Friend of Julie: New Perspective

Have you ever given someone a compliment, say for example about the blouse they’re were wearing, and they immediately retorted with “This old thing? Look at the stain on it…” Moments earlier you thought it was a beautiful blouse and now all you can see is an old blouse with a stain. The blouse didn’t change—your perspective changed. When you look in the mirror or see photos of yourself, do you see the incredible transformation you’ve gone through or do you only see flaws? If the later is the case, it’s time to change your perspective. It’s time to see the new you.

Have I forgotten I used to be a size 30/32?

It’s time for me to change my perspective too. I had a fabulous dinner with a wonderful key friends last week and the next day I realized I had been harsh about how I looked in photos.

Before dinner, I took selfies with two friends and then I leaned over to share the photos. That’s when my little mean girl (my internal self critic) first came out.

“I don’t like this photo.” I told Karen.

The next morning I started thinking about my little mean girl and I started writing…

Have I forgotten what my life was like three years ago when I was a size 30/32? Why would I ask others to look at my flaws? Do I really want validation that I’m flawed?

And who invited my mean little girl to dinner?

That’s when I realized—it was me—I invited my little mean girl. I’m the one who started the negative conversation. It’s moments like this that I remember why I took so many photos of myself along my weight loss journey and why I encourage you to do the same. It’s moments like this that we can look back and see how much we have changed. Look back and be in awe of who we are today.

I searched my computer for a photo of me when I was bigger to put next to the one I told Karen I didn’t like. Looking at these photos side-by-side (the photo above), I reflected that there have been many times during my weight loss journey that I looked at photos of my larger self and thought, “I don’t know that woman.” I’ve also looked at current photos of me and thought, “I don’t know that woman.”

At what point do we let go of the larger self that we once were and embrace the self we are right now?

This exact moment is as good as any.

Choose to change your perspective: to live in the present moment.

Stop looking back—see the wonder of who you are today.

You are far more than a number on a scale or the size of your clothes.

It doesn’t matter if you’re just beginning your weight loss journey, still losing weight, or at you goal: stop being mean this moment.

Negative self-talk goes beyond ourselves—it projects onto others what we see in ourselves and encourages them to judge us as well.

What are we asking of others when we speak this way of ourselves? Are we asking them to join in being mean to us?

Join me in embracing who you are today, in focusing on how great you feel right now, and in silencing your little mean girl.

There is more to this group selfie than just me. When I step back and look beyond myself in the photo, I see that there aren't any mean little girls here, only a group of vibrant women having fun.

Key-friends enjoying a night out.

That group selfie was just one moment in time. There were eleven of us gathered for dinner and it was a lovely evening with a group of key friends who all have incredible stories of weight loss and transformation through the key program.

Nine key-friends and our waiter.

You can read the weight loss stories of these nine women (and many others) on this blog. It is my hope that in sharing our stories, you too can join us in your own transformation to a healthier body and mind.

Ask any one of us and we'll all tell you:

If I can do this—so can you! You have to want to want it. You can do this!