This morning I was thinking about how my doctor had given up on my losing weight about a year and a half ago. In fact, she told me I would soon become a diabetic. I told her that would not happen to me. I didn’t have a plan, but I was not accepting that as my fate. Diabetes runs in my family and since I’m obese, I test ever year. The test results at that time showed me at 98; 100 is considered pre-diabetic.

When I walked into her office six months ago, she was very pleased with my weight loss. She suggested I see her for a full physical this Jan. and indicated I no longer need to be tested for diabetes.

My plan for the doctor appointment next Tuesday was to ask her my weight. Julie said we can weigh ourselves once a year, but I’m not sure if this is something we do after we reach our goal weight or if it applies to all of us. I’ve debated for a few weeks now if I should I ask my exact weight or not.

I went to the doctor yesterday, a few days earlier than my scheduled appointment, because I’ve been home all week with a wicked cold. She said I look great and that I’m doing everything I should be doing for my cold: lots of fluids and taking contact flu/cold tablets. She also said I was taking the later too often and suggested cough drops or cough syrup. I was hesitant because of the sugar factor. I didn’t like the idea of chewing on candies, so I went for the prescription cough syrup with sugar; sugar is better than sugar substitute.

I am dying to know my number on the scale, but I'm still struggling with feeling like I’ve gained weight. The last thing I need right now is to know a number on the scale is less than I want it to be. Instead, I asked if I’ve dropped 50 pounds yet – her answer was yes.

I’m fighting with myself not to get on the scale now that I’m home. To stay off the scale, I remind myself that not knowing the numbers is a part of my journey. I remember all those times when I knew the numbers and how devastated I was when they were higher instead of lower. What I used to do did not work for me, so why would I want to do something I know does not work?

I'm looking at this journey in a new way. It isn't about having patience, how much I weigh, or how much I’ve lost. It's about staying connected to the part of me that knows this is a life-long journey. I am living my life different than I used to. This story is not one that has a beginning, middle, and an end – it is a story about a lifetime of choices. It’s a story about living today. Living the best life I can today. Living in the present means looking back at lessons learned and focusing on the present. After all—all we really have is today.

Theresa, sounds like you really did good on vacation. Just think of the damage you could have done, but, really, all in all, sounds like you did so much better than years past would have done! Keep up/off the good work!! How long did it take you to get an appointment with Julie for a tweaking session? I want to go for one, but if she only does them at night, I will have to wait until it is lighter later at night. I can not see in the dark and I have to travel almost 1 hour to get there.

I know what you mean about the comments about weight loss. I thrive on those comments. I know I am on a plateau right now as I feel like nothing is happening and I don't like the feeling one bit. My mind starts to play around like I am doing it wrong, I should eat less, I should/maybe I can't, blah blah blah. My friend started 1 week after me, she didn't go to Julie, she is just doing it on her own from what I told her. She is averaging 2 pounds a week loss. She is melting. I want to melt! But it isn't a competition or a race, and I have to get out of that mindset. Like you said, as long as I am doing what she said, the weight will come off. But oh yes, I LOVE those compliments. Luanne gave me her skirts that are to big for her now and I was excited to get them home, but alas, they didn't fit and that was a disappointment to me. I am in a 20, but it appears to be I can't get into all styles of size 20's. GRRRR! Then she threw some 18's in there, well, those made it on but no way to zip. I need to be thankful that I could get them on even if I couldn't zip. 6 months ago I wouldn't have been able to get my legs into them, so if I really think about it, yes there is progress. I have been on Julie's program for 10 weeks, I need patience, patience and more patience. Not one of my greatest virtues unfortunately!

Thank you for starting this blog. It does help me a lot to be able to touch base with someone who is also on this path. I am hoping more people start writing on here too!

Have a good day.
Linda
Inspiration is an important part of my weight loss journey. It feels good when someone says I inspire them, but I too like to be inspired.

I'm inspired when I'm in a session with Julie and I hear stories of success and failure. It's easy to understand why success inspires me--when one thin person after another talks about having maintained their weight for several years and that they are here again because their size 6 or smaller pants are tight - who wouldn't be inspired? Part of going to her again is to hear such inspiration. So how am I inspired by failures?

I'm inspired by failures because they are also success stories. They indicate lost their mojo and they feel they can't get it back on their own, but they have come back because their pants are too tight. They've learned how to maintain, but as soon as they realize they're beyond maintaining--they returned for more help. This is inspiring, because some day I will too will be learning to maintain my weight. I'm inspired by the fact that so many are able to maintain without having to return and that returning for help is also an option.

I'm also inspired by those in the room who came back because they gained a size or two and want to take it off again, and by others who are there because they have maintained their weight for a while and have decided they want to lose more weight. 

Inspiration comes to me in many forms. I'm inspired by various types of art, be it a collection of work by a street artist or original by Georgia O'Keeffe. Art stirs my creative juices.

Movies inspire me as well. I'm inspired by other people's stories. I believe everyone has at least one inspirational story. I'm inspired by the show the Biggest Loser. I see how hard they work in the gym and how they confront themselves along the way. I'm inspired by the number of them who lose the weight and keep it off. I'm also inspired that I have a found a way less painful journey to lose my weight.

I also like to read inspirational and motivational books, articles, and blogs, and stories about people who were successful in loosing weight and keeping it off. Recently Aime sent me a link to Ben Does Life, written by a guy, who lost 120 pounds and went from being a depressed recluse to a motivational speaker. When asked "what is your advice for someone starting a weight loss journey" Ben replied:
"I have a few things! Be public with your journey. You don’t have to post everything on Facebook, or start a blog, but tell some people that can be there for you. You have to have a support system. Secondly, make goals, but make them small and measurable. And be sure to make non-scale goals such as running a race, completing a certain number of weeks of yoga, or going restaurant-free for X amount of days. Make it fun and cross them off as you go. Lastly, find something that you can have fun with. Running isn’t for everyone. You want to surround yourself with an environment that you can look forward to. Don’t be a slave to the elliptical rider or treadmill. Find an ongoing activity that can become a hobby."

Your turn - What inspires you?

I spent the week after Christmas in Washington, DC with two long-time friends, Mary and Michele, and we had a blast.
Self-portrait in front of the capitol.
Food was a struggle. I haven't struggled with food all year, but that changed when the holidays hit and I was around food that I don't bring into my house.

In DC, I felt tempted many times, as I was in Florida, but this time it was restaurants that challenged me. I had a slice of bread with a steak and salad two different nights and another night I had Ethiopian food and I ate some of the bread with that meaty meal too. I also ate too much cheese, but overall, I did well and I'm happy to report I did not give in to sugar, though there were some tempting moments.

My biggest struggle was when I was on my own. We decided to spend our last day in DC each going in our own directions. About 3 pm, I was walking by myself, my feet were tired, and I was hungry. As I walked down 14th street, I heard my name from the bakery.  Then gelato called my name. A handful of other places lured me with incredible aromas, but I did not give in. I know when I feel tired and hungry, which doesn't happen often, my best bet is to find a place that serves incredible meat. I waited until I saw a place with a menu that would fill my needs - especially in the beef category.  Ruby Tuesday did just that. I had a half-rack of ribs, with a side of spaghetti squash, and grilled green beans. Just what I needed.

My body issues came as a surprise. I also didn't realize how much I relied on comments about my weight from others. Neither Mary nor Michelle commented on my "new" size. I felt fat for the first time in a long time. In fact, I felt like I had gained weight. I need to get over myself.

Looking back, I see my body issues started on Christmas Eve when I bought new pants. While shopping, I was bummed that I needed to buy size 22 at the Avenue; I was hoping to be size 20.  I should be joyful that I'm a size 22, since I started at a 32, rather than being disappointed I'm not a 20.

I'd held off spending money on new clothes for the past six months, and the time had come to get rid of pants that are too big and buy pants that fit right. All my pants were one-to-two sizes too big, and some even three sizes too big. While my new pants fit well, one pair is tight in the waist and when I wore it with a new sweater a size too small, I felt fat. After wearing the sweater a few times, I realized I needed to stop wearing it. I need to either return it for a size bigger or wait until it fits right.

Why did I buy a sweater a size too small? Because it's a beautiful green that is always hard to find and was the only one that color left--and for the sale price of $4 - who could say no?  I did my best to keep reminding myself that I feel fat because I'm used to clothes that are too big and tried to stay out of the negative body thoughts.

Moving along to today, I am focusing on getting over this wicked cold and continuing with my strong commitment to this program. I know I am in a plateau and that my best way out is to  keep going. Once I'm able to get to the store, I'll buy some cooked meatloaf and continue eating meat, meat, meat.

Meanwhile, I've been eating meatballs for the past two days, which I froze before I left. Last night I pulled chicken from the freezer, which I also cooked and froze before I left. I haven't had the energy to cook the butternut squash that is in the refrigerator, perhaps I will later today, but I've enjoyed celery sticks with my meals. I had a can of tuna with mayo last night for dinner. Having these ready-to-eat meals has helped me get right back on track at home. This is especially helpful being sick.

I have an appointment to see Julie next week and I'm so excited that I have been on this program for one full year. I'll blog before and after photos and reflections near the end of the month.

I'm happy to say - this is one year that I do not need to resolve to go on a diet!

One more thing before I close - I did exercise every day. My friends needed to rent scooters, so I jogged/walked and kept up with them for an hour each morning as we headed to the national malls to see museums, then repeated this on the way home. This did a number on my toes by the end of the week, but I can see now that I am ready to jog every day rather than every other day. I will kick it up a notch on the treadmill and strive to jog 5-6 days a week, once I am over this cold. I'll assess the duration as well, and I'll clear the clutter around my treadmill in the basement so I don't have to do this at the gym at work. I will plan to jog with my friend Aime, but I want my home treadmill ready for me to hop on when I get home if I didn't workout at work.

Happy new year everyone! I hope to hear from you more often and that you invite your friends to join us as well.

Theresa
Theresa, so glad to hear from you! Hope you feel better soon!!

I am having fun with food right now. I found out we can have imitation crab so I am quite happy about that. For me I am really trying hard to not eat to much high cholesterol types of foods and imi crab is a good substitute for me.

I found another woman who has been on Julie's program since June and she has gone from a size 20 to a size 6/8. I have been messaging her on face book. It really helps to be in contact with people who are living like this also! VERY encouraging to me!!

Chopped ham and pickle with some mayo and pickle juice has been a great standby for me. Deviled eggs a great snack or even a meal. I find I am not having really meals anymore, when I am hungry I eat, and it usually doesn't take to much to fill me anymore. Though I think I may be at a plateau right now. I do not feel like I am loosing weight at this moment. I don't like this feeling. I hope this passes soon. Theresa have you hit those plateaus? How long do they last on average?
While in DC, I didn't have much time to write. Now that I'm home, I'm sick with a wicked cold and I've been in bed the past two days.

I will blog once I am better. Meanwhile, I would love to hear from you folks.

Congrats Linda on your great success! Sorry I wasn't able to write to you before you left, but it sounds like you were able to find foods to travel with.

Theresa
Where is everyone???
Back home from Amish country Ohio and am thrilled with how I did on vacation and the holidays! For once I do not have to repair damage done with trying to stick to a weight loss program or a total binge for the holidays!

Does anyone else feel this free? It is amazing to me. I also discovered wasabi peas. They are dried green peas with wasabi on them. VERY hot but crunchy. No way you can over eat with them. I had them in the car with some beef jerky and was quite happy! <We are not allowed dried foods on this program. Wasabi peas are not on program. I learned this the hard way. - Theresa>

Now that the new year is here, and by the way, Happy New Year everyone, it's time to start getting in some exercise. I have Richard Simmons tapes, so I will be dragging them out of their hibernation and starting Tuesday I will do them. Yes, I have to start Tuesday when life gets back into its normal routine.

Don't laugh, I LOVE Richard, and believe it or not, he is a friend of mine. He has been very supportive but very frustrated with me and my weight loss efforts. Have not told him about this program because I don't want him to think it is another crazy thing I am doing. Cant wait to hit him with some pictures as I really get going with this. I have gone from a size 22/24 to a size 20 at this point after 9 weeks. Is this possible?

How are you all doing? I am hoping people really start posting on here, as I need the support of others doing this and hopefully ideas and recipes as Theresa has put in her blog description. IS ANYONE OUT THERE. Where are all of you!!

Have a good day!!

Hope to read some posts soon,
Linda