You may want to lean in for some sage advice that helped these Key friends reach and maintain their goal size. The focus of this discussion is "Can I eat anything I want after maintenance?" The answer is the same if you're on maintenance or if you're in the weight loss phase of the program: eat when you're hungry - don't eat when you're not.

Both Chris and Jennifer on are on maintenance.

Chris

Can I eat "anything I want after maintenance?" I thought about this concept a few days ago. I realized that through the years I had lost the ability to eat correctly. As a baby, I only ate when I was hungry and I stopped when I was full. And I was full of determination when they tried to make me eat anything I didn't like. Growing up I always thought my mom was being mean when she wouldn't let us have snacks or soda all the time; she really was just being a good mom. For all my adult years I made up for that, eating what and when I wanted; using food mostly to stuff my feelings rather than nourish my body. The end result being a serious weight problem.

I see this program as a second chance to get back to that "baby" stage: eating when I'm truly hungry and stopping when I've had enough. Going back to using food as a "need," not a "want." Being a food addict, this was not an easy task. Throughout the years I really did try my hardest on each diet I set out on. The only success I've had is through Julie's program.

While there are many important aspects to this program, for me, eating when I'm hungry and not when I'm not, is the most important. When I can do this on a daily basis, I know I'm using food as it was intended. Then and only then, can I enjoy the occasional "want" food. I will never not be a food addict as food is my drug of choice. 

Chris before Key vs Summer 2013

Eva

Eating when I am hungry and not when I'm not is the most elusive and difficult part of this for me, because I think I really never learned to be connected enough to the internal sensation of my body, rather than what others thought it should look like. So that is the huge learning task, coming very late in life for me.

There have been some long periods while on this program where I ate only when I was truly hungry and I wasn't interested in food the rest of the time. But for the past six months or so, I have been eating much more than I should be as the result of any true physical hunger and it makes me unhappy.

But that truly is the most important part of it for me and I'm very grateful to receive this reminder from Chris, that I need to commit myself more deeply to that exploration, to my meditation practice which puts me in touch with my body and helps me to quiet enough in order to hear what it is saying to me.

Because I don't eat foods off the program I don't gain weight, or if I do it is very slight and then I take it off, and I'm not jerking my blood sugar around, so I feel much better than I used to, but I just don't want to end up feeling like I'm being hijacked by food, and that it is occupying so much of my consciousness.

Mediation is important for me, because if I'm not taking care of the level of arousal in my mind and body, then the thoughts and emotions get too loud and drown out the more subtle signals my body is trying to send me.

Jennifer 

I answered this question a long time ago when a key friend sought me out for advice. We spent time going back and forth discussing things. I was farther ahead on my journey than she was and at one point she asked me "will I ever eat 'normal' again?" My answer to that question turned into a blog post (Will I ever Eat Like a "Thin Person")...almost a year ago...and my answer still is the same...

I've come too far to let food take over again. I would rather say "no" to something and stand tall then to put my poor body through more shame, grief, frustration, sadness, suffering..all adjectives that I no longer want to put myself through. My life of eating whatever whenever is over. I eat like a "sane" person now - or this is my interpretation of a "sane" person and how they eat - those that have kept their weight in check and have never had a problem with cravings or food talking to them.

Am I perfect in my thoughts every day? Am I nice to my soul every day? No. Have I excluded negative talk more and more? Most certainly. I have many many days where I no longer think about eating, or what I am going to eat. I pack healthy meals for work, I don't give in to any of the shit there, most everyone in my life has stopped saying "Oh just this once, just have a piece.....it won't hurt you." My family has long ago figured out that I am still here, not starving myself, not doing some crazy fad diet (again), but really really working on being healthy.

I know my trigger foods, I will continue to work around them. I don't want them. I want to not want them. They aren't worth it. I enjoy what I can have. I honor my body and I love feeling "crave-free." This was a gift given to me by Julie. I walked into her place knowing I would forever be changed. I like who I changed into! I don't ever want to take advantage of this place that I am in, or what she did for me, or what I am doing for myself now.

"Can I eat anything I want after maintenance??"

No.

And I will forever be grateful to being able to answer that question that way.

Jennifer 2010 vs 2014

September 09, 2014

Two summers ago I met four women who were following Julie's Key Hypnosis weight loss program. It's been incredible witnessing the transformation of these key friends. Join me as I take a stroll down memory lane and then look at the five of us today.

July 2012: Theresa, Jennifer, Linda, Jill, Sandy

When we first met, we were in different stages on our weight loss path. I was a year and a half into my journey, Jennifer and Linda were about one year in, Sandy was three months into her journey, and Jill had just finished her third session. Regardless of where we were on our path, we were all equally excited to connect with one another, to share our key weight loss stories, and to encourage and support one another in reaching our goal sizes.

I'm proud of each of these women. They stayed the course, lost a ton of weight, and changed their lives. It has been an honor for me to travel on this weight loss journey and to transform along with them. We have changed a lot of things in our lives. We've changed the way we interact with food: we eat to live instead of living to eat. We've divorced sugar and all it's relatives. Some of us have even broken up with cheese. We're engaged in physical activities that we didn't dream possible two or three years ago. Simple activities like walking and hiking. Some of us discovered we enjoy jogging, swimming, and kayaking.

Here's where we are today...

August 2014
Theresa started at size 30/32 and is currently size 12-16.

September 2014
Jennifer started at size 18/20 and is maintaining her goal size 6.

September 2014
Linda started at size 26/28 and currently size 12.

January 2014
Jill started at 18/20 and is maintaining her goal size 6.

August 2014
Sandy started at size 18 and is maintaining her goal size 6.

September 08, 2014

Potato Salad? Yes - this mock potato salad was served at a gathering with a small group of key friends last night and it was outstanding. It's made just like any basic potato salad, but with cauliflower instead of potato. All the food served at this potluck was incredible, but if I had to choose only one food item from last that I could have again today, with meat of course, this potato salad is what I'd choose.

Mock Potato Salad. Photo by Theresa

About eight of us gathered for this potluck and I wish I had taken photos of the table full of food before we dove it, but you know how it is when you're hungry - you just dive in. And, with all the food being key-friendly, who could pause for a photo?

March 24, 2015 update: I finally made this potato salad! It was easy, delicious, and this time around I took a photo. Next time I make this, I'll cut it in half, as it was a whole lot of potato salad for a person living alone.

Salad Ingredients

• 2 16 oz. bags of frozen cauliflower
• 1 cup chopped red onion
• 1 cup chopped celery 
• 1/2 cup chopped red pepper 
• 1/2 cup chopped green pepper 
• 4 chopped green onion stalks 
• 4 chopped baby dill pickles 
• 4 hard-boiled eggs peeled and chopped 

Dressing Ingredients
Note: you will make the dressing and add it to the salad last

• 2 cups mayo
• 2 Tbsp. white vinegar 
• 2 Tbsp. mustard 
• 2 tsp. salt
• 1 tsp. pepper

Instructions

1. Cook and prepare cauliflower according to directions on the bag.
2. Chop cauliflower into bite size pieces and place in bowl. 
3. Add all ingredients except the dressing to the bowl. 
4. Mix dressing together and then add it to the salad. 
5. Add paprika before serving if desired.

We like to goof around at our gathering.

Here's a better shot!

Taking group photos.

September 02, 2014

Do you remember the metaphor Julie uses about the dog and the broom? Last week I had an experience that helped me understand what Julie's analogy means, only my experience was with my cat Ginger instead of a dog. For those who don't remember the dog and the broom story, I'll refresh your memory.

The Kitty and the Broom. Photo by Theresa

The Dog and the Broom

A man has a dog and the dog does whatever the man commands him to do, because if the dog doesn’t obey the man he is beaten with a broom. The dog often cowers and this makes the man angrier, so he beats the dog with the broom even more. The dog doesn’t trust the man, but the dog is chained and he cannot escape.

One day the dog sees an opportunity to escape and he takes it and runs away. After running as far and as fast as he can, the dog is found by a kind and loving man who adopts him. There’s an instant bond of love and respect between the dog and this new guy. The guy takes the dog on long walks twice a day and this makes the dog willing to do anything for the guy.

One day the guy knocks over a plant in his living room and he grabs a broom from a closet to clean up the dirt. The dog sees the broom and, full of fear and shame, he immediately cowers.

The broom in this story represents the scale. Our bodies react to the scale in the same way the dog responds to the broom: our body becomes full of fear and shame and no longer trusts us.

The Kitty and the Broom

Last week, I had my kitty Ginger on my shoulder and I quickly stepped into the kitchen to grab my phone. I should have known better, as she gets skittish if I carry her near the basement door. My instinct to hold her even tighter only made things worse. After getting badly scratched, I finally put her down.

It was in that moment that I understood the broom and the dog story in a way I had not before. I always suspected Ginger had a trauma before I took her home from an animal rescue. I'll never know what happened, but her body has never forgotten it, because she gets skittish if she feels vulnerable.

Ginger's body won't forget her pain, just as the dog won't forget his. Our bodies will not forget the pain we've inflicted all those years by overeating.

A big part of our weight loss journey is teaching our bodies to trust us again and that we will no longer harm it. This is where Julie comes in. Julie negotiates with our bodies to trust us. Each time we go off program, our body stops trusting us. Every time we follow the program rules, even if they don't make logical sense to us, our bodies learn we can be trusted.

Why is it so important that our bodies trust us? If our bodies don't trust us, it feels fear and it holds onto our weight. Trust is essential. Here's an example of something I did a few days earlier, which broke the trust with my body...

I overate. This was something I hadn't done for a long time. Everything I ate was on program, but one of our agreements with Julie is to stop eating when we're full. I ate an entire pot of beef chili. I was full after the first bowl, but I kept eating until the pot was empty. I had forgotten what it felt like to overeat. It felt horrible and my stomach still hurt three hours later. Getting to sleep that night with a belly ache was difficult.

The next morning I wondered what caused me to overeat like that. I didn't have any vodka, so it wasn't because I drank too much. Did I overeat because of stress? Did I let myself get too hungry? I still don't know the reason, but what I do know is that I have some work to do to prove to my body I can be trusted again.

What kind of "work" do I have to do? Eat clean. Follow the rules. Exercise.

You know what to do if this happens to you: stay the course. Forgive yourself and move on.

broom story negotiate with your body the dog and the broom the scale trust your body

September 01, 2014

Do ever have one of those days when you have a plan to walk or do some form of exercise, but you talk yourself out of it? In these kind of moments, we have a choice: to feel good or to feel lousy. What's to debate? Why would we chose the later? Push through your resistance and do it anyway. Choose to feel good!

Selfie in my car.

Yesterday was one of those kind of days for me. Yesterday I chose not to exercise and for the whole day I felt crummy. When I got up in the morning, I decided not to walk as I had planned to do at 6:30, but I promised myself I'd walk later in the morning. The next thing I knew, my morning was over. I promised myself that I would walk later in the afternoon.

At dinner time I told myself "Okay, for sure, I'll walk right after dinner."

I don't know what the weather was like for you last night, but where I live it was as if a tropical storm had blown in. The storm ended early enough for me to walk before dark, but I didn't. I went to bed feeling lousy.

This morning started off like yesterday. I had walking plans, but as soon as I got out of bed, I started looking for reasons to get out of walking. Weather? No, it's gorgeous outside, so this excuse wasn't going to work today. As I walked down the stairs for my morning coffee, my ankle hurt a little. Yes, here's a valid excuse not walk today. I'm off the hook another day.

Really? "Off the hook" Who are you and what did you do with Theresa who loves to walk? No, I was not off the hook, because yesterday I had set myself up for success when I made an appointment to drop my car at the shop: I told them I wouldn't need a ride, because I was going to walk home.

Early this morning I put on my sandals, instead of my sneakers, and drove to the car shop. At the shop, they asked me a few questions and then said they'd see me later. 

Oh. They think I'm going to walk home.

Oh. I can't ask for a ride now.

Just because I set myself up for success doesn't mean I didn't have some resistance to my plan. Resistance or not, I had to walk home. I just didn't have it in me to say I had changed my mind and ask for a ride.

Despite my lack of enthusiasm at the car shop, I enjoyed the two mile walk home. Despite the fact that I wore my sandals, my ankle didn't hurt at all. You see, I set myself up for success in that way too - I chose sandals that I can walk in for miles.

On some level, I really wanted to do this walk. I mean who doesn't want to choose feeling good over feeling lousy? I just had to get out of my own way and just do it.

When I walk back to the shop, I know I won't have any resistance, because each time I choose to walk, I feel great and I want to do it more. The same applies when I make excuses not to walk - I then find myself on a path that supports feeling lousy.

I choose to feel good. Next time I am resistant to sticking with my exercise goals, I'm going to push myself to do it anyway and to remember how good I always feel later. I'm using the same tactic I use to push away food cravings: pushing away thoughts of resistance that prevent me from exercising. Tap, tap, tap.

What about you? Do you have tactics that you use to support you choosing to exercise?

08/29/14 Update: Yesterday I really did do it - I walked 25,477 steps! I didn't plan to walk that much, but by the end of the day I put in 11.19 miles. And - I wasn't sore yesterday or this morning! This is what I love about my FitBit - I get badges when I reach milestones!

August 28, 2014

Once in a while perfection happens and when it does - for a brief moment - all is well in the universe. I had such a moment today while eating a warm hard-boiled egg. After taking a second bite of my egg, I realized I was holding the most perfect hard-boiled egg I've ever cooked. I've had moments like this on my key weight loss journey. I suspect you have too.

Perfection comes in mysterious ways, even in hard-boiled egg. Photo by Theresa

Yesterday was a perfect day. I didn't plan for a perfect day, but as my day unfolded, I accomplished the small goals I set out for myself and there was even room for spontaneity. Looking back, I contribute my "success" to keeping things simple. I stayed out of overwhelm, which is easy as long as I refrain from multitasking, and I stayed focused on my goals for the day. Oh, and I stayed on program: I ate clean and I exercised!

Perfection? Yes! Does this happen every day? No.

Two days ago I didn't meet my daily goal of  walking 10,000 steps. I had good intentions, but I didn't see them through, so I fell short. Perfection? No, but I am still moving toward my goal size because I continue to choose to exercise. I let go of my perfection expectations and I accept that some days I'm not going to meet my daily walking goal.

The spontaneous event that happened yesterday: I said yes to an opportunity to walk just ten minutes after getting home from walking with a key-friend. Consequently I walked over 17,000 steps yesterday. I wasn't making up for the day before, I walked extra steps because of a spontaneous invite and because it was fun.

Perfectionism is not in the equation when it comes to food. Life is imperfect, but I get to choose what foods I eat. When I choose to ignore the rules, such as cheese is a condiment or that there are limits with yogurt, I am making a choice to postpone reaching my goal size.

The key weight loss program is about lifestyle changes, it's not about perfection. When we fall short of our program goals, we have the choice to keep moving forward or not.

Let go of perfection. Let go of mistakes and stay the course. Live your best life by choosing to:

• stay on program
• exercise
• learn maintenance

August 26, 2014

A key friend asked this question today: which is harder: losing or maintaining? Hard is what I felt about going to college at age 37, but I did it anyway. In a cartoon class I took a few years ago, I looked around at how well others were drawing and I said to myself "this is really hard," but I did it anyway. In following this program, hard should not be a part of the equation.

Cartoon by Theresa

It may be hard to get back into the river, but if we don't get go off program this isn't an issue - so stay in the river! Take out the hard part of your equation and stay on program.  Besides, going on and off-program is not part of this program. Once and done as Julie says. Lose your weight once and be done.

When I hear myself saying how hard this program is - I know I'm in trouble. One of two things are going on when I'm thinking how hard this is: I'm in my head too much or I'm eating something off-program.

If I'm in my head too much, it means I'm not trusting my body enough. When I constantly think about what to do to stay on program, I stop and ask myself: am I eating something I shouldn't be?

About a year into this program, I discovered that sometimes I was over thinking this program and when I did this I often used the word hard. One day while talking with another key friend about how hard this is, I realized something wasn't right. This program wasn't hard before, so what's different now that it feels so hard? I decided to review what I was eating and sure enough I found I was eating something not on program. Something that I hadn't been eating before, but somehow thought I could eat. I immediately stopped eating that food and that took hard out the equation.

Just this week I discovered something that was hard for me: giving up yogurt. I'm taking it out of the equation. I loved my Siggi's, but I'm giving it up now that I understand:

Yogurt is to be eaten the same way as vegetables: always with a with big chunk of meat.

I've been eating yogurt immediately after my dinner and I can't imagine eating yogurt along with my meal, so I'm giving it up. I don't know why I didn't understand this concept sooner, but I'm telling my little mean girl to hush, what's done is done. I'm moving forward, as I can't change the past.

I'm also giving up yogurt because a part of me doesn't want to give it up. But the biggest reason I'm giving up yogurt:

If you feel you are losing slowly or on a plateau, you should not eat yogurt.

Tap, tap, tap. I'm pushing away the cravings to have this treat because my desire to reach my goal far outweighs my desire to treat myself to yogurt. Besides, yogurt isn't meant to be a treat.

Back to the question, which is harder: losing weight or maintenance, I say take the question out of the equation and find the source of what feels so hard. 

If you're obsessing or thinking about how hard weight loss or maintenance is, perhaps you need to stop and ask yourself: what's that really all about? Is it possible that what's really hard is pushing past your fears and trusting that your body knows what to do to lose weight and maintain your goal size?

Tap, tap, tap. I'm pushing away the fears of how hard maintenance might be, because on the other side of maintenance is where I want to be. Whatever I have to face to get there will be worth it.

I'm never going back to the size I was when I drew this cartoon!

Cartoon of myself when I was a size 30/32. Cartoon and photo by Theresa.

August 20, 2014

In today's post, PJ writes about the profound effect Julie's program had on how PJ sees and defines herself. Many of you reading her story will resonate with much of PJ's experience. Like many of us on this program, this time feels different for her. Her journey begins with gastric bypass surgery and ends at her goal size on maintenance with Julie's program.

2003 – Size 30/32                     2014 – Size 10

Shame Resilience

As a woman struggling with many emotional issues surrounding weight, I feel that my experience with the Key program and Julie has triggered a monumental shift in how I see myself. I have been interested in the subject of identity (who we believe we are, how we see ourselves) and the relationship between identity and feelings of shame since reading Brené Brown’s books, The Gifts of Imperfection and The Power of Vulnerability. As a doctoral student, I have written about and studied issues surrounding shame, especially in terms of developing shame resilience – how do we overcome views of ourselves which lead to feelings of shame, changing the old scripts which we play over and over when it comes to the many issues surrounding weight and eating.

After reading a post on Facebook regarding shameful feelings related to making poor choices, I wanted to share my experience and how I have come to understand my journey.

In terms of looking at issues surrounding eating, including what I eat and why, Julie had a most profound effect on me in relation to my beliefs about who I am – how I see myself and define myself. My struggle has been a long one, as most of you can relate to, but this time feels very different for me.

In 2003 I had gastric bypass surgery and went from a size 30/32 down to a 10 over the course of 18 months or so. It was a great time for me, but then bad habits crept back in and my weight started to increase after 5 years of success. I kept trying to get things under control, but nothing was working – juice fasts, high protein/low carb, intense exercise.

Finally, as I watched a friend succeed with Julie’s program, I decided to give it a try – it couldn’t be more drastic than surgery! By the summer of 2013 I had rebounded to a size 16 and was extremely fearful of not being able to stop, ending up even heavier than I was in 2003.

I am not sure exactly what happened through the hypnosis portion, but I feel like a different person with a better understanding of how my body works and a connection to my inner spirit. My personal identity (who I believe I am) shifted. The only way I can explain the difference is through the use of a picture.

2003 – Prior to Gastric Bypass Surgery (33 years old) – Size 30/32

This is a picture of me at my highest weight prior to my surgery – I was traveling through Scotland and took painkillers every day just to be able to walk to enjoy my trip. Before seeing Julie, I never would have shared this picture as I still felt like “that” person and experienced immense shame in being “her.” Now, I don’t feel like the same person and I don’t experience shame when I look at that picture. While I don’t understand exactly what shifted, I do understand how shame works and can make an educated guess.

Shame results from a negative self-evaluation about who we believe we are – our identity as an individual (as opposed to guilt which arises from a negative evaluation of a behavior – not tied to our identity).

So I would see my obese self and it would trigger all those negative self-evaluations – lazy, undisciplined, and stupid. While I understand at a cognitive level that I am none of those, these feelings would arise anyway. (Really, how can I complete a 30 day juice fast and still believe I am undisciplined?)

Brené Brown identifies specific ways to build a resilience to shame, including developing a level of critical awareness about your identities (we all have multiple identities), where they come from and how they are affecting you.

I think that through Julie’s guidance, I was able to develop a level of awareness about my identity tied to weight, which was linked to societal views of overweight people as well as my experiences in my family. The awareness, I think, comes from learning to listen to our bodies (I think of this as my inner spirit), not all of the information coming from society and our experiences with our families. Somehow I was able to let go of those external views and give my inner spirit a higher priority in defining my identity related to weight – which is now centered on healing and balance, not command and control.

Developing shame resilience can be a powerful tool in overcoming negative self-perceptions.

I have spent a lot of time reflecting and thinking about the major changes beyond what we are eating when we are in the river – letting go of the numbers (calories, nutrition information, weight), which are externally imposed upon us, and learning to listen to our bodies.

I think opening up communication between the subconscious and conscious allowed me to not only become critically aware of the external pressures regarding weight/size, but let go of them, taking their power away. I work with these ideas regularly, using meditation to reflect and develop self-compassion.

My final thought is to let go of those expectations and pressures which are harmful and causing unwarranted shame. Listen to your body and follow your energy which will guide you in healing – not just your body but your spirit as well.

PJ 

2005 – 18 Months after Surgery (PJ with her sister) – Size 10/12

2013 – 10 Years after Surgery – Size 16

2014 – 7 Months after Julie (44th Birthday) – Size 10

August 14, 2014