Having a body that is capable of optimal performance is priceless. I'm learning that being the right size for my body can do far more for me than just looking good. I may not be at my goal size yet, but my body is definitely working for me these days.

Transitions are a natural state of being. Look how beautiful this one is!
Photo by Theresa

I'm in transition. Things have changed in my life and I'm not ready to write about the details yet, as it's all so new. The details don't matter. What matters is how I'm handling the transition. I'm handling this as best as I can. As I navigate through new territory, I stay connected to my incredible support system and to my spiritual side. 

I'm proud to say that during this transition there has not been one time that I told myself I deserve to treat myself to X, Y, or Z foods. I deserve to be healthy. Treats do not solve anything. They never have and they never will. I know what my life would be like today if I turned to sugar and it would not be pretty. I would shut down in a comma-like state-of-mind. No thank you.

My key program is deeply rooted. When my transition began, I automatically continued my exercise goals and I automatically continued to choose healthy foods. Sometimes autopilot is a good thing. 

My energy and focus wane throughout the day, but my overall state of being is good. I often feel as if I’m having an out of body experience. Perhaps I am. While I have moments when focusing is a challenge, I also have moments of clarity and feeling well grounded. 

One of moment of clarity is realizing how much my weight loss plays into all this. I can’t imagine how I would deal with this transition if I had not taken off so much weight. Today, at size 14/16, I’m in a good place physically, mentally and spiritually. At size 30/32, this transition would have been far more difficult.

This is another non-scale victory.

Stay the course and allow your body to work for you instead of against you.

July 03, 2014

It's funny how a memory just pops up in your mind. Not funny in a laughing out loud kind of way, but in a strange way. One moment you're peeling a hard-boiled egg and the next moment you're mind is a million miles away, remembering something that happened years ago--as if it was happening in the present moment.

That's what happened to me this morning while making deviled eggs. I picked up the first hard-boiled egg, tapped it lightly on the counter top, and then gave it a roll. Right then a memory of peeling hard-boiled eggs with my Uncle Bill popped into my head.

As I peeled the shell from the egg in my own kitchen, I was transported to my twelve or thirteen year old self in the kitchen standing next to Uncle Bill.

"Give it a light tap on the counter" Uncle Bill instructed me, "and then roll it. That's right! Now peel it. See how easily the shell comes off?"

I've peeled a million hard-boiled eggs since I was a teenager. I'm not sure why this memory surfaced this morning, but it was as if Uncle Bill was standing right next to me, instruction me how to peel an egg.

Standing in my own kitchen, I grabbed my iPhone to take photos of today's egg-peeling event. I didn't realize until that moment that I had peeled four eggs and the last egg was in my hand partially peeled.

I had the idea that I could capture my memory and make it into a short video. I was silent as I set up my iPhone camera and recorded a closeup of the fork in my hands breaking up the cooked egg yokes, adding a spoon of mayo and then mustard. I cracked black pepper over the dish and then sprinkled salt on top.

As the camera continued to roll, I stuffed the eggs. That's when I imagined my mother's critical voice.

"They're messy looking--some have more filling than others. And what about the paprika? Where's the paprika?" Mom's deviled eggs always looked perfect. Mine? No paprika. No perfection.

I picked up my iPhone, zoomed in on my finished product and snapped a few stills before popping a deviled eggs into my mouth. 

Messy looking and void of paprika, these deviled eggs were delicious.

Mom and Uncle Bill are brother and sister and, like their father and two of my brothers, they had diabetes. My grandfather and my Uncle Bill were thin men their whole lives. Neither of them ever had weight issues, unlike my mom and my diabetic brothers. Diabetes was just one of several health issues my mother, her father, her brother, and her oldest son (my brother) had going on when they passed away.

Four years ago my nurse practitioner told me, with an authoritative certainty, despite the negative results from my annual diabetes test, "you are going to become a diabetic."

"No!" I told her with my own authoritative certainty.

I always knew I would never become a diabetic, despite my mother's family history of diabetes, because decades ago I decided to claim my father's genes, as there was no diabetes or Alzheimer on his side of the family. As if one can really make such a claim.

When my memory of Uncle Bill and Mom surfaced this morning, I thought of their struggle with diabetes and how neither one of them was willing to give up sugar. 

I remember Uncle Bill checking his blood sugar level, taking his medicine, eating lunch, and then eagerly waiting to bite into a piece of pie. I'm not sure of the exact order of those events, but as I sat beside Uncle Bill at his kitchen table, I would silently stake claim to having my father's family genes.

I don't remember if my mom took medicine for her diabetes, but I vividly recall my grandfather injecting himself daily with a needle. I also remember him using a lot of Saccharin.

I was excited about making this memory into a video this morning, but it seems deviled eggs aren't the only thing in my life that lack perfection. Technology got the better of me. My new iPhone won't speak to my desktop computer, so I can't get edit my video or record my story. Well I know I can figure this out, but I don't have all day to do this, so here I am writing my memory instead.

As I finish writing this piece, I think about my life today and I can't help but ponder a few what if questions. What if I hadn't changed the way I eat? What if I hadn't loss all this weight? What if I was still a size 30/32 instead of a 14/16? Would I have become diabetic? Or do I really have my dad's gene's?

Lucky for me, and it really isn't about luck, I won't ever know if I had stayed on the path I was on before this program, the path where I communed with Ben & Jerry daily, if I would have become diabetic. Family history and statistics have a strong case against my claim.

What I do know is that eating the way I learned on this program, I will never become diabetic. Paprika is still an option, but perfection is debatable.

Mom and Uncle Bill

June 28, 2014

Friday night I took my measurements and went online to look at a size chart. OMG. Have you ever done this? When I looked at the chart it says I'm supposed to be...I'm none of the sizes listed! My measurements are not on the chart! According to the charts (and I looked at several), I am three different sizes (my bust, hips, and waist are not in the same size and the size between each is wide; no pun intended). No wonder I'm not finding clothes that fit me.

Then and now

I feel like wearing girly-girl clothes. I'm SO over wearing black and white--I want vibrant colors!  I have a handful of summer dresses and a ton of blouses, but I want some short skirts. I recently dropped another size, so I just need to find the place where my size exists. Size doesn't matter, but where oh where are clothes my size?

Last summer I discovered Dress Barn, but everything I liked was a size 8. My trip there yesterday lasted 2 hours and I left empty-handed. I can see things there fit better, but nothing in the styles I want.

To boost my morale, which was low after not having any success at Dress Barn, I went into my photos and pulled a photo from my days of being a size 30/32 to post here next to my current size. I'm telling you, a photo is worth a thousand words.

I know I've said this a million times on this blog, but it's worth repeating: take photos and take them often!

Looking at myself in the size 30/32 photo next to a photo taken last month, there is no denying my transformation. Wooohoo! As big as I may some days feel--I am not the size I used to be. I have come a long way. Sure, I wish it was faster, but it is what it is and I'm so far from a size 30/32.

I also booked a refresher, because I want to reach maintenance and I need a boost to help me get there. Yes, I'm having success dropping weight again, but I want to push through to the finish line. I called today and have an appointment for next month.

To those of you reading this: do whatever it takes to stay the course to make it to your finish line. However long it takes - you are worth it.

June 23, 2014

I have been on Julie's program for well over 2 years. Still have not strayed, fallen off the wagon, or cheated. Still going strong, and just have a peace inside of me that I WILL get to my goal.

I have noticed in the past few months I have begun an unusual habit. Certainly not a normal one in my book or in my husband's.

I have begun smelling food. Yup, you heard me right!

If my dear husband goes to eat something unusual, or that looks really yummy, I have to smell it. Poor Greg, he can't have a dessert without my sticking my nose in it first.

We were on vacation at an all inclusive the end of winter, and my dear hubby enjoyed a few desserts. Well, he enjoyed them AFTER my nose was in them!

Why do I smell food? Who knows! BUT I must say, some of the fragrances are absolutely delightful. They do not provoke a craving, I just enjoy the smell.

I was telling Theresa about this habit one day, and she likened it to smelling beautiful flowers. We love to smell a fragrant flower but it doesn't mean we are going to eat it. At least I am not going to!! Even though before Julie, I could have eaten everything in sight!!!

I work in a bakery now, have since before my trip to Italy in the fall. I love to bake and seeing no one eats it at home, it is the perfect job for me.

I guess I can pinpoint my strange new behavior as starting in Italy. My father ate the pastries and desserts. He kept telling me they were not sweet even though they sure looked sweet to me. Thus began my smelling food habit.

On an average day at the bakery, while stuff is baking I can not smell it. I figure Julie must have something to do with that. But once in a while I just have to stick my nose into something and smell it. My co-workers find it funny that it doesn't make me want to eat it, but I just enjoy the fragrance.

These are just some of the beautiful flowers in my garden.

Hopefully my food smelling habit doesn't get to out of control!! One of my friends, laughingly said to me, "I sure hope you can contain yourself in a restaurant and not start smelling everyones food! I can see you at therapy now for food smelling!"

LOL! Gotta love your friends!!!

I am going for a refresher this week and plan to ask Julie about this food smelling thing. Will keep you posted!

June 09, 2014

Two months ago, I spent a few hours with three of my key friends / blog contributors and we had a blast. We had a nice lunch together and then walked for an hour or more   something none of us could have endured before this program.

Selfie: Linda, Jennifer, Alaina, Theresa

We met at Johnny's Bar & Grille for lunch. All of us ordered the same thing: bone-in salt and pepper chicken wings, fried Brussels sprouts, seltzer with lots of lemons, and an extra large order of laughing and talking. The staff were fabulous and they were so kind to take our photo again and again until they had one with just the right light.

Alaina, Jennifer,  Theresa, Linda

After lunch, we walked across the street to Mount Holyoke College to tour the beautiful library and to see the Dale Chihuly sculpture Clear and Gold Tower. After the our self-tour of the library, we headed outside toward lower lake.

As we walked across campus, the laughter continued. We were all so relaxed and it was a beautiful day, so I pulled my camera. I had to seize the moment and do a photo shoot of everyone. It was an honor to capture the fun spirit of each of these women.

Usually I would insert a "before" photo next to these photos, but this time, I want to let the photos speak for themselves.

Alaina

Jennifer

Linda

Theresa

When my photo was taken, we didn't realize the video button was selected and consequently we recorded a rather funny moment, but some moments are not to be shared beyond close friends. This was one of those moments.

June 06, 2014

One of the great things about this weight loss program is that I don't think about food all the time. Yes, I plan what I'm going to eat, but only when I'm going to buy groceries. This doesn't mean I don't have a strategy, it just means I don't need to obsess about food.

Finnian asked:

Hi I have a question about some of the strategies or "tricks" as you refer to them...In the sessions I attended she never said anything about "tapping away hunger" or "don't wanna want it" can you explain to me what these things mean?

Tap, tap, tap, is not a phrase Julie uses. During one of my initial sessions Julie described a technique to use when we have sugar cravings. As she spoke about sugar cravings getting stronger and stronger, one of her hands moved closer to her body and then she gave us the suggestion to push away the sugar cravings. Over the years that I've been following this program, I turned that concept into the phrase tap, tap, tap, which I use as a reminder to push away cravings. 

I don't know about you, but I like having energy to do other things in my life instead of thinking about my next fix, I mean meal. In order for this to happen, having a strategy helps.

What's My Strategy?

My strategy is similar to Nike's famous brand statement, I just do it. I follow the plan as Julie taught me and after three years of just doing in, I don't have to think what I'm doing - I just do what I've trained myself to do. Sure, there are days I wonder about what to cook, plenty days in fact, but this program is a way of life for me.

To get to this zen-like place, I did a lot of thinking along the way. I was full of questions that only I could answer. The question that kept coming up again and again was Why am I on a plateau?

I asked my key friends for their sage wisdom about plateaus and what they do when they're on one. In response, they asked two questions: 1) what are you eating? and 2) when are you eating? Let's take a closer look at what they had to say...

What are You Eating?

We tend to get in a rut and eat the same foods...change is good. Think about what you're eating and change up the foods. Breakfast for example, should not be the same every day. When we repeat the same meals, our bodies think "oh no, another diet" and it starts storing fat because it thinks we're going to starve it.

• Army men - if you're eating anything that will bring out the army men, stop now!
• Too much milk - try two weeks of cutting your milk and see if this makes any difference.
• Cut back on the vodka - the caution here is if you drink to much, you may end up eating things that you will regret in the morning.
• Big coffee drinker - scale back.
• Are you only having breakfast foods for breakfast? Mix it up and have chicken for breakfast.
• Are you eating the same foods - it's essential to eat a variety of foods or your body thinks it's on a diet and holds onto your weight.
• Cheese - it's a condiment and the sooner you accept this and treat it as such, the better for you. 
• Cook simpler.  We don't need to make complicated meals three times a day. Keep it simple. Simple doesn't have to be boring, it's just less work. Less work means more time for fun. Fun is good! Go have some fun.

When are You Eating?

• Eat only when you are hungry.
• Stop eating when you're full.
• Milk - while we are not limited to how much milk we drink, we were warned NOT to drink milk by the gallon. 
• Pepperoni - now that I’ve become a meat lover, I've given up pepperoni as a regular item on my menu. When I started this program I didn’t like meat AT ALL and I asked about pepperoni and was told it was allowed. A few months ago I decided I want to drop another size more than I want pepperoni. It's all about free-will.
• Condiments - a wise key friend recently said: Julie gave us meat and veggies, not meat, veggies, and condiments. We are allowed condiments to enhance our foods, not have the whole bottle. Also essential: “nothing sweet to the lips” means if a condiment (or any food) tastes sweet, we shouldn’t eat it. I no longer using Marie’s salad dressing and I’m looking for new ways to enjoy tuna and chicken — am I really going to say it aloud, omg, yes — without mayo!
• Eating the same food daily - variety in our foods is essential. I make smaller dishes instead of large batches that I ate over the next few days.

What to Do if You're on a Plateau?

1. Accept that plateaus are a natural part of the weight loss process. 
2. Have patience. Your body plateaus so it has time to heal.
3. Look at your fat intake. Are you eating a lot of bacon, hot dogs, butter, mayo? Cut way back on fatty foods. 
4. Get moving - find a form of exercise that you can do and start moving. Set goals for yourself and keep to your commitment.
5. Be gentle with yourself. This is a learning process. Along the way, you may discover things you are eating that are not on program. Realize your mistake and move on - today. There are no tomorrows - we only have today. Seize the moment.

Image source: Fitness Health Wellness Professional Fitness Institute

June 05, 2014

My brother and his wife were invited to celebrate the birthdays of a couple we've known for over thirty years. Both the husband and wife turned 80 in May and to celebrate our friends invited four couples to join them on a cruise. My brother was not able to go and I was invited in his place. All I had to do was pay for my ticket to Florida and back, and to bring along at least two formal dresses. Who am I to say no to such an incredible invitation? What's a girl to do? Start looking for formal dresses of course!

View from my balcony on the Oasis of the Seas.

A few weeks after I accepted this fabulous gift, something incredible happened: one of our key friends posted a notice she had 8 bags of clothes ranging from size 12-18 to give away to the first person who contacted her. I responded right away and we arranged to meet at her house.

I spent about an hour on her front steps, listening to her inspiring weight loss story. After our visit, she brought the bags out to the steps and I loaded them into my trunk. As I walked toward my car with the last bag, I heard her call out from inside the house.

"Hold on! I have some more."

I looked up and saw her coming out the front door with her hands full of beautiful dresses. I'm so grateful and fortunate to have made this connection.

Back home I sorted through the clothes and put the items that were too small into a bin, I wrote a note and placed it on top before closing the lid. The note read: beautiful clothes that will fit me soon.

The dresses she handed to me were size 12's and 14's and too small for me last summer, but I was optimistic they would fit me by the time I went on the cruise.  I hung the dresses in the left side of my closet, next to other clothes waiting for me to fit into them.
As summer turned to fall, I kept pulling the beautiful dresses out of my closet and holding them up to me in front of my full length mirror. I could see they did not to fit yet; my body was wider than the dresses.

January, February, and then March passed, and each time I stepped in front of the mirror, the results were the same: the dresses were still beautiful and still too small.

The first of April, after having lunch with some of my key friends in South Hadley, I invited Jennifer and Linda to my house to get their opinion on a formal dress I had bought for the cruise that I was unsure of how it looked. I felt it clung to my backside too much and in the end I returned it. While they were at my house, I put on a black dress from my key friend for them to help me determine if it was too tight.

They agreed with me, it was too tight. I showed them the other dresses and said how sad that they too were to small. Jennifer suggested I try them on, but I said no; I was positive they would not fit. After they left, I decided to try them on and I was shocked--I could get into all but two of the dresses. I would not go outside my house in any of them, as they were way too tight, but I could fit into them.

What shocked me so much was that these dresses looked so small. I was in awe. Am I really that small? Despite the fact that they were skin tight - the fact that I could get into them was incredible.

Tick tock. Time was running out and I still had to get my formal dresses lined up.

A friend in New York sent me a dress that she was confident would fit me and that it would look incredible. When it arrived, I tried it on and she was right. The floor length red dress was a beautiful color on me, but it needed to be shortened and altered to fit me better. I asked around for a good tailor.

One dress down, one more to go.

Two summers ago I bought a few beautiful dresses and they're too big under the arms. I decided to take them to the tailor as well. I was lucky again, as prom season was closing in and the tailor would have just enough time to finish my dresses on time.

Meanwhile, I kept trying on those size 12 and 14 dresses right up until a few days before I left. They fit much better, but they were still too tight. In the end, those beautiful dresses did not go in my suitcase. It turns out that I had exactly the right number of pretty dresses to bring with me.

This cruise wasn't only about dresses, although I have a ton of photos of me wearing all my beautiful dresses. There were a couple physical challenges I gave myself while on the cruise that I could not have done prior to losing this weight. I'll share those stories and more in the weeks ahead.

Meanwhile, here are some photos in my beautiful dresses. This first photo was taken outside of the Ritz-Carlton in Naples, FL, where the first of many birthday celebrations took place. I felt like a celebrity when we arrived. Getting out of a stretch limo in a short dress while others are watching, was interesting!

Did you ever get into a stretch limo in a short dress?

This is the beautiful red dress my friend gave me.

This is one of the dresses I had the tailor make smaller.

Same dress in 2012 and 2013, which I had altered before the cruise.

I couldn't resist showing this same dress that I had altered to wear last Halloween.

Buying a dress off a street vendor in Jamaica was not possible when I was a size 30/32. And, at the insistence of our host, I bought the hat the same day from another vendor. There was a time, when the hat would have been the only thing on the street that would fit me.

The big birthday celebration was in Cozumel, Mexico.

This is is the other formal dress, which I had in my closet.

Ten of us traveled on the Oasis of the Seas to Haiti, Jamaica, and Mexico

June 01, 2014

One of the key concepts is to eat local veggies and to eat them when they are in season. Here in the Pioneer Valley asparagus season is underway (May through June). Now is the time for us to indulge in asparagus and to get you started, here's a delicious recipe for oven-roasted asparagus.

Oven-Roasted Asparagus

Ingredients

• 1 1/2 pounds green asparagus
• olive oil
• sea salt (optional)
• fresh ground black pepper
• 2 large eggs (which you will hard-boil)
• chopped flat-leaf parsley or chives, for garnish

Directions

Heat the oven to 425ºF

Prepare the asparagus:

1. Asparagus need to be cleaned very well, as dirt gets trapped under the tips and is unpleasant to eat. Grasp each spear at both ends and bend it, it will snap in half; the top half is edible and tender. Save the bottoms to add to a stock.
2. Fill a bowl with cold water and submerge the asparagus spear tips and swirl them around a few times, loosening up and removing any grit. If necessary, repeat in a few changes of water to ensure that all grit is removed. 
3. Wash and towel-dry the asparagus and then peel the tough skin off the stalks with a vegetable peeler.

After preparing the asparagus:

1. Drizzle a few spoonfuls of olive oil on a baking sheet and sprinkle with (optional) salt and pepper. 
2. Toss the asparagus in the oil and roast in the oven, turning the spears a few times during roasting, for 18 to 20 minutes or until the asparagus is tender when you poke a knife into the stems. Don’t overcook them.
3. While the asparagus are cooking, hard-boil the eggs, drain the water from the pot, add ice and cold water, and then let the eggs sit in the water until they are cool.
4. Option: instead the eggs, use shavings of Parmesan or Pecorino cheese, crumbled feta, or crispy bits of bacon.
5. Place the asparagus on a serving platter. 
6. Peel the eggs and then use a cheese grater with large holes to grate the eggs over the asparagus.
7. Sprinkle chopped parsley or chives over the asparagus and serve. 
8. This dish may be served hot or at room temperature. 

Photo source and original recipe

May 31, 2014