Friend of Julie: November 2014

You are far more than a singular life struggle and that struggle is not your whole identity. As we lose weight, many of us have times where we are frustrated because the weight isn't coming off "fast enough," but this kind of thinking can get the better of us. Perhaps when we feel this way it's time to step back a bit and see if there's something else in our lives going on. Is it possible that this moment of doubt is really about not feeling "good enough" in another area of your life?

Don't let your struggle become your identity

You are "good enough" just the way you are, but sometimes we lose our focus and become discouraged about our weight loss journey. Perhaps giving yourself permission to change your way of thinking about yourself will help you regain your focus to stay the course.

This excerpt, from the blog of Marc Chernoff: Marc and Angle Hack Life, Tips for Productive Living: 20 Things to Remember When You Think You’re Not Good Enough, written by Marc Chernoff, is full of sage advice that I couldn't resist sharing.

Sometimes the hardest part of the journey is simply believing you’re worthy of the trip.

Nobody is doing better than you because nobody can do better than you.
YOU are walking your own path. Sometimes the reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes circumstances with everyone else’s public highlight reel. Forget what everyone else is doing and achieving. Your life is about breaking your own limits and outgrowing yourself to live YOUR best life.
Where you are right now is a necessary step.
Sometimes we avoid experiencing exactly where we are because we have developed a belief, based on our ideals, that it is not where we should be or want to be. But the truth is, where you are right now is exactly where you need to be to get to where you want to go tomorrow.
Everything is coming together… maybe not immediately, but gradually.
When times are tough, remind yourself that no pain comes without a purpose. Move on from what hurt you, but never forget what it taught you. Pain is part of growing. Remember that there are two kinds of pain: pain that hurts and pain that changes you. When you roll with life, instead of resisting it, both kinds help you grow.
It is your resistance to “what is” that causes your suffering.
Remember, happiness is allowing yourself to be perfectly OK with “what is,” rather than wishing for and worrying about “what is not.” “What is” is what’s supposed to be, or it would not be. The rest is just you, arguing with life. Think about that for a minute. This means your suffering only ever occurs when you resist how things are. You cannot control everything that happens to you; you can only control the way you respond to what happens. In your response is your power.
Every day brings a choice: to practice stress or to practice peace.
Choose to be miserable and you’ll find plenty of reasons to be miserable. Choose to be peaceful and you’ll find plenty of reasons to be at peace. Think about it. Are you skilled at making yourself miserable? With those same skills you can make yourself motivated, effective and fulfilled. Do so.
You are always good enough to try, and that’s what’s important in the end.
Everything you achieve comes from something you attempt. Make the attempt. Trust me, twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the things you did do. Give yourself a chance.
There’s always something small you can do.
There is absolutely nothing about your present situation that prevents you from moving forward, one tiny step at a time. Remember, vision without action is just a daydream; vision must be combined with venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps, you must step up the stairs. And all you have to do is take one step at a time. Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tiptoe if you must, but take that step.
Failures are really just lessons that need to be learned.
No day is ever wasted when you live it with purpose and presence. Value and enjoy the journey, even when there are detours along the way.
Yesterday’s impossibilities may be possible today.
Experience is the hardest kind of teacher; it gives you the test first and the lesson afterward. But this is really a blessing. It means you’re growing stronger and more capable with every passing day. So don’t you dare give up on today because of the way things looked yesterday. Don’t even think about it.
What “might happen” can only stop you if you let it.
Rather than worrying about what might happen, move forward and use your energy and intelligence to deal with what does actually happen.
The quality of your vision drives the quality of your life.
It’s up to you how you visualize things and what you focus on. Forget what you don’t like. Focus on what excites you. If you see a possibility, explore it. If you have a dream, live it. Those who are passionate and excited about what they’re doing have an advantage that is nearly impossible to conquer. Be one of these people.
You don’t need to get everyone’s approval first.
Stop listening to what the world says you should want. Start listening to who you are. Truth be told, there are only a few people in this world who will stay 100% true to you, and YOU should be one of them.
What you’re capable of achieving is greatly based on how much you want it.
When it means enough to you, then you can do it. When you are willing and committed and persistent, you will get yourself there, every time. Success is neither magical nor mysterious. Success is the natural outcome of consistently applying your focused effort to what you want. The fatigue might be there sometimes, but you must understand that putting it aside is the single most important factor in succeeding.
Your best bet is to give yourself no other choice.
It’s amazing what you can do when you have no other choice. In fact, achievement consists mostly of giving yourself no other choice. You are more than good enough; you just have to own it – you have to own everything you are and everything you’re up against. If you believe your troubles are too powerful, then you’ll never allow yourself to rise above them. Stop fretting. Quit worrying. Don’t complain. You know what you must do. So do it.
You have to work hard on yourself too.
Self-respect, self-love, self-worth… there’s a reason they all start with “self.” You can’t receive them from anyone else. Earn the respect of others by having the audacity to respect yourself. Dare to love yourself as if you were a rainbow with pots of gold at both ends. It’s your responsibility, above all, to see your own value. And this responsibility to yourself means refusing to let others do your thinking, talking, and deciding for you; it means learning to use your own brains and intuition to make things happen – hence, grappling with hard work.
You are stronger than whatever is troubling you.
Use each setback, each disappointment as a cue to push on ahead with more determination than ever before. When something bad happens, you can either let it define you, let it destroy you or let it strengthen you. The choice is yours. So pump yourself up! You are a lot stronger than you think you are. You may not be where you want to be yet, but look how far you’ve come. Celebrate the fact that you’re not where you used to be.
For everything you’ve lost, you’ve gained something else.
Appreciate what you have today. Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful. No regrets, just lessons. No worries, just acceptance. No expectations, just gratitude. Life is too short. The story of your life has many chapters. One bad chapter doesn’t mean it’s the end. So stop re-reading the bad one already, and turn the page.
You have made the best of some tough situations.
Smiling doesn’t always mean you’re happy with everything. Sometimes it just means you’re strong and smart enough to accept it and make the best of it.
Your scars are symbols of your strength.
Don’t ever be ashamed of the scars life has left you with. A scar means the hurt is over and the wound is closed. It means you conquered the pain, learned a lesson, grew stronger, and moved forward. A scar is the tattoo of a triumph. So don’t allow your scars to hold you hostage. Don’t allow them to make you live your life in fear. You can’t make the scars in your life disappear, but you can change the way you see them. You can start seeing your scars as a sign of strength and not pain.
You are still here trying.
If you have no other testimony right now, you have this one “I’m still here trying.” Be positive, patient and persistent. The more you feel like quitting, the more there is to be gained by continuing to do all three. Because the strongest people aren’t the people who always win, but the people who don’t give up when they lose.

November 22, 2014

I have a few short non-scale victory stories for you today. Small moments in time, glimpses into unexpected but significant changes in my life because of my weight loss. Moments that easily go unnoticed, but today I pause to celebrate them. A comment made by a waitress that would have a whole different meaning if I was still size 30/32. A moment when you, yes you reading this blog, saved me. A moment with me and my little black skirt.

Theresa and Alanna at Johnny's in South Hadley

The Waitress

This is one of those moments that people who have been obese can appreciate, but the humor and the awesomeness may be lost on those who have not struggled with obesity.

Last week I was at Johnny's Bar & Grille with my key-friend Alanna, enjoying great conversations over salt and pepper wings with roasted Brussels sprouts. After we were finished eating, the waitress cleared our table and before stepping away she said something that momentarily rendered us into silence.

"I can't believe you ate the whole thing!"

I was speechless, as I tried to grasp the meaning of what she said: I can't believe you ate the whole thing.

"Wow!" I said to Alanna, "That is not something someone would have said to me three years ago when I was wearing size 30/32 -- it would have had a whole different meaning!"

Alanna said she had too been quiet for the same reason: the waitress saw us as "normal!"

We claimed this as a great non-scale victory!

Before I move on to my next story, I must share these incredible before and after photos of Alanna. One year and what an incredible transformation!

Alanna September 2013 vs September 2014

Saved by the Blog

I can't tell you how many times this blog has saved me. Really, I'm not kidding! Once in a while when I'm in a grocery store and someone pass me, pauses, backs up their grocery cart, our eyes lock, and they say "Are you Theresa from the blog?"

You know who you are--and thank you for saying hello and chatting for a few minutes! You saved me a few weeks ago!

It is because of those brief encounters that I could tap away (push away) intense cravings. I was on the way back from Rhode Island and all the way home all I could think about was chocolate -- and where I could get some. I was obsessed for two solid hours.

What saved me is that no matter how I played it out in my mind, and believe me I visualized EVERY store between my brother's house (where I left my car) and my house, no matter where I envisioned myself stopping, I imagined one of you would be in that store, our eyes would lock as you recognized me and then you would see me -- holding chocolate -- what would I say?

Oh no, I could not let that happen!

I tapped it away -- I pushed past the moment and I drove home nonstop.

So, thank you for saving me!

Me and My Little Black Skirt

I bought a little black skirt at Lane Bryant at the end of summer. I know, I swore off going back there, but I knew I could get great bargains in my size because when I was a size 30/32 all the best sale items were size 14.

I always hated those women who came into Lane Bryant's in their size 14’s and scored on bargains. This visit I was one of those women! This was an egotistical non-scale victory, but I must admit: I was proud to be one of those women!

A few days later I brought the skirt back. When the sales clerk asked why I was returning it, I told her "because I don't have any tops to wear with it."

"It's a black skirt - everything goes with it!" she said.

The sales clerk's comment haunted me. I kept thinking how sassy I'd felt when I tried the skirt on in the store.

A few weeks later I had to have that little black skirt.

Back in Lane Bryant's again, I looked through the (much smaller) section of summer close-out sales, but it wasn't there. Then I remembered: when I was a size 26/28, there were always 14's mixed in with 26/28's. Sure enough -- there was my beautiful little black skirt -- now on sale for even less than I paid before!

Three years ago I would not have worn this little black skirt. In fact, back then, I didn't wear dresses at all. Today, wearing short dresses and skirts is one of my favorite non-scale victories.

I wore my little black skirt for the first time when I went to dinner with key friends. The knee length black skirt paired perfectly with a blouse that had been in my closet all along.

Susan, Karen, Theresa at Plan B looking at the very key-friendly menu

The blouse, which I'm wearing in the photo above, is one of many beautiful hand-me downs that I’ve been blessed to receive from key friends -- you know who you are!

I don’t always remember who gave me what outfit, but it was fun when Jill saw me and smiled. I knew immediately that the blouse had been hers.

"I always loved that blouse!" Jill said, "It had always been one of my favorites!"

I've dropped more weight these past few months (yeah!) and it's been great to pass clothing on to other key friends.

What about you? What non-scale victories have you experienced?

November 07, 2014

Meat Bagel

Ingredients

1 ½ onions, finely diced
1 tbsp of butter
2 pounds of ground pork
2 large eggs
2/3 cup tomato sauce
1 tsp paprika
1 tsp salt
½ tsp ground pepper

Instructions

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
Line a baking dish with parchment paper.
Sauté onions over medium heat in butter and sauté until translucent.
Allow onions to cool before adding them to the meat.
In a bowl, mix all of the ingredients including cooked onions. Mix well enough to evenly distribute the spices.
Divide the meat into 6 portions.
Using your hands, roll each portion of meat into a ball and then indent the middle and flatten slightly to form the appearance of a bagel.
Place the each meat bagel in the baking dish.
Bake for 40 minutes or until meat is fully cooked.
Allow the meat bagels to cool.
Slice the meat bagel just like a regular bagel.
Fill meat bagel with your favorite toppings, such as tomato slices, lettuce, onions etc.

Recipe and photo source: Ditch the Wheat

November 07, 2014

Wow - I can eat Spaghetti Pie and lose weight - how amazing is that? I encourage you to modify this recipe to suit your taste, as I have done. I used a mixture of sausage with sage and hamburg, but you may prefer the original recipe, which only calls for Italian sausage. I also skipped the suggestion to use pizza sauce and instead finished off a jar of opened tomato sauce. Make this your way, but any way you make it, as the texture is different from anything else in my usual menu. Plus, it's a good idea to expand our menus and not make the same foods again and again.

My slice of Spaghetti Pie

Prep time: 25 min.
Cook time: 1 hour
Total time: 1 hour 25 min.

Ingredients

1 large spaghetti squash
½ pound Italian sausage
½ pound hamburg
½ onion, diced
3-4 pieces of garlic minced or chopped(optional, I love garlic and couldn't resist adding it)
1 cup of your favorite tomato sauce (pizza sauce or any kin of tomato sauce)
fresh basil (or 1 teaspoon dried basil)
Italian spice blend (or your favorite blend of Italian spices)
salt and pepper, to taste (optional - I did not use either)
3 eggs, whisked

Instructions

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

2. Place whole spaghetti squash on a baking sheet and bake for 20-25 minutes or until the skin of the squash gives when you press on it. When it's done, set aside to cool.

I baked two spaghetti squash so I have one to make Lemongrass Shrimp Soup tomorrow

3. After the squash has cooled enough to handle it, discard the seeds and then place the spaghetti threads into an 8×8 baking dish.

Use a fork to remove the squash in spaghetti-like threads.

4. Place a large fry-pan over medium heat and cook Italian sausage, hamburg, and onion. Break meats into pieces as they cook.

5. Add the chopped or mince garlic to the pan as the meats cook.

Chop 3-4 pieces of garlic

6. When the meats are no longer pink, place the meat in a colander to drain the fat and then return the meat to the pan.

Cook the meats until no pink remains.

7. Chop the basil (if you used fresh basil) and then add to the pan with tomato sauce, and spices, then mix everything in the pan well.

Add fresh chopped fresh basil and other spices to the meat mixture

8. Add sausage mixture to a baking dish and mix well with spaghetti squash threads.

9. Add whisked eggs to the baking dish and mix everything together until you can no longer see the eggs.

10. Remove mixture from the edges of the dish before you put it in the oven, as the egg batter and stuff you see in the image below burned and made the dish a pain to clean.

11. Place dish in oven and bake for 1 hour or until the top of the mixture forms a slight crust that doesn’t give when you press on it in the middle of the dish.

I didn't wipe the mixture from the edge of the dish and later it was hard to clean.

11. Let dish rest for 5 minutes before serving.

Second time around I wiped the mixture from edges of the dish - much easier to clean.

When I made this dish a second time, I kept an eye on the oven and when the top started to burn I covered the dish. It came out less crunchy than the first time and I'm torn as to which way I like it better. I also used less squash and I sprinkled in a little bit of corn. I liked the extra texture the corn added and having less squash it gave space for the egg flavor to be present.

This is one of my new favorite recipes now. When you make this dish, think of the flavors you like on pizza and use those ingredients so this dish comes out really flavorful!

Inspiration for this dish came from the recipe Almost 5 Ingredient Pizza Spaghetti Pie by paleOMG's. I modified this recipe to meet my taste buds and you should do the same!

November 07, 2014

Lemongrass Shrimp Soup with Spaghetti Squash

Ingredients

1 medium spaghetti squash (about 3 pounds)
¾ pound shell-on medium shrimp
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
4 scallions, white and pale-green parts only, thinly sliced
1 lemongrass stalk, tough outer layers removed, thinly sliced
1 3" piece ginger, peeled, thinly sliced
2 garlic cloves, thinly sliced
8 cups chicken broth
Kosher salt
Cilantro sprigs
sliced Serrano chiles
lime wedges

Preparation

Preheat oven to 375°.
Pierce squash all over with a knife to vent.
Roast on a rimmed baking sheet, turning every 20 minutes, until tender (knife will easily slide through), 60–90 minutes.
Let cool slightly.
Halve lengthwise and scoop out seeds; discard.
Scrape flesh with a fork to remove in long strands. Spread out on paper towels to drain.
Meanwhile, peel and devein shrimp, reserving shells.
Place shrimp in a medium bowl; cover and chill until ready to use.
Heat oil in a medium pot over medium-high.
Cook shrimp shells, stirring occasionally, until bright pink and browned in spots, about 30 seconds.
Add scallions, lemongrass, ginger, and garlic, reduce heat to medium, and cook, stirring occasionally, until softened, about 3 minutes.
Add broth and bring to a boil.
Reduce heat and simmer until flavors marry and come together, about 30 minutes.
Strain through a fine-mesh sieve into a clean medium saucepan; discard solid.
Bring broth to a boil.
Reduce heat, add chilled shrimp, and simmer until shrimp are cooked through, about 2 minutes; season with salt.
Divide squash among bowls and ladle shrimp and broth over to cover. Despite the name, spaghetti squash is still a vegetable and can get mushy when overcooked. Simply ladle the hot broth over the noodles when you are ready to eat.
Top with cilantro and chiles and serve with lime wedges for squeezing over.

Original recipe and photo source: Bonappetit

November 07, 2014

This Kalua Pig recipe is easy to make but it needs to cook for about 16 hours in a crock pot. It's well worth the wait. Kalua Pig is popular in Hawaii where a whole pig is smoked in a sand pit with sea salt, banana leaves, and a special wood. This simple recipe is great for those of us who don't have access to banana leaves or access to a sand pit. The smoked flavor in this recipe comes from liquid mesquite smoke, which you can find in the store next to barbecue sauces.