Yesterday I had some disappointing news. Fortunately I had a meeting scheduled for 20 minutes later with my tax guy, which distracted me for two hours. Learning a refund is coming soon cheered me up. However, my 10-minute drive home was torture. Little Mean Girl insisted "if ever there was a time to treat myself — this was the time." Are you wondering if Little Mean Girl won this battle or I did?

Theresa vs Little Mean Girl

Here's the dialogue that went on in my mind all the way home...

I want nachos or pizza with a cold beer and then ice cream.

I'll be home in 10 minutes where yummy pumpkin sausage soup is at home waiting for me. All I have to do is keep driving.

But if ever there was a time to treat myself — this is it!

Keep driving.

My favorite pizza shop is coming up.

Keep driving. 

As I drove past the pizza shop I didn't even see it; I just kept driving. As I waited at an intersection for the light to change, the sound of my turn signal seemed in sync with my heartbeat and extremely loud. As I made the turn, I had another thought.

Thai Place! Yes, I can stop there for a drink.

Keep driving. I can make the same drink at home. 

As I turned into my complex, I felt a great release of pressure!

I'm home — I made it!

I heated my creamy key-friendly soup and I was happy that I stayed on program, although a third bowl was more than I needed. As put down my empty bowl, I thought about what I just did: I chose to stay on program and I chose not to indulge in the foods I was craving earlier. I stood my ground:

Eating never solved anything. No amount of pizza, nachos, ice cream, or other unhealthy foods solved anything in the past and I know that would only result in making me feel worse later. Saying NO to those foods is sweeter than anything I could have eaten; success is so sweet!

After my recent struggle to stay on my weight loss journey, I'm happy to say I've been steady on this course for some time now. Yesterday gave me the opportunity to see that once again I committed to staying on course.

What about you? Are you committed to staying on your weight loss journey? If you're struggling, what's stopping you from making a commitment right now to get back on program? Put away the guilt about what you should have or could have done and start again right now. You can do this!


Related Post
Pumpkin Sausage Soup

April 14, 2016

Today's key success story comes from Sue, who tells herself every day “Believe in yourself and you will be unstoppable.” Her daily mantra is working, as Sue is eight sizes smaller than she was a year ago!

February 20, 2015 vs April 6, 2016

Believe in Yourself and You Will Be Unstoppable

This week I celebrated my 1 year Julieversary and I cannot tell you how happy I am that I found Julie and the Key lifestyle. When I started on April 6, 2015 I was a size 36W and medically a borderline diabetic. My feet, hips and knees hurt, I had trouble climbing stairs and felt tired all the time. In general, my Doctor was concerned with my health and current weight so she recommend Julie Kibe’s Key Hypnosis Program as her other patients who went to Julie had been very successful on the Key program.

I signed the wait list in December 2014 and April 6, 2015 attended my first session. After session one I came home and wrote down everything I remembered Julie telling me and did the same with session two and three. I have to say that I am so thankful I did that as I often read my notes from the sessions which helps keep Julie in my head, me on program and in the river.

March 5, 2015 vs March 30, 2016

No longer does food dominate my life. I now eat to live, not live to eat. Eating when you are hungry and not when you are not, at first was a real challenge for me. My husband always lived by the clock, so no matter if you were hungry or not he wanted to eat, especially breakfast.

I finally got a handle on that and just started cooking for him. I have been able to adjust many of our favorite recipes to be Key-friendly, as well as trying many new ones from Key friend’s posts. If hubby wants to include potato or rice in a meal, I cook it separately for him. This has worked well when family is over for dinner as well. Everyone has been so supportive.

Remembering how BAD I want this, seeing myself at my goal size, believing in myself, and remembering Julie telling us “If you get out of the river, it is so hard to get back in” has helped me stay in the river and on program. I have kept a journal of my Key journey, how I have felt, what challenges I faced, how I have successfully dealt with them to stay positive, what I am eating daily, recording NSV’s (non-scale victories), and taking measurements to track my progress.

I think keeping a record of my Key journey has really helped me stay honest on the program. Today I am a size 20W. I have gone down eight sizes and have lost 48 inches; 15 on my bust, 19 on my waist, and 14 on my hips.

I know I still have a long way to go to reach my goal size, but I am already so much healthier and no longer borderline diabetic. My energy level is great and I can now walk or climb stairs without breathing hard.

I walk almost every day and track my activity with my GearFit to hit my 10,000 steps. I admit it has not always been easy, but I recognize my mindset has had so much to do with how I make it through the day.

I want this so bad and I tell myself every day “Believe in yourself and you will be unstoppable.”

Year two here I come!!

— Sue

Regardless of where you are on the weight loss journey, in or out of the river (on or off program), believing in yourself is a essential to your success in reaching your goal size.

After months of struggling I'm back on program and as each week passes I'm feeling lighter. I believe in myself and I am unstoppable!

April 10, 2016

Throughout our weight loss journey, we experience a series of events that help us change. When we discover things that hold us back we've learn to let them go. As we embrace these changes, our lives change in profound and positive ways. When one of our key-friends sought inspiration and instead uncovered a food trigger, she chose to let it go.

Knowing yourself is the beginning of all Wisdom.
— Aristotle

What I Recently Discovered About Myself

After 2 ½ years following the Key Program, and 9 sizes down (probably in the ballpark of 130-150 pounds lost), I discovered something disturbing about myself. Even though specific cravings are rarely an issue for me, the food addict is still inside me, and is always close to the surface.

I sometimes watch shows like Extreme Weight Loss, The Biggest Loser, or My 600-lb Life. While my newer, healthier self can certainly relate to many of the victories and lifestyle changes that the participants experience, the strongest connection is to the addict—the inner demon that whispers seductively and promises to numb all the stress.

My 600-lb Life is the worst. In footage of hugely obese people that are bedbound, most unable to even clean themselves of urine or feces—footage that is certainly meant to appall or invoke sympathy in the audience—the part that strikes me deepest is the eating. Every single one of those people, as they are filmed eating enormous amounts of insanely unhealthy food, talks about the escape and comfort that food offers them.

It should HORRIFY me to watch them killing themselves, bite by bite. It should revolt me. Instead, the addict in me pokes me and says, "I remember that feeling. Don’t you want to forget everything for a while? Get lost in that hand to mouth rhythm of eating yourself into oblivion? We’ll just do it once—just to see what it’s like again. Remember how good it felt? Remember how it made the world go away? Then afterward, you can go lie down and nap the day away—everything else can be put off—wouldn’t that be nice?"

At times like that, it takes all my mental strength to remember the reality of my life pre-Julie. Life WASN’T nice.

I couldn’t walk up a flight of stairs without panting.

A slow quarter mile walk around the block would exhaust me for the day—and I considered it exercise!

I couldn’t walk into a room without looking around for the chair that looked like it would hold me.

I was ALWAYS the fattest person in the room—there was certainly no blending in.

I couldn’t cross my legs. My knees hurt constantly.

My skin was bumpy and rough.

I had constant issues with IBS, due to the huge amounts of carb and grease-laden food that I’d eat at once—there was no relaxing in a restaurant after a meal—we had to get the check and leave immediately, because it was guaranteed that by the time we got home, I’d be running for the bathroom.

Any activities were passive ones—reading, watching TV or a movie, going on the computer.

I’ve decided that I need to stay away from the show My 600-lb Life. How odd that a show that should terrify me into eating healthy, is instead a trigger to the food demons lurking inside me?

If I need motivation, from now on I’ll stick to the exercise based shows—the ones that remind me how far I’ve come, and how wonderful it feels to be healthy, active, and have a fun, fulfilling life.

So screw you, food demons! Be gone!

— Anonymous

Where are you on your weight loss journey? Are you embracing the opportunities to stay motivated by letting go of things that are holding you back?

I made a decision to embrace what motivates me to stay on my journey. I've been struggling for many months and I'm proud to say I am back on program. I too am letting go of habits and events that are triggers.

April 04, 2016

Ingrid's weight loss journey is about more than losing weight; it's about her future health. Her decision to make healthier food choices altered her life in a big way: no more inflamed or painful knees. Today when Ingrid sees foods full of flour and sugar, she doesn't see them as yummy temptations, she only sees the pain those foods once inflicted on her body.

Ingrid: Before and After

Ingrid's Story

Hi Theresa, I've read your blog for a few years now, but I've never posted anything on it. I have really enjoyed reading your post and other people's comments.

I went to see Julie in November 2013. It really changed my life from the first day that I walked out of there and in many more ways than just weight loss.

Like your earlier post, Done with Demons, I too struggled with going off-and-on the diet. In the past two-and-a-half years (don't laugh) I think I've gone to five or six refreshers. I would think I could handle eating cookies, cake, and/or chocolate (I'm a sugar addict) and be able to then go right back on program, but I was not able to. The sugar cravings would get a fierce hold of me and not let go. That is why I went to so many refreshers.

Fast forward to August 2015. I learned how to do hypnosis on myself. I created recordings of my own hypnosis and listened to them. Although listening to myself seemed kind of weird to me - it worked great! So now I can do this without Julie.

Bear with me, now it is March 2016. I have completely given up flour and sugar for good! And this last time, of giving them up for good (LOL!) is sticking, without me even using hypnosis on myself.

I learned from going off-and-on and off-and-on the flour that I have a gluten sensitivity. Every time I quit eating flour, I did not have issues with my knees and toes. Every time I ate something with gluten in it, my knees became inflamed. I reached a point last year where I had emergency surgery on my knee; at that time I did not know I had a gluten sensitivity.

The only thing I learned from the surgery in Feb. 1, 2015 was that I had arthritis in my knees. The hospital never figured out why my knee blew up the way it did. Of course I figured it out four months ago. It was from eating gluten! If you have arthritis and it gets inflamed, it can be because of gluten.

I wish the doctors had told me that, but of course they didn't. I had to learn it myself from going off the program and then eating real clean again. I no longer touch anything with gluten, which is all the cakes, cookies, pies, bread, pasta, etc., with a 10 foot pole!

I did not enjoy the nine months it took me to heal from my knee surgery, which had no diagnosis from the hospital. Now when I see those foods - I don't see yummy anymore - all I see is pain.

I also gave up sugar for good at the end of December when my short-term memory was going. It was very noticeable that I was losing my short-term memory. You know it is noticeable when your young children are making fun of you for it. I couldn't or wouldn't eat sweets made with flour anymore, so that just left chocolate! I really believe I was getting dementia from all the chocolate I was consuming.

It got to where a few times everyday I could not remember why I had walked in a room. I couldn't remember my kids' names sometimes. It was bad! I knew it was the sugar doing that to my mind, so I quit on my own and I have never looked back.

I read something recently that really hit home to me. It said one of the reasons why people do not stay on weight loss plans is because the dangers are not real enough for you. The sugars and flours that we eat can cause a lot of damage down the road - but because it is not imminent - people don't stop.

Well, I guess it got real enough for me!

Sorry for the long post, but I just want people to understand that Julie's program is more than just about losing weight, it is about your future health. It is easier to change it now than it will be down the road when you have dementia or Alzheimer's.

A study was done by the Mayo clinic on diabetics. It stated that if your are diabetic you have a 220% chance of getting dementia and/or Alzheimer's. My father, before he passed away, was diabetic and about a year before he passed away he got Alzheimer's and then passed away from a stroke at the age of 71, a textbook case. The study might as well been about him.

So the next time you think about the yummy sweets, flour, and processed foods (going off the program), think about the harm that is really in store for your future if you continue to eat these foods which are so bad for you. I do - whenever I looked at chocolate now - all I see are memory erasers, and I have a very strong aversion or repugnance from it!

Oh, and by the way, my short term memory has improved quit a bit since I have quit eating sugar. I no longer walk in rooms anymore without remembering why.

Thank you Ingrid for sharing your story and for reminding us that when we are tempted by unhealthy foods, remembering the bigger picture of our lives can help us stay the course: the choice we make in this moment determines where we go from here. Each time we choose healthy foods, we get closer to our goals, we maintain our goal size, and we keep a distance from the pain unhealthy foods causes our bodies.

One bite of anything isn't worth the consequences that follow. It has been my experience that "just one bite" of off-program food leads to another, and another, and another, and an uncontrollable desire for MORE. The promise we make to ourselves, to start again tomorrow, never comes. Somewhere after that first bite, we throw away our chances of reaching our goal size. Somewhere after that first bite, we feel a loss of control in making healthy food choices, our former lives creep in and the pain from our former returns.

Pain comes in many forms. The aches and pain your body feels. The pain of all your clothes being too tight. The pain of feeling trapped. The pain of feeling hung-over from the foods you ate the night before. The pain of seeing friends and family having gained weight.

What about you? Have you been on-and-off several times? Are you having trouble staying on-program? Think about Ingrid's message and ask yourself: what kind of pain are those off-program foods bringing into your life?

 Eat clean and say NO to off-program foods now; tomorrow will never come.

March 27, 2016

Today's post comes from our key friend Chrissie, who shares her perspective on maintenance and the afterlife. The afterlife is what many refer to life after reaching your goal size. Not giving up on yourself is key to reaching the afterlife.

This new lifestyle that we committed to isn’t easy. Losing was easy. Maintaining is hard. Let’s face it, we have (probably) all failed many times with other weight loss programs, and we’re seeing higher degrees of success with this one, so let’s celebrate that.

No, you are not a failure if you put on weight during and after completing maintenance. That’s what you’re supposed to do. The key is recognizing and reacting in a timely manner.

I suck at that. I always go to the point where my pants feel like they’re splitting me in two before I jump back into the river. I just so enjoy my wine and cocktails, and bread, and occasional bites of sweets… that become more and more in volume and frequency... that I delude myself into thinking that I can enjoy them without consequence. I deserve to enjoy them after all the hard work I did. WRONG. I can’t stay fit and healthy by repeating my failed patters of yesteryear.

My 3+ year maintenance pattern has been:

• Lose in the river for 2-3 months,
• Put it back on over the next 4-6 months,
• Start over.

If I could only react more quickly it would never be so hard. I refuse to think of this as failure though because each time, when I’ve made the commitment to myself, I have honored it without a single cheat - ever. And I've never been to a refresher. I am a stubborn woman who refuses to quit on myself. But I need to work on my reaction time.

I think that it’s important for each of us to stop thinking of ourselves as failures because we have to return to the river. That’s what we’re supposed to do. Julie said that she also returns 2-3 times/year, and she’s been at this for many years.

Losing weight is easy. Keeping it off is very hard. But I’m not giving up. Are you?

Chrissie you are an inspiration to the rest of us and thanks for sharing your thoughts and experience with us.

The afterlife is not just some far away dream, but it takes making the right choices to transform this dream into reality. Life is full of choices and we get to choose what our life looks and feels like. If your life feels like a black and white movie screen, perhaps it's time to make other choices to change your perspective.

March 23, 2016

I encountered a pivotal decision point in my weight loss journey today: continue to eat whatever I want or go back on my program. Each choice has a clear path. One will lead me to a size 30/32 and the other will lead me to a 10/12. The built-in default in not making a decision: return to 30/32.

Remembering my weight loss journey

Walking with one of my friends on Mount Tom this morning, she asked me what I'm doing about food these days. After mumbling something about not being sure and that I have a few ideas: get back on program or look at other options.

My friend stopped walking, turned toward me, looked me straight in the eyes, and quite seriously, but ever so gently, encouraged me to do WHATEVER it takes to turn things around or I'll end up where she is: heavier than she was before she lost her weight. She pointed to herself when she said that last part.

I felt the earth shake under my feet.

It was a hard place to be standing in her shoes or mine in that moment, but we both knew she was right; this conversation had to happen.

As I drove home, I ignored the many familiar voices calling out to me.

Pssst! Over here!

You can start later today!

Come on, just once more!"

Wait - where are you going? Why aren't you stopping?

I'm done. I'm not stopping for anything. I have food and coffee at home. No more sugar or junk food! I've had it. I'm on program right this moment!

I've been in seclusion most of the day. I've been looking through old photos, to remember where I've been these past five years and seeing where I really am today. Despite the fact that I feel like I'm a size 30/32, I am not!

I printed photos to have around the house so I don't forget where I've been. Looking through my photos, I remember how good I felt getting into this size. This is a setback—my journey is not over!

We can only change today. We get to choose what we do about food.

Today I know what I'm choosing.

How about you? What will you choose?

March 13, 2016

You know the drill: a voice in your head tells you, "You can eat this - you can start your diet tomorrow." You're strong on your program and you push away that voice. You do this because you know tomorrow never comes.

Tamarra - tells you to start your diet tomorrow.

Today I put a face and a name to that voice. Her name is Tamarra, which is pronounced in a wicked Rhode Island accent: Taa-maaa-Ra, as in "tomorrow never comes."

I encountered Tamarra this morning while reflecting back on the week I just spent in my head with Little Mean Girl and her sister Negative Nellie. In case you're wondering why were they were in my head for a week, it's because I put them in this five-minute video I created this week.

Before you press the play button, you should know the randomly assigned genre for my video submission to the Northampton Community TV 7-Day Film Sprint was B-Horror Film. B-horror means you can do all kinds of campy stuff. I aimed for more campy than scarey.

If the video doe not appear above, you may view it on YouTube: Going Off Program.

Last week when I went to the sprint kick-off, I had no idea Little Mean Girl or her sister Negative Nellie would end up in my video. They say it's easier to write about what you know, so it was a natural choice for me to write a script about those "voices" in my head that try to entice me to go off my eating program.

I had a blast making this video. After the sprint was over, I debated about adding in a few lines that were cut due to the 5 minute maximum length for this sprint, or fixing a few things here and there, or in the very least changing the title to GOP. Perhaps another time. I spent 80% of the last seven days focused on producing this video and it's time to move on.

March 10, 2016

I haven't made this recipe yet, but it looks delicious and easy to make.

Eggs in a Cloud

Ingredients

• 3 egg whites
• Dash of salt
• 1 oz. sliced Parmesan (optional, as cheese is not allowed during the weight loss phase)
• 2 slices bacon, chopped
• Chopped scallion
• 1 egg yolk

Instructions

Place egg whites in a bowl, and add salt. Beat with electric mixer until stiff, or until peak stands straight up when beaters are lifted.

On a parchment-paper-lined baking sheet, spread 2/3 of the egg white mixture, and make into a nest.

Top with Parmesan, bacon, scallion, and egg yolk.

Cover top with remaining egg white mixture, and smooth into a dome shape.

Bake in oven for 10 to 12 minutes at 350 °F.

Serve, and enjoy!

Source with video: Little Things.com

February 16, 2016

I've been struggling to stay on program. I do great and then I don't. To help me stay on my weight loss journey, I pull strength from a wide range of sources. What helped me stay on program recently are words of wisdom from Bob Harper, Julie Kibe, and Glinda the good witch.

Glinda and Dorothy

A few weeks ago there was a scene on the TV show The Biggest Loser where Bob asked the contestants what brought them there. During their discussion, Bob talked about the importance of believing in yourself and this dialogue followed:

Contestant: How can you fight for something you don’t believe in? 

Bob (speaking to all the contestants): There’s a demon in you and he’s a liar. He’s a liar feeding your head with all these negative thoughts. 

Contestant: I’m done with these demons.

"Me too!" I promised myself, "This demon has been lying to me and I'm done listening!"

One of our key friends recently asked me:

Do you think it's possible to lose Julie out of your head?

I responded with something I imagine Julie might say:

It was you all along – you took the weight off yourself; I just got you started.

This reminded me of something Glinda the good witch told Dorothy and is something for us to remember as well:

You've always had the power my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself.
~ Glinda, The Wizard of Oz

We all have the power within us to do this program. The key is to keep coming back to what we know: this program works, but if we continue to go off course, it doesn't. The more we go off, the harder it is to get back and stay back. Keep coming back to the program.

Find wisdom where you can and use it to keep you on your journey. I've been at this for five years now and I'm never giving up. Don't you give up either!

You are capable of more than you know.
~ Glinda, The Wizard of Oz

February 14, 2016

This recipe for chicken zucchini poppers comes to us from Megan. She didn't have zucchini on hand, so she used green chopped cauliflower instead. Megan reheated them for breakfast with a side of ranch.

Chicken Zucchini Poppers reheated with a side of ranch.
Photo by Megan

Ingredients

• 1 lb. ground chicken breast
• 2 cups unpeeled grated zucchini
• 2-3 green onions, sliced
• 3-4 Tbsp minced cilantro
• 1 clove minced garlic
• 1 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp pepper

Instructions

Mix ground chicken and remaining ingredients in large mixing bowl.

Grease a frying pan or skillet and with olive oil and set the burner to medium heat.

Spoon 8-10 nugget sized pieces from the bowl and place in the hot skillet.

Cook the chicken poppers for five minutes on each side.

Serve plain or with your favorite dip or sauce.

February 05, 2016

Do you have things distracting you and taking your focus away from your weight loss journey? Life is about more than achieving this one goal, but in order to reach our goal size, we must keep this goal in focus. I know this because I lost my focus.

Is your weight loss journey out of focus?

I lost my focus a few months ago and I find myself in a place I've never been before: off-program and all my clothes are tight.

At first it was just one sugary thing. A month later another. Over the holidays I went off completely. I was back on program for a few weeks and feeling great once again. Then BOOM! I went off program once more.

I'd forgotten about the vicious circle of self-promises to start again "tomorrow" and how that day doesn't come. After a night of indigestion, I wake up in the morning feeling lousy. The whole nine yards of physical issues that come with eating poorly are once again in my life. Some days I'm able to use feeling that way to get me through the day and I'm good for a week or so, but then I'm back in the infamous loop once more. 

I have not felt this way for five years and I've been beside myself with what to do.

Sigh.

Julie warned us this could happen. We discover we can "get away" with eating one thing, so we have a little more. We get away with that for a while too. Then one day, our "get of of jail" card expires with no notice. Suddenly we feel out of control with our food and our clothes are tight.

That's exactly how it happened to me. Of course, it didn't happen to me, this was all my choice. My behavior was equivalent to a when child learns the stove is hot and they know not to touch it again because they'll be hurt—I kept touching the stove—I chose to become numb the pain.

I don't want to be numb a moment longer.

This morning I realized I have been focusing more on what I'm doing wrong instead of what I'm doing right. I need to flip this equation around. I need to find my focus again and the only way to do this is to stop going numb; I must stop burning myself.

Today I began my day reading motivational articles to help me sharpen my focus. This morning I'll spend time in meditation and reflective writing, daily habits that I stopped when I went on vacation. Reflecting and learning encourage me stay focused on my goal.

I read an article this morning about motivation, If You Commit to Nothing, You’ll Be Distracted by Everything. The title of the article is inspiring and these words resonated with me:

"Never give up on a dream just because of the length of time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway." —H. Jackson Brown

I've been at this dream of reaching my goal size for five years and the reminder that time will pass anyway is exactly what I needed to hear today. The Serena Williams quote (below) also came at a good time for me.

I've allowed myself to be distracted by many things and in the process, I've lost my focus. Today I remove those distractions and regain my focus.

What about you? What's distracting you? Is it time to refocus and return to your weight loss journey? Today is a perfect time to find your focus.

It's not about how you win. It's about how well
you're able to come back when you're down.
—Serena Williams; Source: Master Class

January 23, 2016

A friend recently asked me what I would do if I gained all my weight back. I was afraid to even answer the question. I can't imagine what I would do. I'd be devastated. Over the holidays a plea for help came from someone who has gained all the weight they lost and is unsure as to where to go from here on their weight loss journey.

Theresa in summer of 2004 (30/32) versus summer of 2015 (14/16)

Here's the question:

I went to Julie about 4 years ago, did really well for me, and then gave up. I can't forgive myself or my terrible weight gain. At my heaviest and so sad. Work full-time now and can't afford to go back. Friends tell me it wouldn't help anyway because I am a "rule breaker" and hypnosis doesn't work for us.

What do you think?

—Anonymous

What I think is this: your weight loss journey is yours and only you can decide what you can and can not do. Your friends can't tell you how to resolve your food issues; only you can do this. Only you know what is possible and even this is questionable, as there are many times in life when each of us have far exceeded our own limits. You can do this if you really want to. You did it once and you can do it again.

That doesn't mean it will be easy, but if it was easy then none of us would have weight problems. We each need to learn to trust ourselves to eat the right foods and then repeat, repeat, repeat, until we are in our goal size and learn how to maintain that size.

As far as being a rule breaker, well what if you break the rule about being a rule breaker and become some one who doesn't break the rules?

Hypnosis may not work for your friends, but it worked for you. You can't go by what others believe possible for you. You must once again learn that you can trust yourself and your body. The fact that you did 'really well' on this program four years ago speaks volumes as to whether you can trust yourself or your body.

Okay, so you made a mistake or two and then things got out of control. Move on. Forgive yourself. Stop being so mean to yourself and let go of what you could have, should have, but didn't do, and move on. Yes, you can get your food cravings back in line. Yes, you can learn to trust yourself once again. Yes, you can do this.

Yesterday's post from Momomig, Elevated Status, said this about cravings:

Cravings are nothing more than a thought. You observe that a food would taste nice. Like you observe that a car is nice, that a hair color is pretty, that someone's home is lovely... you don't necessarily obtain that thing - you simply notice it and go about your life.

Can you do this on your own or do you need a refresher? I can't answer this and neither can anyone else. There are key-followers who report gaining back all their weight and then taking it off again all on their own. There are also those who gained the weight back and went for a refresher and found success that way. You get to choose here. You did it once, you can do it again, with or without the refresher. Dig deep and decide what will work for you.

As far as not being able to afford to go back for a refresher, sure it's not cheap, but junk food isn't cheap either. If I were to add up what I spent in a day on junk food and then multiply that out...well it all adds up to a lot of money and fast.

Do some math with me on this. I'll keep it simple by looking at just one junk food item I used to eat several times a week: ice cream. One container of Ben and Jerry's ice cream averages about $4.50. If I had 3 containers a week, that adds up to $54 a month. If I ate out at a fast food place 3 time a week I'd easily spend $10 a meal, which is another $120.

BOOM—$175 in a month on junk food! Easily. I'm sure it was even more.

Spending the money to go to a refresher is like spending money on medicine. You spend the money, but if you don't take the meds (follow the program) then you're not going to get better (drop your weight).

Go shopping and get the right foods in your house and start eating key-friendly foods now. You won't get in for a refresher until March at the earliest, so you have at least eight weeks before you can get in. This gives you two months to get yourself on program and if you feel like you still need help (a refresher), you'll have some time to save up money too.

You are not a bad or horrible person because you gained all your weight back. You are not a failure either. You aren't the only one this has happened to and while this may not make you feel any better, I hope that you find hope in knowing others have been where you are and they were able to reach their goal size once again.

Welcome back to the river (on program). I wish you well on your journey.

Here are some responses I've received for you...

Wise words indeed!

F.A.I.L. means first attempt in learning

Related:
Elevated Status

January 05, 2016

It's a new year and I'm cutting fat out of my foods and this boneless chuck roast was a great place to start. I made this in my crock pot this morning and I had a serving for lunch; it was yummy! If you don't have a crock pot, make this is a pan.

Boneless chuck roast with carrots and onions

Note: You may use your favorite spices to flavor your chuck roast instead of the Borsari Orange-Ginger seasoned salt that I used, which is a mixture of: sea salt, kosher salt, fresh garlic, fresh basil, fresh rosemary, black pepper, fresh orange peel, ginger. There are no preservatives, MSG, gluten or dehydrated ingredients.

Borsari Orange-Ginger seasoned salt

Ingredients

• 2.5 pound boneless chuck roast
• Borsari Orange-Ginger seasoned salt
• 4 cloves of garlic
• 1 large onion
• 6 whole carrots
• 3/4 cups of water (or beef broth)
• 2 Tablespoons of fresh parsley (optional)

Instructions

Sprinkle the roast with Borsari Orange-Ginger seasoned salt on all sides and then add the roast to a crock pot. Some people prefer to brown the edges of the roast before adding it to the crock pot. Since this is a low fat weight loss program, I chose not to do this and my roast was delicious without browning it first.

Add remaining ingredients to pot: sliced or smashed garlic cloves, large onion sliced or diced as you prefer (I cut my onion into 6 slices), carrots cut into thirds, and water or broth. You may substitute the vegetables.

Cook on high for five hours.

Cook in crock pot or in a pan on the stove.

Optional: pour broth over roast and veggies and then garnish dish with fresh parsley. This dish is also delicious served over Celeriac and Parsnip Mash.

Serve in a bowl with or without the broth

Remove any visible fat as you serve this dish. I missed a piece, as you can see in the photo above, but I did not eat it.

I refrigerated the leftover broth and I'll remove any fat that hardens on the top before I reheat it.

Related: Celeriac and Parsnip Mash

January 05, 2016

Our key-friend Martine has perfected this recipe for making key-friendly cloud bread, which is great for burgers and any kind of sandwich. A few months ago I had Martine's cloud bread sandwiches and—wow—it was so delicious! So many key-friends have made this recipe, that I've added a ton of their beautiful cloud bread photos.

Cloud bread with tuna salad

Note: There is an art to making this bread, so read and follow the directions carefully.

 Preparation

• Chill a small bowl (which you will use to whip the egg whites)
• Preheat oven to 300 degrees

Ingredients

• 3 eggs, separated
• 3 tablespoons of or Greek Yogurt (or whole milk cottage cheese)
• 1/4 teaspoon of lemon juice (optional)
• Parchment paper to line pans

Instructions

Separate the eggs very carefully, there must be NO yolks in the whites.

Separate yolks from whites

If you want to experiment with flavor, add your favorite herbs or spices to the egg yolk mixture before you fold it into the egg whites.

In a chilled bowl, add the egg whites and 1/4 teaspoon of lemon juice, and then beat on high speed until fluffy and form stiff peaks.

Beat until fluffy and forms stiff peaks

This is what will happen if you don't whip your whites enough. This is not a good thing.

Your bread will not turn out right if you don't beat the whites enough.

In another bowl, mix together the egg yolks and 3 tablespoons of cottage cheese.

Very carefully fold the egg yolk mixture into the egg whites until mixed, but try not to break down the fluffiness.

Carefully fold the 2 mixtures together

Line cookie sheets with parchment paper.

With a large spoon, scoop the mixture into 10 even rounds on the sheets about the size of the top-half a good size hamburger bun. Roughly 3/4 inch thick and 4 to 5 inch across.

Add caption

Place pan on the middle rack of your oven and bake.

Here is when you have to watch them, because the cooking is not the same on any two batches. It is somewhere around 1/2 hour, but could be less or more. You need to watch them until they are a nice golden brown, the color of a hamburger bun.

Remove from the pans and cool on a rack or cutting board.

Cool cloud bread on racks

While they are warm they are crumbly and similar to a cooked meringue, but don't let this fool you! They will become bread-like when they cool off.

The recipe does not preservatives, so follow storage instructions below if you plan to keep these for more than one day.

Storage

• Once completely cooled, seal them in a plastic storage baggie or a plastic container store in the fridge. 
• If you are freezing more than one layer, separate the layers with parchment paper.

Martine's burger on cloud bread

I haven't made cloud bread yet, but I had Martine's cloud bread with chicken salad and OMG the sandwich was so incredible. Of course I took photos! So many key-friends have made this cloud bread, that I've asked for their permission to include their photos here as well.

Cloud bread with chicken salad

Cloud bread with chicken salad

Catherine's cloud bread fresh from the oven.

Catherine's chicken salad on cloud bread

Gail's cloud bread cooling on the racks

Jean's first batch of cloud bread

Lou's sliced his cloud bread and put a burger in the middle.

Related:

More Ideas of What to Do with Cloud Bread

Mental and Physical Freedom - Martine's weight loss journey.

January 05, 2016

Today's post comes from Momomig, who shares words of wisdom with us about cravings and how to level them. Each time we have cravings, we get choose what to do about them: push away those thoughts or cave into them? How will you respond when cravings come your way?

Cravings: how will you respond to them?

Tomorrow (Jan. 4, 2016) I am beginning a 3 month program of cardiac rehab. I must do some things that are not key-friendly - such as weighing myself every morning for 3 months. When I explained my predicament to my doctor, he told me to think of it a measuring my water weight and not my actual weight. I understand that with heart failure, one must be careful of excess fluid. I also understand that this is only for a few months. So I will do what they say, and be mindful of my salt and fluid...

Of greater interest to the Key Folks, I was reading literature from those who successfully completed cardiac rehab... One of the writers observed that we tend to give "cravings" an elevated status! She pointed out that cravings are nothing more than a thought. You observe that a food would taste nice. Like you observe that a car is nice, that a hair color is pretty, that someone's home is lovely... you don't necessarily obtain that thing - you simply notice it and go about your life... I LOVE IT!

I see a lovely food, appreciate its beauty, and go about my day...

--Momomig

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on how to deal with cravings Momomig.

I wish you well in your cardiac rehab program.

January 04, 2016

It's that time of year when all our favorite foods are everywhere. What do we do? We do the same things we do the rest of the year: we step away from the dessert table and stay on our weight loss journey. Let's all have a key-friendly holiday. Push away those cravings and step into our next smaller size jeans!

Wishing you a key-friendly holiday!

I'm going on vacation next week, which means I'll avoid all those foods that call out to me at holiday parties:

"Psst...over here...remember me? We used to be friends...What happened?"

I dropped from a size 30-32 to a 14-16 is what happened. And, by the way, we never really were friends.

For my holiday vacation I'm driving with family to Florida and back. We'll be staying at a hotel, which means I'll be outside of my safe home environment (food-wise) and easy access to key-friendly foods for twelve days.

But wait a minute! I have easy access to key-friendly foods no matter where I go - right? Yes, that is right. In fact, my food options won't be that much different than at home, except I won't have the temptations of holiday party foods, because I won't be going to those parties.

Being on the road and staying at hotels is a whole different game, but I've been on this almost five years now and I know that I'll do just fine. I know what foods to bring with me. I also know I don't need to pack food for 12 days, as there's no shortage of food between here and Florida. I won't starve! I will stay on my weight loss journey because I'm planning on it.

I'd be overly optimistic to tell you I'll blog from the road to let you know what my food struggles are and how I handle them. In my mind that will happen, but in reality, I'm not so sure, so I'm not making any promises to post from the road.

What about you? Are you planning to have a key-friendly holiday this year? We can all do this! Let's bring in the new year feeling great about what we've done for ourselves this year: staying on program and moving closer to our goal sizes!

Wishing each and every one of you a key-friendly holiday!

Meanwhile, pardon the missing images on all my earlier blog posts. I won't have time to resolve this technical issue until the new year. It's embarrassing, but here I am.



Image source: Tiffany & Company

December 19, 2015

All my blog photos are gone, but I'm still here and I'm not going anywhere and I will continue this blog! A few days I discovered all my blog photos were showing up in Google+ and I didn't know why or how that happened, so I deleted them.

Sigh.

It turns out that my blog photos are stored in Google+ and in deleting them all four years of my blog photos have disappeared! Yikes. 

I didn't know of the connection to my blogger photos and Google+, so I did not know to back up the Google+ photos. I'll check if my blog back up includes those photos and a few other possibilities. Meanwhile, I added the top and left images.

I plan to continue this blog, but getting all those photos back is going to take an incredible amount of time. 

This may be a sign that it's time to move to a different blogging tool than this one (blogger). 

December 01, 2015

A weight loss journey is solo journey. Individually, we choose again and again to stay the course, to push away cravings every time they come at us or to cave into them. To give in to our cravings, does not mean we are doomed to gain back all our weight again and if that does happen, it does not mean we will never be able to get back on program once again. The path to the river is there for us whenever we want to start again.

The path to the river is there for you any time you're ready.

There is hope for those who have fallen off program: start again right now. If you fell off a year ago or five minutes ago, start again now. Get back in the river this moment and stay the course once again. Forgive yourself and focus on your goal size. Do this on your own or call Julie's office for a refresher, either way - decide right now to continue your journey. Don't fall to the old pattern of promising yourself you'll start "tomorrow" or after the holidays. The infamous tomorrow never comes and the holidays, well they are for celebrating and what better way to celebrate than by feeling good about your life?

In my recent blog post, Welcome Back, Paula, one of our key-friends indicated she had fallen off program and asked us for help. Some indicated you too had gone off program and that you were able to get back in the river (on program); everyone's feedback was inspiring. Thank you all for your supportive comments.

I hope this inspirational update from Paula will inspire those who are still struggling to return to the river and continue your weight loss journey...

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! The outpouring of encouragement, support and love has been overwhelming. For a long while, I thought I was all alone in having gone off the track.

I was surprised at how easy the program was to do when I started, but at how hard it was to get back in the river. I think I was believing that the river was cold and rough. But your posts have reminded me that the river is gentle and soothing - it is about being kind to your body. Giving it nourishment when it is needed. Giving it exercise to help it move and dispel stress. Keeping it free of the things that make it feel sluggish and achy and hungry.
I also realized that I was rather isolated in this process. The only resource I could consult for inspiration was this blog - and it's a great blog!!!

But in my everyday life, I was encountering many folks who would give me the side - eye and chastise me for foregoing fruit, or grains, or for eating dairy.

"No milk" they cry - dairy is bad! You must have fruit daily!

I need to be stronger in my conviction that Key is the way for me! I know from experience that carbs are not for me. Now I need to let all this "advice" roll off my back with a gentle "thank you for your concern."

I also appreciate hearing everyone's words of wisdom. This is one clever and articulate group. I especially needed to hear that what I need to do is picture myself back in that room and remember what I learned. It is all still in me. I just need to access it.

I am also so grateful to those who shared that they too have sometimes wandered out of the river. I send them support and encouragement too. We are not alone, we have each other.

Finally, I hope Theresa realizes how much this blog means to me - and how much it seems to mean to so many others. Please understand, Ms. Theresa, that you have many, many people who find a great deal of support in your blog and that we are so thankful.

And speaking of giving thanks - some people in my life are questioning why I am getting back in the river so close to Thanksgiving. I have two answers: One, Julie told us at my third session, shortly before Thanksgiving, to write a card to put on or under our plate at Thanksgiving - a card that says that the meal is our gift to ourselves. Two: butternut squash!

Happy Thanksgiving to all. You are all AMAZING!

Paula, it sounds to me like you are already stronger in your convictions! I'm so glad to hear you are on your journey once again! Your story will no doubt inspire others. Thanks for sharing your optimistic turn-around.

I won't be posting again this week, as today's post is full of incredible inspiration, so I'll wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving today and I'll post again next week.

November 23, 2015

I saw a comment from Paula asking if I am well, as I haven't blogged for a while. Yes Paula, I am well and thank you for asking. I've been focusing on my consulting business: creating documentary videos and family memory videos. I will publish a blog post before Thanksgiving, as it has been way too long since my last post!

Meanwhile, I want to address Paula's plea for inspiration:

I am particularly looking for inspiration now, as I am ashamed to say I gained all my weight back and now must start over. Very poor choices on my part, and a number of medical issues - mine and others. So, I am getting back in the river, and looking forward to more of your posts.

—Paula

First, welcome back to the river Paula!

Second, here are a few things to remember as you start you second phase on your weight loss journey.

Remember:

• Forgive yourself. Feeling bad or guilty about what you've done will not help you in any way.
• Leave behind the reasons and the self-judgement around having to start again. 
• Believe in yourself and choose to feel good about your journey today.
• Feel proud of yourself for returning to the river and starting once again. 
• Leave shame behind, as you can not change the past, you can only change what you do from this moment forward. 
• Feel proud of yourself that you have returned to your weight loss journey and do whatever it takes to continue feeling good.
• You can do this; affirm this daily, several times a day if you must. 
• You have all the tools within you to reset your body and to stay on program.

This may be hard, but you are worth it:

• Push away cravings and then push them away again and again until they go away. Repeat as necessary.
• Be patient with yourself and your journey. It may take 2 to 6 weeks for sugar (carbs break down into sugar) to leave your system. 
• Losing your weight will take as long as it takes, so make this journey the best it can be. 

Stay the course and you will arrive at your goal size and learn how to maintain that size. You are so worth this!

Are there key-friends out there who are willing to share words of wisdom with Paula? We'd love to hear from you.

November 19, 2015

Benjamin Franklin once said: If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail!" In order for me to be successful on my weight loss journey, planning is essential. Without a plan, I find myself hungry and with no food in the house. This is never a good thing. Exercise is no different. If I don't schedule time into my week to exercise, it just doesn't happen. So, what's a girl to do? Make a plan that you will stick to – sign up for a 5K run – and encourage a key-friend to sign up too.

Plan to succeed

I'm pushing hard to finish my weight loss journey by the end of January and begin maintenance. It is with this intention that I put exercise as a top priority in my life once again. I had stopped running last December after the Hot Chocolate 5K run in Northampton. A couple of months ago I started training for the 5K this weekend and I ran a few times with my key-friend. It's been inspiring knowing that she too is training and that we'll enter this race together.

One afternoon while I was running alone beside a lake, I reconnected with the runner within me. It felt empowering to have this connection ignited. Meanwhile, my pace is slow and I won't finish all my training before the race. . .

Hush little mean girl!

This is not about perfection. It's about seeing my commitment through. It's about doing the best I can do and not beating myself up when I didn't do as much or as well as I hoped. It's about staying the course. It's about continuing to move forward. When race day arrives, I'll do the best I can and I will feel proud when the race is over.

After the race this weekend, I have 2 months before the 5k in December. I'll continue training and work on increasing my pace.  It's about not finishing first or preparing for a marathon. It's about seeing my goal to the end. It's about pushing my body in a healthy way to reach its potential.

Staying the course on my weight loss program is no different than staying the course with my exercise goals. My weight loss has taken much longer than I ever imagined it would. My journey has had imperfect moments. Those moments pass and I continue on. This weight loss journey is not a race, but I do want to finish and reach my goal.

What about you? Are you staying the course on your weight loss journey? Are you challenging yourself physically? What can you do today to help your weight loss journey move closer toward your goal size?

October 08, 2015