I love watching people. Have always enjoyed watching people.

I am always amazed at what I see when people watching.

We were just gone for 9 days and I had many opportunities to people watch. I was sitting in the shade in Lancaster PA at the Green Dragon market (my 2 year old grandson was sleeping in the carriage and it was so hot I had to sit for a bit) and had another opportunity to people watch.

I have been realizing that, in my personal opinion, 90% of the people I see are over weight. Some severely. Morbidly obese as I was before Julie. Sad thing is, many of those people walked by me eating things that make me shudder now. Fried dough, corn dogs, ice cream, you get the gist. Makes me want to cry. Many drive by me in motorized scooters because they can't walk and I assume it is from the weight they carry. Not many are smiling, many have frowns on their faces and are short tempered with people at the booths.

Remember this is my own personal observations.

When sitting down I am at stomach level and can see many, many, jiggly bellies.

Now I am observing the 10% who are thin or at a normal weight.

I have been beating myself up because I jiggle in places I don't want to jiggle in, I have empty skin hanging, my body shape will never be what I would like it to be. I will never be 'centerfold' material. LOL! I have abused my body for so many years that unless I have many surgeries to make it the way I want it to be, well, lets just say, that aint happening here.

BUT, I have noticed, many middle aged women like myself, do not have perfect bodies. Their legs jiggle when they walk even though they are a nice weight. They look great in clothes but they have many imperfections also.

Guest post by: Linda L.

September 05, 2017

It's been nearly three months since my last post and a few of you have been asking if I'm okay and how I'm doing. Thank your for that! Here's an update of how I'm doing, where I am on my weight loss journey, and where I'm focusing my energy today.



I'm not sure what caused my lower back pain last June, but after a few months of physical therapy and daily stretching exercises, my back pain is gone—yay! At the end of September, I twisted my knee and a few weeks later I was in so much pain that I could barely finish a four-mile walk. Prior to that I had been walking 8 to 10 miles daily.

Each month that passed, I walked less and less. Physical therapy for my knee only seemed to make the pain worse. By February, I was overwhelmed with pain and I was no longer taking my daily walks. I had become best friends with Ben and Jerry and my daily food choices were unhealthy. I felt like my life was a puzzle and there were a few pieces missing; I could not find the way back to living my best life.

What helped resolve my back pain was those daily stretches and that I stopped eating sugar. It was not a long and winding road of recovery from sugar, mainly because of a really bad flu that cleaned out my system these past two weeks. I do not wish that flu on anyone. In week two the symptoms lessened, my body was sugar-free, and my optimism returned. My knee pain is still there, but I now have the energy needed to get help to resolve this. I had no optimism when I was eating all that sugar.

I'm eating healthy again, but I feel like I did in the beginning of my journey in that I'm not ready to talk about what I'm doing or where I'm going on my weight loss journey. I want to spend my energy on doing and not talking or writing about what I'm going to do.

One thing I have learned from my nine months of unhealthy eating is that regardless of what I'm choosing to eat, I should never give up my exercise routine. I could not believe how much stamina I lost. The good news is our bodies are so forgiving. I am inspired to regain my stamina, because this past year I met many people who are in their 80's and 90's who have healthy bodies and minds. 

During the time I was stressed from my back and knee pain, I gained weight. Yes, gaining weight has been a setback, but along the way I found the missing pieces to the puzzle of my life: optimism, stamina, health, purpose, joy, love, intuition, and the desire to continue to learn and grow. These pieces are essential to live a good life and I don't plan on losing these pieces again.

My weight loss journey is just one part of my life's puzzle, I also have a business to run. Renewed from finding the missing pieces of my puzzle, I'm focused on making this a successful business. For almost two decades, I've been wanting to help others capture their life stories, so I started a video memoir business. I'm enjoying filming people telling stories of their lives and the lives of their families. Yes, in case you are wondering, this is where I met those octogenarians and nonagenarians.

I've captured stories from people in the Pioneer Valley, New Hampshire, Connecticut, and Rhode Island, and I now have enough stories for my portfolio. This means the time has come for me to build my StoryCatcher Studios website. I do other video projects, including filming stories of small businesses owners, editing films others recorded, and I'm working on a local documentary. I also teach two classes at the Springfield Museums: Creative Writing and Memoir and at Holyoke Community College I teach a 3-hour class Family Legacy in spring and fall.

The photos above represents the part of my life pertaining to my weight loss journey, but I am more than a number on a scale or the size of my clothes. So are you. Meeting and filming those elders, I want to be like them—I want to be 95 years old and still have my health and my mind.

I have not given up on my weight loss journey, but I will stop blogging about this part of my life, at least for now. I'm giving my full attention to my whole life and all the new found pieces to my life's puzzle.

Thank you all for your support over the years and for being a big piece of my life's puzzle. Wishing you all a safe and wonderful life journey.

April 04, 2017

After 13 months of side trips down Sugar Highway and Carbohydrate Lane, plus a few false starts back on program, I'm happy to report I've returned to my weight loss journey. This was a long side trip, but I learned a lot.

My progressive journey

For starters, I learned that eating a diet high in sugar and carbs depletes my energy; I like having a lot of energy far more than I like sugar and carbs. I also learned that I like being the size I was last year much more than the size I am today. I accept that it's going to take time to get back to the size I was.

Meanwhile, I bought some new clothes, as all my clothes were too tight. I'm teaching creative writing again soon and I was running out of clothing options. Despite my disappointment in the sizes I bought and how I feel when I see myself in the mirror, I was fortunate to find great bargains for clothing that is beautiful and colorful. That said, I'm already envision selling these new clothes.

I'm working on letting go of the shame I feel for gaining weight. I accept that I can not change the past. I can only move forward from where I am today.

In the fall of 2015, a number of friends encouraged me to go on maintenance. I wanted to lose more weight. I had been on program for 4 years and I don't think we're meant to be in the river (on program) that long. We've supposed to do this once and be done with the weight loss phase.

In Dec. 2015 I went off on some sort of a rebellion and I went crazy eating sugar and carbs. I stayed on program for a few weeks and then I'd go off again. I began to tell myself I'd start again tomorrow. Tomorrow turned into a week. When I got back on program, I couldn't stay on for more than a few weeks. The next thing I knew, all my clothes were too tight, more than a year had passed, and I had lost all control over what I was eating.

This is not a path I want to choose again. Once and done has more meaning to me today than ever before. If we follow this program as we are taught, then we only need to do it once and we are done. The goal is to take our weight off and then go through maintenance to learn how to stay in our goal size clothing.

Last spring exercise disappeared from my daily planner. In June I began to have back pain and at the end of September I twisted my leg. Eating sugar and carbs was one of the worse things I could do at that point, but I couldn't stop.

In November I began working with a Chiropractor on my back. Last week I started seeing a physical therapist for my knee. My pain has reduced drastically, but I'll need to do these stretching exercises for the rest of my life.

I'm in the river and I'm SO done with these side trips.

I concede that daily stretching exercises and healthy eating is what I need to live my best life. I can't afford anymore side trips.

Happy New Year to all of you. I hope that 2017 is your healthiest year ever!

January 09, 2017