A key component to this weight loss program is visualization. In class Julie guides us through a long visualization and she encourages us to visualize how we want to look at our goal size. The visualization process should not end when class is over. If what we think is what we get - then I want to be mindful about what I think. Is what I'm saying preventing me from getting what I want--am I wishing for the wrong things? To answer this, I wrote a list of sentences that I say about this program that start with I wish...

Photo source: Bubblews

I wish I was a smaller size. I wish I would lose weight as fast as everyone else. I wish I was at goal size. I wish I could eat some of the foods I used to eat. I wish I could eat like everyone else. I wish I could eat more cheese. I wish this wasn't so hard. I wish there was a book or list of foods allowed on this program. I wish I knew my weight.

I'm sure there are more things I want, but this is enough inventory to take stock of and decide what's really important. Reviewing this list, I realize I already have some of these things and some of them aren't that important.

I wish I was a smaller size.
Oh, wait - I am a smaller size - I'm 8 sizes smaller than I was 3 years ago. I was a size 30/32 at the end of January 2011 when I first saw Julie. It may be hard for some to believe, but it is easy for me to forget how much weight I've lost because my weight has come off gradually. Wait - what part of losing weight gradually is bad? My ego wants to be at goal size today, but losing weight slowly is healthy. I'm doing everything I can to reach my my goal size and as long as I continue on this path I will continue to drop sizes. I'm going to stop focusing on this wish.

I wish I would lose weight as fast as everyone else.
I'm not everyone else, so I can let go of this wish too. Yes, I know others who lost their weight quicker. I also know people who are not losing weight fast. Time isn't what I should be spending my wishes on, as I have no control over time. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. It's time to stop looking at time and focus on something I can do: staying the course.

I wish I was at goal size.
This is where visualization plays a big role in this journey. To help me visualize what is realistic for me, I look at other women who are my height and body type; this is a good thing. Wishing I was at goal size is not a good thing. Why? Wishing to be somewhere other than where I am has more of a negative connotation than a positive one. To turn this around, I'm switching my focus on visualizing me at my goal size instead of wishing I was there. I'm not giving up on reaching my goal size. The difference is positive thinking: visualizing my goal as obtained versus focusing on the negative: I'm not where I want to be.

I wish I could eat some of the foods I used to eat.
This wish can only lead to a dead end. Let me be perfectly honest here - ALL of the foods I used to eat that come to mind (when I think of foods I wish I could eat) are carbs. Carbs turn to sugar and sugar is what led me to a size 30/32. Eating the way I used to is not an option. Eating some of the foods I used to eat is not an option either, at least not while I'm in the weight loss phase of this program. Meanwhile, I remain optimistic when I have cravings. I remind myself that it's just for now that I choose not to eat those food - it isn't for the rest of my life. When I reach my goal and learn how to maintain my weight, I will introduce foods that I don't eat today. I may find some of those foods are triggers for me and then avoid them. Today, I don't want to eat ANY of the foods I used to eat, so I can drop this from my wish list.

I wish I could eat like everyone else. 
Once again - I'm not everyone else. If I look around and ask myself: do I really want to eat like everyone else? The answer is no. I don't need this on my wish list for another moment.

I wish I could eat more cheese. 
Cheese is a condiment, it's not a protein, it should not be eaten by itself, and it is not to be considered the main course. Eating too much cheese can make us plateau or even gain weight. Oh no, no, no - I do not wish I could eat more cheese.

I wish this wasn't so hard. 
The simple truth is change isn't easy for most of us, but the one constant thing in our lives is that things change. In order for me to go from a size 30/32 to a size 8, I must change. I must push through whatever feels hard and stay the course. If it was easy, I would have been a size 8 years ago.  Losing weight is hard. Learning to maintain weight loss is hard. Being a size 30/32 was hard too. Life as an obese woman was hard. Nobody promised this would be easy. This journey is hard. End of story. Move along. Focus on other things.

I wish there was a book or list of foods allowed on this program.
This program is not like other weight loss programs. The book or a list you want doesn't exist. We were taught to follow what we learn in our class and not to confer with others because, like everything else in life, this program changes. The program evolves. A yogurt we once enjoyed is no longer allowed because the company changed how they made it (they added sugar). Get over it. Something I've started doing is to ask myself "if Julie were here, would I eat this?" This helps me know what is on program. In doubt - leave it out.

I wish I could know my weight. 
We don't get on the scale because those numbers mess with our head. When I first started this journey I thought I would ask my doctor to tell me after I passed the 50 pound weight loss mark. I didn't need anyone to tell me I passed that milestone because I knew this by the size of clothes I wore. Yes, every time I visit my doctor I want to know what I weigh, but I agreed not to weigh myself when I began this program and I want to keep my commitment. Remember: knowing our weight tells our mind know how much weight we need to gain back. No, I don't really want to know my weight.

My One Wish

I believe what we think is what we get out of life, so I strive to be more mindful about what I wish for and what I think about. In the big picture of life, I only have one wish for me, all my friends and family, and for all of you: I wish for all of us to have good health.

I have good health today and I worked hard to get here. But not everyone has good health. Last week friends told me they lost a friend to cancer; five friends of my friends are gone.

Today I choose to focus on what's really important in life: I choose to let myself dream big, I choose to continue to change, to evolve, to learn, and to push through the hard things in life, and I chose to live my best life. I wish this for all of us.

Tap, tap, tap.

February 08, 2014

Carbs have been calling out to me all week, but I'm not answering. Right now, I'd love to bite into a fresh baked goodie, but I'm not going to. Instead, I'm tapping those thoughts away. Today was my first day of training for a 10k run and I want to run an incredible race far more than I want to eat a baked treat. 

The gym was packed and my treadmill was acting weird, but I kept  running.

At the end of a stressful day at work, one of my friends called to see if I could meet her at the gym and I did. When we arrived at the gym it was packed. There were only 2 treadmills open next to each other, so we quickly jumped on them. I was running for about a minute when I noticed something odd was happening. I felt like I was going to slide right off the treadmill. I wasn't sure if it was my sneakers, the treadmill, or if something was wrong with my equilibrium. I turned the machine off and on again twice, before I decided to keep going.

One of the things that keeps me motivated on the treadmill is talking with one of my friends while I'm running. We each go at our own pace and at the same time catch up on our lives. So when I realized there was something wrong with my treadmill, I really didn't want to move to another machine. We looked around the room for other options and my friend noticed an empty machine had an "out of order" sign on it. I looked up at the top of my treadmill and I saw a sliver of paper pushed to the backside of the machine. I flipped the paper over and read "Equipment out of order. Sorry for any inconvenience."

Ah - so it wasn't me - it was the machine! I decided to run slower and stay on the treadmill. The fact that I was running at all outweighed everything else. I held tight to the hand grips and cranked up the level so I could run faster without feeling like I was going to slip off the machine. I always run with my hands by my side and holding on felt odd. I silenced Jillian Michaels voice yelling at me to get my hands off NOW, like she does with her clients on the Biggest Loser.

Every few minutes I felt as though I was falling off the machine, but I decided to treat this like a bumpy trail and I kept going. I enjoyed catching up with my friend and before I knew it thirty minutes had passed.

I'm fortunate that my friends call me to go to the gym with them. The reality is that a week ago I set myself up for this call. I had told my friend I was going to the gym after work this week, lunchtime hasn't been an option lately, and she agreed to spontaneously call if she wanted to join me. Today's call to take me up on my offer is what got me to the gym. My gym clothes were in my office since Tuesday and I hadn't gone to the gym all week. See, when we put these kind of thoughts out into the universe we get what we asked for; I asked for a friend to workout with and the friend appeared.

I love being able to run to relieve the stress and after a minute on the treadmill, my body and soul agreed that was running was exactly what I needed to do today. I love feeling this good. I love my life the way it is and no carb can beat feeling this good. Three years ago none of this was true. I could barely walk for five minutes, never mind run 3-6 miles.

About those carb cravings. Tap, tap, tap - I push them out of my mind. I also use one of Julie's suggestions: I tell myself "I want to not want it." Both techniques help me get past the carb cravings, as they have for the past 3 years.

I am going to keep pushing forward. I'm staying in the river. I'm staying on my weight loss journey.

What's happening on your weight loss journey? Are you staying focused? What are you doing to stay the course?

February 06, 2014

Today was perfect for cooking in the crock pot while working on other things at home. Due to the heavy snowfall, I didn't have to go into the office, so I made this crock pot balsamic chicken recipe. I just ate it for lunch and the chicken was so tender and flavorful it is on my list of dishes to make again. As late in the day as it is, it was well worth the 4 hour wait!

Crock Pot Balsamic Chicken (dark items are basil)

Ingredients

• 1 teaspoon garlic powder (or 3 garlic cloves minced)
• 1 teaspoon dried basil (or 1/3 cup fresh chopped basil)
• 2 teaspoons dried minced onion (or 1/3 cup fresh minced onion)
• 1/2 teaspoon salt (optional)
• 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
• 4 garlic cloves, minced
• 1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
• 1/2 cup balsamic vinegar
• 8 boneless, skinless chicken thighs or breasts (about 24 ounces)
• sprinkle of fresh chopped parsley

Directions

1. Combine these spices in a small bowl:

• garlic
• basil
• salt
• black pepper
• onion

I used fresh garlic, onion, and basil.

2. Spread the above spices on both sides of the chicken and then set chicken aside. 

Spread spices on both sides of chicken.

3. Pour olive oil and fresh garlic on the bottom of the crock pot. 

Olive oil, garlic, balsamic vinegar with measuring spoons and knife.

4. Place chicken on top of olive oil and garlic. 

5. Pour balsamic vinegar over the chicken.  

Chicken coated with garlic and basil in crock pot, olive oil and garlic on bottom, and balsamic vinegar on top.

6. Cover and cook on high for 4 hours.  

7. Before serving, sprinkle fresh parsley on top (optional). I didn't have parsley, so I added freeze-dried chives.

Photos by Theresa.

February 05, 2014

I'm been writing this blog for two and a half years now and I can't believe that I have yet to add my homemade chicken soup recipe. I have many variations of this soup, but when I made this last week it was hands-down the best chicken soup I've ever made.

My homemade chicken soup.

I'm going to tell you how to make this recipe in the way my grandma would have told me one of her recipes. Instead of listing how much of each ingredient and each step, I'll tell you about the different ways I prepare the chicken and broth, and then give you veggie options.

How to Prepare the Chicken

There are a 2 methods I use for having cooked chicken to add to chicken broth:

1. Cook a package of boneless chicken breasts (2-4) in chicken broth and add veggies.
2. Pull the meat off the bones of a whole cooked chicken (store bought or one you cooked) and add chicken to the soup a few minutes before serving.

For the soup I made last week, I bought a whole cooked chicken. I cut off the breasts, which I used to make Chicken Parmesan that night. While my chicken Parmesan was baking, I removed the rest of the chicken from the bones, put that chicken in the refrigerator to add to the soup later, intentionally leaving some meat on the bones, and then I placed the bones in a crock pot.

I added a box of chicken broth and thin slices of fresh ginger root to the crock pot. Ground ginger will work also, I prefer fresh.

I set the crock pot on low around 10pm and I left it on until about 6am.

Whatever method you choose for obtaining cooked chicken, set it aside or refrigerate it to add after all the veggies are cooked (or a few minutes before serving). It's your call as to how you want the chicken cut. I prefer to shred my chicken, but you may cut it into cubes or slices.

Best Broth to Use

The best broth for any soup is one you made yourself, but I usually add boxed organic chicken broth.
Use any broth you have on hand, canned, boxed, fresh, or pull broth your homemade broth from the freezer. I haven't used bouillon cubes, but this is also an option.

After cooking, pull the chicken from the bones and cook the meaty bones in broth overnight, I pulled everything from the crock pot in the morning and separated the chicken, bones and the broth. The chicken was added to the other chicken I refrigerated the night before.

I refrigerated the broth in a separate container, because I finished making the soup when I got home from work that night. The broth gelled in the refrigerator, which allowed me to easily remove the hardened fat from the top before adding it to my soup.

Vegetables

The best veggies to add to this soup are the ones you like best. I added fresh carrots, onion, and garlic, and frozen corn.

Use your judgement on the amount of vegetables. Keep in mind you need equal or more chicken than veggies.

Finishing the Soup

1. Add a small amount of olive oil to a soup pan and caramelize 1 onion sliced or chopped (I like big pieces of onion). 
2. Add the chicken broth to the caramelized onion.
3. Add 2-4 carrots sliced.
4. Add thin slivers of fresh ginger (or ground - either is optional).
5. Cover the pan.
6. After the veggies are cooked, add frozen corn and the chicken.
7. Once the chicken and corn are piping hot the soup is ready serve.
8. Top the bowl of soup with fresh parsley or your favorite herb.

What's for lunch? My leftover homemade chicken soup of course!

January 27, 2015 Update

For the past three days I've been cooking chicken soup and I swear it's the best chicken soup I've ever made. I wanted to make sure I have my chicken soup recipe on this blog and sure enough here it is (above). On February 2, 2014 I also said I'd just made my best homemade soup ever.

Grandma would agree that today's chicken soup (photo below) is my best because it's an organic chicken and because after roasting the chicken I put the carcass and bones in a crock pot overnight to make the broth. Adding slices of fresh ginger root was brilliant too. This was well worth waiting three days!

Organic chicken soup

Ingredients in the soup above: whole organic chicken, 1 onion, 1/3 cup grated carrot, 1/3 cup peas, slices of fresh ginger, 3 minced garlic cloves, salt and pepper.

Directions

1. Roast whole organic chicken, cool and refrigerate chicken overnight.
2. The next day, remove the bones and carcass from the chicken.
3. Refrigerate chicken pieces.
4. Place chicken bones and carcass in a crock pot with 2 cups of water, cover and set on low for 10-12 hours.
5. Let broth cool, remove the bones and carcass, and refrigerate broth overnight.
6. The next day, skim the chicken fat off the broth.
7. Add sliced onion and garlic to the bottom of a big pan and saute until onions are soft. I added a small amount of the chicken fat from the stock to the onions so they wouldn't burn.
8. When the onions are soft, pour the broth into the pan, add carrots, ginger, salt and pepper.
9. Set burner to low for a few hours.
10. Turn burner up to medium, add peas and chicken slices.
11. Once the peas and chicken are hot, server and enjoy!

Photos by Theresa

February 05, 2014

It's that time of year when people start to fall off their diets. New food habits start to slip and exercise goes, well, where does it go? I've been following Julie's way of eating for 3 years now, as of a few days ago, and my food habits are not slipping at all. However, the single digit temperatures in January was just the excuse I was looking for to avoid exercising. Sigh. Any excuse not to exercise is a BAD EXCUSE. Exercise keeps us healthy and energized. So, what's a girl to do to get motivated to start moving? Sign up for the Tortoise and the Hare 10K of course!

Tortoise and the Hare 10K run on April 19.

Why would I do this? Because I can. I ran the Hot Chocolate 5k in Dec. 2013 and in 2011 I finished in the exact same time. I didn't train for the 2013 race and later I wondered how much better my timing would have been if I had trained.

To motivate myself to get back on the track, or the treadmill until it's a little warmer outside, I decided to kick things up by committing to run a 10k in April. I talked with my running buddy Aime and she too is up for the challenge. In fact, she found this race after we talked. I know I can walk the distance, so I'm not worried about finishing the race. Signing up to run a 10k encourages me to get my running shoes on and start training so I can do my best time for this race. It gives me motivation to get moving. Any excuse to get moving is a GOOD EXCUSE.

What about you? Do you have a plan for exercise this week? What can you do to get moving and keep moving? Make a plan and follow Nike's advise: just do it! I'd love to hear what you're doing to keep up with your exercise - what motivates you to keep moving?

BTW, if you haven't made the Caramelized Onion & Sausage Stuffing recipe yet - try it this week! I made it this morning and I just had it for lunch a few minutes ago - yummy! This is a nice warm and flavorful dish to make in the dead of winter. Having plenty of leftovers for lunch this week is great too. While the dish was cooling, I updated the recipe with more photos.

February 02, 2014

Are you on the wait list to see Julie and wondering what you should do while you're waiting for your first session? I received an email asking this very question. Below is my response, but first, I have this to say: it is worth the wait!

Jan. 2014 vs May 2009 - it's worth the wait!

The email:

I made an appointment with Julie at the Hypnosis Center. I know that it is a 3-4 month waiting list, but I felt I had to do it. I went to a wedding this past weekend and saw myself in some of the photos and OMG. I look like a big mountain with a little head. I am saving up for my visits but feel very encouraged as she seems to have a high success rate. Do you have any advise for me between now and April?

Recommendations:

• Go into Julie's classes with an open mind.
• Do not go on an eating binge between now and a few minutes before you start the program. 
• Do not do any further research about this program. You know what you needed to know to make the call. You're better off knowing very little about the program before your first class. Don't go looking for blogs or social media either.
• If you want to do something while you're waiting, do one or all of these suggestions:

1. Eat less sugar now. 
2. Think about why you want this (to lose weight) and what your goals are.
3. Look for others your height and body type who are the size you'd like to be. Before you go to sleep and first thing in the morning, visualize yourself the size you want to be. 
4. Repeat all of the above daily.

Those of you reading this blog who have not finished all 3 classes with Julie, don't read anymore of this blog or other social until you've attended all 3 classes. The less you know about the program when you begin, the better. Seriously.

January 22, 2014

This Chicken Parmesan recipe came from Alanna. This afternoon I decided tonight was the night to make my own version of this recipe. Since I had bought a whole cooked chicken at lunch, I just cut the breasts off the cooked chicken and added the mayonnaise dressing from this recipe. Thirty minutes later it was nice a brown and dinner was ready. It was easy and fast. I have one piece leftover for tomorrow. Two delicious meals done at one pop.

My version of Chicken Parmesan

Ingredients

• 6 chicken breasts
• 1 cup light mayonnaise or Greek yogurt 
• 1/2 cup fresh Parmesan cheese
• 1 tsp garlic powder
• salt and pepper to taste

Instructions

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
2. Spray the inside of a 9x13 glass pan.  
3. Lay the chicken inside the pan.
4. Mix mayonnaise with the remaining ingredients.
5. Spread mayonnaise mixture evenly over each piece of chicken.
6. Be sure to cover all exposed raw meat or it will dry out.
7. Sprinkle fresh Parmesan over all the chicken.
8. Bake uncovered for 45 minutes. 

Recipe adapted from: My Kitchen Escapades

January 21, 2014

After my first class with Julie, I stopped eating breakfast. For the first few months I didn't even drink coffee. Then one day I discovered hot foamy milk and from that point forward I added coffee back into my morning routine. Once in a while I have breakfast with one of my brother's on the weekend, but most days I'm just not hungry in the morning so I skip breakfast. For three years this has been my routine. That is until a few days ago. My appetite has changed.

Breakfast - it's new to me. Photo by Theresa.

My change of appetite started on Friday morning when I ate a few meatballs at 8am. I had cooked meatballs in the crock pot overnight and when I first got up I turned them off and put the crock on the stove to cool. I decided to have a few meatballs with my last cup of coffee and went on with my day. At noon, as I pulled my car out of my garage, I wondered what I would do about lunch. I wasn't hungry and I knew I wouldn't have another chance to eat until dinner. I decided not to worry about this. I was a little hungry about 2:30, so I had a cup of coffee and I tapped away the hunger.

I first noticed my appetite change on Saturday. I tried to write about this in my piece An Unplanned Day. While writing, I pondered what this change meant. Would it continue or was it just a day off kind of fluke? I thought if I wrote about the details of my day, I might see something that caused this change. I couldn't find the cause, so I kept writing and at the end of the day, I saved my post as a draft. The conclusion I was seeking was not surfacing.

On Sunday morning I made sausage and egg muffins and had 2 for breakfast. Once again I was not hungry until dinner time. Last night was the same - no lunch and I didn't eat dinner until 8pm. This morning I popped the last 2 egg muffins in the oven as I made my coffee. Breakfast once again.

Is this a change in my metabolism? Is this a new pattern for me that I'll be following from now on? I still don't see what triggered this change in my appetite, but I'm embracing this change.  This morning, I am not bringing lunch with me. If hunger hits, I can go get something to eat. I want to run with this new pattern of eating and see what comes of it.

Have any of you experienced this kind of change in your appetite?

January 21, 2014