 |
| My progressive journey |
Meanwhile, I bought some new clothes, as all my clothes were too tight. I'm teaching creative writing again soon and I was running out of clothing options. Despite my disappointment in the sizes I bought and how I feel when I see myself in the mirror, I was fortunate to find great bargains for clothing that is beautiful and colorful. That said, I'm already envision selling these new clothes.
I'm working on letting go of the shame I feel for gaining weight. I accept that I can not change the past. I can only move forward from where I am today.
In the fall of 2015, a number of friends encouraged me to go on maintenance. I wanted to lose more weight. I had been on program for 4 years and I don't think we're meant to be in the river (on program) that long. We've supposed to do this once and be done with the weight loss phase.
In Dec. 2015 I went off on some sort of a rebellion and I went crazy eating sugar and carbs. I stayed on program for a few weeks and then I'd go off again. I began to tell myself I'd start again tomorrow. Tomorrow turned into a week. When I got back on program, I couldn't stay on for more than a few weeks. The next thing I knew, all my clothes were too tight, more than a year had passed, and I had lost all control over what I was eating.
This is not a path I want to choose again. Once and done has more meaning to me today than ever before. If we follow this program as we are taught, then we only need to do it once and we are done. The goal is to take our weight off and then go through maintenance to learn how to stay in our goal size clothing.
Last spring exercise disappeared from my daily planner. In June I began to have back pain and at the end of September I twisted my leg. Eating sugar and carbs was one of the worse things I could do at that point, but I couldn't stop.
In November I began working with a Chiropractor on my back. Last week I started seeing a physical therapist for my knee. My pain has reduced drastically, but I'll need to do these stretching exercises for the rest of my life.
I'm in the river and I'm SO done with these side trips.
I concede that daily stretching exercises and healthy eating is what I need to live my best life. I can't afford anymore side trips.
Happy New Year to all of you. I hope that 2017 is your healthiest year ever!
The Sugar Highway is also known as the Highway to Hell. It's great to see you blogging, writing and back in the river. Once and Done is great, but not all of us are on the same journey. Some of us have to take the side trips to learn whatever lessons are there for us. Thank you for always being so open and sharing your journey with us!
ReplyDeleteBarb
Thank you for sharing. I took that bite of sugar, thinking one won't hurt. Then I saw how quickly sugar and carbs grabbed me and became part of my life again. I feel the difference, I see the difference, and know which way I feel better.I keep saying I'll start tomorrow, but tomorrow doesn't come. The frustration can be overwhelming. I can't beast myself up for what I've done, but can support and encourage myself to start again. If one week at a time is to much, I will do one day at a time, if that is to much then I will break it down to one hour at a time. I am the hardest on myself , more than anyone else can be. Seeing that I am not the only one facing this journey, helps me be determined to succeed and be healthy. Your words help me and give me encouragement and support. I wish you the best in this new year, may 2017 be a healthy year for you.
ReplyDeleteLearning new lessons all the time.
ReplyDeleteAt my doctor's this week (yes, I see a lot of doctors. Hopefully THAT will stop), and he made the observation that as we get older, many people find that they don't necessarily need three meals a day, or three FULL meals a day. That rattled around in my brain a bit, and I realized we had all heard this before! "Eat when you are hungry, not when you are not." Tried a little experiment where I brought a small portable protein meal/snack to eat when I was truly hungry midday, and then see how long it would be before I was looking for dinner. Turns out, that was enough to get me to dinner. Because I have to limit my sodium, I cannot take Slim Jim's, or anything like that, and a glass of milk is not always available, so I have discovered the foil pouches of drained tuna. Perfectly portable, no refrigeration, and keeps me going. A revelation!
Also, have begun to examine the whole concept of "treat." We use the word in so many ways! We treat illness. We treat ourselves to something enjoyable. We give ourselves a food treat. Come to realize I was avoiding the other forms of "treat" and thinking only in terms of what I could eat as a treat. I rejected a nice hot bath as "too time consuming," "too wasteful," but would grab a food treat without question. I "treat" my illnesses, but undo that with my food treats. I don't treat myself well when I am giving myself food treats...
Does that make sense?
Theresa, we have not heard from you in so long. I am worried about you, and hoping you are doing well. Your accounts of pain and injury are worrisome, and I am praying that this is not continuing to be a problem for you. Please know that those of us who follow your blog care about you and support you, and are here for you. This journey does not have a straight path for everyone, (or possibly for anyone!) and wherever you are you will find people standing with you and helping you. Your physical health is paramount, and I know I am not alone in hoping that you are managing your pain and feeling well. Weight is such a small component of this. Nutrition and handling inflammation are also so important. Please let us know how you are doing, and how we can help you! You have been here for us for so long... !!!!!
ReplyDeleteWhere is Theresa?
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your concern Momomig and Anonymous. I've been meaning to do an update here. I'm write a post this morning with an update.
ReplyDelete