I had just big discovery: I am eating way too much fat. Seriously way too much fat. Why didn't I see this sooner? Because I was living in the grey area of this program. You may be asking what grey area? Great question! There is no grey area —you are either on program or you're off. The grey area is the third program — a program that you and I made up. And guess what — it doesn't work.
Here's my discovery as it unfolded for me this morning...
11:10AM
As I mixed salad dressing into a large bowl with coleslaw and carrots, I glanced over at the plastic containers of ham salad and sriracha chicken salad that I bought from the deli last night.That's when it hit me: I'm not losing weight because I'm eating way too much fat. 
11:20AM
I plated the salads, took the photo above, and then I tossed the jar of dressing into the trash, despite the fact that there's still more dressing inside the bottle. I headed upstairs to my computer to eat lunch and begin writing this post. 
11:22AM
The right thing to do, I told myself as I took a bite of chicken salad, would be to cut back on these salads. It's too much food and it's too much fat. Or not eat everything on my plate. Or toss everything and go for something else.

11:30AM
I made the choice to eat everything on my plate. As I ate my chicken salad, I kept looking at the MOUND of ham salad. I really should not eat all of this. 
11:32AM
Continuing my inner dialogue: I know that I will eat the rest of the coleslaw for dinner tonight, despite the fact that I know I've already had too much fat today and I'm not even done eating my lunch.
Despite the fact that I have more coleslaw than chicken in the refrigerator, I know, as I type this, that I will eat all of that coleslaw for dinner tonight.  I'm leaving town for a few days and my kitty-sitter won't eat it. 
11:35AM
I debated about posting this today or waiting until tomorrow.
I don't want anyone to call me on my choice to eat the rest of that salad tonight.
I don't want anyone to call me right now and convince me to stop eating the coleslaw that is on my plate. 
11:37AM
This weight loss journey is all about choices. I'm going to make the right choice right now. Right this moment I am choosing to stop this insanity of eating too much fat. I'm taking this plate downstairs and throwing away the coleslaw that's on my plate and in the refrigerator. 
11:40AM
I'm done. I fell into this fatty lunch today because I didn't plan ahead. When I stopped for groceries last night I decided chicken would take too long, so I ordered deli salads and picked up ingredients to make coleslaw.
This is what's between me and the size I want to be: fat, fat, fat. I'm done with eating all this fat.

I've been making myself promises and lists of foods I'm going to avoid. I never had a list before. Why do I need one now? I needed a list because something was off. I was off-program. I was eating too much food and too much fat.

I wasn't tuning into the clue that it felt hard to be on program. Anytime this program feels hard, I'm doing something wrong.

I seized the moment and I took my power back. I choose to eat clean right here and now.

What about you? Are you eating too much fat? Are you eating too much food? Are you playing in the grey area? There is no grey area on this program. The grey area is the third program, the program that we make up instead of following Julie's program.

Get the fat out of here —go back to eating clean and losing weight!

May 07, 2015
Do you resent the efforts you have to put into losing weight? It's time to embrace choices that support what you want: to lose weight and reach your goal size! It's time to become enthusiastic about your journey and allow your enthusiasm to energize your choices and your process.

I had a good news / bad news experience this week, but now that I'm on the other side of it, I'm enthusiastic about my journey once again. Here's my good news / bad news story...

The good news: all my Capri's from last summer are too baggy in the waist and they could slide off me at any moment. One pair fit me nicely, so I kept them and put the rest in a bin for consignment.

The bad news: I dropped all my larger clothes at a consignment store last Saturday and yesterday I discovered the pair that of Capri's I wanted to keep were nowhere to be found. I must have put them in the consignment store bins. I have no shorts or Capri's!

The good news: I'm in a size that I can go into just about any store and buy clothes.

The bad news: I discovered that I cannot just walk into any store and buy clothes! Oops! I should have listened to my key friend and had those Capri's altered at the waist.

Yesterday I walked into Marshall's full of confidence that I could buy Capri's, shorts, short skirts or summer dresses. I was determined that size didn't matter. I just wanted to buy two or three items.

The summer dresses and skirts were full-length, so I didn't try any of them on. I sifted through the racks and grabbed Capri's and shorts in size 16 and 18. I really didn't want to buy 18's...I want to be a size 14, but I need something to wear. With nine items in hand, I went into the dressing room. Nothing fit me.

I wore jeans all day yesterday and I was hot all day long, so I know I can't survive the summer in jeans. Summer is here and I have nothing to wear? Do I go back to Lane Bryant or the Avenue?

NO!

To say I was feeling a little panicked is an understatement.

So, what's a girl to do? Finish my weight loss journey — that's what I'm going to do! I'm going to keep eating clean and bump up my daily exercise. Switch up my menu, eat lower fat foods, and have more chicken and fish. Oh, I'm going to do what Julie teaches! Brilliant.

I'm at a point in my journey where my body doesn't need as much food as I used to eat. I'm starting to listen to my body. This means I'm serving smaller portions. I made chili the other night and instead of eating the whole pot for one meal, which is almost a pound of hamburger, I spread it out over two meals. Each meal time I ate the chili I two bowls, so my goal is to make the same pot of chili last for four meals. Instead of a second bowl of chili I'm going to have a side dish of green veggies.

I've stopped eating mindlessly. I was telling myself the things I was eating were okay because "it's on program." That was true, but it was also true that I was eating too much.

A new thing I've discovered about myself is that when I take a break from working on a project or something I'm focused on (other than food), once I go back to whatever I was doing my hunger goes away. I forget about having more of whatever I ate because my focus is elsewhere.

My meals are like a book — they have a beginning (cooking), middle (eating), and an end (clean up). At the end, I close the book (walk away from the leftovers) and I forget about food.

These guidelines are essential for me at this point in my journey, so I made a stickies note on my computer so I can see this daily:
  • 3 coffees a day (to cut back on the amount of milk I drink)
  • No wings
  • Minimal take out
  • No cheese
  • No bacon
  • No yogurt
  • No stress or mindless eating
  • Cut back on how much I'm eating
  • 15,000 steps daily
I know I won't have to keep looking at this list, but for now, it's what I need to do to evolve my weight loss journey. A friend suggested it may be time for me to switch to a different diet. I understand her thinking, but no this is not the solution for me. My solution is to follow this program, reach my goal, learn maintenance, and then live my life without being this focused-on food.

As I write this post, I think about why I'm having to set up these guidelines for myself. Shouldn't all of this be programmed in me by now? Perhaps, but the reality I "got away" with things before now that I can no longer continue if I want reach my goal size. Since I'm no longer a size 30/32 I need to rein in what I'm doing to reach my goal.

This is a solo journey. Julie gave me the tools, but I have to implement them.

None of these thoughts are new to me. This is where I am, once again. No judgement. No little mean girl. I see myself as stuck and that this is an opportunity to change  once again. I'm looking at all of this as if I'm being put through a test of patience and I'm accepting it gracefully. I accept this challenge — bring it on!

Oh, and about that tangerine skirt and white blouse photo at the top of this story — that's the type of look I want to wear. I could have bought the outfit on Saturday, I even tried on the skit and it fit nicely.

The truth is I don't want to spend that kind of money on clothes until I reach my goal, which is why I must stay steady on my journey. If I want to be successful, I have to stay the course. I must see this journey through to the end and then reap the reward of maintaining my goal size.

What about you? Do you need to clean up your eating or kick up you exercise program? Do what it takes to stay on your journey. Let's do this! And let's do this with great enthusiasm!
May 06, 2015
Since I began this weight loss journey four years ago, I've lost a lot of things: about hundred pounds and a lot of aches and pains and swollen body parts. Inspired by my physical changes, I lost my glasses, I had Lasik eye surgery, and I lost about 12 inches of my hair. But I've found far more than I've lost on this journey: I've found a life abundant with energy and motivation.

Changes along the way: Dec. 2011  |  June 2013  |  April 2015
Things I've lost
  • Nine sizes and about 100 pounds
  • Back and hip pain 
  • Swollen legs, ankles, and hands
  • Shortness of breath
  • Prescription glasses
  • About 12 inches of hair
  • My chance of becoming diabetic
Things I Found
  • Motivation
  • Energy
  • Health
  • Endurance 
  • Attitude
  • My ability to be physically active
  • Awareness that change is an option every day
  • Creativity
Every one of these losses and gains were well worth the effort. This journey isn't just about losing weight, it's about making changes to live life to the fullest, something my obese body didn't allow me to do. As I evolve my weight loss program, by listening to my body and what it needs, I'm excited knowing my goal size is ahead and with this I will find even more in my life.

What about you? What have you lost and found on your weight loss journey? What more do you hope to find?

Stay on your weight loss journey and see what more life has in store for you. If you've taken a side trip—get back on the main road—right now. No matter how long it takes, stay the course and change your life.

If not now-then when? And why not now? Skip the psychological battle with yourself—just do it! Your life is waiting for you.

April 2015 vs September 2010

April 28, 2015
I haven't posted lately on here. Life has been so busy!

I have a few weeks off from my job at the bakery as we rest up and gear up to a busy summer season with farmers markets (yup, still working at a bakery and staying on program). So I decided to clean out my closet. YUK!  Hate that job!

Anyway, while digging through my closet, way back, in the dark recesses of the closet, I found some clothes.  I had put these clothes away when I first started on Julie's program. These clothes were hidden to remind me of where I was.

Well, first horror, absolute HORROR! Then giggles started in my room!!!!

First is a picture of me with a bathing suit that I thought helped me look THINNER!!!!
Linda standing inside one side of swimsuit
I am actually standing inside one side of that bathing suit! What in the world was I thinking when I wore it!!!!

Next is me with my favorite size 28 jumper!!!
This jumper was tight on me when I used to wear it
Was that really me? PLUS that jumper and that bathing suit were tight on me when I wore them!!!!

My husband and I just got back from a trip! This next picture was a thrill for me!!! I USED TO NEED A SEAT BELT EXTENDER!!!

No more seat belt extensions when I fly
I had fun that day I cleaned out my closet! Then, I carefully put away those old clothes away for another day when I will pull them out again and remember where I came from.

One thing I noticed, my whole total thought process has changed. On all the other plans I have been on, I always, and I mean always, no matter how I stuck to those plans, deep in my mind, I always doubted loosing all my weight and keeping it off.

This time as I played with those sad old clothes, I noticed, there is no doubt in my mind, whatsoever, that I will never gain the weight back again. This program is so ingrained in me, I live it and breathe it. It has become me!

I am 1 or 2 sizes away from my goal. I am looking forward to beginning the maintenance process when I reach that goal.

This has been a journey of intense patience, learning, laughter, tears, victories, soul searching. I have made so many new friends on this journey and shared so much with people!

How are all of you doing?

Everyone's journey is different and unique to themselves! We really do have the tools!!! I have discovered that so many times over and over again!!!

DO NOT DOUBT YOURSELVES, YOU REALLY DO KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!

I will close with another picture:
Half her size, Linda is happier in her skin than ever before
The woman who wore that suit is long gone! I feel like a butterfly who has hatched!

I will never have the perfect body (that is a whole other blog post), but I am so much happier in my skin than I have ever been before!!!!
April 09, 2015
Milk: is it the final frontier? Are you mindful of the amount of fats you take in a day? How often do you eat chicken wings, bacon, or cold cuts? Are you eating more cheese and yogurt than we're allowed? How much milk do you drink in a day? Seriously--stop and think about this--do you eat more fat than you should in a day or a week? How much is too much? You know how much is too much, but okay, let's go there...if Julie spent the entire day with you, would you change your food choices?

Up until recently, I drank 3 cups of coffee every morning, but in early March I increased my coffee consumption to 7-8 cups a day. Coffee wasn't my concern, because my mug is only half filled with coffee. My concern was the amount of hot foamy milk I added to each cup of coffee.

I put a half cup of milk in my frother and after it foams up I add it to my coffee. This equals 1½ cups of milk, which isn't a problem. That is unless I'm drinking 7-8 cups of coffee, which adds up to 3½-4 cups of milk per day. That's a whole lot of fat and that's a problem, especially considering I was also eating too much cheese and yogurt, and I wasn't exercising. Now we're talking about a big fat problem.

In addition to the amount of fat in milk–milk turns to sugar*, which is probably why I started drinking so much milk. I was using hot and foamy milk as a way to deal with stress. No amount of milk, cheese, or yogurt will resolve stress. I know this, but for nearly a month, I battled with myself and continued on with my milk, cheese, and yogurt party.

As my clothes began to feel tight I had an epiphany: Milk is the thing between me and my size 8's. I can't let a little thing like milk get in my way. It's all about the math:
No exercise + extra fat = no weight loss or weight gain.
Wait, wait, back up. Did I just say out loud that my clothes were feeling tight? Yes, I did. It was a frightful feeling that I walked around with for about a week. I freaked out. I pondered. I freaked out.

I didn't talk about it because I didn't dare. I've been doing this program for over four years and I have never had this happen: my clothes have always become loser–never tighter! I was following the program, so why were my clothes getting tighter? I had to work out the answer by myself, which is precisely what I did.

I realized I could no longer drink that much milk, and that I had to stop eating cheese and yogurt. I realized I had not been following the program.

On March 28th I decided the party was over. The next morning I cut back to 5 cups of coffee a day and five days later I cut back to two cups a day. I also broke up with yogurt and cheese. I have Parmesan in the house for meatballs and meatloaf only. When I eat out I ask them to hold the cheese. If an item comes with cheese, I will eat it, but I don't ask for it.

I looked to see where else I was eating too much fat in my diet. I don't eat chicken wings often, perhaps once a month or less. If you're eating wings several times a week, you may want to reconsider, as there isn't much chicken on them and there's a whole lot of fat. I haven't bought bacon in a long time, but I decided to no longer order bacon on my burgers. I was eating a lot of fatty meats and mystery meats. I'm stepping away from the deli counter, as I was eating bologna and salami far too often. I'm also pulling back on deli coleslaw and focusing on green veggies. I sauté kale with onions and garlic a couple times a week. It's really yummy and my new favorite vegetable.

I made one more change: I started walking again. I joined a 7am Saturday morning walking group last Saturday. I walked by myself on Sunday and Monday. On Wednesday I discovered I had lost my FitBit and by Friday I realized I had also lost my motivation to walk. Yesterday morning when I joined my walking group, I used an iPhone app to track my distance. I used the app again later that morning when I walked another 45 minutes with my friend and her dog and again when I mall walked. By the end of the day I walked a total of 11,373 steps (4.90 miles).

I'm determined nothing is going to get in my way of reaching my goal size eight this year, so on my way home last night, I picked up a FitBit Charge. My FitBit keeps me motivated plus one of the features of the Charge is it cheers you when you reach your daily goal. Who doesn't love getting cheered? It vibrates, so nobody but you knows. LOL!

This morning I walked 12,900 steps (5.56 miles) as I talked with a friend who walked in Long Beach, CA. It feels great to be walking again. Size eight–here I come!

How about you? What's in your way that's keeping you from reaching your goal? If you've been stuck in the same size, it may be time to take stock of what you're eating and how much activity you're doing.

It's time to spring into action and remove any obstacles between you and your goal size.

*Confused about milking turning to sugar in our bodies? Here's a few articles that explain this:
April 05, 2015
This recipe and photo comes to us from key-friends Andrea and Emily. Use this homemade mayo the same way you use jarred mayo. Andrea kicked things up a bit by adding garlic and grey poupon and dill to add a little more flavor to her egg salad.
Important Tip: about 1.5 hours before you're going to make this mayo, set out your eggs, lemon, and mustard, so they are reach room temperature when you begin to make this recipe.

Ingredients
  • 2 whole pastured eggs
  • 1 tbsp. apple cider vinegar
  • 3/4 tsp. salt
  • 2 tsp. prepared mustard
  • 2 cups light olive oil (not a vegetable blend)
Directions
  1. Blend eggs, vinegar, salt, and mustard in a food processor or an immersion blender
  2. While machine is running, VERY SLOWLY add oil.
  3. Continue until all of the oil has been added and the eggs and oil have formed an emulsion or Mayonnaise. 
  4. Taste for salt and adjust if needed.
  5. Store in refrigerator for up to 2 weeks.

Original recipe source: Homemade Mayonnaise
March 23, 2015
The question for today is: To Refresh or Not Refresh? Many of you want to know "is it required to go to a refresher?" and "why should I go to one?" The later is a question that only you can answer for yourself. There are various opinions on this--but no, it is not required. I've written a handful of blog posts about my experiences, so today we'll hear what our key-friend Elise has to say about refreshers.

I definitely think refreshers can be useful for folks. For many, I think just hearing Julie's powerful voice is helpful. For others, hearing a repeat of the rules and making a re-commitment to the process is necessary. I even think that, sometimes, making the appointment and committing the funds is enough to keep folks on track.

Here's an elaboration on why I haven't been to one:
  1. I'm lazy. Booking it, waiting for it, and then going all take energy.
  2. It is kind of expensive, although that's OK with me.
  3. Julie said she gave us everything in the first sessions.
When I have had questions or doubts, I sit down and think it through. I decided that if I am ever going to resolve my yo-yo weight, I need to get to a place of peace with myself. I have to learn to read my body and I have to learn to make my own decisions.

 So, I have very consciously and deliberately worked through struggles and quandaries with the goal of using the tools Julie gave me to get to the end.

 Here's an example: my first year on Key, I was at a plateau. I was frustrated and upset. In the past, I would have handled this by saying 'screw it' and bingeing. But, this time, I thought about how my body needed to heal and reabsorb blood vessels and extra cells that had been necessary when I had more weight on me.

 I looked at my eating and thought through the rules and whether or not I was following them. I found some areas that I was being excessive in (um, like drinking a 1/2 gallon of whole milk every day)!

 I changed my routine, stopped obsessing...and started losing weight again!

 Getting through that was empowering. It made me feel like, yeah, I really can do this! That, in turn, fed my confidence and good behavior.

 Ultimately, each cycle and each time I worked through my issues I was creating new habits. In other words, each time I work through something I am practicing Julie's principle of example. If I had gone to refreshers, I would have been relying on Julie for that power instead of believing in myself.

  For little things, it was helpful to also work through it in my head...
Was I really hungry or was I just eating because it tasted good?
Was I really using cheese like a condiment or was I pushing the envelope? 
I didn't want someone telling me the answer. I wanted to retrain my body and my mind to work together, honestly and in synchronicity, to reach the same answers to all the questions I had (and I will continue to have).

 But, I also think I've had it easy compared to others. I barely have cravings and I've been lucky enough to escape super long plateaus.

 To refresh or not refresh...it's a personal question custom to each person's experience.
Hmmm, I don't know about you, but I can relate to Elsie's comment about finding "areas that I was being excessive" far more than I care to admit. This in of itself is a reason you may be on a plateau. Proceed with cation if this is the case. Elsie's suggestion to "stop obsessing" is also wise wisdom!

Related Stories

March 18, 2015
Key-friend Gail Ann, who made up this recipe, says "With this diet we have to become creative. Play around with the recipe. I may use turnip next time." It's this kind of willingness that helps us succeed on this program. Thanks for sharing your recipe and your photos Gail Ann!

Ingredients
  • 2-1/4 lbs of uncooked cod chopped in blender
  • 1 head of cauliflower steamed and mashed with a pat of butter
  • 1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
  • 1 large onion chopped
  • A bunch of fresh dill chopped
  • 1 egg plus 1 egg white whisked
  • Salt, pepper, celery salt, paprika
Instructions
  1. Mix all together and make little patties. 
  2. Bake 375 on greased cookie sheet for about 20 minutes per side until nicely browned.
March 14, 2015