Showing posts with label little mean girl. Show all posts
Showing posts with label little mean girl. Show all posts
It's easy to believe that because we didn't succeed once or twice, we will always fail. Albert Einstein once said “I think and think for months and years. Ninety-nine times, the conclusion is false. The hundredth time I am right.” It is this kind of optimism we need embrace to be successful on our weight loss journey. Don't think about how many times you failed before. You didn't fail all those other times--you just didn't finish! Finish what you started today-don't wait for tomorrow to begin your weight loss journey.

I created this comic strip of myself using Pixton Comics
Click on image for larger view
In mid-January I joined a handful of key-friends in a 30-day squat challenge. My kitty Ginger loves it when I do squats, because I rub her belly each time I squat. I was disappointed, as I'm sure Ginger was, that my two earlier attempts at squat challenges were unsuccessful.

This time, I was determined to finish my 30-day challenge. After finishing day one, I proudly placed a black check mark on my chart and then wrote about my progress, something I did every day of my challenge. All four days.
This morning I saw my unfinished squat post and I realized I was feeling like a failure every time I saw that blog piece, as it reminded me of something I started and didn't finish. I realized my little mean girl was acting out and suddenly I had a perfect topic for today: finish what you start.

I am not a failure because I didn't finish those squats! I simply didn't finish what I started. The key is to start something you really want to finish. I asked myself: how important it for me to do those squats? Right now, it's just not that important. I hushed my little mean and I broke free from the cycle of failure!

It's important to finish what we start, because we feel great when we do and we feel lousy when we don't. When we don't finish what we started, we feel like a failure. We feel embarrassed. Why do we feel embarrassed? Because we often ANNOUNCE to everyone that we're going on a diet or exercise program. Later we feel embarrassed and shameful because we didn't finish what we started.

Does any of this sound familiar to you? How many times have you announced to friends and family you're going to start a diet or exercise program and in a short amount of time went off your program? You no longer talked about it. You silently hoped none one would ask "how's your program coming along?" You felt full of shame. You felt like a failure. You may even have completely shut down and stopped feel anything. Months or years may have passed before you dared announced you were starting another diet or exercise plan. How many times have you repeated this cycle of feeling like a failure? Isn't it time you break out of the cycle and finish what you started?

I have attended a number of personal growth workshops and I didn't announce them everyone, because those workshops were way out there. After four years on this program, I'm still at a loss of words to describe how or why this works. This program may be out there, but it works.

The day I began my weight loss journey, I felt a shift inside me that I couldn't put to words. Three years ago, I began this blog because when I'm at a loss for words, I write to process what I'm going through. I didn't talk to friends and family about this program, but every day I let about 300 people listen in and join in my conversation about my weight loss journey.

But I digress. My point today is this: finish what you start. Start again and again and don't give up on your plan. Ask yourself if you really want it and every time you feel like going off your program, remember how much you want this. Free yourself from the cycle of failure.

Have you fallen off your diet or exercise plan? You did not fail - you haven't finished what you started.

Tell you inner critic, that voice I refer to as your little mean girl, to hush and get right back on your plan this moment. You've been in the cycle of failure enough times to know tomorrow never comes.
Have you ever given someone a compliment, say for example about the blouse they’re were wearing, and they immediately retorted with “This old thing? Look at the stain on it…” Moments earlier you thought it was a beautiful blouse and now all you can see is an old blouse with a stain. The blouse didn’t change—your perspective changed. When you look in the mirror or see photos of yourself, do you see the incredible transformation you’ve gone through or do you only see flaws? If the later is the case, it’s time to change your perspective. It’s time to see the new you.
Have I forgotten I used to be a size 30/32?
It’s time for me to change my perspective too. I had a fabulous dinner with a wonderful key friends last week and the next day I realized I had been harsh about how I looked in photos.

Before dinner, I took selfies with two friends and then I leaned over to share the photos. That’s when my little mean girl (my internal self critic) first came out.

“I don’t like this photo.” I told Karen.

The next morning I started thinking about my little mean girl and I started writing…

Have I forgotten what my life was like three years ago when I was a size 30/32? Why would I ask others to look at my flaws? Do I really want validation that I’m flawed?

And who invited my mean little girl to dinner?

That’s when I realized—it was me—I invited my little mean girl. I’m the one who started the negative conversation. It’s moments like this that I remember why I took so many photos of myself along my weight loss journey and why I encourage you to do the same. It’s moments like this that we can look back and see how much we have changed. Look back and be in awe of who we are today.

I searched my computer for a photo of me when I was bigger to put next to the one I told Karen I didn’t like. Looking at these photos side-by-side (the photo above), I reflected that there have been many times during my weight loss journey that I looked at photos of my larger self and thought, “I don’t know that woman.” I’ve also looked at current photos of me and thought, “I don’t know that woman.”

At what point do we let go of the larger self that we once were and embrace the self we are right now?

This exact moment is as good as any.

Choose to change your perspective: to live in the present moment.

Stop looking back—see the wonder of who you are today.

You are far more than a number on a scale or the size of your clothes.

It doesn’t matter if you’re just beginning your weight loss journey, still losing weight, or at you goal: stop being mean this moment.

Negative self-talk goes beyond ourselves—it projects onto others what we see in ourselves and encourages them to judge us as well.

What are we asking of others when we speak this way of ourselves? Are we asking them to join in being mean to us?

Join me in embracing who you are today, in focusing on how great you feel right now, and in silencing your little mean girl.

There is more to this group selfie than just me. When I step back and look beyond myself in the photo, I see that there aren't any mean little girls here, only a group of vibrant women having fun.
Key-friends enjoying a night out.
That group selfie was just one moment in time. There were eleven of us gathered for dinner and it was a lovely evening with a group of key friends who all have incredible stories of weight loss and transformation through the key program.
Nine key-friends and our waiter.
You can read the weight loss stories of these nine women (and many others) on this blog. It is my hope that in sharing our stories, you too can join us in your own transformation to a healthier body and mind.

Ask any one of us and we'll all tell you:
If I can do this—so can you! You have to want to want it. You can do this!