At the end of the day on August first I was disappointed in myself. I only walked 5,000 steps—half of my daily goal. I was worried I was starting another month of failing to reach my walking goals. Oh no you don't...one less than perfect day isn't going to get me down. I tossed Negative Nellie (my inner critic and Little Mean Girl's sister) to the curb and on August second I stepped up reach my goal.
Negative Nellie - Little Mean Girl's sister
Not only have I reached 10,000 steps every day since—I've exceed my daily goal—and yesterday I walked 18,997 steps. Yeah! It feels fabulous to be walking consistently once again.

The definition of goal* is the result or achievement toward which effort is directed. Did you notice failure is not part of the equation in defining goal? It is referenced in "goal in technology:" A goal may fail or it may succeed in one or more ways. Now this I can wrap my head around, as there will be times when our efforts don't add up to the achievement we aimed for that day, that week, or that month. We let go of what we could have or should have done and keep pushing ourselves.

I track my daily steps with a Fitbit. This gadget is not about tracking my failures. It's meant to keep me motivated. It also connects me with my friends, whom inspire me when I see their successes. Negative Nellie sometimes has a field day with my friend's data. She loves to point out how much more someone else is doing than I am.

Listen up Nellie—no matter how you choose to look at this—a glass is always half full—I choose to see the glass half full.

Our weight loss goals may fail or succeed in more than one way too. Those times where we convinced ourselves it was okay to eat giant chunks of cheese at a party, because at least it wasn't sugar. Yes, it's great that we didn't eat sugar, but all that cheese is keeping us from losing more weight.

Do you see how overeating cheese, or whatever you may be eating inappropriately, is keeping you from you longer term effort to reach your goal size? This was my major light bulb moment at the refresher I went to recently.

Each food choice we make and each decision we choose about exercise—moves us closer or further from our goal size. How will you direct your efforts today?


*Modern Language Association (MLA): "goal." Dictionary.com
August 09, 2015
Have you been wondering how long is it going to take to reach your goal size? Are you at a loss with what to do? Perhaps it's time to surrender. I'm not talking about surrendering to your sweet cravings or giving up your weight loss journey. I'm talking about surrendering to yourself. I recently experienced my own sweet surrender...
I am half the size I was before I began this journey!
For reasons that I don't understand, I forget how big I used to be. I'm half the size I was 4 years ago—how can I forget that? When my Little Mean Girl and her sister Negative Nellie filled my head with self-doubt and temptations and telling these inner critics to hush didn't do the trick, it was time to look back at my journey, to remember where I started, how far I've come, and to find motivation to keep going.

Seeing my old photographs helps me put things in perspective. Seeing the photos above, especially my 2010 photo, instantly hushed those inner critics.

By March 2011, two months after my sessions with Julie, my weight loss became noticeable. I still remember how incredible I felt when that photo was taken. I was visiting friends in California and they all wanted to know what diet I was following.

By 2012 I dropped enough weight to once again have a waistline. Woo-woo! Jogging and walking had become as essential as brushing my teeth. My waist became more defined, but all I could see was how big my belly and hips were.

I cringed every time I looked in the mirror and I constantly said, "My hips, oh my hips—when are they ever going to get smaller?" I don't remember when I stopped focusing on my hips, probably around December 2014, but I'm happy that phase is over.

Today I gathered photos that made me cringe and compiled the image below. I still cringe, but I don't look like these photos today, which is my point—take photos along the way so you can see your progress.

 As I lost weight, all I saw was how big my belly and hips were.
A few weeks ago, I had a photo taken of me in the same dress I wore in the summer of 2012. As you can see in photo below, my dress faded—and I  gradually disappeared too; I wasn't able to see my changes until today. There's a whole lot less of me now than three summers ago.

August 2012 vs July 2015

Yes, my belly and hips are still bigger than I want, but I hear this comment from women in size four and up. I let go of what I want my body to look like and focus my energy instead in answering the question: what do I need to do today to help me reach my goal size? Immediately I ponder if I'm on a plateau.

Yes, plateaus are part of the process, as our bodies need time to heal, but try telling that to my Little Mean Girl. Sometimes Little Mean Girl gets the better of me and questions: just how long is it going to take to get to goal size? Why do others lose weight so much faster?

Her sister Negative Nellie then chimes in: it's been over four years—you can have this—just this one time.

Looking at photos helped quiet down Little Mean Girl and Negative Nellie, but I still felt stuck, so I took a look at my life in another way: reading my old journals.

December 2, 2001 Journal

Over and over I wrote of promises to stick to (yet another) diet, of feeling like a failure because (once again) I failed to stay on my diet, and of overeating to a point of pain:
September 21, 2009: My stomach aches from what I ate for dinner last night: 8 slices of pizza and an entire pint of ice cream. I don't want to feel this way anymore. Today I begin my new diet. 
September 27, 2009: Tomorrow I will start my new diet.
Reading these words, reminded me what my life used to be like as an obese woman. I'm grateful those kinds of thoughts no longer consume me.

A few weeks ago, when I was walking I almost ran into a tree. I was reading my Facebook news feed as I walked, which is something I do not recommend. In that moment I realized I have been asleep in many ways.

I don't want to go through life asleep. That's how I was living before I started this weight loss journey. Eating ice cream as my main meal, I often fell into a coma-like state on my couch. I don't miss feeling that way one bit.

Back to the question: what can I do today to reach my goal size? Forget the question about being on a plateau, it just derails me and puts my focus on feeling sorry for myself.

What else can I do? That's when it hit me: If I'm to reach my goal size, I must surrender. I haven't been able to give up the excess cheese and I haven't been able to cut back on my portions or the fat. This is why I'm on a plateau! I surrendered to the fact that I'm stuck and I need help. I picked up the phone and called to book a refresher.

Little Mean Girl instantly stepped in and filled my head with thoughts of being a failure because I needed a refresher. Once the session began, all those thoughts dissolved. A refresher was what I needed to keep moving forward toward my goal. I'm fully awake and focused once again.

What about you? Have you been asleep or lost your way?

You get to choose if you are able to continue on your own to reach your goal or if you need a refresher.

Either way, it's time to wake up, time to surrender to yourself,  it's time to reach your goal size. Once and done.

Photobombed by Linda
August 06, 2015