
ReplyDeleteYesterday I visited the doctor. This was the first time I knowingly wanted to see my weight. I needed to wrap some data around what I feel and look like. I'm glad I did. It was a reality check. Twenty five pounds is all I've lost but doesn't that correspond to 2 1/2 sizes? I thought I had lost more because I felt better than 25 lbs down. I can look at my food choices with a little better understanding. I don't have plans to check my weight again but I do think I have a better idea of what size changes mean in terms of lbs. The best news is a lower fasting blood sugar (doctor calls me normal!) no medication for diabetes, and best of all still being in the river after 62 years of failure in weight control.
You nailed it all right on Theresa!!! LOVE THIS POST!!!
ReplyDeleteCarol, you are not alone!! I am a VERY slow looser too! But after over 2 years on program without stepping off, I have come to realize, it is what it is. From a 26-28 to a 12-16, I will take it!
I have NEVER stuck to a program for so long without jumping off! I have never been on a program that is so EASY! I have never enjoyed food so much as I do now!
It is going to take as long as it does and that is how it is for me!
Do I see it in the mirror every time I look in one, NO! Most of the time I don't see weight loss at all. I just have to look at my tags and know it has happened and to have faith in myself that I have lost weight and will continue to do this program as Julie says.
Once in a while I do see the loss and it shocks me totally! I enjoy the moment when I do see it!
Relax and enjoy the ride Carol! You WILL get there!!
That's exactly where I am in my journey - good timing for me to read this post. Most days I still feel fat - then I look at pictures from a year ago and realize I'm not! Or at least not as fat as I was. Waiting for a much needed refresher.
ReplyDeleteTheresa, once again you inspired me. I have been struggling the last couple of months and I need to change my tune. Well, I am changing it right now. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteYour observations are so correct, Theresa! When I get frustrated with the pace of this journey, I do tend to remind myself how long it took me to get so heavy. While I was not "actively" trying to gain weight, there I was, actively doing ALL the things necessary to gain weight. Overeating. Eating the wrong things. Being sedentary. Eating ALL THE TIME. And yet, with all of that, it took me about 10 years to get to the point I was at. When I look at it from that perspective, I am amazed that the weight is coming off as quickly as it is! When we are doing all the wrong things, we tend to think of every day we DON'T gain as having "gotten away with it." We think our eating is "normal." We think the bad habits don't harm us. But over time, they do. Now that we are actively doing the things we need to do to lose the weight, it will naturally take time.
ReplyDeleteTheresa, you mentioned in a prior post about how people want to know your "secret" and then reject or shut down the message when you tell them. I have found this too, and it disturbs me. It seems that in this society people are looking for the "most difficult" or "most outlandish" solution for their weight loss. Juices, cleanses, pills, anorexia, bulimia, all seem to spread like wildfire, with people embracing them eagerly. Yet mention to someone that you limit your starches, and the response is "I couldn't possibly!"
It is so sad that something as simple as controlling your appetite by managing your insulin levels is seen as some horrible, impossible, and outlandish approach, when people seem so willing to embrace the other approaches. Why would people choose to not eat at all (juices, cleanses, eating disorders) rather than limit a few of the foods they eat? Why does that seem so impossible to most people, when the severe (and some dangerous) alternatives are embraced?
Thanks for your blog, Theresa. You are encouraging and helping me!