I am loving this new way to eat! I am in control and am actually loosing weight. I have no problem not weighing myself as that had become quite an obsession with me. One thing I can not remember is why do vegetables turn to fat if you do not eat equal amounts of meat or more meat than veggies? And I am looking for some portable protein ideas. We are leaving in a few hours for a 10 hour drive to Ohio and am trying to come up with meat to have with me for when I actually get hungry. It will be interesting to be in a car that long and not be constantly munching. I am a little worried about meals as we will be with relatives who have no weight problems, but I am planning ahead the best I can. Any ideas or suggestions would be GREATLY appreciate!!! Thanks! Linda
OH MY WORD, it worked!!!!

When you sign into the google blog sign in, go to this blog, then up in the right hand corner of page it says new post.

That is what worked for me!!!!
My Florida vacation is behind me and I thought I'd take a few minutes to reflect back on my food choices. As I mentioned, parties were difficult, and the holidays are not yet over. The Christmas dinner menu hasn't been set yet, but I will make sure I have my protein needs met ahead of time by asking more details about dinner.

Since I've been home, I've continued to eat dried carrots and dried veggies; a whole container at a time. I do not recommend eating the dried veggies I wrote about recently. I end up eating a whole container, which add up to a lot of calories and feels like eating out of control. Anything that makes me feel out of control is not good.

I'm hesitant about ingredient dexitrin, which is used to make things crisp. I did some research and I found that dexitrin products made in the US are made with corn and not wheat like other countries. This is good, but unless you contact the supplier, it's impossible to know where the product was made. I couldn't find enough details about the corn to satisfy me - are we talking about real corn or corn products, such as corn syrup? My guess is the later. In any case, I'm going to drop them from my food options.

I'm also eating too much cheese. Cheese is to be treated like a condiment.

I'm eating a lot of meat and drinking lots of water, but I feel slightly off-balance and I don't want to end up way off track. To keep me on track, I have an appointment to see Julie early in January. After my last session with Julie, I decided I would go back in a year, unless I felt I was headed for trouble. I am confident I can pull myself back on course, but asking for help is a good idea too.

Making the decision to see Julie in January, does not give me license to do as I please between now and then. I've heard others in group "confess" they ate this and that because they knew they were going back in for a session. I want to work out this grey area that I'm in on my own, so that I will learn how to do this, but having a backup plan for reinforcement works for me too.

BTW, I added a few photos to my postings from Florida, so go back and take a look.
At my last group session with Julie, there were a number of people who had been on vacation and couldn't get back "on program". Julie suggested ways to be on vacation and explore the foods of the area you're visiting: start with starches, such as a potato, skip a day, then have another starch; don't start with sugars and don't have sugar every day. Then, get back "on program" as soon as you are on your way home. She gave more details, but I immediately decided that advise was for people who are at their goal weight and not for me. I have a long way to go to reach my goal weight and I don't want to start messing with sugars until I'm there. Julie agreed.

Those in the group who who home from their vacation and had been struggling getting back on program, she prescribed 3-days of meats, and after that go back to the full program.

On my way home from the airport last night, I stopped at the grocery store and bought a few staples: meatloaf, chicken, coleslaw, and milk. Breakfast this morning consisted of meatloaf and a nice cup of coffee topped with foamy milk. I make a better meatloaf, but I wanted to have a good amount of ready-to-eat meats available and I knew I wasn't going to cook last night or this morning.

Thanks for your supportive feedback Linda; I do feel good about the choices I made during my vacation. And you are right - the week ahead will continue to challenge us, at the office and at gatherings with friends and family.

I was so focused on the bird in the
background, I didn't see the one in the foreground.
This was my birthday breakfast: blue crab omelet.
I'm at Orlando International airport, waiting for my plane, which boards in a half hour. The Internet connection was problematic at the house, the Comcast experience was the same as I've had in the past, horrific, but they are the only option available, so they torture their customers at every given opportunity. I spent two hours on the phone one night and the next morning another two hours. I quickly discover the guy on the phone the night before lied about everything he said, so I had to start all over. We left without resolving this and one less TV with cable than when we arrived. Conversing with them is not a good way to start or end a day.

My friend Lucy and her husband Rick invited us to dinner last night. I met Rick in the late 70's before he and Lucy were married. We were all quite young and they were in their early 40's, and we did a lot of sailing in Kaneohe Bay, off the windward side of Oahu. In fact, a few years later, they left Hawaii and Carl and Arlene bought their 40 foot sailboat, LaBumba, from them. It's still at the Honolulu Yacht Club and it's for sale, of any of you are in the market.

Rick and Lucy offered lots of protein and veggies and they had soda water for my vodka. Lucy gave us Christmas gifts. Inside my card, Lucy scribed "for a time in the future" and the gift was a beautiful turquoise pair of capris, size XL. She said she hoped I wasn't offended, but she had gained and lost some weight last year and the capris were too big for her and they looked like they would fit me soon.

I tried them on before I went to bed last night and they fit me now, though ten less pounds will be a better fit. This is great - now I have a new summer item for my April trip to Southern California. Most of what I wore this trip will be too big by April, so it's good to have something new to wear then.

I need to get things in order here, as I'll be boarding soon. I hope to post photos this weekend and perhaps another blog entry on vacation reflection.

It's 7 am and there's a cool chill in the air here in Punta Gorda; it's must be in the mid-to-low 50's. The sky becomes lighter by the moment, as the three-quarter moon fades softly away. I've been up for about an hour, sipping coffee and waiting for the sounds of life on the canal to begin. I have my video camera and tripod set up, and I'm hoping to capture jumping fish and birds looking for breakfast. A dog barks in the background, a bird chirps a few times, a flock of birds fly by in the distance, too far for my camera lens, an airplane passes by covering all sounds of nature.

As I wait for more action than cooing birds and a howling dog, I'll fill you in on my food choices for the past few days. Since I had stocked the house with some my food preferences, I made healthy breakfasts, which we enjoyed by the pool each morning, as well as lunches. This worked well for me when we had company, as I always had good protein sources available. It was more difficult when we had dinner or cocktails at other people's homes, such was the case last night.

We went for cocktails and appetizers at a the house of the couple who used to own the home Carl and Arlene bought, which is where we stayed all week. We had a late lunch, chicken salad and fresh veggies, so I wasn't hungry when we arrived. We had a tour of their beautiful custom-built home and then sat down with cocktails and engaged in conversation. As we talked with our host and her husband, Phyllis brought us plate after plate after plate of hot appetizers. Our one hour planned visit turned into three hours. Phyllis was a wonderful hostess and I enjoyed the evening, but aside from cheese, some of which were spreadable and contained nuts, my only protein option was pigs in a blanket.

This is real life. Finding my way in these kinds of food situation is something I need to learn how to do. This week, with a social gathering every night, has provided me with an opportunity to navigate my way around socially and maintain my food standards. Unlike my friends, who have kids and lots of social gatherings to challenge them, or weekly family meal gatherings, I don't do much of this kind of socializing, so I'm mainly in controlled food environments on this weight loss journey.

I learned to take the "pigs" (tiny sausages) out of their blankets and quietly toss the blankets in the trash -- and to drink vodka on the rocks with a whole lemon; just one thank you very much. I never thought I'd drink straight vodka, but here we are. I was not the designated driver; otherwise I'd either still be there this morning or I would have refrained from drinking at all.

I focused on veggies and cheeses, knowing my meat-to-veggie balance was off and my cheese ratio was over-the-top. I ran into trouble thinking I could push a crescent aside and just eat the mushroom filling. I ate four of those, but only tossed two crescents, which were smaller than the space between my index finger and thumb.

This journey is about living and learning, and making choices to allow me to live a balanced life. I did a great job this week in keeping the balance. Nothing sweet touched my lips and there were sweets in my environment all day and every night at a party. I inhaled and appreciated the sweet aromas and presentations, and had another drink instead. That's what I did at my birthday dinner a couple of nights ago. Another troubled areas was when I told them to hold the Spanish rice, but Arlene wanted it. When my New York sirloin stake arrived, sizzling with with onions, fresh parsley, and lime juice, I immediately move the rice from my plate to her. I later found two bites of the rice hidden under my steak and because it was on my plate, I ate the two bites. Next time I will ask for the rice on a separate plate.

It turns out, I don't have Internet access at the house I'm staying at, so I'll write and then posts my blogs on my way home. I also can't upload images to the blog from my iPad or iPhone, so I'll add photos when I get home. I'll have to find a way to add photos when I'm traveling or find a better blog system. I also noticed there are no paragraph breaks in my last entry I'm not sure what's up with that either.
I have a few hours to myself (well Carl's mother-in-law is here, but at age 92 and a half, Rita is pretty quiet). My brother Carl and his wife Arlene went off to run errands at Home Depot and Walmart. I opted to stay home and blog, even though I'm not sure when I'll be able to post; Internet access isn't set up yet.

It's 11 am and I'm sitting on the patio, in the shade, listening to the gurgling of the pool a few feet away, pools of fish jumping, and watching pelicans and other birds fly along the canal. It's too late for breakfast, the birds feed on the canal fish early morning and are done by 9 am. Each day has had a great start: a 2.2 mile walk with my brother, cooking breakfast for all of us, and then enjoying our coffee and eggs watching the birds successfully pilferage for breakfast. Then we're ready for a full-day of planned and unplanned activities.
The patio (or as they refer to it in the Hawaiian island "lanai", is completely screened in; locally they refer to this as a cage. It seems an odd concept to me, but it really keeps the bugs out and a neighbor who came for drinks last night told stories of birds getting into her house after a hurricane took down the cage screen. She really started to panic when she saw a Pelican looking in the house with serious determination; screens were replaced the next day. I've a few photos to add here in a few days.

My first morning here, I stocked up on foods to meet my needs, as the kitchen was full of processed things I no loner eat. I share my food along the way, but I needed to make sure my nutritional needs were met, so I bought a whole chicken, mayo, ham, cheese, coleslaw, lots of lemons and limes for my vodka tonic and plain drinking water, eggs, half and half, fresh corn, cukes, and a few other veggies. Grapefruit is growing in the yard, and since I'm not having any, I am enjoying using the hand juicer I bought them and making fresh squeezed grapefruit juice for them. I like the juicer so much, I'm going to get me one when I return home. I'll add a photo here when I have that feature option.
For breakfast this morning, I browned up small round sausages in one pan and made English style eggs in another. I chopped up a portion of a red pepper and as it cooked slightly, whisked 6 eggs with a fork, added small pieces of Swiss cheese, add the eggs to the peppers and then spooned the mixture until everything was cooked.

Early this morning, I read a blog by Michael Hyatt "How a shift in your vocabulary can instantly change your attitude" (12/12/11). He talks about the power of words and the I impact words have on others and on us. For example, we talk about things we have to do, rather than saying we get to do something. For me, it feels better to say "I get to exercise" rather than "I have to exercise". When I say "I have to do something" it feels more like a punishment than a good thing; exercise is not a punishment. The real punishment is not being able to exercise. I was happy for this reminder, to stay positive: I get to exercise! I'm especially grateful that while I'm here in Florida for the week, I get to exercise every morning with Carl, who only a few weeks ago finished chemo and radiation to treat a squamouscell cancer in his neck.

We've had a couple of small parties, which reinforced my decision to bring in healthy foods, and there are more visitors at the house as I type; it's almost 3:30 pm. I asked to borrow the car and made a run to Barnes and Noble for Internet access and because it's getting really hot today and I can't stand the heat. If I stayed home, I fear I would have gone to bed for a few hours, it's cooler in my bedroom and I wouldn't have to hold back on my urge to fall asleep. Tonight we go to friends for a holiday party and we were ask see to only bring ourselves. I have food options at home to fall back on if they don't have healthy option, but I suspect they will have good choices for me.

Time to get back on the road. As I said, I 'll keep writing and post when I can.

Are you doing well at getting through the holiday parties?
Dec. 2011
A few hours ago, I drove from South Hadley to Providence airport, and I'm now waiting  at Charlotte airport for my connection to Ft. Meyers for a week of Florida fun.

After clearing airport security in Providence, I went looking for dinner and  found a nice looking burger place called Johnny Rocket.  As I approached the cashier, a pilot got in line behind me and since I  had two hours before I needed to be at my terminal and he seemed to be in a rush, I told him to go ahead of me.  While I debated over the menu, I heard him order  a double rocket (cheeseburger), no bun, and no French fries, which  is exactly what I chose as well. It was delicious.

Because the healthy looking pilot ordered the same thing, I am officially over being embarrassed for ordering off-menu. Really, the only ones who seem to think ordering a sandwich without the bread is abnormal are the restaurant owners, who don't offer a discount  for ordering less food. Sure, they knocked off fifty-cents, but come on...if I ordered fries they'd cost me more than that.

I usually  plan my flight meal ahead of time, but that didn't happen this trip. Usually I buy beef jerky, pepperoni, or deli ham, and add in some fresh cut veggies and cheese. It's good to plan ahead. Today I discovered that I can find and choose healthy options wherever I am, without having to be obsessed about what I will eat. There is planning and then there is planning so much that it's an unhealthy obsession. Today, I found a balance.

I had a plan for what I was going to bring for the plane, beef jerky and dried green beans [06/21/12 update: dried foods, including dried green beans, are not on program] from Whole foods. While in the store a few days ago, I bought the green beams, but I forgot the beef jerky and I ate the whole package of green beans with my dinner all last night.

Side note here about the beans. The dried green beans are delicious and crunchy like potato chips, but I eat the entire container if I'm not careful. At the movies,  I bring in a portion of beans, a package of beef  jerky, and a bottle of water. At home, sometimes I get carried away with them and don't have equal meat. When that happens, I stay away from the green beans for a few months. I have the same problem with dried carrots. Anything in large amounts can be unhealthy. This is a reminder that I have more to learn about a balanced diet.

You may be wondering what's wrong with green beans? Nothing when you have an equal portion of meat with them. A whole package alone is off-program and is over 1,000 calories.

I have some exciting news to report - the seatbelt buckled without my needing an extension and I was able to make my food tray was fully flat! I can't remember the last time I flew without needing a seatbelt extension. Another silent embarrassing act behind me.

I haven't work this shirt since 1992
One more piece of great news. I was freaking out a few nights ago about where all my beautiful capris went, only to recall I sold them all on eBay last summer. I found a handful of capris and packed them, but the exciting part - I also packed my beautiful summer blouses, which fit perfectly. I wore these blouses for a nano second in the early 1990's when I had dropped weight and didn't get to wear them a even third time, as I gained the weight back quickly. Theses are bright colored tropical prints that are timeless in the tropics.

This means that when summer 2012 arrives, I will need all new clothes, as these are the smallest clothes I have.
Total of 5,500 ran or walked
5k Run

What an incredible day - I completed my first 5k since the 1980's and the results are in ... my running time was 45:11.95 and my pace was 14:3.

The race was wonderful. During my training this past week, my pace was 16:24 and the longest distance in my c25k was 2.02 miles, so I definitely kicked it up for the race. My target goal was a 15 minute mile and I beat my goal. Yahoo!

For a 56 year old woman, who wears a size 20, I think this is pretty amazing. I'm proud of myself and my friend Aime who trained with me and ran along side me for most of this race; she was kind enough to keep a steady pace with me for the first two miles. Aime jogged the whole race and it was inspiring to watch. Me, I had trouble breathing, because of seasonal allergies, so I alternated between jogging and fast walking, and kept her in my view.

About a quarter of a mile from the finish line, Aime's friend Kathy, who finished the race 15 minutes earlier, jogged along with me. That was great. She encouraged me and taught me about Chi running.

"Lean your upper body forward", she said, "and the rest of your body goes faster to catch up. It's just like when you were a kid."

This must have been just what I needed, as my breathing got easier. I pushed myself and jogged as fast as I could towards the finish line.
Before the race: me on the left and Aime on the right.


After the Race

Breakfast for Champions, photo by Theresa
I felt incredible after the race - no aches or pains - totally energized. It's now nearly 6 pm and I still feel great. At the finish line, we were offered free hot chocolate, baked goodies, and fruit, but I was not at all interested. I proudly accepted my mug and filled it with cold water.

After a bit of socializing, we went to the East Village Cafe, in Easthampton, and had a breakfast for champions: egg scramble with red peppers, onion, spinach, and broccoli. Note my 2011 hot chocolate run mug in the background.

I feel so good that I'm ready to sign up for the in April 1, 2012 Carlsbad 5k (in southern California). As soon as I have plane tickets, I'm registering!
'Tis the season to enjoy our progress - moving forward and staying on program despite all the holiday parties. I had my share of temptations, but I'm happy to report that I was able to stay on program and not dip into the sweet holiday treats.
damaged tree from the Halloween snow storm

Halloween

Halloween wasn't an issue for me this year, since I don't have kids and Halloween was cancelled due to the freaky October snowstorm. I didn't have candy to hand out and I managed to avoid the leftover candy people brought to the office.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was a challenge, having my hands in the preparing and avoiding licking fingers; I ran water over my fingers instead of putting them in my mouth. Stuffing was hard to stay away from too. In the end, a kitchen situation happened and I ended up not being their for dinner. My sister-in-law lost her balance pulling grandma's corn pudding from the oven and the bath of water it sat in spilled onto her thigh and stomach. I took her to the ER, and we told everyone to go ahead and eat without us. (She has a second degree burn on her thigh, but she'll be fine. I talked with her today and it's healing well.) Those food items were not so tempting when they were no longer hot. Pies weren't temping either; homemade pies were not to be seen - this made it easier too. Not to say there weren't times when a store bought pie did the trick; it just didn't flip my switch this year.

Having foods that work for me on Thanksgiving was the trick. I made butternut squash, I ate lots of turkey, and grandma's corn pudding. The day after Thanksgiving, I warmed up leftovers for my niece and her family and I stayed on program again; serving whipped cream and ice cream and all! I didn't feel deprived at all. I had a the same items I did the day before and once again and desserts didn't interest me.

To make things even better, I dropped more this week; I can feel it in my clothes and I've heard comments from friends "Wow - you lost more weight - it must be all that exercising?" Yes, and eating lots of meat helps too!

I'm heading to Florida the next of next week for a week of vacation. I have a bathing suit that I found in my closet, which I am hoping to fit into; it's a size 1X Junonia. I leave in 6 days, so it either fits or it doesn't, I can only keep doing my best.

The 5k

Tomorrow morning is my 5k. I'm nervous and excited. I've trained as best as I can and I'm working on keeping the negative thoughts out of my head (like: what are you thinking?). I'm going to follow Nike's advice: Just Do It! I'll report back on my results.

How are all of you doing? How was your Thanksgiving weekend? Any problems staying the course?
What's for Dinner? Sausage and Eggs
Sausage and Eggs
Tonight I made one of those quick dinner meals: sausage and eggs. I bought small sausage patties a couple days ago, thinking I'd have them for breakfast yesterday and I never got around to it.  While the patties were cooking, and they cooked fast, I scrambled an egg in a bowl, chopped fresh basil, and added the basil and a small cube of cheese that had hot red and green peppers to the bowl. Once the sausages were done, I plated them and put the scrambled egg mixture in the hot pan. I served both items on a dinner plate with an equal portion of coleslaw. Cleanup was also quick, especially since I only used one pan and it was teflon.

Coats for Sale on Ebay


I'm up really late tonight because I'm selling all my coats on eBay. All that is except for two: a red wool jacket that I'm having altered and a blue leather jacket that fits me just perfect.

I tried on each of the coats before taking photos and posting them on eBay. I thought for a nano second that I could keep them to wear the res of winter, but no...they really are too big! This is exciting, but I have a couple that I really love and I will miss them.

I plan to use the money I earn from these coats for my next shopping spree. The coats  I'm keeping are short, so it's possible I'll be bargain hunting later this winter for a longer-length and smaller size. That's exciting as well. Plan B, if my coats don't sell: donate them to Safe Passage.

Last night, a friend told me she was feeling depressed and overwhelmed. I told her to take a hike. Well, I didn't say it quite like that, I suggested she go for a 15 minute walk. An hour later, I took my own advice and found the results were as I had suggested: my mood and energy level shifted.

Why would I want to increase my energy level at 8:00 pm? Because I had fought off taking a nap most of the afternoon, something I often do on the weekend, and I didn't want to go to bed so early. I figured fresh air would be just the thing I needed. Who cares if it took me an hour to get outside...I took the walk and the rest of my evening was far enjoyable than going to bed at 8 pm.

I took my c25k outdoors today. Aime and I met at 8:30 and did our program in the crisp morning air. It's a harder program for me outdoors and today I tried to figure out why. One thing that might help is  take something for outdoor allergies. I also realized something happened a couple times that slowed me down: when we encountered other people, I lost my momentum. I need to learn how to stay focused so this isn't an issue during the race.

I stopped at the grocery store on the way home and stocked up on foods I need for the next few days: bacon, eggs, ground sirloin, sausage, coleslaw, cheese, fresh herbs, and butternut squash. This afternoon I'll make meatballs. I'm creating a new recipe, in which I'll add ground sirloin with ground Italian sausage, and I'll make the sauce from scratch, with crushed canned tomatoes, tomato paste, fresh basil, parsley, and garlic, and I'll grate fresh parmesan.

I was hungry when I got home from exercising, but I had shopped with a quick meal in mind: coleslaw, black forest ham rolled with a small amount of sharp cheddar cheese, and seltzer. This meal hit the spot. I had cottage cheese with chives and toasted onions in the refrigerator, but I wasn't hungry before I left home. If I'm not hungry in the morning, I just have coffee.


This week I realized that when I make coffee at home, it's far better than any place I can drive-through. I poured skimmed milk into a pan, brought it to a frothy boil, poured it into a stainless steel frother, and then pumped the milk until it was nice and thick. I filled half of the cup with coffee and the second half with thick-as-whipped-cream-froth. Yummy.

In looking ahead at exercise goals beyond the 5k, which is two weeks away, I looked for inspiration by previewing books on Amazon about fitness, running, marathons, half marathons, and yoga. I read a little about kayaking and I found something called "orienteering."

I went to Wikipedia to find out what that's all about:
"Orienteering is a family of sports that requires navigational skills using a map and compass to navigate from point to point in diverse and usually unfamiliar terrain, and normally moving at speed. Participants are given a topographical map, usually a specially prepared orienteering map, which they use to find control points."
Kayaking is something I have wanted to do in recent years, but because my body feels so stiff and inflexible, I didn't dare. When I was in Alaska this summer, I had the opportunity to kayak, but the fear of not being able to pull myself back into the boat if I fell out, stopped me from trying. In spring 2012, I would like to give this a try in warmer waters. As far as, orienteering goes, well, one thing at a time.

The book about yoga led me to this inspiring video (below) about Pilate's and Brooke Siler, leaving me to contemplate Pilate's as the next type of exercise to add to my life. I'm enjoying this new found energy and attitude from c25k, and I plan to continue running and walking after my 5k, but I want to work on making my body more flexible too. About five years ago I fell and when I hit the ground, my full weight was on one knee.  Stretching is supposed to help keep away the pain, but I haven't felt comfortable sitting on the floor since that fall. My fear for falling is intense, and walking down slopes with leaves, snow, ice, or mud, causes my whole body to tense up. The thought sitting on the floor, brings tears to my eyes. I fear I won't be able to get up, because putting my weight on my knees to get up is excruciating. Pilate's seems like a good next plan for  me.


As I walked from my car to my office early yesterday morning, I noticed a stride in my walk that wasn't there the day before. I was wearing a long-sleeved chocolate brown blouse, which I recently had altered, with blue jeans, that were skin-tight in July when I was in Alaska, but fit perfect now, and a blue leather jacket, which hasn't fit me for six years. I felt incredible. I felt a lightness within my body; my body was no longer weighing me down or holding me back. An internal airline stewardess-sounding-voice told me you are free to move about the planet. And move I did. I moved through my day with an inner glow that I was aware of all day. My routine on the treadmill added to my energy level and positive attitude. Cartwheels were a part of my day, if only in my mind.

Last night at the movies, I was aware of the extra space all around me in my seat. I was at Rave Theater, where the seats and isles are extra wide, and I enjoyed the open space by my sides. I leaned my body from the middle of my seat to left and a while later to the right, and there was a lot of space between my body and the edge of the chair. My body no longer squeezed against the sides. Again I heard my internal airline stewardess-sounding-voice you are free to move about the chair.

The Things People Say...
A few memorable things I heard from friends and family recently

When I was in the gym, yesterday (I love having those word as part of my conversations), I saw someone I hadn't seen in a while and she said:
"You had your back to me in the gym the other day and I didn't recognize you!"
On my way to lunch, I passed a friend who said:
"You're disappearing!"
One family member saw me earlier this week and said:
"You aren't starving yourself--are you?"
No, I am NOT starving myself - I'm eating rather well in fact.

Feeling this good has been a long time coming and well worth the wait.
Today's couch25k program was 5 minute warm up, 20 minutes jogging, and 5 minutes cool down. I was nervous about being able to run for 20 minutes, but I did it! I promised myself I wouldn't watch the time on my phone (where the application is running), but after 9 minutes I looked and then I looked again every 2 minutes or so. When I saw 8 minutes we remaining, I told myself  "I can do eight minutes" and I kept going.

Wooo hooo! I am proud of myself for accomplishing this!

For the next couple of days there will less jogging than today. The jogging time picks up again in four days and by the time I do the 5K (Dec. 4), I'll be jogging for 28 minutes. I am excited because now I know I can do this run and it can be really fun.

I was tired for about a half hour after my program, but a half hour later I felt great!

Keep in mind, I didn't start exercising until five weeks ago and I was  following Julie's program for  9 months before I decided to follow Julie's advice:
If you don't exercise, and you have a lot of weight to lose,
it's going to take a really long time
.

About the Hot Chocolate Run

The Hot Chocolate Run is a 5K run and a 2 mile walk through downtown Northampton, Massachusetts. This event raises funds for Safe Passage, the Hampshire County organization providing shelter, counseling, and advocacy services to women and children who have experienced domestic violence. This event is Safe Passage’s largest fundraising event.  View the Google map of the run.
This post has been removed, but I kept the page so the comments don't disappear.

For information on how to post to this blog, see Engage with this Blog.
What's for breakfast? Anything you want. I don't eat breakfast on a regular basis, because I follow the "eat when you're hungry" rule and most days I'm not hungry until after 1PM. There are days when I am hungry in the morning and I either make something or heat up leftovers.
Asparagus Frittata Recipe
Breakfast is not limited to eggs. You may have anything you want for breakfast, for example,
  • Leftovers from dinner the night before - just the meat or repeat the entire meal.
  • Have meat alone: sausage patties or links, bacon, ham, steak, chicken, pork, meatballs, or meatloaf.
  • Meat and eggs. 
  • Make an omelet, a crust-less quiche, or a frittatta
  • I love leftover salmon and I enjoy having it for cold breakfast.
If you're not hungry, don't have breakfast: eat only when your hungry.

Since I only cook for one person, I usually have leftovers for at least one more meal. This is actually a good strategy, to have something on hand when you get hungry.

When I grew up, we sometimes ate breakfast for dinner. Having dinner for breakfast isn't any different, you just have to let go of thinking that only certain foods are for breakfast. How many times did you have leftover pizza for breakfast? Why should any other leftover meal be any different?

Quick breakfasts:
  • Slices of deli ham. I prefer black forest ham sliced thick. I find the shelf-life is often short on deli meats, so I don't overstock and I try to get a good brand, such as Boar's Head.
  • Cottage cheese with meat.
What to eat out for breakfast?
  • Most restaurants have great choices for breakfast. Get over the fact that it may cost the same if you order the special and pass on the home fries and toast. Nobody is starving in China because you pass on these things. I like to order omelets or frittata with sausage, bacon, or ham on the side.
  • Beware of frittata with potatoes. One of my favorite places serves a slice with a wonderful salad. I have to pick out the potatoes, but it's worth my trouble. Yes, I have salad for breakfast sometimes! My friend and I enjoy it so much, when she had me over for breakfast, she made us a salad too.
  • Eggs Benedict is a favorite of mine too.
  • Fast food places will make any sandwich for you without the bread. Again, don't hold out for a price break. Tell them what you want and they'll make it for you. They get confused over this, but they want to make you happy.
  • Whole Foods sells cold salmon in their deli, so if you're having a late breakfast give them a try.
  • Remember to look for what you can have - not what you can't have. Or, don't even look at the menu, just tell them what you want.
When I first started this program I was not much of a meat eater. I wasn't vegetarian, but I never ordered red meat out and rarely cooked it at home. Imagine following a meat intensive program and hating meat. I had to get over myself and quickly if I wanted to be successful following Julie's program, as red meat is the top priority on her food list for losing weight, followed by pork and then chicken etc.

There were two reasons behind that decision. One reason: childhood memories of Mom's Sunday pot roast. My memory of her pot roast recipe, with my twisted sense of humor, is as follows:
  1. Place bloody-as-hell pot roast in a roasting pan.
  2. Dump 1 can cream of mushroom soup on top of roast.
  3. Fill can with water and splash over roast.
  4. Sprinkle roast with 1 package of onion soup mix.
  5. Cover with foil and place in oven.
  6. Bake at 350 for 20 minutes.
  7. Serve with bloody drippings to your family.
  8. Note to children who hate meat: wait until everyone is done eating and every time mom leaves the room, feed the dog another bite under the table.
There were children starving in China, so I had to stay at the table until I ate all of my pot roast. I never understood how my eating what was on my plate would help kids in China.

To this day, I lose my appetite if there's blood on the plate or the meat is red inside. I've had times where I cooked a burger at home and halfway through I can't take another bite even though the burger is cooked how I like it.

This brings me to my second reason for not eating meat: restaurants. Years ago I gave up ordering meat at restaurants because I tired of sending my meat back two and three times and eating my main course while my friends ate dessert. Sending my meat back took away from enjoying my meal. There are plenty of other items on the menu to order that allowed me to enjoy the same course as my friends and not have an issue with returning food.

Imagine the difficulty I would have following Julie's program if I didn't find a solution to my beef issues. I need to eat a lot of red meat often and Julie can't make me like meat more. I had to find a way around my bad memories of meat in order to follow the program. I asked a lot of questions the first night about red meat choices and started with my favorites.

Pepperoni is allowed, but since it's high in fat, I need to watch how often I have it. I used to have it a few times a week when I first started, then weaned myself down to once a week and now less than once a month. I only buy whole pepperoni sticks from Chef-a-Roni, my favorite Italian deli in Rhode Island. I like having a bit of cheese with the peperoni and if I have a veggie with them, I have either olives, coleslaw, carrots, or celery. In the early days of this program, I ate more cheese than I should have. At one of the sessions I heard Julie say "cheese should be treated as a condiment". That was a light-bulb moment. Cheese can't be the main course.

Meatballs are one of my favorite red meat choices. Yes, you can make meatballs with breadcrumbs. The same goes for meatloaf. I prefer to make meatballs as to eat them out, because I like my meatballs better. Restaurants often add pork or other meats to their meatballs; I'm not big on pork either. Although I have started having pork sausages and I really enjoy them.

I make a crockpot full of meatballs and I have no problem eating them over several days. I make a pan of meatloaf and do the same. I follow Julie's suggestion about tossing castup 30 days after buying it because I use up a small container within a month. The same applies to other condiments, I buy small containers and use them within 30 days. I always have a second container in the cupboard. The 30-day rule applies, because there are chemicals on top of the lid, which begin to break down into the food after 30 days. That chemical breakdown alters the food and then interacts with our bodies in ways that are not healthy for us. I'm not a chemist, so this is my approximation of the process. You can Google this for a better understanding.

In recent months, I've moved to organic/grass fed beef and chicken. Yes, it costs more, but if you do a Google search on this, you'll quickly understand you pay more now at the grocery store, but it tastes so much better and is much better for our bodies. I never thought I'd buy into this concept, but recently Temple Grandin spoke at Mount Holyoke College and I rented the video about her life and it changed my attitude about everything organic.

I ate out a lot when I started this program. It's amazing how my perspective of a menu changed. I see what I can have rather than what I can't have. I often went to Dunkin Donuts and ordered a sandwich without the bagel, a challenge for the cashier, but it worked for me. They put the cheese between the egg and the meat and include a knife. A few weeks ago I bought frozen sausage (small disk size) and I cooked the sausages in one pan and eggs in a poacher pan. I serve the eggs on top of the sausage and sometimes I make hollandaise sauce (from a package - be sure to add fresh lemon juice). This week I discovered fresh sausage in the meat section and they were much better than the frozen ones. I had eggs and sausage for dinner last night.

When I first started the program, I ate a lot, as Julie suggested "eat when you're hungry". I still follow this, but I'm not as hungry as I was back in Feb. I don't always have breakfast, though I usually have coffee. If I'm hungry, I eat. If I'm not hungry, I don't eat. If I'm going out of town, I often take day trips to visit my family in RI, I frequently bring food with me. I can eat out and stay on program, but it gets expensive quickly. I often travel with beef jerky, but I know where to stop for some if I get hungry on the way home.
There are many aspects of being obese that I didn't think about in my daily life, but once in a while circumstances would make me aware of my obesity.

At age 37, when I decided to go to college full-time I pushed all obstacles out of my way to make that happen. I did not anticipate that I would not fit into the desk-style chairs, which was the case my first day of class. I stood in the back of the room with with  flushed cheeks and I held back tears; I didn't know what to do. Within a few minutes, there more students in the room than chairs. The professor sent us to the next room for chairs and I quickly grabbed a larger chair for myself. After that class, I arrived early to all of my classes and made sure I would have a seat that fit.

It's humiliating to realize you're too big to fit into a chair. I feel embarrassed and when others realize the situation, they don't know what either.

I never told my friends this, but over the years I preferred one movie theater over the others, because the seats were bigger and there was more leg room. One of my favorite movie theaters (Pleasant Street Theater in Northampton), has seats that look like they came out of an old airplane. I stopped going there because the seats were so uncomfortable. I returned there a few months ago and there still isn't much leg room, but the seats fit!

This afternoon I went to a movie at Amherst Cinemas. When I arrived there was only one guy behind the counter to sell tickets and work the concession area. Both lines were long and he cleared the other line before he sold the tickets. When I walked into my movie, previews were just finishing up and as I looked for a seat, the theater darkened and credits for the movie I was there to see were just starting.

I walked to the top of the stairs in the dark and turned toward the screen, waiting for the light of the screen to return so I could see where seats were open. I scanned the rows and didn't see any empty seats. Slowly, I walked down the steps looking in each row. I spotted one open seat at the end of the row farthest from me and against the wall. Not for me, I thought. I saw two open seats in the first row from the screen and took a few steps down and then I paused. There was no way I was going to sit in the first row.

I'll go back and ask for a ticket to another show, I thought. I was disappointed that I was not going to see the movie I had planned my entire day around. I rushed down three more steps and thenlooked up at the exit sign.

No! I can do this, I told myself.

I spun around and ran back up to a row with an open seat.

Moments earlier, I had discarded this open seat as an option.

"Excuse me," I said. Two people moved into the isle and the rest moved their feet or stood up to let me go by. I squeezed past everyone and then sat into my chair, which fit quite nicely.

I never would have done this a few months ago. I would not have attempted to squeeze by people in a movie theater. It would have been too humiliating and I would feel bad for each person I passed, putting my big body in their way of seeing any part of the movie. No, I would most certainly have asked for my money back or to see another movie.

Weigh loss is about much more than a number on a scale. It's about fitting into a seat at the movies, on an airplane, or in a classroom. It's about many little things that happen in our lives that easily go unnoticed. Today I noticed.

Umbrellas - oh yes...I wanted to write my story about umbrellas. I once said to a friend "I never go into Victoria Secret because the only thing that fits me in that store is their umbrellas." In the year ahead, I will still have the option to buy a Victoria Secret umbrella and a whole lot more.

Oh, and the movie I saw today was called "The Way" and I highly recommend it!
There are periods of time when I feel like I'm not dropping weight.  When this happens, I remind myself it's part of the process and at some point soon after I enter a hungry phase. Since I eat when I'm hungry, I start eating more meat when I feel hunger more than usual. I find following this path weight begins to drop again. This cycle has happened enough times that I recognize it when it starts and I go the course and repeat the outcome. How cool is this...when you're hungry-eat to satisfy that hunger and the weight starts coming off again.

Another thing that helps the weight to come off is exercise. I recall Julie saying we don't have to exercise, but if we have a large amount of weight to lose, it's going to take a lot longer. Now that I've been exercising for five weeks, it feels like a habit and I don't like missing a day.

Speaking of exercise, on my way into the gym the other day, a friend asked what kind of exercise I was going to do. I told her about my couch25K app and how I gave myself a goal to work up to by signing up for a 5k run the first week of December. She said she prefers to swim because it's gentle on the body. What's gentle on the body, I thought, is any kind of exercise one enjoys enough to continue doing it the rest of their life. For me, it's running.

I used to be extremely active because it was fun. Staying between 142-150 was a bonus. I'd come home from work, put on my Nikes and change into my runners suit, which I made, such as a burgundy sleeveless tank top and short shorts with piping around the edges and a matching headband, and I'd run six miles in an hour. Weekends, my friends and I did a lot of water skiing, swimming, and long hikes. Tennis, volleyball, and aquatics we're other fun activities I did with friends. Dancing wasn't considered exercise back then, but we got a good workout then too.

Eating well makes exercise easier too. And, I don't know how it is for the rest of you, but I haven't had indigestion in a really long time. I didn't have it much, but now I never have indigestion.
I'm pleased with how I'm progressing with my couch-to-5k program. Yesterday, the jogging time expanded:
  • Walk 5 minutes/Jog 3 minutes
  • Walk 90 seconds/Jog 5 minutes
  • Walk 3 minutes/Jog 3 minutes
  • Walk 90 seconds/Jog 5 minutes 
  • Walk 5 minutes
This exercise program is so cool! It was a hard workout, but ten minutes after I was finished - I felt incredible. Two days earlier, the routine was the same, but I had forgotten my tee-shirt and I had to wear a sweatshirt inside the gym the entire time. Man, that was one hot session and it was a difficult workout being so overheated. It took me a good 45 minutes before I cooled down and felt good from the workout. I won't forget my exercise clothes anytime soon.

What kept me going this week on the treadmill was remembering how I used to feel tired and over exerted all the time. But on the treadmill, I push through it and after I'm done I feel fantastic. This week, I looked forward to my workouts. It was such a stressful week from the snowstorm and not having heat or electricity for a few days. I connected with my inner-athlete from long ago, who used to run to work off stress from they day. This solutions feels and looks better than anything I used to eat when I was stressed. Exercise brings me into the present moment; food numbed me. I like being present much more.

I missed a day on the treadmill this week, but am moving forward just the same. I don't carry guilt or feel I need to squeeze in another day. I know I'm doing my best and that once in a while life gets in the way of exercise. I'll do my best not to miss another exercise day again. It's a new thing for me -- enjoying working out, or at least new in the past decade.

I want to be more flexible. Some days I feel as if I could easily break. My "runners knees", as my doctor assessed them, hurt when I go down steps or slopes. That's when I feel most fragile. The doctor prescribed stretching exercises. I did them twice three months ago. I want to incorporate them as a part of my daily routine, like flossing. I can't get down on the floor because I fear I won't be able to get up. I want to overcome the fear as well as the pain. Doing the stretches is the first step. Getting up and down on the floor is the next step. After that: yoga or tai chi.

Today was a shopping day, as it's time for new bras. Last week I tried bras and I left empty-handed. I had no idea what size I needed and I wasn't having success finding the right fit on my own. Today, I thought I'd have better luck at JC Penney's, but the sales woman there seemed to speak a different language. I left empty-handed and feeling like a freak. I ended up at Lane Bryant. I didn't want to go there, because I thought I was done shopping in specialty stores for large women. Turns out I'm not quite done. At least not when it comes to buying a bra.

The Lane Bryant sales woman measured me and after a few tries, she found the right one for me. Turns out that not only was I going about the size all the wrong way, but I needed a different style too. This time, I left the store with three new bras. All without judgment from the sales person. The new ones are two sizes smaller than the ones I have at home. Time to toss all of them this weekend.

While there, I tried on a beautiful dark green sweater in a size 18. I didn't buy it because I'm not ready to spend money on new clothes just yet. It was on sale for $30, but I know it will be too big in two months, so I passed on it. It was nice fitting into an 18, even if it is in a large woman's store. I was curious what size pants would fit me there, but I passed on trying on pants.

My day to run on the beach is coming. Meanwhile, I am inspired by this photo...

October 29, 2011 snowstorm
I'm blogging from Whole Foods in Hadley, MA. It's day two of no electricity or heat. Yesterday was a challenge at the grocery store where no meat was for sale. Aside from a lousy cup of coffee at noon, I didn't eat anything all day, so I worked up an appetite by late afternoon. Fortunately I cooked and pulverized chicken two days earlier, so I made chicken salad at 5 pm.

At Whole foods today, pork sausage was added to the hot self-serve while I was in line. I have a couple sausages and eggs, grilled onions and orange peppers, a bit of broccoli and a nice tall bottle of Italian Sparkling Mineral Water. Oh and some butternut squash soup. I'm not as hungry as all that and have already abandoned half of my plate and am focusing on the soup.

Yesterday I was in a panic about what to eat and I guess it carried over to today, causing me to pile my plate bigger than usual. All my choices are on program and I don't overeat anymore, so the worse of this is that I wasted money. I don't like to waste money either, but when one is in a panic state of mind this happens sometimes.

Looking at the photos makes it easier to understand my state of mind. I wasn't crazy, the situation was insane. I'll post my photos of all those empty shelves yesterday at the grocery store, but I can't do this from my iPad or iPhone. I'll add them when I can get to a desktop (note: on 11/17/11 I added the photos to top and bottoms of this page).

I'm happy to report I did not indulge in the package items or baked goods I saw fill everyone else's grocery carts. Just for a moment, a fear filled me and I thought "I'll starve to death if I don't eat that stuff, that's all there is to eat. Just a bananna or avacado or... No, they have beef jerky. I won't starve!" I bought bought a pack of beef jerky to suffice my fears. I never even cracked the package open.

10/29/11 Snow storm photos: The stores didn't have food after the power was out 24 hours.
One of the things about this program I continue to marvel at is how easy it is to eat out. I look at the menu options and see all the things I can't eat. I used to only see what I couldn't eat or feel guilty because I ate those options. That isn't the case today.  If I look at a menu and don't see something I want to eat, I move along to another place. When I was in NYC last week, I was traveling with a vegetarian and it was nice that we were both on the same page with finding a menu that met both of our needs. It wasn't an issue that one of us didn't see something we wanted to eat, we both agreed to keep going until we found the right place to eat. And there are tons of places that serve the kind of food we both wanted.

It's amazing how accommodating places are when I order something not quite on their menu. There's a deli near where I work that I've been having lunch at for over a decade. I order sandwiches without the bread and they make me a beautiful plate. I go to Dunkin Donuts and order a large coffee with extra milk, and no sugar, with a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich - without the bread. Once in a while they have a new server and I have to explain my drill..."charge me for a sandwich combo, they don't discount this, and let the cook know the sandwich is without the bread." The cook and I have it worked out that she'll put the cheese in between the meat and egg, so it doesn't stick to the cardboard they place it in.
Pannikin Coffee & Tea, Encinitas, CA
When I first started this program I gave up coffee. It was easier to give up coffee than to try and drink it without sugar. Three months later, while on vacation in California, I had breakfast with a friend at my favorite breakfast place in southern California, the Pannikin, where they make the best Café au lait. They make froth like nobody else. I ordered my breakfast and a Café au lait, had a great visit with my friend, ordered a second cup and visited for another hour. From then on, I've been drinking my coffee without sugar.

I remember a few weeks into this journey when I was in a grocery store and suddenly I was seeing things differently. I  saw baked goods in a different way. I didn't feel the need to have them, I appreciated how beautiful they looked. I'd never understood people who saw food in this way until then. That's not to say I never want baked goodies, but the moment comes and goes. I know this has to do with the work Julie does and I'm happy to have this now a part of my life.
Pannikin Coffee & Tea
This new view of food is best understood by this analogy: I don't feel the need to eat the beautiful pastry or pizza or whatever the food is, anymore than I would want to eat a beautiful flower or leaf. I appreciate it's beauty for what it is and I move on.


My dreams, well that's something different. I have had a few dreams about eating foods that are not on my current program. A few nights ago I had a dream in which I told Julie and the group that I ate chocolate chip cookies. The dream was so real, that after I woke up and started brushing my teeth, I found myself trying to remember when I ate the cookies. It took a few minutes before I realized I hadn't eaten cookies, it was only in my dream.

Tonight I'm going to see Julie for a refresher and I'm looking forward to it. I go to these refreshers to help me stay strong on the program and to learn more. I've had great success with this program and I want to stay strong on this course. I haven't gone off course, except in my dreams, since I started the end of January 2011. No scale. No sugar. No exception.

How about you? How's your program going?

Do you have any recipes or  would you like to share your weight loss stories? To become a regular contributor to this blog, add a comment at the bottom of any post with your email and request to be added as a contributor. I moderate comments, so your details will not publish when you make this request.
I've stayed committed to my couch to 5K exercise routine and I'm quite pleased with myself. It helps that my friend Aime meets me at the gym and we do our routine together every other day and once over the weekend.

After our workout yesterday, I was complaining about being out of breathe and in a bit of foot pain and it suddenly I realized -- this is the way I used to feel all the time. Every day when I used to get into my car, my legs would feel stiff and my knees hurt. I was out of breathe just walking a short distance across campus. Now, I only feel this way for a short time after I exercise, It's a good kind of out-of-breathe and pain, both are temporary and are followed by an increase in energy that lasts the rest of the day and into the next. How quickly one forgets daily pain when it's gone. My knee and foot pain, once a 24 hour issue, is now minimal.

When I've mentioned the hot chocolate run to others, I often hear them say their knees won't allow them to run. I'm instantly grateful, that my knees seem to be happy with my running, as I have less knee pain than I did earlier this summer. I don't feel knee pain from jogging on the treadmill. I still feel knee pain when I walk downhill or down steps, but I'm not doing the strectching exercises the doctor suggested would resolve that. This is a good reminder to me that it's time to get back on those 5 minute stretches again.

Last night I bought 3 pairs of SmartWool Women's Outdoor Sport Lightweight Micro Socks at Dick's Sporting Goods. I first bought SmartWool socks while on vacation in California last March, because my regular socks were burning my feet in my sneakers. Now that walking and jogging are a part of my life, I needed to buy a few more pairs. I never would have believed I'd pay $14.99 for a pair of socks, but here we are. Comfort is priceless in my book.  That said, I will be looking online for more options.

I like grey or black, as they match my sneakers better, but they always seem to have these colors on the bottom and a different color on top. On site I found is Socks Addict, which I'll look around for less costly but same quality socks.

Yesterday I completed day two of the Couch-to-5K and today I walked the Whiting Street Reservoir in Holyoke, MA. It took me 1 1/2 hours to walk the full circle (3.9 miles). No doubt, my vacation in June this year to Alaska helped me achieve both these goals. I reconnected with the athlete within me once again. It's great to be connected this way again. Day one of c25k, on the treadmill, I sweated, I huffed, I puffed, and I kept going. Day two of c25k, I walked/jogged outside with Aime a the Holyoke Reservoir. I didn't sweat like I day on day one, so I'm guessing I worked myself harder on the treadmill than I did outdoors. But I didn't go uphill on the treadmill, so it's a win-win situation.

I'm on the right - June 2011 in Sitka, Alaska

Holyoke Reservoir, MA  (1 1/2 hour walk) 10/16/11
I signed up to run the Hot Chocolate Run, Dec. 4, 2011 in Northampton, MA. If you want to join me in this run, register on my hot chocolate run fundraising page. This will be my first run since I the early 1990's when I used do do 5K runs in southern California. I'm hoping to get my friends and family to join me in the run or that they'll do the walk. I'm also looking for a 5K event in Carlsbad, CA that will happen when I'm there for my vacation in March/April 2012.

I'm on a roll and it feels good!
In the seventies and eighties, I was a runner, but I haven't run in this century at all. That all changed yesterday when I started day one of a nine week app c25k.

The couch to 5k program starts you walking 5 minutes to warm up and then you spend the next 20 min. alternating from 90 seconds walking / 60 seconds running. I'm on the last day of a three-day conference in NYC, and smack in the middle of my conference, I started running at 7 am on the treadmill in Marriott Brooklyn, yesterday morning.

On my way to the train station, I turned around a few minutes from my house to go back for my exercise gear, so I would have the option to do them gym. I didn't know then that I would actually use the gym and I certainly didn't know I'd start couch25k. I downloaded the app last week, so I guess I have been moving inn this directly slowly, but moving none the less.

I took it slow, walking at 3.0 for the warm-up. When the running time came, I increased speed to 4.0. I watched the timer count backwards, and, one minute at a time, I found myself with sweat rolling off my reddened face, moving one foot and then the other to the beat of the treadmill. Thirty minutes passed. I was dizzy when I got off the treadmill, but elated I did it,
I'm overwhelmed with clothes. So overwhelmed, that it's hard to figure out what to wear each morning.
Sifting through my clothes
I have three closets in my bedroom, each filled with different sizes, starting with size 32 down to size 20. Size is relative, as something in a 20 fits perfect and some sized 22 pieces don't.

The far right closet has 42 of the 50 items I put in there four months ago to post on eBay. I did really well selling on eBay. I made over $75 and the few pieces that didn't sell I donated right away. I figure I have another easy $500 sitting in my closets. That's money I can use to buy new clothes as I continue dropping in size. Actually, I more likely stand to make $1,000 or more based on my recent inventory, but whose counting.

The middle closet is a mixture of clothes that are too big and that clothes that fit. I need to move the items that are too big into the eBay closet, which will leave me with a nearly empty closet. I have new clothes a friend gave me that I can move into the empty space.
Some of them fit, others are too small.

I need to move the later into my third closet, which has hardly any clothes in there. They're the last of my smallest sizes, about 10 items, including a jacket that the same friend gave me that would have been perfect for my trip to Alaska in June, but it wouldn't zip. It zips now, so I can move it into my coat closet downstairs.

I'm on a roll and I look forward to selling all this excess and having a wardrobe of clothes that all fit.

Is it just me, or is all this just too convoluted?
I'll fill you in on my Julie-Journey at some time. Tonight though I am publishing my Wellness Vision. I have been itching to jog lately. I've had 3 or 4 chance encounters with two particular friends just as they're coming off their jog. With both friends I was inspired by their commitment, their glow and their smile!

So today I mentioned to one of them -- "I've got to start jogging." She gave me all the reasons why she jogs.

Then i saw the second friend, and I just blurted out to her "I've got to start jogging soon!" Well it turns out in addition to be on the faculty for Movement Science @ Westfield State, she is also a wellness coach.

So, not to miss an opportunity to coach -- she asked me WHEN -- I said either @ 6am or 9pm. She said, "Will you call me tonight @ 9pm?"

I felt her excitement and said "Sure!" So here is what we came up with. She asked -- Why is Wellness important to me? and to paint a picture of where I want my wellness to be in a year. She asked questions and I answered them. She then synthesized my thoughts into the following:
My wellness vision is to have a sustainable, committed lifestyle that enables me to have exercise as a regular part of my life. This is important to me because I want to be active, engaged, focused and able to fully live and be involved in my life and the lives of the people I love. I'm challenged by the behavior patterns that have sabotaged my ability to have a regular program and by the other significant commitments in my life.
I know that I am a creative and goal oriented person who has an ability to take initiative and I commit to this goal because it is important to me and through family support and a well thought out plan I can be successful.
I took notes about my weight loss journey earlier this week and I didn't have time to post to this blog, so I'm going to post them now.

9/30/11 

I watched this video of me that was created this time last year. OMG! It's one thing to see yourself in a photo, it's another to see a yourself video, even if only for  a few seconds.

I saw myself in another video with my back to the camera - wow - I really had no idea just how large I was. I'm glad I was looking at a video and not looking in a mirror.

Today, eight months into my weight loss journey, I can see how much my body has changed, but I also see that I am still obese. I feel good about the change in my size at at the same time and I am mindful of the being in this present present moment. In being present, I can accept my body size today, be proud of the progress I've made, and continue to be optimistic about the journey that is still ahead of me.

Last night I returned a couple of the blouses I bought a few weeks ago. My good friend Amie pointed out:
They're too long for your new body. In a few months when the lower part of your body catches up to your small shoulders, those tops are going to hang on you and make you look bigger.
I'm taking two more blouses back this week.

10/07/11

I heard some great comments about my weight loss this week. I was walking with my brother a few nights ago and I saw a woman turn towards us, turn away, and then turn back to us again.

"I thought I heard your voice, but when I turned around I realized it wasn't you. Then, I heard your voice again and turned to see that it is you! You look great!" my friend said to me.

Then she turned to my brother and said, "You must be so proud of your sister!"

"Yes I am" he beamed.

After walking my brother to his car, my friend and I walked for about 45 minutes. I'd been sitting at my desk all day and it felt great to expend some of the high energy I had at 7 pm. As we walked, she again commented on my weight...

"You look normal now" she said.

Normal works for me.

I took this photo of the chicken salad I made tonight and described how I make it below. I have a couple food videos to post one of these days. One video is how to make pizza Julie style. The other is on making a Julie style drink with vodka. I promise to post them by the end of October. Meanwhile, I have butternut squash roasting in the oven that I need to tend to. Enjoy my chicken salad recipe.

Chicken Salad

One of my favorite and easy-to-make meals is chicken salad. I cook two packages of chicken tenders or breasts in a pot of water and when the chicken cooled down, I put the chicken in a food processor. Salt and pepper to taste. I generally only add black pepper, but I like to mince garlic in it too.

Sometimes I add an onion to the food processor and mixed it in with the ground chicken. Other times I cut the onion by hand and add celery too. I put the covered dish full of chicken in the refrigerator and it's ready for a quick meal. I add mayo or yogurt to the portion I'm ready to eat or when I pack it in my lunch container.

It all makes a mess, but it's well worth it. Tonight I'm having chicken salad with pickles. Sometimes I have salad greens or eat celery along with it.
This blog is for those of us who are working with hypnotherapist Julie Kibe and who wish to share your weight loss experiences, ups and down, recipes, and thoughts. I invite you to share this blog with others, so we can build a community of support.
This is me in October 2010
I started key hypnosis with Julie the end of Jan. 2011. It's been an incredible journey for me, because for the first time in my life I'm dropping weight effortlessly. I no longer think about the diet I'll start tomorrow, because I'm following an eating program that is sustainable. I'm confident that I will reach the size I want to be and that I will be able to maintain that size.

When I started this journey, I wore size 30/32 tops and pants and I couldn't fit into anything in the women's section of JCPenney or Macy's. Last weekend I bought a Macy's 1X blouse and it fits perfect. It was great trying on clothes and having so many choices. It was a more positive shopping experience than I've had in years. I will never need to shop at large woman's clothing stores again!

When the photo (above) was taken of me in October 2010, I know what I weighed then, but  I don't know how much weight I've lost because I follow the no scale agreement. There are times I find this challenging. Once at the doctors office, I positioned myself so I wouldn't see the scale and then as I stepped off I saw .9 on the digital read. I closed my eyes so I wouldn't see the preceding numbers. Close call, but I felt proud I managed to escape seeing those numbers. I know how the scale can mess with your head and I am determined to keep away. 

A year ago my doctor told me I was going to be diabetic. She was surprised when I came into her office shortly after starting this program. She's seen me at my top weight and over the years has never seen me drop more than a few pounds. Last time I saw her, she said 'we don't need to do a diabetes test this year.'

Yesterday, I wore a size 20W front-zip pants and I loved how I felt and looked. They were hand-me-downs from a friend who is also following Julie. Today, I'm wearing a blouse that I've had in my closet since 1998 and have never worn. It also was a hand-me-down. It's exciting to be getting to the bottom of my closet and having more clothes that are too big than too small. eBay here I come.

If you would like to become a contributor to this blog, send an email to Theresa (me). I'd love to see recipes and journeys of others following Julie's weight loss program.