I need some feedback on this one.

Julie talked about vivid dreams, and that is sooo true!!! I have lots of vivid dreams!

I have the food dreams that I LOVE, and crazy mixed up dreams that make no sense.

But I have noticed something different. Didn’t pay much attention to these until last night. Seems like every so often I have a very vivid dream that takes my today life and mixes in real life, from the past, very upsetting moments, traumatic moments that have happened to me. We are talking troubling things that happened way in the past.

While I am dreaming I am very upset, when I wake up I am very upset and it takes me a while to get the dream out of my system.

Hmmmmm

Do you think this is my minds way of trying to get me to resort to my old methods of dealing with stress and trauma by eating? Or is it because I am 55 and starting with ‘old timers’ disease!!!

I woke up pretty upset this morning and then thought about what I had dreamt about, and really picked it apart. Interesting…

I really wonder if my mind is trying to get me to eat stuff I will NOT eat!!!

Is our minds that powerful, that smart????

WOW!! Scary!!!

I know Julie impressed upon me in classes how smart our subconsciousness is, but WOW!!!

Interesting!!

What are your takes on this??? I am really curious!! (and if you think I am loosing it, I will welcome those comments too!! LOL)

Is this happening to anyone else????

February 27, 2013

The picture below is taken in February of 2008, my last trip to Germany, and the picture above, about 5 minutes ago.  Not just the hair color changed .. J  I had trouble finding a picture from "before Julie" because I avoided the camera. I am enthusiastically continue with my journey, and now, that I have figured out how to post pictures, I will keep 'em coming. The smile on my face is genuine. I am so happy that I am losing weight again. Like many of you, I’ve struggled my whole life and been on so many diets. I love this way of living and eating and my connection with all of you. I love our support team!

February 25, 2013

     This month marks one year that I have been working on maintenance, and nothing is going to take this achievement away from me. I wanted to touch on a few things that have pushed me along on this 1 year milestone.

     First of all, this is the first time in my life that the word "maintenance" has been used for longer than 5 minutes. I achieved the use of the same word when I was with Weight Watchers, but they couldn't stop the food from talking to me, and the food won over again. I now know the power of this word. Extreme power! And there is not one food out there that is going to take this word away from my vocabulary!

     If you think of food from an alcoholics point of view, and find it in yourself to tell yourself "most food is poison", and use Julie's help, then you can push these "bad" things away.

     The MOST important thing I have been working on this year? Please read on!

     Stress will be around every corner, and I use whatever the situation is as a "test". I say to myself "I am being tested" and for the first time in my life, I am pushing through and passing these "tests"! You have to somehow find your strength to be able to say "I am being tested, and I am going to win, come out on top, not give in, push it away", then the tests become fewer and farther between. It will always be around us, these "tests". It is how one accepts the "ism"  (foodaholism, how is that?!?!?!) so that you don't feel like you failed. It truly comes from within, and the more you empower yourself, the less the food will talk to you.

     The second most important thing I have learned?

     When I go on vacation, whether it be for a night, a weekend, a week, I CANNOT, WILL NOT stray from what Julie has simply given me to use every day. It isn't as if the journey has changed because I am not sleeping in my own bed. I did that my whole life. And it got me squat! Well, what it did was get me pre-diabetes and high blood pressure. And I don't want the food to start talking to me again.

     Why?  I am a food addict!  I am addicted to food! IT IS WHAT IT IS!!!!! I would also not "drink a drink" while on vacation if I was an alcoholic. Do you think I would be able to stop at just one if I had a problem with alcohol? Would it be ok if the person I was on vacation with knew I was an alcoholic and said "oh come on, you can do it-Just one drink!" Is that ok? Not for me. I know people have said that Julie has told them "when you pack your bags, then get back on". Well, I have never heard that. In fact, I heard the opposite. At my refresher last September, I heard her say that she would never tell someone that, and she doesn't know where that came from! So, if it was said, then IT WASN'T FOR ME. Because I NEVER HEARD IT. This is part of my SACRIFICE AND FREE WILL. And why the heck would I want to cave in to something that makes me feel disgusted and guilty when I can eat an entire steak and a whole lobster if I want to?!?!?!

     This is why Julie's behavior modification plan is different from everyone else. She has been able to push the food talk away from us by giving us tools to use, and her talking to our cells. It can and does work. I know it is hard to look at other people and say "they can eat the fucking food (pardon me please, but I have thought it that way, so that is what I am going to write) SO why can't I?" Why do I have to have an addiction? Why was I wired this way? Whine Whine Whine!!!!!! I no longer do that. I smile, eat my pepperoni or my tuna, and say, Damn I Look Good in My Size 6 Levis!!!! I continue to follow this journey to the best of my ability. I say no thank you when I need to, and don't think another thought about it. My commitment is still 100%!!!!!

     My chains have been lifted. FOOD no longer controls ME.  I CONTROL IT!!!!!!!!

                     Happy One Year of Maintenance to Me!!!!

February 21, 2013

Yesterday at the hair salon something awesome happened.

“Man, you look great! You lost a lot of weight since I saw you last”. Yep, those are the words from a lady I hadn’t seen since just before Christmas. We both had an appointment last night at the same hair salon. My hair stylist was in agreement with her and we went on and on, for the next couple of hours about weight, diets, etc. Both of these ladies are familiar with Julie, not just because of me, but of a co-worker, who had lost, according to my friend, had lost a ton of weight and she kept it off for quite some time now. You know, I know I am losing weight because my clothes fit me again and I just feel it, but to hear it is just such a confirmation. Because of the blog and the support group from Facebook I feel encouraged and committed. Thank you to all of you, support group. I’ve learned so much and I continue to learn more. This is not a diet for me, but a way of living. I am not saying I will never have a glass of Wine again or a piece of cake, but for the most part, I am just fine the way things are with what I can consume. Just keep ad it each day and you will be successful.

February 21, 2013

I don’t even know how to begin this post! My SHOCK is making me shake!!

Let me explain:

I went to Savers today with my dear friend Luann. We needed to get some stuff for our upcoming trip. Luann is very patient with me, VERY patient with me!

Today I was trying on jackets and just didn’t like any. I felt fat. There wasn’t a good selection in the rack I was in, and I was just batting zero.

Luann found a whole section with lighter weight jackets so off we went. She found a really nice one and had me try it on. She told me to NOT look at the size so I didn’t. When I zipped it I thought it was to snug but she kept telling me it wasn’t. I argued, so she finally told me to go look in a mirror. I headed to the nearest mirror

I turned around to look in the mirror…

I DIDN’T RECOGNIZE THE WOMAN LOOKING BACK AT ME!!!

I started shaking and went back to Luann and she could tell I was shook up about something, so I told her that the store must have trick mirrors because there was NO WAY that was ME in that mirror.

She argued of course, and I went and looked again. NOPE, no way was that me in that mirror.

I made Luann go stand in front of the mirror to see what she saw. She went and said it looked like what she sees everyday. So I looked, and yup, sure looked like her.

So I stood in front of it again.

Much as my mind was fighting me, I had to admit it was me looking back at me.

WHO WAS THAT THINNER WOMAN!!! ME!!??? NO WAY!!!!

Luann went in the dressing room to try on stuff and she left me in front of a dressing room mirror. While she was in there I hit every mirror in the place and looked at myself. I was bound and determined to prove those mirrors wrong, but I couldn’t.

It was me looking back at me!!

WOW, OH WOW!!

Well, I bought that jacket and when I got home I put it on and told my husband to look at me. What did he see? Typical hubby, he saw a new jacket! So I yelled, NO, look at me!! WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME I LOOK LIKE I LOST WEIGHT!!!

Then my dear husband says, “you wouldn’t have believed me if I did”!!

Oh, and by the way, my new jacket is a MEDIUM!!!!!

February 19, 2013

Part of this weight loss program is learning to eat a variety of foods rather than eating the same thing day after day, week after week. To continue success on my journey, I'm trying new recipes. Cooking doesn't get any easier than this recipe: add 4 ingredients to a crockpot and forget about it for 6-8 hours.

Crockpot lemon chicken with roasted butternut squash. Photo by Theresa.

I made this crockpot lemon chicken over the weekend and it was delicious! The chicken fell apart as I served up my dish. The flavor was incredible and this is now one of my favorite dishes. I modified the recipe a little by adding a half cup of olive oil with a half stick of butter (instead of a whole stick). I cooked 4 boneless chicken breasts, not the 5-6 pieces as the recipe suggests, so next time I make this, I'll cut back on the butter and olive oil.

Ingredients

• 1 stick of butter (or 1/2 stick of butter and 1/2 cup olive oil)
• 1 packet dry Italian dressing mix
• 1-2 lemons
• 5-6 boneless chicken breasts

Directions

1. Stick of butter in bottom of crock pot and allow to melt. 
2. Lay chicken in pot. 
3. Sprinkle Italian dressing packet over chicken, drizzle with lemon juice, pop the lid on.
4. Cook on high 4-5 hours, or low 6-8 hours

February 19, 2013

One of the bonuses about the way I'm eating on this program is the quiet place my mind is in relation to food. Food no longer calls my name. I've heard others say this as well. Once in a while the volume gets turned up and when it does, it's usually cheese "calling" me, but sometimes it's yogurt.

Photo source: Food Librarian

There have been times when my inner child rebels and I justify having two yogurts in one sitting. My inner child declares I just ate a ton of meat, so I can have 2 yogurts. Hello? If I ate a ton of meat--am I still hungry or am I eating a second yogurt because it tastes so good? The answer, of course, is the later.

When my inner child wins, a short amount of time after I have the two yogurts, I fall asleep on the couch and I wake up feeling hungover, as if I'd had too much to drink. This used to happen to me after I ate too much sugar, so it seems like a food allergy. This doesn't happen when I eat one yogurt, so I try to remind my inner child of this when she acts out. When she wins, I stop having yogurt for a while. Then I win!

When I have an extra yogurt, or too much cheese, I'm playing with what I refer to as "grey areas." In reality, there are no grey areas on this program. Once I came clean with myself about this, I realized such "grey areas" were the cause of my long plateaus. I'm still working on the cheese issues, but last summer I put an end to eating too much Siggi's, by implementing a couple of rules:

1. Only buy 1 or 2 yogurts at a time. The program allows for 1-2 per week and I pass my quota if I buy more.
2. Only buy yogurt on the weekend. This helps me keep track of how much I eat. 

Yogurt, yogurt, yogurt, how I love my Siggi's yogurt! As I wrote this piece, I suppressed an urge to run to the store. My "plan" was to buy an orange and ginger yogurt, put it in a beautiful dish, and then take a photo to accompany this piece. (Do you ever put yogurt in a dish before eating it? I haven't done this for over a decade.) Instead of running to the store, I turned down the volume by making breakfast (I used a photo I found online). As soon as I began to eat breakfast "communications" from Siggi's stopped.

What do you do to turn down the (food) volume?

BTW, I was on the Siggi's website and I discovered what may be the reason why Siggi's is allowed on this program: it has 2-3 times the protein count of standard yogurt.

Skyr is the traditional yogurt of Iceland. It is made by incubating skim milk with live active cultures. The whey, the water naturally found in milk, is then strained away to make for a much thicker, creamier, concentrated yogurt. So to make just one cup of skyr, with all that water going out, you need 3 - 4 times the amount of milk required to make a regular cup of yogurt. As a result of this process skyr comes out with 2-3 times the protein count of standard yogurt.

February 16, 2013

So, it’s that time of the year again. Another year older, but I refuse to look at it this way. I celebrate pretty much the whole month. Yep, I am that type of person, where’s the party? But, as we are all aware of, sometimes a little bit of overindulgence.

I remember Julie saying, when celebrating, or on vacations, sacrifice will lead to a bigger weight loss. I am proud to say that so far I am doing really good by sticking to the plan. For instance, last night in the Restaurant I wanted to order something I never had before. It was a Portuguese dish, including muscles, shrimp and pork with rice. I know that one of my favorite Portuguese dishes “Paella” comes with rice.

What’s a girl to do? I asked the Waitress, to ask the Chef if it can be prepared without the rice, and to double up on the veggies. The meal was delicious. So, don’t hesitate to ask your server. More than likely the Wait staff and Chef’s are happy to accommodate you.

I have to confess that last Saturday, dinner at a friend’s house, was more complicated. I did the best I could, but I wonder what I actually ate. We had Cheese & Crackers (I did not eat a cracker), stuffed mushroom caps. I had some of those. I am guessing there were some breadcrumbs in there somewhere, but I didn’t ask. I was hoping if I don’t know it, it won’t hurt me. There was no meat of any kind or veggies. So, I ate some cheese and stuffed mushrooms and I feel guilty and worried since.  For the main meal we had delicious roasted Turkey with veggies (she prepared Cole Slaw for me, which I love), but the French Meat stuffing had little bits of potatoes. I loved it, but was very aware of the potatoes.

Oh, I am not done yet. The party continues right through next week. I promise to be on my best behavior. My clothes still fit, so that’s a good sign. Don’t you agree? 

February 13, 2013