I don’t even know how to begin this post! My SHOCK is making me shake!!

Let me explain:

I went to Savers today with my dear friend Luann. We needed to get some stuff for our upcoming trip. Luann is very patient with me, VERY patient with me!

Today I was trying on jackets and just didn’t like any. I felt fat. There wasn’t a good selection in the rack I was in, and I was just batting zero.

Luann found a whole section with lighter weight jackets so off we went. She found a really nice one and had me try it on. She told me to NOT look at the size so I didn’t. When I zipped it I thought it was to snug but she kept telling me it wasn’t. I argued, so she finally told me to go look in a mirror. I headed to the nearest mirror

I turned around to look in the mirror…

I DIDN’T RECOGNIZE THE WOMAN LOOKING BACK AT ME!!!

I started shaking and went back to Luann and she could tell I was shook up about something, so I told her that the store must have trick mirrors because there was NO WAY that was ME in that mirror.

She argued of course, and I went and looked again. NOPE, no way was that me in that mirror.

I made Luann go stand in front of the mirror to see what she saw. She went and said it looked like what she sees everyday. So I looked, and yup, sure looked like her.

So I stood in front of it again.

Much as my mind was fighting me, I had to admit it was me looking back at me.

WHO WAS THAT THINNER WOMAN!!! ME!!??? NO WAY!!!!

Luann went in the dressing room to try on stuff and she left me in front of a dressing room mirror. While she was in there I hit every mirror in the place and looked at myself. I was bound and determined to prove those mirrors wrong, but I couldn’t.

It was me looking back at me!!

WOW, OH WOW!!

Well, I bought that jacket and when I got home I put it on and told my husband to look at me. What did he see? Typical hubby, he saw a new jacket! So I yelled, NO, look at me!! WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME I LOOK LIKE I LOST WEIGHT!!!

Then my dear husband says, “you wouldn’t have believed me if I did”!!

Oh, and by the way, my new jacket is a MEDIUM!!!!!

February 19, 2013

Part of this weight loss program is learning to eat a variety of foods rather than eating the same thing day after day, week after week. To continue success on my journey, I'm trying new recipes. Cooking doesn't get any easier than this recipe: add 4 ingredients to a crockpot and forget about it for 6-8 hours.

Crockpot lemon chicken with roasted butternut squash. Photo by Theresa.

I made this crockpot lemon chicken over the weekend and it was delicious! The chicken fell apart as I served up my dish. The flavor was incredible and this is now one of my favorite dishes. I modified the recipe a little by adding a half cup of olive oil with a half stick of butter (instead of a whole stick). I cooked 4 boneless chicken breasts, not the 5-6 pieces as the recipe suggests, so next time I make this, I'll cut back on the butter and olive oil.

Ingredients

• 1 stick of butter (or 1/2 stick of butter and 1/2 cup olive oil)
• 1 packet dry Italian dressing mix
• 1-2 lemons
• 5-6 boneless chicken breasts

Directions

1. Stick of butter in bottom of crock pot and allow to melt. 
2. Lay chicken in pot. 
3. Sprinkle Italian dressing packet over chicken, drizzle with lemon juice, pop the lid on.
4. Cook on high 4-5 hours, or low 6-8 hours

February 19, 2013

One of the bonuses about the way I'm eating on this program is the quiet place my mind is in relation to food. Food no longer calls my name. I've heard others say this as well. Once in a while the volume gets turned up and when it does, it's usually cheese "calling" me, but sometimes it's yogurt.

Photo source: Food Librarian

There have been times when my inner child rebels and I justify having two yogurts in one sitting. My inner child declares I just ate a ton of meat, so I can have 2 yogurts. Hello? If I ate a ton of meat--am I still hungry or am I eating a second yogurt because it tastes so good? The answer, of course, is the later.

When my inner child wins, a short amount of time after I have the two yogurts, I fall asleep on the couch and I wake up feeling hungover, as if I'd had too much to drink. This used to happen to me after I ate too much sugar, so it seems like a food allergy. This doesn't happen when I eat one yogurt, so I try to remind my inner child of this when she acts out. When she wins, I stop having yogurt for a while. Then I win!

When I have an extra yogurt, or too much cheese, I'm playing with what I refer to as "grey areas." In reality, there are no grey areas on this program. Once I came clean with myself about this, I realized such "grey areas" were the cause of my long plateaus. I'm still working on the cheese issues, but last summer I put an end to eating too much Siggi's, by implementing a couple of rules:

1. Only buy 1 or 2 yogurts at a time. The program allows for 1-2 per week and I pass my quota if I buy more.
2. Only buy yogurt on the weekend. This helps me keep track of how much I eat. 

Yogurt, yogurt, yogurt, how I love my Siggi's yogurt! As I wrote this piece, I suppressed an urge to run to the store. My "plan" was to buy an orange and ginger yogurt, put it in a beautiful dish, and then take a photo to accompany this piece. (Do you ever put yogurt in a dish before eating it? I haven't done this for over a decade.) Instead of running to the store, I turned down the volume by making breakfast (I used a photo I found online). As soon as I began to eat breakfast "communications" from Siggi's stopped.

What do you do to turn down the (food) volume?

BTW, I was on the Siggi's website and I discovered what may be the reason why Siggi's is allowed on this program: it has 2-3 times the protein count of standard yogurt.

Skyr is the traditional yogurt of Iceland. It is made by incubating skim milk with live active cultures. The whey, the water naturally found in milk, is then strained away to make for a much thicker, creamier, concentrated yogurt. So to make just one cup of skyr, with all that water going out, you need 3 - 4 times the amount of milk required to make a regular cup of yogurt. As a result of this process skyr comes out with 2-3 times the protein count of standard yogurt.

February 16, 2013

So, it’s that time of the year again. Another year older, but I refuse to look at it this way. I celebrate pretty much the whole month. Yep, I am that type of person, where’s the party? But, as we are all aware of, sometimes a little bit of overindulgence.

I remember Julie saying, when celebrating, or on vacations, sacrifice will lead to a bigger weight loss. I am proud to say that so far I am doing really good by sticking to the plan. For instance, last night in the Restaurant I wanted to order something I never had before. It was a Portuguese dish, including muscles, shrimp and pork with rice. I know that one of my favorite Portuguese dishes “Paella” comes with rice.

What’s a girl to do? I asked the Waitress, to ask the Chef if it can be prepared without the rice, and to double up on the veggies. The meal was delicious. So, don’t hesitate to ask your server. More than likely the Wait staff and Chef’s are happy to accommodate you.

I have to confess that last Saturday, dinner at a friend’s house, was more complicated. I did the best I could, but I wonder what I actually ate. We had Cheese & Crackers (I did not eat a cracker), stuffed mushroom caps. I had some of those. I am guessing there were some breadcrumbs in there somewhere, but I didn’t ask. I was hoping if I don’t know it, it won’t hurt me. There was no meat of any kind or veggies. So, I ate some cheese and stuffed mushrooms and I feel guilty and worried since.  For the main meal we had delicious roasted Turkey with veggies (she prepared Cole Slaw for me, which I love), but the French Meat stuffing had little bits of potatoes. I loved it, but was very aware of the potatoes.

Oh, I am not done yet. The party continues right through next week. I promise to be on my best behavior. My clothes still fit, so that’s a good sign. Don’t you agree? 

February 13, 2013

Blue Cheese Stuffed Buffalo Chicken Meatballs

Makes approx 6 doz party size meatballs

Ingredients

• 2 lbs ground chicken
• 1 package blue cheese crumbles (5 oz)
• 2 ribs of celery minced
• 2 T minced garlic
• 1tsp garlic powder
• 1 egg
• 1/2 cup bread crumb
• salt and pepper
• 3T  franks hot sauce

Directions

1. Mix all together and form into meatballs. Bake in 400 degree oven for 20 to 25 min
2. Sauce: mix together 1 cup of franks hot sauce and 4 Tbs melted butter.
3. Add the meatballs and sauce to a crock pot or just could toss with sauce and eat.

I haven't made this yet, but others following this program say it's divine. You'll know when I've made it because I'll add a photo.

February 12, 2013

For the past few months I've been listening to meditations by Burt Goldman. If you could use 15 minutes of relaxation today, find a quiet space and listen to Daisy Pond Guided Meditation.

February 10, 2013

Silence is Golden. Unless that silence is killing you. Before I started this program two years ago, I was dying a slow spiritual death of silent humiliations.

Friend's garden on Martha's Vineyard. Photo by Theresa

This blog includes many stories of my victory over humiliating events. Some of of those stories, and there are nearly 300 of them now, I had never said aloud, even to my close friends.

In the past few months, I've had a few "ah-ha" Oprah kind of moments that showed me a few issues I faced in silence over the years. These are a few:

• Do I dare join in the others at this party to play piñata or am I too horrified they'll be staring at my backside the whole time? A few years ago I was at a friend's birthday party and they were playing games. When they pulled out the game Pin the Tail on the Donkey, I was not interested. Yesterday I saw people swinging at a piñata on TV show. It was at the moment that I had a flash-back to the party and I realized why I didn't want to play: I was too embarrassed. Seriously? Yes! Crippled by a piñata! I called my friend yesterday to share this story with her.
• Am I being judged because I'm so large? I witnessed a woman at the airport being mistreated by airline staff and it was clear they were judging her because of her size. As I listened to her tell her daughter the story, I wondered how many times I was treated poorly when I was obese. One never keeps track of such things, but I'm sure it happened and I pushed the memory somewhere deep inside.
• Will I be able to keep up with the person I'm walking with? One of the women I work with recently reminded me when we used to walk across campus I needed to stop and catch my breath several times. I had no memory of such pauses on our walks. I do recall being mad that people walk so fast and silently wondering "what's their hurry?"

This is what I meant when I said "I was dying a slow spiritual death of silent humiliations." I wasn't trying to be dramatic. (Well, okay, it did make for a good lead into this story.) The truth is I wasn't conscious of these events when they happened. I'm happy I no longer have to think about these kinds of issues. There are many more issues I've discovered along the way that I'm happy to leave behind. A big one: when I'm boarding a plane, entering a movie theater, or walking into a classroom, I no longer wonder "will I fit into the seat?"

When I began this weight loss journey, I had no idea if this program would work for me. I had heard success stories, but all weight loss program have those. Sitting in Julie's class that first night, with 23 strangers, I had no idea that night my life would change.

As days and weeks passed, I was intrigued by what was happening to me. As months passed, and people began to ask for details of my diet, I went silent. This was a different kind of silence than the painful one I just wrote about. This silence was a positive one. I couldn't explain how this program was working or why I no longer craved the foods I had been eating that had brought me to a size 30/32. I didn't want to talk about it because it felt too personal. I told people "If I look different in a year from now, ask me what I did."

Today, wearing my size 18 jeans, I'm not silent about the program, but I don't give a lot of details unless someone really pushes. Most people don't really want the details. I tell them it's similar to Atkins. Any more details and I find myself having to defend what I'm doing. Everyone has an opinion about nutrition, what and how we should be eating. What I know today, is that the way I'm eating energizes me in ways I only dreamed of two years ago. The way I'm eating today agrees with my body. I don't need to defend that.

A year after I started this program I blogged about some of the changes weight loss brought to my life (A Year of Change, 01/25/12). There were many changes during that year and one of them was I no longer needed to promise myself "tomorrow I will start a diet." A year later, I used photos instead of word to share my progress (Two Year Progress, 01/25/12). Before and after volumes speak volumes.

Yes, in one night, my life changed. My journey isn't over yet. I have more sizes to drop and then maintenance to learn. I'm sure to encounter more "ah-ha" moments about my past life as an obese woman. This too is part of the journey. A very personal journey at that. But here I am, writing details on a web blog that (two years ago) I wouldn't share with myself or my close friends.

February 09, 2013

This inspiring article about how to get unstuck and start getting traction again is from the blog post of Michale Hyatt. After reading this, share what kind of barriers you're knocking down these days.

Photo courtesy of ©iStockphoto.com/RainervonBrandis

I often meet people who are stuck in one area of their life or another. They want a break-through, but they can’t seem to get traction.

Contrary to what they think, it’s not about having:

• More money;
• More time;
• The right contacts; or
• Better luck.

Instead, it almost always is about overcoming an invisible barrier that exists in their own head.

The barrier isn’t something external. It’s something internal—something they have created in their own mind.

Years ago, I heard a speaker talk about a research project conducted by a marine biologist. It seems he put a barracuda in a large tank. He then released smaller, bait fish into the same tank. As expected, the barracuda attacked and ate the smaller fish.

Then the researcher inserted a piece of glass into the tank, creating two separate chambers. He put the barracuda into one and new bait fish into the second. The barracuda immediately attacked.

This time, however, he hit the glass and bounced off. Undaunted, the barracuda kept repeating this behavior every few minutes. Meanwhile, the bait fish swam unharmed in the second chamber. Eventually, the barracuda gave up.

The biologist repeated this experiment several times over the next few days. Each time, the barracuda got less aggressive, until eventually he got tired of hitting the glass and stopped striking altogether.

Then the researcher removed the glass. The barracuda, now trained to believe a barrier existed between him and the bait fish, didn’t attack. The bait fish swam unassailed, wherever they wished.

Too often, we are like the barracuda. The barrier isn’t “out there.” It only exists inside our heads.

Think how many other barriers have turned out to be only mental obstacles:

• The sound barrier. Pilots didn’t think it was possible to fly faster than 768 miles an hour (the speed of sound at sea level). Then Chuck Yeager officially broke the sound barrier on October 14, 1947.
• The four-minute mile. Runners didn’t think it was possible to run a mile in less than four minutes. Then, in 1954, Roger Bannister ran it in 3:59.4.
• The two-hour marathon. Endurance athletes didn’t think it was possible to run a marathon in less than two hours. Now several athletes are on the verge of breaking Geoffrey Mutai’s world-record of 2:03.02.

The reason why most of us don’t accomplish more is because we set our goals inside our mental barriers, where it’s safe. (That’s why it’s called “the comfort zone.”)

But if you want to get unstuck and start getting traction again, you have to set your goals on the other side of the barrier. You don’t have to get crazy, but you do have to stretch yourself and push past the invisible barrier in your head.

This is the secret to achieving break-through results.

----- end of Michael Hyatt post ----

February 08, 2013