Friend of Julie: Umbrellas and Chairs

There are many aspects of being obese that I didn't think about in my daily life, but once in a while circumstances would make me aware of my obesity.

At age 37, when I decided to go to college full-time I pushed all obstacles out of my way to make that happen. I did not anticipate that I would not fit into the desk-style chairs, which was the case my first day of class. I stood in the back of the room with with  flushed cheeks and I held back tears; I didn't know what to do. Within a few minutes, there more students in the room than chairs. The professor sent us to the next room for chairs and I quickly grabbed a larger chair for myself. After that class, I arrived early to all of my classes and made sure I would have a seat that fit.

It's humiliating to realize you're too big to fit into a chair. I feel embarrassed and when others realize the situation, they don't know what either.

I never told my friends this, but over the years I preferred one movie theater over the others, because the seats were bigger and there was more leg room. One of my favorite movie theaters (Pleasant Street Theater in Northampton), has seats that look like they came out of an old airplane. I stopped going there because the seats were so uncomfortable. I returned there a few months ago and there still isn't much leg room, but the seats fit!

This afternoon I went to a movie at Amherst Cinemas. When I arrived there was only one guy behind the counter to sell tickets and work the concession area. Both lines were long and he cleared the other line before he sold the tickets. When I walked into my movie, previews were just finishing up and as I looked for a seat, the theater darkened and credits for the movie I was there to see were just starting.

I walked to the top of the stairs in the dark and turned toward the screen, waiting for the light of the screen to return so I could see where seats were open. I scanned the rows and didn't see any empty seats. Slowly, I walked down the steps looking in each row. I spotted one open seat at the end of the row farthest from me and against the wall. Not for me, I thought. I saw two open seats in the first row from the screen and took a few steps down and then I paused. There was no way I was going to sit in the first row.

I'll go back and ask for a ticket to another show, I thought. I was disappointed that I was not going to see the movie I had planned my entire day around. I rushed down three more steps and thenlooked up at the exit sign.

No! I can do this, I told myself.

I spun around and ran back up to a row with an open seat.

Moments earlier, I had discarded this open seat as an option.

"Excuse me," I said. Two people moved into the isle and the rest moved their feet or stood up to let me go by. I squeezed past everyone and then sat into my chair, which fit quite nicely.

I never would have done this a few months ago. I would not have attempted to squeeze by people in a movie theater. It would have been too humiliating and I would feel bad for each person I passed, putting my big body in their way of seeing any part of the movie. No, I would most certainly have asked for my money back or to see another movie.

Weigh loss is about much more than a number on a scale. It's about fitting into a seat at the movies, on an airplane, or in a classroom. It's about many little things that happen in our lives that easily go unnoticed. Today I noticed.

Umbrellas - oh yes...I wanted to write my story about umbrellas. I once said to a friend "I never go into Victoria Secret because the only thing that fits me in that store is their umbrellas." In the year ahead, I will still have the option to buy a Victoria Secret umbrella and a whole lot more.

Oh, and the movie I saw today was called "The Way" and I highly recommend it!