Roasted cauliflower? A whole head of cauliflower? This recipe has you slathering cauliflower in a spicy yogurt marinade and roasting it at a high temperature. The result is an amazingly delicious dish that’s as dramatic in presentation as it is easy in preparation.

Spicy Whole Roasted Cauliflower

Ingredients

• 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
• 1 head cauliflower
• 1½ cups plain Greek yogurt
• 1 lime, zested and juiced
• 2 tablespoons chile powder
• 1 tablespoon cumin
• 1 tablespoon garlic powder
• 1 teaspoon curry powder
• 2 teaspoons kosher salt
• 1 teaspoon black pepper

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 400° and lightly grease a small baking sheet with vegetable oil. Set aside.
2. Trim the base of the cauliflower to remove any green leaves and the woody stem.
3. In a medium bowl, combine the yogurt with the lime zest and juice, chile powder, cumin, garlic powder, curry powder, salt and pepper.
4. Dunk the cauliflower into the bowl and use a brush or your hands to smear the marinade evenly over its surface. (Excess marinade can be stored in the refrigerator in an airtight container for up to three days and used with meat, fish or other veggies.)
5. Place the cauliflower on the prepared baking sheet and roast until the surface is dry and lightly browned, 30 to 40 minutes. The marinade will make a crust on the surface of the cauliflower.
6. Let the cauliflower cool for 10 minutes before cutting it into wedges and serving alongside a big green salad.

October 02, 2014

Pistou is an olive oil—based basil sauce from the south of France that closely resembles Ligurian pesto. Like its Italian twin, pistou can also be served as an accompaniment to grilled meats, poultry, fish and vegetables. I searched online for other ideas on what to do with pistou and discovered you can add it to soups; I included those instructions and a recipe for Pistou Meatball soup.

Photo © Quentin Bacon.

Pistou

There's only one way to make true pistou—by hand. Tear the basil leaves into pieces first, then grind the leaves against the side of a mortar with a pestle to puree them into a silky, creamy sauce. 

Ingredients

• 1 tablespoon crushed garlic 
• 1 teaspoon kosher salt 
•  4 1/2 cups basil leaves, torn into pieces (2 ounces) 
• 1/4 cup coarsely grated plum tomatoes 
• 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil 
• 1 cup finely grated Mimolette or slightly aged Gouda (3 ounce)

Instructions

1. In a large mortar, pound the garlic with the salt to a paste. 
2. Add the basil by the handful and grind the leaves against the side of the mortar until almost smooth. 
3. Stir in the tomatoes, then gradually stir in the olive oil until it's incorporated. 
4. Stir in the cheese and refrigerate until ready to serve. 

Above recipe and photo source: Food and Wine

Add Pistou to Soup

1. Make the pistou first and let it sit around for a while, enhancing. 
2. Put the finished soup in bowls and then add a dollop of pistou to it just before serving, releasing a fragrant aroma of basil and garlic. 
3. Or just add the pistou to the pot after the soup has finished cooking and be done with it. 

Pistou Soup with Meatballs

Pistou Meatball Soup
 
Ingredients

• 1 cup of basil leaves
• 6 garlic cloves
• Olive oil
• 2 tbsp grated parmesan
• 1 lb ground meat
• 1/2 cup bread crumbs
• 2 eggs
• Salt and pepper
• 1 large leek, thinly sliced
• 2 carrots, diced
• 4 garlic cloves, minced
• 2 tbsp olive oil
• 4 tomatoes, diced
• 2 tbsp tomato paste
• 1 bay leaf
• 3 quarts water
• 3 small zucchini, halved lengthwise and sliced
• 3/4 lb Romano green beans, cut into 1/2 inch pieces

Instructions

In the food processor or blender or mortar and pestle, make a thick paste with the basil leaves, garlic and olive oil. Add the Parmesan cheese and set aside.

Form small meatballs with the ground beef, bread crumbs, eggs, salt and pepper. Set aside.

Saute the leek, garlic cloves and carrots in the olive oil until the leek slices are wilted. Add the tomatoes and cook for about 5 minutes. Add tomato paste, bay leaf, water, bring to a boil and simmer for 30 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. Add the meatballs and continue to simmer for about 20 minutes. Finally, add the white beans, zucchini, and green beans, cooking until the green beans are crisp tender.

Either add the pistou directly to the cooked soup or add a dollop to each bowl. Serve with shaved Parmesan.

Above recipe and photo source: Cooking in Sens. I modified this recipe to be key-friendly.

September 30, 2014

Meet Kathleen. She's been following the Key Hypnosis Program for three months and she's had great success. Join Kathleen as she reflects back on her journey.

July 2013 vs July 2014

Kathleen

Three months ago today at this time I was one in a group of people being ushered in to begin our first session with Julie. I was hopeful that my life might change for the better, but I was a tad anxious that this too might not work.

I wish I could go back in time and reassure that version of myself. I'd tell her "your life won't just change for the better....YOU and your life will be forever shaped (literally and figuratively!) by what will transpire in this room."

Three months of no sugars; no grains, no fruits, no carbs, and most amazingly - no cravings.

Three months and I'm down three sizes and my current size is loose.

Equal to being pleased with the changes in my appearance is the change in how I feel: I feel more energized, more fit/spry, healthier.

I think my body is starting to trust me...is finally forgiving me for hurting it. 

Trust me folks....anyone questioning or struggling....if I can do this, you can too!

Eye on the prize!

September 20, 2014

I met Barb when she first started the Key Hypnosis program. It's a year later and she has transformed from a size 24 to a size 12. Her weight loss journey has been inspiring for me to witness and I'm honored to share some of Barb's weight loss journey wisdom and photos.

July 2013 vs July 2014

 Lean in, as Barb shares what she's learned about handling special occasions:

When I started this program a little over a year ago, I thought I'd be done by now. I'm not, but I'm still going!

I also thought that once I reached my goal size, I would go through cycling [maintenance], and then I would eat out of the river on "special" occasions.

Sounds good right? 

Well in the past year, I've had lots of special occasions that I thought I should be able to eat off program! Holidays, birthdays, picnics, weddings, showers, parties, and the Big E. These special occasions, which only occur once a year or once in a lifetime, were the times I really wanted to go off program.

If I think about it, these special occasions happen almost every week!

I'm coming to the realization that even when I'm on maintenance, I'm not going to be able to eat sugar or carbs at every special occasion!

I think there are two things I need to start wrapping my brain around: 1) not every activity is a special occasions that needs to be celebrated with food, and 2) special occasions can be celebrated without food, even once I'm on maintenance.

Barb started in a size 24.

Barb is now a size 12.

Congratulations Barb on your incredible transformation and thank you for sharing with us!

Your statement "when I started this program a little over a year ago, I thought I'd be done by now" really resonated with me. I started a few sizes larger than you and I figured it would take me two years to reach my goal. It's been three and a half years for me and I'm not there yet either. I'm still going too! 

We're doing this program once and then we're done. We'll learn to cycle through maintenance and then live the rest of our lives at our goal size.

I'm going to pause right now and do the happy dance for the both of us!

Thanks for helping us to redefine special occasions! If I gave in on every special occasion along the way, I would have gone off this program so many times that I'd never be able to get back on.

September 19, 2014

Exercise helps you to lose weight. Exercise is good for your health. Blah, blah, blah. We know all this, but many of us struggle to start exercising or to continue with our exercise goals. What if you didn't need to decide every day should I exercise, but instead you just do it because you made the commitment? What if you no longer had to debate with yourself every day about doing it or not doing it? End the debate. It's exhausting and doesn't make you feel good, especially if you decide not to exercise. Make the decision once and then do it every day (or at whatever frequency you chose).

I could not walk this reservoir in a size 30/32. Today I walk here 4-5 days a week.

I took this photo on my morning walk, which I get to do weekdays, yes at 6am, with my friend. When I was a size 30/32, this walk, that I loved, was something I had to give up because I couldn't walk the 4 miles around the reservoir. I couldn't even do part of this trail because of the steep hills at the entrances, because I was afraid of falling down, and because I could hardly breathe going uphill. When I added exercise to my life again, this was the first place I went to walk/run. At first, I couldn't cover the whole circle, but I kept at it and eventually I could. This was a big non-scale victory.

Robin had questions about exercise and how to get motivated to exercise:

It seems every one here is walking or working out. How do you do Zumba? I can't seem to get the steps to fast! How do you all do it? How do you get yourself moving? Motivated? Please help me!

You ask great questions and I'll respond to them, but first there are a couple observations I want to make and I have a couple of questions for you...

It sounds like you're in a panic about your weight loss journey, so I encourage you to:

• Stop right now and take a deep breath.
• Take a long breath in and slowly exhale. 
• Repeat three more times.

Are you measuring your success with the success of others? I've been guilty of this from time to time and I know I'm not alone in thinking this way. This kind of thinking brings on self-doubt, which is not a good place to be, but here we are just the same.

The choice is ours: stay in self-doubt and allow those feelings to bring our weight loss journey to a halt or push past those feelings and continue our journey. We get to choose: move forward or move backwards, reach our goal and live our lives to the fullest or quit and live our lives wishing we could do this.

Part of the journey for many of us is to experience this self-doubt, to question why others are losing faster than we are, and to ask ourselves why we aren't losing as fast as others. When we're in this questioning stage, we're at a turning point on our journey, one which we may encounter many times along the way, when we stop and ask ourselves the question "why aren't I losing as fast as others?"

Behind the curtain, the real question we may be asking is "can I continue to do this?" or "should I continue?" or "is this sustainable?" Perhaps what's really going on inside is that we are having doubts about reaching our goal size. At this point, we're often close to another drop in size and if we can get beyond this point we will feel incredible when it passes and we're no longer questioning ourselves.

This is the point where we need to stay the course the most, to push away those feelings of self-doubt. This is the moment to reflect back on this same kind of moment when we didn't stay the course and how we regretted it later.

This is also the moment to also reflect on the moments like this that we pushed ourselves through the moment and how great it felt when we did.

Don't make this one of those moments of regret. Make this one of the many moments you can look back on with pride at how you pushed yourself through this moment. All these moments are what add up to your success and the propel you to goal size. Stay the course.

Weight loss is not the same for all of us, as there are many variables in each of our lives. Some start heavier than others. Some are older. Some have carried their extra weight for a longer time than others. The bottom line is that time doesn't matter. Do you best every day to stay the course and you will reach your goal. If someone told me it would take more than three years for me to reach my goal size, I don't know that I could have done this program. What I do know today, is that it doesn't matter how long it takes and that I feel good every day I choose to stay the course.

Motivation to exercise comes when you decide it's time for you to get moving. I remember at a refresher Julie told the woman sitting next to me "if you don't exercise, it's going to take you a really long time to get to your goal size." It was nine months later before I would take those words seriously and started to exercise.

For me, exercise first took shape when I downloaded the couch-2-5k app. I was going to a conference and I decided ahead of time I would use the treadmill each morning of the conference. In fact, I was on my way to the airport and I had driven about a mile away from my house when I realized I had not packed my exercise clothes and I turned around to go get them. At the airport, I told my co-worker I would be joining her in the gym each morning. I made the decision and then took steps to see my commitment through. The first morning of the conference, I went to the gym at 5am, I stepped on the treadmill next to my co-worker, and I turned on the c25k app and did my first workout.

I quickly realized I needed a goal to keep me inspired, so after returning home I registered for a 5k. There was just enough time for me to finish my c25k training before the race day. What helped me was that I solicited a friend to train and to run the race with me, but there were many times that I had to run by myself.

You asked about Zumba - Zumba is a blast! However, every time I went I felt that everyone else was doing so much better. I couldn't bend or move like they did. In other words, I was judging myself and I was in my own way. Once I got out of my own way, once I stopped comparing myself to everyone else in the room, I was able to enjoy myself. I haven't been back to Zumba, but it's not off the list of possibilities, it just doesn't fit into my priorities at the moment.

Right now my focus is walking 10,000-15,000 steps a day and to train for a 5k race in Dec. I made the decision to do this race once and now I'm following through by taking the steps (training) to reach my goal. There is no debate on "should I" because I'm committed.

In the end, it is only you who can motivate yourself to see your exercise goals through. Apps are helpful tools and having a walking or running buddy is wonderful, but it is on each of us to do this for ourselves, with our without friends or apps.

Make the decision what you want to do for exercise. Make the decision once and then take action each day to stay the course. If you take on too much, adjust the plan. This isn't failing, this is learning what's possible for you right now. Adjust your plan as you need, but don't get into the debate about exercising or not exercising. Choose once and then stay the course.

Hmm, this is sort of like what we do with this program right? We choose to follow this program and there's no further debate. Take the debate out the equation for staying the course on this program and with your exercise plan.

breathe commitment exercise goal size moments motivated motivation non-scale victory regret self-doubt stay the course sustainable weight loss weight loss journey Zumba

September 18, 2014

After six weeks of feeling like I was having a bad hair day every single day, I decided to get a short haircut. Wow! Talk about change! This has been more shocking to me than anything I've done in a while. Every time I see my reflection in a mirror or in a store window I wonder: who is that woman looking back at me?

Before and After

A few days later, I'm still answering this question.

After I got my hair cut on Thursday, I went to Talbots looking for new clothes. They had a great sale and I left with three items: a classic long-sleeved white blouse (size 14), a grey pencil skirt (size 12), and a pair of navy blue shorts (size 14). I tried on all kinds of styles, attempting to find a new look to go with my new hair cut. Of course, all I could see when I looked in the mirror: my hips, oh my hips!

Hello? This skirt is a size 12! Hush little mean girl, hush!

Size 12 pencil skirt from Talbots.

I've been shopping several times in the past few weeks and most of the time I left the store frustrated and empty-handed. A couple times I took home a few items, only to return them the next day. I'm happy to say I didn't return any of the Talbot clothing!

I need to find a couple outfits for job interviews, so I asked my sister-in-law to go shopping for clothes with me yesterday. Determined to find clothes that fit me, I tried on 12's, 14's, 16's, large, and XL. I found items in all these sizes that fit and I had to narrow down which items to buy and which ones to pass on.

Wait - what? Yes, I had choices of what items to buy! I don't know when the last time I went shopping and had choices like this!

I left the store with two interview-appropriate outfits, two dresses, and two casual tops. I passed on the skirt and jacket in this photo, because it's really all about spring and summer and my focus was on 1) interview appropriate and 2) fall and winter. The shorts from Talbots was my last summer splurge ($10), because it's really time to say good-bye to summer clothes.

Change is here: new haircut, new clothing size and styles, new career opportunities, and a new outlook on life.

Who is that woman looking back at me in the mirror?  Oh, it's me!

Change is here: August 2014 vs September 2014

September 15, 2014

You may want to lean in for some sage advice that helped these Key friends reach and maintain their goal size. The focus of this discussion is "Can I eat anything I want after maintenance?" The answer is the same if you're on maintenance or if you're in the weight loss phase of the program: eat when you're hungry - don't eat when you're not.

Both Chris and Jennifer on are on maintenance.

Chris

Can I eat "anything I want after maintenance?" I thought about this concept a few days ago. I realized that through the years I had lost the ability to eat correctly. As a baby, I only ate when I was hungry and I stopped when I was full. And I was full of determination when they tried to make me eat anything I didn't like. Growing up I always thought my mom was being mean when she wouldn't let us have snacks or soda all the time; she really was just being a good mom. For all my adult years I made up for that, eating what and when I wanted; using food mostly to stuff my feelings rather than nourish my body. The end result being a serious weight problem.

I see this program as a second chance to get back to that "baby" stage: eating when I'm truly hungry and stopping when I've had enough. Going back to using food as a "need," not a "want." Being a food addict, this was not an easy task. Throughout the years I really did try my hardest on each diet I set out on. The only success I've had is through Julie's program.

While there are many important aspects to this program, for me, eating when I'm hungry and not when I'm not, is the most important. When I can do this on a daily basis, I know I'm using food as it was intended. Then and only then, can I enjoy the occasional "want" food. I will never not be a food addict as food is my drug of choice. 

Chris before Key vs Summer 2013

Eva

Eating when I am hungry and not when I'm not is the most elusive and difficult part of this for me, because I think I really never learned to be connected enough to the internal sensation of my body, rather than what others thought it should look like. So that is the huge learning task, coming very late in life for me.

There have been some long periods while on this program where I ate only when I was truly hungry and I wasn't interested in food the rest of the time. But for the past six months or so, I have been eating much more than I should be as the result of any true physical hunger and it makes me unhappy.

But that truly is the most important part of it for me and I'm very grateful to receive this reminder from Chris, that I need to commit myself more deeply to that exploration, to my meditation practice which puts me in touch with my body and helps me to quiet enough in order to hear what it is saying to me.

Because I don't eat foods off the program I don't gain weight, or if I do it is very slight and then I take it off, and I'm not jerking my blood sugar around, so I feel much better than I used to, but I just don't want to end up feeling like I'm being hijacked by food, and that it is occupying so much of my consciousness.

Mediation is important for me, because if I'm not taking care of the level of arousal in my mind and body, then the thoughts and emotions get too loud and drown out the more subtle signals my body is trying to send me.

Jennifer 

I answered this question a long time ago when a key friend sought me out for advice. We spent time going back and forth discussing things. I was farther ahead on my journey than she was and at one point she asked me "will I ever eat 'normal' again?" My answer to that question turned into a blog post (Will I ever Eat Like a "Thin Person")...almost a year ago...and my answer still is the same...

I've come too far to let food take over again. I would rather say "no" to something and stand tall then to put my poor body through more shame, grief, frustration, sadness, suffering..all adjectives that I no longer want to put myself through. My life of eating whatever whenever is over. I eat like a "sane" person now - or this is my interpretation of a "sane" person and how they eat - those that have kept their weight in check and have never had a problem with cravings or food talking to them.

Am I perfect in my thoughts every day? Am I nice to my soul every day? No. Have I excluded negative talk more and more? Most certainly. I have many many days where I no longer think about eating, or what I am going to eat. I pack healthy meals for work, I don't give in to any of the shit there, most everyone in my life has stopped saying "Oh just this once, just have a piece.....it won't hurt you." My family has long ago figured out that I am still here, not starving myself, not doing some crazy fad diet (again), but really really working on being healthy.

I know my trigger foods, I will continue to work around them. I don't want them. I want to not want them. They aren't worth it. I enjoy what I can have. I honor my body and I love feeling "crave-free." This was a gift given to me by Julie. I walked into her place knowing I would forever be changed. I like who I changed into! I don't ever want to take advantage of this place that I am in, or what she did for me, or what I am doing for myself now.

"Can I eat anything I want after maintenance??"

No.

And I will forever be grateful to being able to answer that question that way.

Jennifer 2010 vs 2014

September 09, 2014

Two summers ago I met four women who were following Julie's Key Hypnosis weight loss program. It's been incredible witnessing the transformation of these key friends. Join me as I take a stroll down memory lane and then look at the five of us today.

July 2012: Theresa, Jennifer, Linda, Jill, Sandy

When we first met, we were in different stages on our weight loss path. I was a year and a half into my journey, Jennifer and Linda were about one year in, Sandy was three months into her journey, and Jill had just finished her third session. Regardless of where we were on our path, we were all equally excited to connect with one another, to share our key weight loss stories, and to encourage and support one another in reaching our goal sizes.

I'm proud of each of these women. They stayed the course, lost a ton of weight, and changed their lives. It has been an honor for me to travel on this weight loss journey and to transform along with them. We have changed a lot of things in our lives. We've changed the way we interact with food: we eat to live instead of living to eat. We've divorced sugar and all it's relatives. Some of us have even broken up with cheese. We're engaged in physical activities that we didn't dream possible two or three years ago. Simple activities like walking and hiking. Some of us discovered we enjoy jogging, swimming, and kayaking.

Here's where we are today...

August 2014
Theresa started at size 30/32 and is currently size 12-16.

September 2014
Jennifer started at size 18/20 and is maintaining her goal size 6.

September 2014
Linda started at size 26/28 and currently size 12.

January 2014
Jill started at 18/20 and is maintaining her goal size 6.

August 2014
Sandy started at size 18 and is maintaining her goal size 6.

September 08, 2014

Potato Salad? Yes - this mock potato salad was served at a gathering with a small group of key friends last night and it was outstanding. It's made just like any basic potato salad, but with cauliflower instead of potato. All the food served at this potluck was incredible, but if I had to choose only one food item from last that I could have again today, with meat of course, this potato salad is what I'd choose.

Mock Potato Salad. Photo by Theresa

About eight of us gathered for this potluck and I wish I had taken photos of the table full of food before we dove it, but you know how it is when you're hungry - you just dive in. And, with all the food being key-friendly, who could pause for a photo?

March 24, 2015 update: I finally made this potato salad! It was easy, delicious, and this time around I took a photo. Next time I make this, I'll cut it in half, as it was a whole lot of potato salad for a person living alone.

Salad Ingredients

• 2 16 oz. bags of frozen cauliflower
• 1 cup chopped red onion
• 1 cup chopped celery 
• 1/2 cup chopped red pepper 
• 1/2 cup chopped green pepper 
• 4 chopped green onion stalks 
• 4 chopped baby dill pickles 
• 4 hard-boiled eggs peeled and chopped 

Dressing Ingredients
Note: you will make the dressing and add it to the salad last

• 2 cups mayo
• 2 Tbsp. white vinegar 
• 2 Tbsp. mustard 
• 2 tsp. salt
• 1 tsp. pepper

Instructions

1. Cook and prepare cauliflower according to directions on the bag.
2. Chop cauliflower into bite size pieces and place in bowl. 
3. Add all ingredients except the dressing to the bowl. 
4. Mix dressing together and then add it to the salad. 
5. Add paprika before serving if desired.

We like to goof around at our gathering.

Here's a better shot!

Taking group photos.

September 02, 2014

Do you remember the metaphor Julie uses about the dog and the broom? Last week I had an experience that helped me understand what Julie's analogy means, only my experience was with my cat Ginger instead of a dog. For those who don't remember the dog and the broom story, I'll refresh your memory.

The Kitty and the Broom. Photo by Theresa

The Dog and the Broom

A man has a dog and the dog does whatever the man commands him to do, because if the dog doesn’t obey the man he is beaten with a broom. The dog often cowers and this makes the man angrier, so he beats the dog with the broom even more. The dog doesn’t trust the man, but the dog is chained and he cannot escape.

One day the dog sees an opportunity to escape and he takes it and runs away. After running as far and as fast as he can, the dog is found by a kind and loving man who adopts him. There’s an instant bond of love and respect between the dog and this new guy. The guy takes the dog on long walks twice a day and this makes the dog willing to do anything for the guy.

One day the guy knocks over a plant in his living room and he grabs a broom from a closet to clean up the dirt. The dog sees the broom and, full of fear and shame, he immediately cowers.

The broom in this story represents the scale. Our bodies react to the scale in the same way the dog responds to the broom: our body becomes full of fear and shame and no longer trusts us.

The Kitty and the Broom

Last week, I had my kitty Ginger on my shoulder and I quickly stepped into the kitchen to grab my phone. I should have known better, as she gets skittish if I carry her near the basement door. My instinct to hold her even tighter only made things worse. After getting badly scratched, I finally put her down.

It was in that moment that I understood the broom and the dog story in a way I had not before. I always suspected Ginger had a trauma before I took her home from an animal rescue. I'll never know what happened, but her body has never forgotten it, because she gets skittish if she feels vulnerable.

Ginger's body won't forget her pain, just as the dog won't forget his. Our bodies will not forget the pain we've inflicted all those years by overeating.

A big part of our weight loss journey is teaching our bodies to trust us again and that we will no longer harm it. This is where Julie comes in. Julie negotiates with our bodies to trust us. Each time we go off program, our body stops trusting us. Every time we follow the program rules, even if they don't make logical sense to us, our bodies learn we can be trusted.

Why is it so important that our bodies trust us? If our bodies don't trust us, it feels fear and it holds onto our weight. Trust is essential. Here's an example of something I did a few days earlier, which broke the trust with my body...

I overate. This was something I hadn't done for a long time. Everything I ate was on program, but one of our agreements with Julie is to stop eating when we're full. I ate an entire pot of beef chili. I was full after the first bowl, but I kept eating until the pot was empty. I had forgotten what it felt like to overeat. It felt horrible and my stomach still hurt three hours later. Getting to sleep that night with a belly ache was difficult.

The next morning I wondered what caused me to overeat like that. I didn't have any vodka, so it wasn't because I drank too much. Did I overeat because of stress? Did I let myself get too hungry? I still don't know the reason, but what I do know is that I have some work to do to prove to my body I can be trusted again.

What kind of "work" do I have to do? Eat clean. Follow the rules. Exercise.

You know what to do if this happens to you: stay the course. Forgive yourself and move on.

broom story negotiate with your body the dog and the broom the scale trust your body

September 01, 2014

Do ever have one of those days when you have a plan to walk or do some form of exercise, but you talk yourself out of it? In these kind of moments, we have a choice: to feel good or to feel lousy. What's to debate? Why would we chose the later? Push through your resistance and do it anyway. Choose to feel good!

Selfie in my car.

Yesterday was one of those kind of days for me. Yesterday I chose not to exercise and for the whole day I felt crummy. When I got up in the morning, I decided not to walk as I had planned to do at 6:30, but I promised myself I'd walk later in the morning. The next thing I knew, my morning was over. I promised myself that I would walk later in the afternoon.

At dinner time I told myself "Okay, for sure, I'll walk right after dinner."

I don't know what the weather was like for you last night, but where I live it was as if a tropical storm had blown in. The storm ended early enough for me to walk before dark, but I didn't. I went to bed feeling lousy.

This morning started off like yesterday. I had walking plans, but as soon as I got out of bed, I started looking for reasons to get out of walking. Weather? No, it's gorgeous outside, so this excuse wasn't going to work today. As I walked down the stairs for my morning coffee, my ankle hurt a little. Yes, here's a valid excuse not walk today. I'm off the hook another day.

Really? "Off the hook" Who are you and what did you do with Theresa who loves to walk? No, I was not off the hook, because yesterday I had set myself up for success when I made an appointment to drop my car at the shop: I told them I wouldn't need a ride, because I was going to walk home.

Early this morning I put on my sandals, instead of my sneakers, and drove to the car shop. At the shop, they asked me a few questions and then said they'd see me later. 

Oh. They think I'm going to walk home.

Oh. I can't ask for a ride now.

Just because I set myself up for success doesn't mean I didn't have some resistance to my plan. Resistance or not, I had to walk home. I just didn't have it in me to say I had changed my mind and ask for a ride.

Despite my lack of enthusiasm at the car shop, I enjoyed the two mile walk home. Despite the fact that I wore my sandals, my ankle didn't hurt at all. You see, I set myself up for success in that way too - I chose sandals that I can walk in for miles.

On some level, I really wanted to do this walk. I mean who doesn't want to choose feeling good over feeling lousy? I just had to get out of my own way and just do it.

When I walk back to the shop, I know I won't have any resistance, because each time I choose to walk, I feel great and I want to do it more. The same applies when I make excuses not to walk - I then find myself on a path that supports feeling lousy.

I choose to feel good. Next time I am resistant to sticking with my exercise goals, I'm going to push myself to do it anyway and to remember how good I always feel later. I'm using the same tactic I use to push away food cravings: pushing away thoughts of resistance that prevent me from exercising. Tap, tap, tap.

What about you? Do you have tactics that you use to support you choosing to exercise?

08/29/14 Update: Yesterday I really did do it - I walked 25,477 steps! I didn't plan to walk that much, but by the end of the day I put in 11.19 miles. And - I wasn't sore yesterday or this morning! This is what I love about my FitBit - I get badges when I reach milestones!

August 28, 2014

Once in a while perfection happens and when it does - for a brief moment - all is well in the universe. I had such a moment today while eating a warm hard-boiled egg. After taking a second bite of my egg, I realized I was holding the most perfect hard-boiled egg I've ever cooked. I've had moments like this on my key weight loss journey. I suspect you have too.

Perfection comes in mysterious ways, even in hard-boiled egg. Photo by Theresa

Yesterday was a perfect day. I didn't plan for a perfect day, but as my day unfolded, I accomplished the small goals I set out for myself and there was even room for spontaneity. Looking back, I contribute my "success" to keeping things simple. I stayed out of overwhelm, which is easy as long as I refrain from multitasking, and I stayed focused on my goals for the day. Oh, and I stayed on program: I ate clean and I exercised!

Perfection? Yes! Does this happen every day? No.

Two days ago I didn't meet my daily goal of  walking 10,000 steps. I had good intentions, but I didn't see them through, so I fell short. Perfection? No, but I am still moving toward my goal size because I continue to choose to exercise. I let go of my perfection expectations and I accept that some days I'm not going to meet my daily walking goal.

The spontaneous event that happened yesterday: I said yes to an opportunity to walk just ten minutes after getting home from walking with a key-friend. Consequently I walked over 17,000 steps yesterday. I wasn't making up for the day before, I walked extra steps because of a spontaneous invite and because it was fun.

Perfectionism is not in the equation when it comes to food. Life is imperfect, but I get to choose what foods I eat. When I choose to ignore the rules, such as cheese is a condiment or that there are limits with yogurt, I am making a choice to postpone reaching my goal size.

The key weight loss program is about lifestyle changes, it's not about perfection. When we fall short of our program goals, we have the choice to keep moving forward or not.

Let go of perfection. Let go of mistakes and stay the course. Live your best life by choosing to:

• stay on program
• exercise
• learn maintenance

August 26, 2014

A key friend asked this question today: which is harder: losing or maintaining? Hard is what I felt about going to college at age 37, but I did it anyway. In a cartoon class I took a few years ago, I looked around at how well others were drawing and I said to myself "this is really hard," but I did it anyway. In following this program, hard should not be a part of the equation.

Cartoon by Theresa

It may be hard to get back into the river, but if we don't get go off program this isn't an issue - so stay in the river! Take out the hard part of your equation and stay on program.  Besides, going on and off-program is not part of this program. Once and done as Julie says. Lose your weight once and be done.

When I hear myself saying how hard this program is - I know I'm in trouble. One of two things are going on when I'm thinking how hard this is: I'm in my head too much or I'm eating something off-program.

If I'm in my head too much, it means I'm not trusting my body enough. When I constantly think about what to do to stay on program, I stop and ask myself: am I eating something I shouldn't be?

About a year into this program, I discovered that sometimes I was over thinking this program and when I did this I often used the word hard. One day while talking with another key friend about how hard this is, I realized something wasn't right. This program wasn't hard before, so what's different now that it feels so hard? I decided to review what I was eating and sure enough I found I was eating something not on program. Something that I hadn't been eating before, but somehow thought I could eat. I immediately stopped eating that food and that took hard out the equation.

Just this week I discovered something that was hard for me: giving up yogurt. I'm taking it out of the equation. I loved my Siggi's, but I'm giving it up now that I understand:

Yogurt is to be eaten the same way as vegetables: always with a with big chunk of meat.

I've been eating yogurt immediately after my dinner and I can't imagine eating yogurt along with my meal, so I'm giving it up. I don't know why I didn't understand this concept sooner, but I'm telling my little mean girl to hush, what's done is done. I'm moving forward, as I can't change the past.

I'm also giving up yogurt because a part of me doesn't want to give it up. But the biggest reason I'm giving up yogurt:

If you feel you are losing slowly or on a plateau, you should not eat yogurt.

Tap, tap, tap. I'm pushing away the cravings to have this treat because my desire to reach my goal far outweighs my desire to treat myself to yogurt. Besides, yogurt isn't meant to be a treat.

Back to the question, which is harder: losing weight or maintenance, I say take the question out of the equation and find the source of what feels so hard. 

If you're obsessing or thinking about how hard weight loss or maintenance is, perhaps you need to stop and ask yourself: what's that really all about? Is it possible that what's really hard is pushing past your fears and trusting that your body knows what to do to lose weight and maintain your goal size?

Tap, tap, tap. I'm pushing away the fears of how hard maintenance might be, because on the other side of maintenance is where I want to be. Whatever I have to face to get there will be worth it.

I'm never going back to the size I was when I drew this cartoon!

Cartoon of myself when I was a size 30/32. Cartoon and photo by Theresa.

August 20, 2014

In today's post, PJ writes about the profound effect Julie's program had on how PJ sees and defines herself. Many of you reading her story will resonate with much of PJ's experience. Like many of us on this program, this time feels different for her. Her journey begins with gastric bypass surgery and ends at her goal size on maintenance with Julie's program.

2003 – Size 30/32                     2014 – Size 10

Shame Resilience

As a woman struggling with many emotional issues surrounding weight, I feel that my experience with the Key program and Julie has triggered a monumental shift in how I see myself. I have been interested in the subject of identity (who we believe we are, how we see ourselves) and the relationship between identity and feelings of shame since reading Brené Brown’s books, The Gifts of Imperfection and The Power of Vulnerability. As a doctoral student, I have written about and studied issues surrounding shame, especially in terms of developing shame resilience – how do we overcome views of ourselves which lead to feelings of shame, changing the old scripts which we play over and over when it comes to the many issues surrounding weight and eating.

After reading a post on Facebook regarding shameful feelings related to making poor choices, I wanted to share my experience and how I have come to understand my journey.

In terms of looking at issues surrounding eating, including what I eat and why, Julie had a most profound effect on me in relation to my beliefs about who I am – how I see myself and define myself. My struggle has been a long one, as most of you can relate to, but this time feels very different for me.

In 2003 I had gastric bypass surgery and went from a size 30/32 down to a 10 over the course of 18 months or so. It was a great time for me, but then bad habits crept back in and my weight started to increase after 5 years of success. I kept trying to get things under control, but nothing was working – juice fasts, high protein/low carb, intense exercise.

Finally, as I watched a friend succeed with Julie’s program, I decided to give it a try – it couldn’t be more drastic than surgery! By the summer of 2013 I had rebounded to a size 16 and was extremely fearful of not being able to stop, ending up even heavier than I was in 2003.

I am not sure exactly what happened through the hypnosis portion, but I feel like a different person with a better understanding of how my body works and a connection to my inner spirit. My personal identity (who I believe I am) shifted. The only way I can explain the difference is through the use of a picture.

2003 – Prior to Gastric Bypass Surgery (33 years old) – Size 30/32

This is a picture of me at my highest weight prior to my surgery – I was traveling through Scotland and took painkillers every day just to be able to walk to enjoy my trip. Before seeing Julie, I never would have shared this picture as I still felt like “that” person and experienced immense shame in being “her.” Now, I don’t feel like the same person and I don’t experience shame when I look at that picture. While I don’t understand exactly what shifted, I do understand how shame works and can make an educated guess.

Shame results from a negative self-evaluation about who we believe we are – our identity as an individual (as opposed to guilt which arises from a negative evaluation of a behavior – not tied to our identity).

So I would see my obese self and it would trigger all those negative self-evaluations – lazy, undisciplined, and stupid. While I understand at a cognitive level that I am none of those, these feelings would arise anyway. (Really, how can I complete a 30 day juice fast and still believe I am undisciplined?)

Brené Brown identifies specific ways to build a resilience to shame, including developing a level of critical awareness about your identities (we all have multiple identities), where they come from and how they are affecting you.

I think that through Julie’s guidance, I was able to develop a level of awareness about my identity tied to weight, which was linked to societal views of overweight people as well as my experiences in my family. The awareness, I think, comes from learning to listen to our bodies (I think of this as my inner spirit), not all of the information coming from society and our experiences with our families. Somehow I was able to let go of those external views and give my inner spirit a higher priority in defining my identity related to weight – which is now centered on healing and balance, not command and control.

Developing shame resilience can be a powerful tool in overcoming negative self-perceptions.

I have spent a lot of time reflecting and thinking about the major changes beyond what we are eating when we are in the river – letting go of the numbers (calories, nutrition information, weight), which are externally imposed upon us, and learning to listen to our bodies.

I think opening up communication between the subconscious and conscious allowed me to not only become critically aware of the external pressures regarding weight/size, but let go of them, taking their power away. I work with these ideas regularly, using meditation to reflect and develop self-compassion.

My final thought is to let go of those expectations and pressures which are harmful and causing unwarranted shame. Listen to your body and follow your energy which will guide you in healing – not just your body but your spirit as well.

PJ 

2005 – 18 Months after Surgery (PJ with her sister) – Size 10/12

2013 – 10 Years after Surgery – Size 16

2014 – 7 Months after Julie (44th Birthday) – Size 10

August 14, 2014

Losing weight has helped me overcome a number of fears. But what about looking ahead? What fears arise when I look ahead in my life and all I can see is empty space? I've been working on this piece for a few months. Over time I added and deleted stories about how losing weight has helped me overcome fears, but the piece didn't feel finished. A recent life transition has given me the final piece to this story.

Photo by Theresa

The one thing about empty spaces--their very existence seems to send a message that you are ready for something new to arrive. - Martha Johnson Why Not Do What You Love

The Ice

Last winter I was walking on ice when suddenly I realized I was walking really fast--on ice. Walking on ice was a big challenge for me when I was a size 30/32. One freezing cold January day, more than a decade ago, I stood frozen in the middle of a hill on a side road. I was literally frozen. I could not move. The road was solid ice and I was afraid to move. No--I wasn't afraid to move--I was afraid of falling. I was afraid I would fall and not be able to get up. I couldn't budge an inch. Suddenly a man appeared out of nowhere, offered me his arm, and escorted me to the other side of the road where the ground was flatter and the snow was softer. He disappeared as quickly as he appeared and I never saw him again.

It's a great feeling no longer fearing that I will fall. I don't know when this change happened, but it was a great discovery to realize I have one less fear in my life.

Long Pond, Richmond, RI.

The Hike

At the end of May a couple of friends invited me to join them on an 8 hour 7 1/2 mile hike. My only hesitation was a project deadline a few days before the hike. Not wanting to make a promise I wasn't sure I could keep, I told them that I couldn't commit until the week of the hike. Meanwhile, I asked for more details about the hike and that's when fear hit me. There was a long list of details, but the first two freaked me out:

• Waterproof hiking boots or trail shoes REQUIRED!
• You will need to be reasonably fit to enjoy this hike. That said, if you engage in a normal level of activity, you should be fine. The first mile is very strenuous however.

I'm confident that I'm in the "reasonably fit" category, but I didn't have hiking boots. I told myself, There's no need for me to freak out, I can buy waterproof hiking boots, but what do they mean by strenuous? Slippery trails? Muddy trails? Rocks? I can do this! I told myself. I am not afraid! 

It was not feat that kept me from going to this event. After learning there were no bathrooms on this all day hike, I decided this hike wasn't for me. After seeing this photo a friend took along the hike, I was even happier with my decision.

This snake is a fear I have that I can live with.

The Hill

It was a gorgeous Sunday morning. My friend and I hiked walked about a half mile from the lake house through the neighborhood to the Mohegan Quarry. At the beginning of the trail lots of tails were wagging at the dog park. A few minutes later, the trail took us over a half dozen rocks, where skunk cabbage announced we were crossing through a wetland. We never saw another person after that until we crossed back over the wetland. It was incredible walking the sunlight dappled trails all by ourselves.

I looked up at steep hill we were about to climb and I realized I was hesitating for a moment and then remembered: Oh, I can do this! Sometimes it isn't until I reflect back and realize I just did something that I used to be afraid of doing, but I'm not anymore. This was one of those times. I had to remind myself that I no longer needed to be afraid of going up a hill and that I would be just fine when the time came for me to go back down the hill.

Two hours later, at the foot of that same hill, I turned and looked back up the hill and smiled. I hadn't hesitated for one second about going down that hill. It was only when I reached the bottom that I remembered my earlier hesitation.

It was the memory my body has of such hills that made me hesitate. My body remembers how physically challenging hills used to be for me. Today I look at this photo and ask myself what hill?

The hill. Photo by Theresa

Empty Spaces

My big transition that I mentioned a few weeks ago: I was laid off from my job. I see the empty space (the transition) as an opportunity to dream big and to change my life yet again. I'm not afraid of the empty space. Yes, there are moments when this feels scary, but I tap those fears away the same way I tap (push) away urges for foods that are not on program. Successful methods that work in one area of our lives can be applies to other areas. Tap, tap, tap!

My weight loss journey has prepared me for this transition. I've changed my life in so many ways since starting this program. All those non-scale victories built a strong foundation and not having to deal with all that extra weight is a big bonus.

After more than three years on this program, my autopilot is to set to healthy eating and exercising and that's exactly what I've done through this transition. Not once did I think about meeting up with my old buddies Ben and Jerry or going on an eating binge. Instead I spend my time networking and envisioning my new life.

Seize the moment to step into the unknown and be not afraid.
Photo and quote by Theresa.

What about you? What challenges are going on in your life that your weight loss journey has helped motivated and inspire you to take on? Tap away (push away) your fears, whatever they are, and keep moving forward. You can do this - you can do this program and when your life gets interrupted, you can stay the course because you have this.

All those times that you felt it was "hard" and you pushed through the tough time and stayed the course - those moments can help you push through other challenges you have in life. Tap, tap, tap!

challenges hard hiking non-scale victory push away push away urges tap tap away the scale weight loss weight loss journey

August 12, 2014

Today is my fifth day of not meeting my daily FitBit goals and so I decided it's time for me to start pushing myself physically by committing to run a 5k. I didn't train for any of the events I did this year and consequently I walked more than I ran. I'm ready to start training to run an entire 5k. It's time for me to step up!

My 5k & 10k events from 2011 to 2014

After a race is not one's best moment for a photo, but I'm glad I had these photos taken. These photos represent more than just a moment in time. They provide a visual of my weight loss journey and they serve as visual reminder of how I felt during and after each event: I felt incredible!

There was a time when a five to ten minute walk was too much for me. So the fact that I did those last three events with no training is amazing. Just the same, I wonder if I had trained, what would my time have been and how much better I would have felt had I had pushed myself to the max. Mind you, at the time I was pushing myself as hard as I could, but if I had trained...

I'm not beating myself up here. My average time to finish a 5k has been around 45 minutes, which is far greater than the mere few minutes I used to be able walk. I want to find out what my peak performance is by running an entire 5k.

I'll go online next week and find an event that is far enough out to give me time to run through the full 9 week Couch to 5k program and I'll find a friend to run the 5k with me. I know myself well enough to know I do better when I run with a friend. My biggest reason for not getting in my daily FitBit goal is because my walking buddy is out of town. This is not a good reason, but I'm just telling it like it is.

The good news is that my walking buddy is back next week, so no more excuses. The other good news is that I plan to do my four mile morning walk with my friend (five days a week) and run three days a week. This is stepping up!

What about you? Are you ready to step up your fitness program? You don't have to run a 5k, but you do need to exercise to help your weight loss progress and to allow yourself to be as healthy as you can!

So come on - step up!

August 08, 2014

I've asked myself this question many times since I started this weight loss program: what's your rush? The simple truth is: I'm not a fast loser. I've set weight loss goals for myself, but I've come to realize a timeline that I create does not work on this program. Besides, this isn't a race, so what's the rush?

What's your rush - this isn't a race!

I want to be at my goal size, but I'm not there yet. I accept where I am today, a size 14/16, which is far from the size 30/32 that I was three and a half years ago. What slows down my weight loss? Plateaus. Plateaus are part of the weight loss journey, as this is the body's way of healing.

When I experience a plateau, I take time to pause and review the foods I'm eating, to check in with myself and see if there are foods I need to eliminate. I may have "gotten away" with eating high fat foods or  too much cheese when I was a size 30/32, but I didn't really get away with anything. Instead, I slowed down my weight loss and often put myself on a plateau. When I eliminate foods that I was eating too much of or too often, or OMG foods are inappropriate, my weight starts dropping again. Yes, there have been a few times that I discovered I was eating foods that are not on program. For example, I was eating dried green beans for a whole summer only to be reminded "no dried foods."

What about you? Is it possible you're eating foods that are not on program? I encourage you to take an honest look at what you're eating. Two easy targets: cheese and fats, but there are a few other areas to review.

Are you treating cheese like a condiment? If not, your body will hold onto the weight no matter what else you do. Many of us take time off from eating cheese. Consider not having cheese for a month. Does this idea freak you out? All the more reason to do this. If someone said, don't use parsley for a month, would you freak out? It's a condiment. We can live without condiments, including cheese.

Are you mindful of how much fat you eat? Here's what's important to understand about fat:

• If you take in too much fat, the body stores it, which is something you do not want to happen.
• When you eat protein, it takes an equal amount of fat from the body (yeah). 
• If you aren't consuming much fat, the body takes the fat from fat it previous stored, which will result in weight loss (yeah). 
• Consume too much fat and you quickly deplete the protein deposits you made and the new fat will then be stored as fat on the body (oh no).

Think about giving up or cutting back on cheese and fat as preparation for maintenance - when we will add new foods and then take them away as we learn to cycle in and out of the weight loss mode and into maintenance, weight loss, maintenance, repeat, repeat, repeat, until our bodies gets that this is our new size.

Yogurt is a food that I found problematic. For some reason I deemed yogurt a food I could break rules with and I ate yogurt more frequently in a week than allowed. I ate it alone. I made desserts with yogurt too. No overeating yogurt. Only eat yogurt with protein. No snacking. No deserts. Follow these rules and avoid causing a plateau. Break them and you hit a plateau. It's that simple.

08/09/15 update on yogurt
Julie has always said to go by only what you heard from her, however at the refresher I went to a few weeks ago she made an exception: the yogurt brand she recommended has changed and now includes ingredients that triggers food cravings. She no longer recommends that brand. She says we can buy any brand of plain yogurt - no vanilla or any flavor at all.

It's essential to balance your meat-to-veggie ratio. Do you recall the metaphor about army men or piranhas? Regardless of which analogy you relate to, or if you don't relate or remember either, know this:

• It's all about about balancing your insulin. 
• All carbs, including veggies, spark insulin production. 
• The only thing that balances insulin, is protein. 

The foods I mention here were my trouble areas, but you may have others. What are they? Stop eating them now!

The other thing is we must do is move. Are you walking or doing some form of exercise on a regular basis? If you aren't exercising, this may be a big reason for a plateau. Without enough physical activity, the fat will not leave your body. Find a form of exercise that you can do and start today.

You can do this! You can reach your goal size. Figure out your trouble areas and eliminate them. Many of us call this "eating clean." No grey areas, besides this program doesn't have grey areas. You're either on program or you're off. There is no third option.

August 07, 2014

This statement is so true for all of us on this journey: Don't wait until you've reached your goal to be proud of yourself. Be proud of every step you take toward reaching your goal.

Be proud today! - Photo by Theresa

Be proud of every single step and every single choice you make to stay on this program.

Be proud every time you look in the mirror.

Be proud every day, every week, every month, and every year that you stay in the river (on program).

Be proud when you realize another non-scale victory, such as no longer needing a seat belt extension on airplanes, crossing your legs for the first time in eons...

Be proud when you see victory: your goal size.

Be proud as you play the game of maintenance--learning how to cycle in and out of the river.

Be proud.

July 27, 2014

One year ago today, I began a journey that  changed my life in ways I couldn't even have dreamed of. I walked into Key Hypnosis and met Julie Ann Kibe. Get rid of all your preconceived notions of hypnosis, because this was nothing like that. She just talked and talked, and while my ears heard normal conversation, somehow my mind and body heard more--they heard how to heal. Somehow, in a room full of people, she dismantled the giant roadblock in my mind, that had made me morbidly obese for over 20 years.

July 2013 vs July 2014

I don't know exactly how much I've lost so far, as no scales are allowed... over a hundred pounds would be my guess...but I don't care what I've lost. I care what I've gained. I've gained my life back. I now love my body, flaws and all. I don't care if parts sag, or are too big or too small. I take pride in the strength I'm discovering in it. I giggle that I'm now able to cross my legs. I smile when I carry four bags of groceries up a flight of stairs, and I'm not out of breath at the top. I still hate long walks, and I may have grumbled all the way through last week's 5k walk/run, but I entered it, and I completed it.

My husband, family, and friends all tell me that the biggest change is not my outside, but my inside. One year later, I now try new things. I dare to excel. I've gotten a promotion. I've bought a house. I've traveled on a plane. My anxiety attacks have subsided from a freight train roaring through my body five evenings a week, to an occasional anxious twinge. My size has gone from 32 jeans that I couldn't zip, to a tight but zip-able 18 jean.

A few months back, I had the opportunity to thank Julie in person. I'm paraphrasing, but this is the gist of what she said. She humbly equated it to her being the person running behind us, holding on to our bike seat, while we learn how to steer and pedal. She said that once we have our balance, she lets go, and off we race on our own. That may be how she looks at it, but in my mind, this woman saved my life. I've heard people say $600 is too much money to spend on a "weight loss" program. For what I've gained from this, $6,000 would be a bargain. Thank you, Julie. You gave me my life back.

July 20, 2014