A friend recently asked me what I would do if I gained all my weight back. I was afraid to even answer the question. I can't imagine what I would do. I'd be devastated. Over the holidays a plea for help came from someone who has gained all the weight they lost and is unsure as to where to go from here on their weight loss journey.

Theresa in summer of 2004 (30/32) versus summer of 2015 (14/16)

Here's the question:

I went to Julie about 4 years ago, did really well for me, and then gave up. I can't forgive myself or my terrible weight gain. At my heaviest and so sad. Work full-time now and can't afford to go back. Friends tell me it wouldn't help anyway because I am a "rule breaker" and hypnosis doesn't work for us.

What do you think?

—Anonymous

What I think is this: your weight loss journey is yours and only you can decide what you can and can not do. Your friends can't tell you how to resolve your food issues; only you can do this. Only you know what is possible and even this is questionable, as there are many times in life when each of us have far exceeded our own limits. You can do this if you really want to. You did it once and you can do it again.

That doesn't mean it will be easy, but if it was easy then none of us would have weight problems. We each need to learn to trust ourselves to eat the right foods and then repeat, repeat, repeat, until we are in our goal size and learn how to maintain that size.

As far as being a rule breaker, well what if you break the rule about being a rule breaker and become some one who doesn't break the rules?

Hypnosis may not work for your friends, but it worked for you. You can't go by what others believe possible for you. You must once again learn that you can trust yourself and your body. The fact that you did 'really well' on this program four years ago speaks volumes as to whether you can trust yourself or your body.

Okay, so you made a mistake or two and then things got out of control. Move on. Forgive yourself. Stop being so mean to yourself and let go of what you could have, should have, but didn't do, and move on. Yes, you can get your food cravings back in line. Yes, you can learn to trust yourself once again. Yes, you can do this.

Yesterday's post from Momomig, Elevated Status, said this about cravings:

Cravings are nothing more than a thought. You observe that a food would taste nice. Like you observe that a car is nice, that a hair color is pretty, that someone's home is lovely... you don't necessarily obtain that thing - you simply notice it and go about your life.

Can you do this on your own or do you need a refresher? I can't answer this and neither can anyone else. There are key-followers who report gaining back all their weight and then taking it off again all on their own. There are also those who gained the weight back and went for a refresher and found success that way. You get to choose here. You did it once, you can do it again, with or without the refresher. Dig deep and decide what will work for you.

As far as not being able to afford to go back for a refresher, sure it's not cheap, but junk food isn't cheap either. If I were to add up what I spent in a day on junk food and then multiply that out...well it all adds up to a lot of money and fast.

Do some math with me on this. I'll keep it simple by looking at just one junk food item I used to eat several times a week: ice cream. One container of Ben and Jerry's ice cream averages about $4.50. If I had 3 containers a week, that adds up to $54 a month. If I ate out at a fast food place 3 time a week I'd easily spend $10 a meal, which is another $120.

BOOM—$175 in a month on junk food! Easily. I'm sure it was even more.

Spending the money to go to a refresher is like spending money on medicine. You spend the money, but if you don't take the meds (follow the program) then you're not going to get better (drop your weight).

Go shopping and get the right foods in your house and start eating key-friendly foods now. You won't get in for a refresher until March at the earliest, so you have at least eight weeks before you can get in. This gives you two months to get yourself on program and if you feel like you still need help (a refresher), you'll have some time to save up money too.

You are not a bad or horrible person because you gained all your weight back. You are not a failure either. You aren't the only one this has happened to and while this may not make you feel any better, I hope that you find hope in knowing others have been where you are and they were able to reach their goal size once again.

Welcome back to the river (on program). I wish you well on your journey.

Here are some responses I've received for you...

Wise words indeed!

F.A.I.L. means first attempt in learning

Related:
Elevated Status

January 05, 2016

It's a new year and I'm cutting fat out of my foods and this boneless chuck roast was a great place to start. I made this in my crock pot this morning and I had a serving for lunch; it was yummy! If you don't have a crock pot, make this is a pan.

Boneless chuck roast with carrots and onions

Note: You may use your favorite spices to flavor your chuck roast instead of the Borsari Orange-Ginger seasoned salt that I used, which is a mixture of: sea salt, kosher salt, fresh garlic, fresh basil, fresh rosemary, black pepper, fresh orange peel, ginger. There are no preservatives, MSG, gluten or dehydrated ingredients.

Borsari Orange-Ginger seasoned salt

Ingredients

• 2.5 pound boneless chuck roast
• Borsari Orange-Ginger seasoned salt
• 4 cloves of garlic
• 1 large onion
• 6 whole carrots
• 3/4 cups of water (or beef broth)
• 2 Tablespoons of fresh parsley (optional)

Instructions

Sprinkle the roast with Borsari Orange-Ginger seasoned salt on all sides and then add the roast to a crock pot. Some people prefer to brown the edges of the roast before adding it to the crock pot. Since this is a low fat weight loss program, I chose not to do this and my roast was delicious without browning it first.

Add remaining ingredients to pot: sliced or smashed garlic cloves, large onion sliced or diced as you prefer (I cut my onion into 6 slices), carrots cut into thirds, and water or broth. You may substitute the vegetables.

Cook on high for five hours.

Cook in crock pot or in a pan on the stove.

Optional: pour broth over roast and veggies and then garnish dish with fresh parsley. This dish is also delicious served over Celeriac and Parsnip Mash.

Serve in a bowl with or without the broth

Remove any visible fat as you serve this dish. I missed a piece, as you can see in the photo above, but I did not eat it.

I refrigerated the leftover broth and I'll remove any fat that hardens on the top before I reheat it.

Related: Celeriac and Parsnip Mash

January 05, 2016

Our key-friend Martine has perfected this recipe for making key-friendly cloud bread, which is great for burgers and any kind of sandwich. A few months ago I had Martine's cloud bread sandwiches and—wow—it was so delicious! So many key-friends have made this recipe, that I've added a ton of their beautiful cloud bread photos.

Cloud bread with tuna salad

Note: There is an art to making this bread, so read and follow the directions carefully.

 Preparation

• Chill a small bowl (which you will use to whip the egg whites)
• Preheat oven to 300 degrees

Ingredients

• 3 eggs, separated
• 3 tablespoons of or Greek Yogurt (or whole milk cottage cheese)
• 1/4 teaspoon of lemon juice (optional)
• Parchment paper to line pans

Instructions

Separate the eggs very carefully, there must be NO yolks in the whites.

Separate yolks from whites

If you want to experiment with flavor, add your favorite herbs or spices to the egg yolk mixture before you fold it into the egg whites.

In a chilled bowl, add the egg whites and 1/4 teaspoon of lemon juice, and then beat on high speed until fluffy and form stiff peaks.

Beat until fluffy and forms stiff peaks

This is what will happen if you don't whip your whites enough. This is not a good thing.

Your bread will not turn out right if you don't beat the whites enough.

In another bowl, mix together the egg yolks and 3 tablespoons of cottage cheese.

Very carefully fold the egg yolk mixture into the egg whites until mixed, but try not to break down the fluffiness.

Carefully fold the 2 mixtures together

Line cookie sheets with parchment paper.

With a large spoon, scoop the mixture into 10 even rounds on the sheets about the size of the top-half a good size hamburger bun. Roughly 3/4 inch thick and 4 to 5 inch across.

Add caption

Place pan on the middle rack of your oven and bake.

Here is when you have to watch them, because the cooking is not the same on any two batches. It is somewhere around 1/2 hour, but could be less or more. You need to watch them until they are a nice golden brown, the color of a hamburger bun.

Remove from the pans and cool on a rack or cutting board.

Cool cloud bread on racks

While they are warm they are crumbly and similar to a cooked meringue, but don't let this fool you! They will become bread-like when they cool off.

The recipe does not preservatives, so follow storage instructions below if you plan to keep these for more than one day.

Storage

• Once completely cooled, seal them in a plastic storage baggie or a plastic container store in the fridge. 
• If you are freezing more than one layer, separate the layers with parchment paper.

Martine's burger on cloud bread

I haven't made cloud bread yet, but I had Martine's cloud bread with chicken salad and OMG the sandwich was so incredible. Of course I took photos! So many key-friends have made this cloud bread, that I've asked for their permission to include their photos here as well.

Cloud bread with chicken salad

Cloud bread with chicken salad

Catherine's cloud bread fresh from the oven.

Catherine's chicken salad on cloud bread

Gail's cloud bread cooling on the racks

Jean's first batch of cloud bread

Lou's sliced his cloud bread and put a burger in the middle.

Related:

More Ideas of What to Do with Cloud Bread

Mental and Physical Freedom - Martine's weight loss journey.

January 05, 2016

Today's post comes from Momomig, who shares words of wisdom with us about cravings and how to level them. Each time we have cravings, we get choose what to do about them: push away those thoughts or cave into them? How will you respond when cravings come your way?

Cravings: how will you respond to them?

Tomorrow (Jan. 4, 2016) I am beginning a 3 month program of cardiac rehab. I must do some things that are not key-friendly - such as weighing myself every morning for 3 months. When I explained my predicament to my doctor, he told me to think of it a measuring my water weight and not my actual weight. I understand that with heart failure, one must be careful of excess fluid. I also understand that this is only for a few months. So I will do what they say, and be mindful of my salt and fluid...

Of greater interest to the Key Folks, I was reading literature from those who successfully completed cardiac rehab... One of the writers observed that we tend to give "cravings" an elevated status! She pointed out that cravings are nothing more than a thought. You observe that a food would taste nice. Like you observe that a car is nice, that a hair color is pretty, that someone's home is lovely... you don't necessarily obtain that thing - you simply notice it and go about your life... I LOVE IT!

I see a lovely food, appreciate its beauty, and go about my day...

--Momomig

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on how to deal with cravings Momomig.

I wish you well in your cardiac rehab program.

January 04, 2016

It's that time of year when all our favorite foods are everywhere. What do we do? We do the same things we do the rest of the year: we step away from the dessert table and stay on our weight loss journey. Let's all have a key-friendly holiday. Push away those cravings and step into our next smaller size jeans!

Wishing you a key-friendly holiday!

I'm going on vacation next week, which means I'll avoid all those foods that call out to me at holiday parties:

"Psst...over here...remember me? We used to be friends...What happened?"

I dropped from a size 30-32 to a 14-16 is what happened. And, by the way, we never really were friends.

For my holiday vacation I'm driving with family to Florida and back. We'll be staying at a hotel, which means I'll be outside of my safe home environment (food-wise) and easy access to key-friendly foods for twelve days.

But wait a minute! I have easy access to key-friendly foods no matter where I go - right? Yes, that is right. In fact, my food options won't be that much different than at home, except I won't have the temptations of holiday party foods, because I won't be going to those parties.

Being on the road and staying at hotels is a whole different game, but I've been on this almost five years now and I know that I'll do just fine. I know what foods to bring with me. I also know I don't need to pack food for 12 days, as there's no shortage of food between here and Florida. I won't starve! I will stay on my weight loss journey because I'm planning on it.

I'd be overly optimistic to tell you I'll blog from the road to let you know what my food struggles are and how I handle them. In my mind that will happen, but in reality, I'm not so sure, so I'm not making any promises to post from the road.

What about you? Are you planning to have a key-friendly holiday this year? We can all do this! Let's bring in the new year feeling great about what we've done for ourselves this year: staying on program and moving closer to our goal sizes!

Wishing each and every one of you a key-friendly holiday!

Meanwhile, pardon the missing images on all my earlier blog posts. I won't have time to resolve this technical issue until the new year. It's embarrassing, but here I am.



Image source: Tiffany & Company

December 19, 2015

All my blog photos are gone, but I'm still here and I'm not going anywhere and I will continue this blog! A few days I discovered all my blog photos were showing up in Google+ and I didn't know why or how that happened, so I deleted them.

Sigh.

It turns out that my blog photos are stored in Google+ and in deleting them all four years of my blog photos have disappeared! Yikes. 

I didn't know of the connection to my blogger photos and Google+, so I did not know to back up the Google+ photos. I'll check if my blog back up includes those photos and a few other possibilities. Meanwhile, I added the top and left images.

I plan to continue this blog, but getting all those photos back is going to take an incredible amount of time. 

This may be a sign that it's time to move to a different blogging tool than this one (blogger). 

December 01, 2015

A weight loss journey is solo journey. Individually, we choose again and again to stay the course, to push away cravings every time they come at us or to cave into them. To give in to our cravings, does not mean we are doomed to gain back all our weight again and if that does happen, it does not mean we will never be able to get back on program once again. The path to the river is there for us whenever we want to start again.

The path to the river is there for you any time you're ready.

There is hope for those who have fallen off program: start again right now. If you fell off a year ago or five minutes ago, start again now. Get back in the river this moment and stay the course once again. Forgive yourself and focus on your goal size. Do this on your own or call Julie's office for a refresher, either way - decide right now to continue your journey. Don't fall to the old pattern of promising yourself you'll start "tomorrow" or after the holidays. The infamous tomorrow never comes and the holidays, well they are for celebrating and what better way to celebrate than by feeling good about your life?

In my recent blog post, Welcome Back, Paula, one of our key-friends indicated she had fallen off program and asked us for help. Some indicated you too had gone off program and that you were able to get back in the river (on program); everyone's feedback was inspiring. Thank you all for your supportive comments.

I hope this inspirational update from Paula will inspire those who are still struggling to return to the river and continue your weight loss journey...

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! The outpouring of encouragement, support and love has been overwhelming. For a long while, I thought I was all alone in having gone off the track.

I was surprised at how easy the program was to do when I started, but at how hard it was to get back in the river. I think I was believing that the river was cold and rough. But your posts have reminded me that the river is gentle and soothing - it is about being kind to your body. Giving it nourishment when it is needed. Giving it exercise to help it move and dispel stress. Keeping it free of the things that make it feel sluggish and achy and hungry.
I also realized that I was rather isolated in this process. The only resource I could consult for inspiration was this blog - and it's a great blog!!!

But in my everyday life, I was encountering many folks who would give me the side - eye and chastise me for foregoing fruit, or grains, or for eating dairy.

"No milk" they cry - dairy is bad! You must have fruit daily!

I need to be stronger in my conviction that Key is the way for me! I know from experience that carbs are not for me. Now I need to let all this "advice" roll off my back with a gentle "thank you for your concern."

I also appreciate hearing everyone's words of wisdom. This is one clever and articulate group. I especially needed to hear that what I need to do is picture myself back in that room and remember what I learned. It is all still in me. I just need to access it.

I am also so grateful to those who shared that they too have sometimes wandered out of the river. I send them support and encouragement too. We are not alone, we have each other.

Finally, I hope Theresa realizes how much this blog means to me - and how much it seems to mean to so many others. Please understand, Ms. Theresa, that you have many, many people who find a great deal of support in your blog and that we are so thankful.

And speaking of giving thanks - some people in my life are questioning why I am getting back in the river so close to Thanksgiving. I have two answers: One, Julie told us at my third session, shortly before Thanksgiving, to write a card to put on or under our plate at Thanksgiving - a card that says that the meal is our gift to ourselves. Two: butternut squash!

Happy Thanksgiving to all. You are all AMAZING!

Paula, it sounds to me like you are already stronger in your convictions! I'm so glad to hear you are on your journey once again! Your story will no doubt inspire others. Thanks for sharing your optimistic turn-around.

I won't be posting again this week, as today's post is full of incredible inspiration, so I'll wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving today and I'll post again next week.

November 23, 2015

I saw a comment from Paula asking if I am well, as I haven't blogged for a while. Yes Paula, I am well and thank you for asking. I've been focusing on my consulting business: creating documentary videos and family memory videos. I will publish a blog post before Thanksgiving, as it has been way too long since my last post!

Meanwhile, I want to address Paula's plea for inspiration:

I am particularly looking for inspiration now, as I am ashamed to say I gained all my weight back and now must start over. Very poor choices on my part, and a number of medical issues - mine and others. So, I am getting back in the river, and looking forward to more of your posts.

—Paula

First, welcome back to the river Paula!

Second, here are a few things to remember as you start you second phase on your weight loss journey.

Remember:

• Forgive yourself. Feeling bad or guilty about what you've done will not help you in any way.
• Leave behind the reasons and the self-judgement around having to start again. 
• Believe in yourself and choose to feel good about your journey today.
• Feel proud of yourself for returning to the river and starting once again. 
• Leave shame behind, as you can not change the past, you can only change what you do from this moment forward. 
• Feel proud of yourself that you have returned to your weight loss journey and do whatever it takes to continue feeling good.
• You can do this; affirm this daily, several times a day if you must. 
• You have all the tools within you to reset your body and to stay on program.

This may be hard, but you are worth it:

• Push away cravings and then push them away again and again until they go away. Repeat as necessary.
• Be patient with yourself and your journey. It may take 2 to 6 weeks for sugar (carbs break down into sugar) to leave your system. 
• Losing your weight will take as long as it takes, so make this journey the best it can be. 

Stay the course and you will arrive at your goal size and learn how to maintain that size. You are so worth this!

Are there key-friends out there who are willing to share words of wisdom with Paula? We'd love to hear from you.

November 19, 2015

Benjamin Franklin once said: If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail!" In order for me to be successful on my weight loss journey, planning is essential. Without a plan, I find myself hungry and with no food in the house. This is never a good thing. Exercise is no different. If I don't schedule time into my week to exercise, it just doesn't happen. So, what's a girl to do? Make a plan that you will stick to – sign up for a 5K run – and encourage a key-friend to sign up too.

Plan to succeed

I'm pushing hard to finish my weight loss journey by the end of January and begin maintenance. It is with this intention that I put exercise as a top priority in my life once again. I had stopped running last December after the Hot Chocolate 5K run in Northampton. A couple of months ago I started training for the 5K this weekend and I ran a few times with my key-friend. It's been inspiring knowing that she too is training and that we'll enter this race together.

One afternoon while I was running alone beside a lake, I reconnected with the runner within me. It felt empowering to have this connection ignited. Meanwhile, my pace is slow and I won't finish all my training before the race. . .

Hush little mean girl!

This is not about perfection. It's about seeing my commitment through. It's about doing the best I can do and not beating myself up when I didn't do as much or as well as I hoped. It's about staying the course. It's about continuing to move forward. When race day arrives, I'll do the best I can and I will feel proud when the race is over.

After the race this weekend, I have 2 months before the 5k in December. I'll continue training and work on increasing my pace.  It's about not finishing first or preparing for a marathon. It's about seeing my goal to the end. It's about pushing my body in a healthy way to reach its potential.

Staying the course on my weight loss program is no different than staying the course with my exercise goals. My weight loss has taken much longer than I ever imagined it would. My journey has had imperfect moments. Those moments pass and I continue on. This weight loss journey is not a race, but I do want to finish and reach my goal.

What about you? Are you staying the course on your weight loss journey? Are you challenging yourself physically? What can you do today to help your weight loss journey move closer toward your goal size?

October 08, 2015

How many things did you avoid when you were at your largest size? Did you avoid certain activities because you physically could not do them or because you felt too self-conscious to do them in public? Gardening is something I avoided for years because it was too painful physically. Bending over in public? OMG, that was not going to happen while I was wearing a 30/32 shorts. Thankfully, those excuses no longer hold up.

December 2012: vs September 2015: gardening

Last weekend I planted an Arborvitae in my garden and I enjoyed digging in the soil and getting my hands dirty. I did not have any pain and I wasn't self-conscious about bending over. Well, I was later that evening when my neighbor emailed a few photos she took of me gardening.

When I received her photos, I sighed. I thought I was smaller.

The next day I printed the two photos shown above and glued them onto a card. All week I moved these photos from room to room around the house. Throughout my day, it seemed as if my larger self was pointing at me standing in the garden saying, "Yes, there is more distance to travel, but look at how far you've come!"

Keeping these photos close to hand is a great way to measure my success. I have also uncovered a big non-scale victory: I am free to move about the garden! (Pain-free)

On the topic of measuring success, here's a question that came in from one of you this week:

Are measurements OK? I think of them as a set point like knowing that number on the scale so I have stayed away from taking them. Any input would be helpful. I have reached the size I wanted to be, but am afraid to start maintenance, because there are areas that still do not meet the image I had of myself regardless of my pants size. I am curious about my measurements, so if anyone has feedback please chime in. Thank you. —Anonymous

Yes, taking your measurements is an excellent tool to measure your success. I'm sorry I didn't do this more often. A few weeks ago, I stumbled upon my measurements, which I only took once a year. I took my measurements that day and have marked my calendar to do this again in two months.

Another way to measure success is by how your clothes fit. Many of my key friends who are on maintenance have an outfit that they use to measure where they are. Recently I thought this is a good thing for me to do, even though I'm not at goal yet. If I can see where I am in my clothes, it will help me to stay focused on reaching my goal.

Related Posts

• Success Comes in More than One Way, August 9, 2015
• Measuring Success, January 14, 2013
• Numbers and Photos, January 20, 2013

September 24, 2015

Dictionary.com provides this historical reference to salacity: salacity, once aroused, even in a minister, allows no room for reason or for conscience. That's precisely how I felt for an entire day few weeks ago, I had extreme sugar cravings and my appetite was salacious.

While in this state of mind, I could not reason with myself and I didn't know how to shake it off. I became so consumed with thoughts of having sugar that I could not think straight. The cravings were stronger than I've had in many years, but I kept pushing them back.

I knew that feeding the "beast" large amounts of beef was the best way to calm down my cravings, but wow—I haven't felt such an obsession in years. I felt like a crazy person. I was a crazy person!

By early evening, I was on my way to the movies and the cravings were still coming on strong. I decided to stop and buy some beef jerky to eat before going into the theater. While in the ticket line, many different foods were calling out sweet things to me, like a street corner hooker calls out to a man in a Lamborghini: "Psst...over here."

Inside the movie theater, my belly full of beef jerky, I focused on the movie and hoped the cravings were over. Once outside the theater, I discovered they were not gone. The food smells from restaurants around town were triggering my cravings as I waked around Amherst. Then Negative Nellie started talking to me.

"Just have one cookie. Just have one small one...."

No! Tap, tap, tap!

I told Nellie to go away and I went into Starbucks for a Flat White (coffee with whipped milk).

I wanted to reach my goal of 15,000 walking steps that night, so after my coffee, I continued to walk around town. After reaching my goal steps, I headed to the lot where my car was parked. As I climbed into my car, it felt like a switch flipped off and suddenly the loud voices  that were in my head all day long were quiet. Silence! Ah!

That's when I had an epiphany. In that moment I realize something I hadn't quite understood about the "once and done" concept:

When you have food cravings and you keep pushing them back, and you don't cave into them no matter what—they stop! You just have to keep pushing back.

It really is this simple!  If I keep tapping away those cravings, my goal size is straight ahead of me—I only have to do this journey once and then I'm done (at my goal).

Suddenly I realized if I don't listen to those voices, if I keep tapping them away (pushing back), they go away and I can resume a quiet life once again. No more Negative Nellie tempting me to have "just one bite." No more feeling like a crazy person.

What a relief!

It's been a few weeks since that walk around Amherst. I've been living this lesson ever since and I can see and feel changes in my body once again.

This is so exciting! Yes—I'm doing this!

What about you? Have you been wrestling with yourself about food choices? Shake it off! Say no to those cravings again, and again, and again. You can do this too!

September 14, 2015

At the end of the day on August first I was disappointed in myself. I only walked 5,000 steps—half of my daily goal. I was worried I was starting another month of failing to reach my walking goals. Oh no you don't...one less than perfect day isn't going to get me down. I tossed Negative Nellie (my inner critic and Little Mean Girl's sister) to the curb and on August second I stepped up reach my goal.

Negative Nellie - Little Mean Girl's sister

Not only have I reached 10,000 steps every day since—I've exceed my daily goal—and yesterday I walked 18,997 steps. Yeah! It feels fabulous to be walking consistently once again.

The definition of goal* is the result or achievement toward which effort is directed. Did you notice failure is not part of the equation in defining goal? It is referenced in "goal in technology:" A goal may fail or it may succeed in one or more ways. Now this I can wrap my head around, as there will be times when our efforts don't add up to the achievement we aimed for that day, that week, or that month. We let go of what we could have or should have done and keep pushing ourselves.

I track my daily steps with a Fitbit. This gadget is not about tracking my failures. It's meant to keep me motivated. It also connects me with my friends, whom inspire me when I see their successes. Negative Nellie sometimes has a field day with my friend's data. She loves to point out how much more someone else is doing than I am.

Listen up Nellie—no matter how you choose to look at this—a glass is always half full—I choose to see the glass half full.

Our weight loss goals may fail or succeed in more than one way too. Those times where we convinced ourselves it was okay to eat giant chunks of cheese at a party, because at least it wasn't sugar. Yes, it's great that we didn't eat sugar, but all that cheese is keeping us from losing more weight.

Do you see how overeating cheese, or whatever you may be eating inappropriately, is keeping you from you longer term effort to reach your goal size? This was my major light bulb moment at the refresher I went to recently.

Each food choice we make and each decision we choose about exercise—moves us closer or further from our goal size. How will you direct your efforts today?


*Modern Language Association (MLA): "goal." Dictionary.com

August 09, 2015

Have you been wondering how long is it going to take to reach your goal size? Are you at a loss with what to do? Perhaps it's time to surrender. I'm not talking about surrendering to your sweet cravings or giving up your weight loss journey. I'm talking about surrendering to yourself. I recently experienced my own sweet surrender...

I am half the size I was before I began this journey!

For reasons that I don't understand, I forget how big I used to be. I'm half the size I was 4 years ago—how can I forget that? When my Little Mean Girl and her sister Negative Nellie filled my head with self-doubt and temptations and telling these inner critics to hush didn't do the trick, it was time to look back at my journey, to remember where I started, how far I've come, and to find motivation to keep going.

Seeing my old photographs helps me put things in perspective. Seeing the photos above, especially my 2010 photo, instantly hushed those inner critics.

By March 2011, two months after my sessions with Julie, my weight loss became noticeable. I still remember how incredible I felt when that photo was taken. I was visiting friends in California and they all wanted to know what diet I was following.

By 2012 I dropped enough weight to once again have a waistline. Woo-woo! Jogging and walking had become as essential as brushing my teeth. My waist became more defined, but all I could see was how big my belly and hips were.

I cringed every time I looked in the mirror and I constantly said, "My hips, oh my hips—when are they ever going to get smaller?" I don't remember when I stopped focusing on my hips, probably around December 2014, but I'm happy that phase is over.

Today I gathered photos that made me cringe and compiled the image below. I still cringe, but I don't look like these photos today, which is my point—take photos along the way so you can see your progress.

 As I lost weight, all I saw was how big my belly and hips were.

A few weeks ago, I had a photo taken of me in the same dress I wore in the summer of 2012. As you can see in photo below, my dress faded—and I  gradually disappeared too; I wasn't able to see my changes until today. There's a whole lot less of me now than three summers ago.

August 2012 vs July 2015

Yes, my belly and hips are still bigger than I want, but I hear this comment from women in size four and up. I let go of what I want my body to look like and focus my energy instead in answering the question: what do I need to do today to help me reach my goal size? Immediately I ponder if I'm on a plateau.

Yes, plateaus are part of the process, as our bodies need time to heal, but try telling that to my Little Mean Girl. Sometimes Little Mean Girl gets the better of me and questions: just how long is it going to take to get to goal size? Why do others lose weight so much faster?

Her sister Negative Nellie then chimes in: it's been over four years—you can have this—just this one time.

Looking at photos helped quiet down Little Mean Girl and Negative Nellie, but I still felt stuck, so I took a look at my life in another way: reading my old journals.

December 2, 2001 Journal

Over and over I wrote of promises to stick to (yet another) diet, of feeling like a failure because (once again) I failed to stay on my diet, and of overeating to a point of pain:

September 21, 2009: My stomach aches from what I ate for dinner last night: 8 slices of pizza and an entire pint of ice cream. I don't want to feel this way anymore. Today I begin my new diet. 

September 27, 2009: Tomorrow I will start my new diet.

Reading these words, reminded me what my life used to be like as an obese woman. I'm grateful those kinds of thoughts no longer consume me.

A few weeks ago, when I was walking I almost ran into a tree. I was reading my Facebook news feed as I walked, which is something I do not recommend. In that moment I realized I have been asleep in many ways.

I don't want to go through life asleep. That's how I was living before I started this weight loss journey. Eating ice cream as my main meal, I often fell into a coma-like state on my couch. I don't miss feeling that way one bit.

Back to the question: what can I do today to reach my goal size? Forget the question about being on a plateau, it just derails me and puts my focus on feeling sorry for myself.

What else can I do? That's when it hit me: If I'm to reach my goal size, I must surrender. I haven't been able to give up the excess cheese and I haven't been able to cut back on my portions or the fat. This is why I'm on a plateau! I surrendered to the fact that I'm stuck and I need help. I picked up the phone and called to book a refresher.

Little Mean Girl instantly stepped in and filled my head with thoughts of being a failure because I needed a refresher. Once the session began, all those thoughts dissolved. A refresher was what I needed to keep moving forward toward my goal. I'm fully awake and focused once again.

What about you? Have you been asleep or lost your way?

You get to choose if you are able to continue on your own to reach your goal or if you need a refresher.

Either way, it's time to wake up, time to surrender to yourself,  it's time to reach your goal size. Once and done.

Photobombed by Linda

August 06, 2015

This weekend some of our blog contributors and key-friends gathered for a pool party and potluck. I promised them no photos, so none of us would feel uncomfortable when we put on our swimsuits, but of course I had to take food photos!

Key-friendly potluck

Our key-gathering was wonderful and mother nature worked with us. Yes, we had thunderstorms. Yes, we got rained on while grilling spareribs, chicken, and hot dogs. Yes, we moved our table three times and then ended up eating indoors. After we ate, the weather warmed up, we put on our suits, and went into the pool.

What was incredible was that every one of the dishes was key-friendly (photos below) and delicious. There was one dish that came with a warning: all these ingredients are key-friendly, however the amount of fat and cheese in this dish may slow down your weight loss.

Of course, that was the favorite dish and we all wanted the recipe - me included. I posted the recipe to the blog earlier today, but it will be a long time before I make this dish. I want to achieve my goal size and eating clean is the only way this will happen. All foods rich in fat and cheese will have to wait. If I'm bored with my foods, then I need to switch them up. This is not the time for me to dive into cheesy or fatty foods. My goal size awaits me!

Speaking of eating clean, in a recent conversation with key friends, unrelated to the pool party gathering, an interesting food question came up that I want to explore:

Why is it that we can have fake rice (cauliflower), French fries (butternut squash sticks), mashed potatoes (mashed cauliflower), spaghetti (spaghetti squash), but something like cloud bread is a no-no? 

Here are a few responses:

• I'm not sure if cloud bread is a no-no, but it isn't a meat or a vegetable
• call the office to clarify (always good advice)
• Because it makes your body think you are eating "bread"

My interpretation: Fake rice, French fries, mashed potatoes, spaghetti are prepared in their original form and there are no added ingredients aside from spices or condiments and sometimes butter.

The more I think about this, the more the line begins to blur. There are a lot of things I "allow" myself that may fall into question on this basis, such as cauliflower buns. Meatballs have added egg and cheese. I could list more. I get how we find this confusing.

It's important that we don't blur the line. To keep things clear, follow the advice of one wise key friend:

Ask yourself this question: is it a meat or a vegetable? 

If it's neither a meat nor a vegetable then you may want to abstain until you reach you goal size.

Are you bored of the foods you are eating? I get bored too, but if we stay focused on eating clean, meats and veggies with a little bit of condiments, then we will reach our goal quicker. This is not about losing weight quickly, it's about making choices along your journey that will help you reach your goal.

It really is this simple: eat clean to reach your goal.

Be careful of looking for loopholes, as this is a slippery slope.

Meat Dishes

• Pulled pork
• Deviled eggs
• Hotdogs 
• Grilled chicken 
• Grilled spareribs
• Beef jerky
• Chili
• Ham roll-ups
• Shrimp with cocktail sauce
• Chicken salad with veggies 

Salads

• Coleslaw 
• Veggies and feta salad 
• Mock potato salad
• Pickles
• Arugula salad
• No Mac and Cheese

Yes, we had a lot of leftovers to take home.

BTW, This program is all about choices. You get to chose what you eat and when you eat, including this recipe. The No Mac and Cheese may not be appropriate for where you are on your weight loss journey, as there's a lot of cheese in this recipe.

July 20, 2015

This yummy recipe comes with a several warnings: While all these ingredients are key-friendly, the amount of fat and cheese in this dish may slow down your weight loss. This is one of those once-in-a-while dishes that you bring to a pot luck or to serve to company - do not make this if you are eating alone. As with any vegetable - eat lots of meat with this.
Ingredients

• 3 cups cooked and shredded spaghetti squash*
• 1/2 cup whole milk
• 1/2 teaspoon yellow or Dijon mustard
• 2 eggs
• 2 tablespoons sour cream
• 8 ounces freshly grated cheddar cheese (reserve a small amount to top the casserole)
• 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
• 2 tablespoons butter
• 1 medium chopped shallot (or 2 white parts of a scallion)
• 1 clove minced or grated garlic

*Cut the spaghetti squash in half lengthwise and scoop out the seeds first and bake it cut side down for 45 minutes at 350. Don't shred it until it cools down.

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees
2. Melt the butter in a saucepan. Add the shallot or scallions and garlic. Cook 2-3 minutes until it softens.
3. Combine the milk and mustard in a separate bowl and slowly add the milk mixture.
4. Add the Parmesan and cheddar cheeses and stir until incorporated into the sauce. Remove from the heat.
5. Combine the eggs and sour cream in a large bowl and very slowly add small amounts of the cheese sauce to the egg mixture.
6. Pour over the spaghetti squash and stir in to combine completely.
7. Pour into a buttered casserole dish and top with reserved cheese.
8. Bake for 40-45 minutes until the casserole is browned and bubbling.

July 20, 2015

In 1996, while on a five-day walking tour of DC, I had my first experience with chronic pain. Each day in Washington ended with me in tears from knee and foot pain. That's when my relationship with Advil began and it would be many years before Advil and I parted ways. Breaking up with Advil was a major non-scale victory that had gone completely unnoticed until recently.

1996 with U.S. Senator Dianne Feinstein
2015 Before going to a wedding with my brother Carl and his wife Arlene

A few weeks ago, I was walking into a local diner for breakfast when my Fitbit buzzed me to indicate an incoming call on my cell. (I know, how cool is that? I love my Fitbit!) I decided to leave the diner and walked and talked with a friend.

An hour later, I went back to the diner and ordered breakfast: a meat lovers omelet, hold the toast, and no, please, no coffee.

With my belly full, I decided to continue walking, but a few feet from the parking lot my ankle hurt so much that I could barely walk. I hobbled back to my car.

My ankle throbbed as I drove home. I needed Advil, but I had no idea if I had any in the house. Before losing weight, this never would have happened. I used to take four Advil four times a day. I carried it with me 24/7 and I always had Advil at home, at work, and in my purse.

I didn't think I could walk from my car to the pharmacy, so despite the pain I felt each time I used my clutch, I took my chances that I would have Advil in my medicine cabinet.

At home I took two Advil and a nap. When I woke up I had far less pain and the next day I was pain-free. I'm sure that I healed quickly because of my weight loss and my walking.

I couldn't remember the last time I took anti-inflammatory medicine! What an incredible non-scale victory! And the funny thing is that until this ankle pain, I had completely forgotten that my life as an obese woman was full of chronic pain.

I don't miss those days, years really, one bit. My days of taking anti-inflammatory pills are over, except for the occasional twisted ankle.

What about you? How is your life different today than it was before losing weight? 

1996 with U.S. Senator Claiborne Pell
2015 at a family party with my brother Richard

July 07, 2015

Now that you've lost so much weight, what do you do with all those clothes that are too big for you? Should you keep them, just in case you gain the weight back? No! Forget about all those other times you lost weight and gained it back—get rid of clothes that are too big for you. Keeping them is like telling yourself you are going to gain the weight back. No—we not!

Thinning out my closets

You have several options as to what to do with clothes that are too big for you: give them away, sell them on eBay, take them to a consignment store, donate them, or have them tailored.

After my first year on program, I invited a friend over and told her "take what you want" and she left with three large over-stuffed bags of clothes. Two days later I did the same with another friend and she left with four large over-stuffed bags. Having been the recipient of many bags of clothing given to me by key-friends, who were perfect strangers at the time, it felt good to do this.

There were  times when I passed along an item I cherished to someone I thought would appreciate it. I gave my favorite blue leather jacket to a friend last year and this year she when it was too big for her, she gave back to me so I could take it to a consignment store.

I used to sell my larger clothes on eBay, but these days I prefer taking things to a consignment store. Specifically, one that doesn't require hangers or ironing. There are Facebook groups where you can sell things, but I really like the idea that if my item doesn't sell it is donated and I never have to see them again. I like the simplicity of this.

To make things easier and to keep me organized, I have a plastic bin and a large trash bag in my clothes closet. When I try something on and find it's too big or I don't like it anymore, I immediately choose: consignment store or donate?

If I'm going to donate the item, it goes right into the plastic bag and the consignment items go into the bin. This helps me know at a quick glance what's for consignment and what's for donation. There have been a few times when I mixed things up and later realized items I wanted to take to consignment were donated. Oh well, they're out of my closet at least!

Bins to take to a consignment store
Winter on left and summer on right

I usually get rid of clothes before the start of each season. This spring, I pulled all my summer clothes out of the bins and I tried on every one of them. I hung up the items I wanted to keep and the rest went into a bin or a bag. Pieces that are too small that I want to keep went back into the bin.

By the way, I use the bins to carry my stuff to my car and into the store. Then they go back home with me. Someday I expect I'll take the bins to the consignment store and ask them if they want to sell my bins.

This year when thinning out my closet, I asked myself a few questions about the clothes that are too small for me, to help me really thin out my summer wardrobe:

• Do I still love it? 
• Will I ever wear it again? 
• Is it really ever going to fit me? 

I decided that by the time some of these items fit nicely at my hips, especially dresses, the top is going to be too big. This year, those items went into a consignment bin.

Each year I have less bins than the year before. At the moment, I only have one bin of smaller sized summer clothes in my closet. Winter, well I still have a ton of winter clothes, but I'll thin them out in September. Meanwhile, there are several bins full of winter clothes and others that hang in one of my closets.

There are random times of the year when I ask myself: Why do I have so much in my closet and at the same time I feel as if I have nothing to wear? In those moments, I know it's time to thin out my closet again.

A couple weeks ago I took my favorite dress to a tailor. I bought it three years ago and when I wore it on a cruise last year I was sorry that I hadn't taken it to be altered. I wore it to a wedding a few weeks ago and before wearing it to a second wedding this past weekend, I had the tailor take in about 4 inches under the arms.

May 2013 vs May 2014 vs June 2015

This was one of those times when I followed my instincts and it paid off.  Everyone told me the dress looked great and there was no need to take it in, but it felt too big. I can see this dress doesn't look much different in these photos, each taken a year apart, but it feels like a better fit. It was well worth the $28 to have it altered.

I wish I had taken my Capri's to a tailor instead of a consignment store. I can't find any Capri's at the store that fit and for a few dollars I could have just had the waist taken it.

I can't wait until I no longer need bins for all my clothes, to use my three closets for my clothes, (yes, I do know how lucky I am to have 3 closets in one room), to no longer have clothes that are too big or too small—only clothes that fit, to be able to quickly see what I have in my closet, to not have struggle with clothes packed in so tightly that I can't find anything, and to not own so many pieces of clothing!

Hey, a girl can dream can't she?

What about you? What's inside your closet? Is it time for you to remove clothes that are too big for you? It feels fabulous to let go of them, regardless whether you sell, donate, or offer them a friend. It's very freeing! Set yourself free my friends.

Remember—you are not going to gain that weight back, so you don't need clothes that are too big.

June 19, 2015

Are you searching for motivation to re-start your weight loss journey? Have you fallen off program and you can't get back on? Do you sometimes think about how all "this time" you could have been so much further on you journey if only you... STOP right here? Don't beat yourself up for what you could have or should have done—instead—choose to start again right now.

Dec. 2000: I was a hostage to food
June 2015: I choose not to be a hostage to food

If you've been off-program, jump back in the river this moment. Don't wait another day. 

If you feel like you can't get back on-program because you lack discipline or motivation, take a look around and you'll see this isn't true elsewhere in your life and it isn't true in this area either.  Let go of that inner critic who is judging your for not staying the course; that critic who is holding you hostage.

Trust yourself that you have the tools to see your weight loss journey through and right now make your weight journey your top priority.

When you wake up tomorrow morning, pat yourself on the back for having started today. Don't count the days you've been back in the river. Knowing the number of days that you are in the river only reminds you that you were off-program and makes you feel that you had failed. To be successful, we must focus on our successes—not our failures.

Sometimes we make mistakes in life. Instead of seeing this as a failure, see this as part of your journey. While your side-trip may or may not have been planned, you probably learned a few things along the way. You may even have more clarity as to why you need to choose to stay in the river. Don't let that clarity hold you hostage and prevent you from reaching your goal. Let go. Accept the lesson you learned, get back on program, and don't look back.

Get back to the basics: eating clean and exercise.

This may mean dropping what you're doing right now (or once you finish reading this post) to go to the grocery store. Planning ahead is critical to your success. Focus on proteins like steak, fish, chicken, and eggs. Make big meals and freeze some so you don't have to cook every night.

The weather is no longer an excuse to stay indoors, so get outside and exercise. If you have physical limitations, find something that you can manage and start moving at whatever level you're at. If you can get a friend to join you - even better. If not, grab your cell phone and call someone who is willing to talk as you walk. If you are just starting to exercise again, do as much as you can and be kind to yourself. Don't beat yourself up for what you no longer can do. Give yourself encouragement for what you are doing now.  Once again: success is contingent on planning ahead. Make a consistent plan to fit exercise into your life and stay the course.

Remember this isn't a race. You didn't gain your weight in a few months and for most it will take many months or even a few years to reach your goal size.

Don't compare your weight loss to that of others, as there are many variables as to why one person takes a year to lose weight and another takes a few years to lose the same amount. Do your best every day and you will reach your goal.

Celebrate your non-scale victories along the way. They come in many forms. A recent victory for me was choosing not to eat something "because I could get away with it." A few weeks ago I was at the register at Barnes and Noble at 7:30 pm and I hadn't had dinner yet. As the cashier rang up my books, it seemed as if all the little gold-foil wrapped candies were calling out to me. I pushed away the urge.

It used to be so easy to just grab a bar of some kind to "hold me over," but I never bought just one. I'd buy ate least two bars, eat them on my way home, and then convince myself to stop at a store for a pint of ice cream for dinner.

Those little bars never held me over, they held me hostage on an endless journey of never having enough sugar and always wanting more.

Eating those foods is what I used to do, but it's not what I choose to do today. Today I choose healthy over easy.

You have a choice too. You can choose to keep doing what you're doing or you can choose to change. You can make that change right here and now or you can wait another five, ten, fifteen, or twenty years.

This what choice is all about—you get to choose when to stop being a hostage to food.

How about choosing to stop right now?

June 06, 2015

I recently wrote about Non-Scale Victories and since then I've heard more incredible non-scale victory stories, but this story from Alaina is my favorite non-scale victory ever. I met Alaina at the beginning of her weight loss journey and seeing her transformation has been amazing. Lean in as Alaina reflects back on her vacation pre-Julie while on vacation a weeks ago.

Alaina in 2013 vs May 29, 2015

We've been coming to Ogunquit, ME for vacation almost every year since like 2004. Our last visit was in 2013, pre-Julie. I was out of breath and hot just walking from the parking lot to the water's edge

My vacation consisted of napping, reading, snacking, and dining out.

2006 at my wedding on the beach in Ogunquit

Life is different now.

May 2015 at my daughter's wedding

Yesterday we walked the Marginal Way, up and back, and then partway through town. I still had energy to go out in the evening. Before Julie, I'd be in bed by 8 pm.

Today we hiked the Rachel Carson Wildlife Sanctuary in the morning, drove to Portland, had lunch there, and then hiked the trail around Mackworth Island. I still have energy left for dinner out and then the piano bar tonight.

I can finally LIVE my life instead of being a spectator.

Today, if Alaina's out of breath, it's probably because she's just finished two back-to-back Zuma classes. Last year I did a 5k walk/run event with Alaina and a few other key friends and I joined her in Zumba. Her energy level if off the charts!

Congratulations Alaina and thank you for sharing your story with us.

June 04, 2015